Monday, July 19, 2004

   Kiss my butt
Somethings up with Uly, he touched my ass today and was all touchy on me, well he might feel bad for almost losing me I guess. I know I was scared when I thought I had lost him. =( Yeah, Well how are my people doing? I'm okay, I could be lots better, but Im not and that's okay. Im watchnig CLap, theat soap on the spanish chanel where everything is going wrong.
Two month anniversary on Wednesday, barely, Im so happy for us!!!! Well I should eb going, I still have to memorize Voice of an Angel. Buh-Byezz.
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Friday, July 9, 2004

Life goes on...
I went to Mayra's brothers funeral. Im stunned shocked and I feel empty inside. I cried, I tried hard not to but I did. I'm just tired of everything happening out of the blue. Only me and Angie went which pissed me off. I think there should have been a lot of more people. Not just us two. But whatever its people's choices. I have no say in what they do. I just hope that for my funeral I can have all my friends there with me. If not, then those who mean the world to me. Ulyses, Alana, Angie, Martini, Mayra, Elisabeth, JHenai, Sue and POrshay. All others can die for all I care. Tomorrow's Ivans birthday, its gonna be at land park. I'll talk to everyone later. Byezz.
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Wednesday, June 9, 2004

Good Luck

I've been thinking about what i should and what I shouldnt write. And, I guess it doesnt make a difference, everyone one will notice my change with tomorrow.

I feel so there. I just dont know how I feel, but all I can tell you all for sure is that I feel different, kinda as if it werent me going through those classes. I dont know what happened but I guess it all began yesturday night during graduation. Seeing them up there, graduating, kinda made me think: Gosh, Dayana, get your act together!! Else you might just not pass high school! I just have that going in through my mind. Then this morning Ulyses walked right by me, without saying even Hello to me! It just made me feel so awful. Elia even said that that was messed up.

So then during band, I turned in my key, and I turned in my music and Nena's fltue, which I didnt even use at all. I kept my oboe over the summer. I signed Krista yearbook. Which was nice, it was one of the few who I wanted to sign. Then I signed Lance's which wasnt somthing I expected. It was kinda cute the way he asked me to sign it, he came up and tickled me adn said"You and Nai sign this." Lol. Elia didnt leave my side all period saying I needed to cheer up. Then 10am came and I went into the consulors.

Well she made me feel a bit better. I told her I was gonna retake my algebra end of course exam to get a higher grade in my math class. She asked me if I enjoyed playing, performing. I told her of course, that's why Ive always been involved in music things. All because (and yes, I know this is gonna sounds conceited, but its true!) I love having the spot light on me! I love the attention. But only that attention, music based attention. She said what color would I put to that feelnig I got when I performed..I said a bright morning sun yellow. She told me to imagine that color all over me while taking that test. I did, and I think I did really good. I felt so confident!!! That was one of the few things that made me smile.

After school, I caught Ulyses before he left. We talked a little and he said he wanted to talk to me. He also aksed me if I was okay, he said I looked a little pale. Yeah, but that was that.

Next year will be a better year. I will make it a better year. Im gonna work harder and not give up so easily to depressions. Ill change some things, well most things. I know that Im gonna fade some friendships, make others just friends, not close friends, and make some friends closer friends. yeah, but Im gonna make some nessacary chages for me to be able to makle next year loads better. I know that'll I end up hanging out with Ulyses, E-lis, Martin, Sue, Angela, Diamond, and Porshay also wants to get away from some people. My attitude will also be changing. Im gonna try to stay away from the band room this year, that way I dont listen to certain types of conversations. My grades are gonna come up majorly.

I regret so many things about this year. But the one I regret the most, isnt dating Corey, but dating Isiah.I just wish I hadnt. I had a good point in when I told Kelly that they always took his side on arguments. I shoulda known they would take his side on this too. Well you know, at least now I know who I can and cant trust. I know not to depend on Jhenai, Tim, or any of them. I just cant believe that she would set me up like that, Jhenai my own best friend. Its just bullshit. But now I know better. I know now that she sells her best friends. But that is the one thing I regret the most abotu this year.
GOOD LUCK JOHN STILL CLASS OF '04!!!! i LOVE YOU AND WISH YOU MY BESTEST.
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Sunday, June 6, 2004

