yes. i got into a fight with my mum. remember me being rudely awakened by the blasted tv and sis's handphone alarm? grr. twas horrid. so my mum was aying 'where got? u slept for 3 hours from 5 till 8'(i woke up at 7~7.20) and i was totally peeved. JUST because u were friggin busy with cooking. JUST because i was cursing the hell n trying to catch more sleep in the beddyroom. JUST because i came out at 8pm. doesnt MEAN i woke up at 8
its like. the blasted tv was loud that she can hear it from the kitchen. she would know that it was SWITCHED OFF. the bloddy living room was with lights not switched on,she would KNOw that it was SWITCHED ON! bloody f*
'what DO you know about ME? u were always being so conceited. in yer own world. all u want is your tv. all u want is to watch your beloved TV .fish!u gave birth to me into this pathetic world. all u do is to hurt me. wheres the love and care? where the concern?' (she ALWAYS does that. and i,left crying heartbrokened by myself in the room)
thats what i typed in the handphone as a message. i was dead heartbroken. crying myself out. looking at my pathetic self in the bloody mirror,crying. i wanted to call up goaty. but i couldnt. its equally hard on him. he has even more to study for the test(same period today). and i know he has difficult times himslef. (besides. its totally wrong to be disturbing someone else's sleep at 12++ midnight)
i realised. so much for 'at least we can rely on each other now'. i was all alone again. alone to face my pain. my sorrow. my sadness. i shouldnt be too selfish and bother him. me. back to square one. by myslef again. *tears brim* *rubs away*
i was so sad that even this morning when i woke up. i was still feeling sore and teary about it. i walked out of the house. and on the way to the bus stop. tears came brimming my eyes. i rubbed them off. trying to be strong.
'yes. i shouldnt impose on him. i should focus on the test(which i havent studied yet ><) this is not the time!!'
i amazed myself. i was a good girl. i held back my tears and sorrow. or to be exact.this was drowned in my *must study hard or i'll die!!!* -ness i was able to talk to him normally with smiles. ^^ . i dont know how i managed to do that
at least im glad. i didnt break down and gave him even more stuff to worry about. not to mention create a scene infront of the school(the only time we get to talk verbally,even if its for a short while,is on the way from the bus stop to the school foyer)
god grants my wishes. he gave me the firend i was looking for. he had goaty reply my sms after i typed previously in the post that he doesnt reply. he made me type an emo post. yet. this wasnt exactly gratifying in any way...
..........................................
whatever ^^ me have been reading Shinshi doumei cross. ^^ fyi. its by the one who did full moon and kamikaze kaitou jeanne. ^^ lol. rather cute. yes. i am back to manga-ism .at least. for today. cus its the weekends!~~~~ *in a singsong voice ^^ was reading bleach and naruto- no wait? did i mentioned that in the last post yesterday(wait i posted yesterday?)
the lingering feel......
of........
PEANUTS!!!!! IN MY MOUTH! ^^
yay. i love that. had them for my lunch at 4pm(me went prezzie shopping just now for viv's bdae. had unfortunately failed to find stuff for nissie. shall try to get her something. was thinking of baking cookies from cookie mix or cupcakes. havent made a trip down to the bakery-stuff shop yet. the actual pressie hasta wait when me had more cash on me nissie~)
so hm. the people involved are near. the...walls....have..ears *whispers* lol
XD btw. my bio teacher was being a pervy person again >< my friend said 'perm' and she heard it with the 's' infront. cus she was teaching us the component of skin and also a bit of hair so she was being random and was talking about people wanted their hairs in the (not very nice places to speak of on the body) straightened. whatever. shes a pervy one sometimes. we werent even thinking that way. she's the only one thinkin hentai ><
whatever. more manga! and i shall get my beloved sleep sometime later.
edit: replies to comments:(i forgot to do this!)
+hm. they say my ascendant sign's the cancer. like. that sign affects ur personality. lol. yea. but thats gotta wait for even longer
+ooooooh~~~~~~~ baaaaaaad girl sesshy!! tsktsk. but as i said. mr SS was a funny one. lol. but when it truly gets boring. i can nod off....
+>< EVVIL LS!!! NOOOOO *no whippies nooo >< *trembles* hm. but i DO have a friend who indeed runs on caffine all day. remember Caffine-san(aka Ah Lun)? lol. yep. thats her
-disappears into the darkness with a flicker of ghastly flame~- 
