listening to winter sleep from nana
it has nice songs.
stressed like shit
fine. so i was wrong for not doing my past year papers like i should. well. i wasnt the only one. so my teacher was like blahblahblahblahbalbhalah about it. feh. and then she was gonig through this revision notes. fine. i searched damn hard for it. forgot where it was. so it wasnt under my desk. and i didnt wanna interrupt her so i kept my mouth shut and didnt ask permission to go to dig it out from the locker. she was obviously unhappy. fine! ugh
like hell its my bloody fault?! sorry for being a senile child of 14~15! ugh
teachers suddenly reminding us EOYs are bloody hell next week. fish them. like bloody hell i know!
my teacher came in to class. bitched about me not collecting the class newspaper from her pigeon hole/locker. ugh. like bloody hell. she was the one who wanted me to do it in the first place./ i just so happened to pick it up since my friend wan ying the monitress passed by there,and a teacher was distributing them. ugh!! wth!
soory i are forgetful. and senile. and i dunno when exactly they bring up the newspaper. UGH! yea bloody hell's its my fault
so yea. i was in a terrible mood because of this. i dont like being stressed out. i dont. well. these ignorant bunch of peeps just HAD to do that. they just do it. and do they care how we ever feel?!
i KNOW the exams are near. i KNOW i forgot to do my 'homework'. i KNOW I KNOW!!!!!!!!! but what do ya want me to do?! theres so little i can do. theres too much for me to handle...
maybe im being a bad friend, i mean, not sharing this with my friends. in school. at most. al i will ever be is the 'terribly pissed off and cursing' kitty. i wont ever cry infront of them. i couldnt. maybe i dont trust them. maybe i dont trust them well enough. maybe i dont even feel like it. i just cant trust them
i think ive mentioned this before last time. yes. i have my pride. and these world of asses and bitches just hasta take it down.
an old saying goes 'wounds will heal someday'. well. when the wound closes and the scab drops off. there will forever be a scar left behind. burn it. apply layers of medicine. it never goes away
people just dont understand me. well. actually. i still dont trust them well enough.depite the world slowly,bit by bit,expanding....im hurt. too much. too much for me to move.
....im scared....im frightened.... i dont know what is gonna happen in the end.. i dont have the courage to step out of this cage of mine. the doors are opened slightly. i dont dare to push it open. i dont dare to step outside. i dont wanna be hurt again...
well. sorry for being such a dark n emo child. theres nuthing u can ever do for me now...the darkness has taken over my heart. wounds close,yet new ones are formed. it hurts. sometimes. looking down at this pathetic world. i wanna jump and end it all sometimes.................
p.s had ice cream for reccess.was happy. but my friend was acting like a total kid. so yes. i wanna disown my friends.
p.s.s. ah lun has cramps. so pain she cant move. we said she was in labour.(jokingly) it was random but i said before that 'i think i havent got that thing for quite sometime'. and she went saying. NO u are the one who's pregnant. TT am so not! and she insisted its goaty. TT and zoe tha blabermouth+crazy+embarrasingly getting too hyped up by ice cream girl,was gonnab lurt out bout the other guy i think i used to like. grr.(note: same class alert) UGH. i wanted to strangle them. bleah.... grrrrr.
and they said before. when the body aint in very good condition,the cycle gets disrupted. thus u dont get THAT. grrr. whatever. not like it was a pleasant one. and i dont do that kinda stuff. *if ya know what i mean* yuck hell no. unless i can totally trust that guy......which is probabLy why adoption is more feasible yuck hell no~
yes i can be a nice n caring person. if i want to. but get me on the wrong time wrong days and u are in for a good whupping!
lyrics
**It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull
Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far oh far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue
Can you hear me out there?
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me....
-disappears into the darkness with a flicker of ghastly flame~- 