   LONGEST EVER POST........NOT KIDDING
“The spiders want me to do a tap dance for them….”
I saw Harry Potter and IT WAS GOOD!!!! I was so surprised when Olga asked the cab driver to stop in front of the mall, I thought maybe she was gonna buy me clothes as compensation, or maybe buy something to fix my room up, but not to be taken to the movies!!!! I was psyched(sp?)!!!! I couldn’t/cant stop smiling!!!! My sister said my head was long gone. Okay, so I’ll update y’all on my weekend beginning with Friday.
So Friday was the last day for seniors. But funny thing is it didn’t seem like it was. It seemed like ever other day. I didn’t do anything in first period. I never do, LoL. Second period we did that quest, which I hope I did good on, and then we went into the green room to talk about our project. We spotted my boyfriend (gosh, that feels so good to say, hehe.) and Laura and Lyndsie saw him too!!! Laura was all you have a cute boyfriend!!! So, I’m lucky because I have a cute boyfriend! Third we turned in our letters and then we “studied” for our final which is gonna be on Romeo and Juliet. I told Ulyses about the cute boyfriend thing, LoL. Fourth we went over graduation music and our schedule. I really like that grand march song, I don’t know why. Lol. Maybe because I actually practiced it and got the hang of it!!! Oh yeah, section leaders got announced. Flute section leader is Krista!!!! Yay Krista!!! Clarinets got Matthew. Saxes got Jessica. Trumpets got Jacob? I’m not sure. Brass got Lance!!! Good for him. And pit got Jay!! I was thinking about switching over to the brass section, just to be in Lance’s section, but I promised Krista I would stay with her if she got section leader. So yeah, oh well. Fifth I did NOTHING, not even correct papers or write letters. Sixth, we ate French food. That was pretty good, except the cheese is not to my standards!!! Lol. Yuck. After school, I rushed over to bang my locker open so I could give Mrs. St John her book. I bumped into Karen, Kelly’s sister. She asked me if I knew where B-26 was. Yeah, pointed her in the opposite direction in which she was going. Hehe. I went into the band room to take everything home, including my sister’s sandals!! Yeah, saw Kelly, gave her a goodbye. Kinda hard carrying everything. Then I came home, and called people. Went out to eat and came home.
Then on Saturday morning, my dad came banging on my door asking me to wake up and get ready to go out. He said to pack clothes to spend the weekend away. So I dumped everything out of my backpack, and threw in two shirts, shorts, jeans, lotion and hair spray. (And of course underwear, LoL.) Got into the car, I didn’t realize where we were going until we reached Union City. We were headed to my sister Olga’s place. Well apparently while I had gone out the night before she had called asking if my dad would let me go and spent the weekend with her since her husband would be out of town, and she didn’t want to be alone if anything happened. Well I learned a lot this weekend from spending it with her. One I learned her husbands name is Mark!!! What a coincidence. Lol. So yeah. She changed her last name to Lacey. So anyways with Saturday. I got there and Olga was hella happy to see me, I haven’t seen her since Thanksgiving when she made the whole Court commotion. But whatever. So I did a lot of chores for her on Saturday. She took me to an empty bedroom and was all. “I want you to be close to the baby when it grows up. I want you to come over as much as possible. I want you to have this room and keep it here so it can make things easier for you.” I accepted. We then spent most of the afternoon planning how we were gonna decorate it. Then sometime after dinner she told me that she had a computer in her den. I was all Can I use it?! Lol. Good thing she had AOL on it. I installed Yahoo and AIM on it too. So I spent quite awhile doing all that. She came in and asked me why I was sulking. I told her because Kelly had just left to go see Harry Potter. And I was a huge Potter fan and couldn’t go see it because my mom wouldn’t let me. So then that night she called the pool man to come clean the pool. So I signed off, and tired to sleep. All I could think about was my failing grades, not seeing Harry Potter, and the way I treated some people over the phone that day (Only E-lis knows and will know about that, our lil secret ^_^).
So I woke up and Olga was already up making breakfast. She said I could get on the computer. I got on, and then she said to be ready by 10am. I changed quickly into clothes, and she called a cab. We went straight to the movie theater. And she got tickets to see Harry Potter!!! We watched the whole thing, and it was good. Then afterward we went to Bombay and bought some stuff for my new room. Then we went into some electronics store so she could buy another computer. For me!!! WE came home, and the pool was ready. So me and her got inot the pool and swam!!! I haven’t swan in a while. Lol. My mo came to pick me up later and now I’m here. Lol.
So end of the school year is near. Lol. I’m kinda not excited about it. Then again I’m glad that this year is over, next year should be lots better.
Graduation is this Tuesday night. I’m excited because I’ve never seen a high school graduation. I have finals all week. Tomorrow its Art and English and there’s no way to study for either one. Then on Tuesday its Science and French, and I gotta study hard for each of them. On Wednesday its band and math. Good thing is I don’t have to study for either one because I don’t have finals for either class. Then on Thursday it’s where I don’t know what I’m doing exactly. It’s either go to class, or go to graduation. Lol. I just don’t know what I’m going to do about that day. On Friday we are going to San Jose to see some kid’s graduation. On Saturday I have to get ready to leave for London, and On Sunday I leave. Won’t come back till probably Friday. Then that Saturday Ill be at Olga’s baby shower. I’m officially invited. It said: To Miss. Dayana F. J. Caballero. Lol. I got invited!!!!
Well Anyways I changed my layout again, it has the stars now, pretty cool!!! So let’s hope my plans go well. Take care everyone.
GOOD JOB ON PASSING HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS!!!!!
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Sunday, May 30, 2004

Im fed up of the way the john stillians treat me. The only person whos treated me as if im worth anythign is Mayra and Kristy!Everyone else seems to think im here for granted, no one ever calls me just to say hi, they only call when they want or need info on High School, which makes me feel useless and shitty. Liek all the times everyone says oh yeah Angela replaced you with Mai Kao, well you know how much that hurts, even though I say Im okay with that, Im not, Im really badly deeply hurt by that and its like you guys love to rub it in my face. Whenever I try to contact you people, you always have something important to do. Its as if you really dont care about what I do with me anymore. Maybe tis just that high school matured me adn you still dont udnerstand, maybe you'll understand then.
FUCK!!!
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Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Im bored so Im updating, lol. Kinda amazing, I just rather update xanga over this because no one really reads this anymore. Im talking to Lance right now, which I havent done in a really long while.
band award Night was last night, if you want to see pictures youre gonna have to ask me. It was a lot of fun, even though seniors had their last time performing with us. Kelly made me cry but I didnt until after I stopped hugging her because it was all I have to not cry so she doesnt cry harder. Then yeah I broke down crying after school but a lot of ppl comforted me. But that was fun.
Today was cool didnt have to go to school until 10am. I slpet past my alarm clock because I was so tired after last night. My arms hurt and all. My throat feels stripped. Lol. I screamed so loud for Kelly and Michelle. OKay, Angela, our Drum major next year will be Michelle, I dont think youll like her though, but I like her so yeah.
Well Imma go now, I want to update other things. Comments please.
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Monday, May 24, 2004

POINTLESS
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Friday, May 21, 2004

I se no point when no one here understands. Im sorry but please yeah...another break i think.
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Monday, May 17, 2004

I got my ear pierce and it hella hurts now, might be inffected(sp). I dunno., Im not the smartest person in the world. Lol. Kinda slow actually. So yeah two mroe days until I see Angela, I love oyu angela *muah* No one ever comes onto my site any more. Thank you sue for coming onto my xanga and commenting. Mucho love. Martin, who knows where he is at the moment, probably lost somewheres in the woods, maybe I should go looking for him. yeah, I should, whos coming?! yeah Im kinda crazy and still bitchy from yesturday. Okay I need to talk with Sue. Lol. I have a concert this weekend, and one on monday and one on tuesday, busy moth and week or whatever. I love the song on the radio, I bet angela knows who sings it, she hella knows who I love as a singer.
So who would I marry, angela?! Umm....Draco Malfoy, yup Malfoy or Potter, but not Radcliffe and Felton. Make sense?1 Tell me when u get it?1 Hey, angies what happend to RUPERT GRINT?!
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Friday, May 14, 2004

Okay so how was my day. Pretty much better than last couple of days. I voted for the drum major next year. Which is odd because its liek kelly isnt gonna be there anymore and I have to get sed to that. I gotten into this routine already, gonna be hard to break it out. Lol. But Ill do it. I talked with Elsabeth and the more I talk the more I feel better about my choice. Lol. Lol. I feel better about a whole lot of things. Lol. I cant wait til Wedenday when I see Angie. I cant wait til band wards!! I cant wait til stuff begins to end. But then it all scares me a lot. Im graduating hella soon, maybe too soon. Three more years!!!!!
So, Angie whod o you wanna marry?! Lol.
Is this enough. Mucho love>>day*day
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