Thursday, March 10, 2005

   Broken-File Blues
A couple of weeks ago, I was playing the Final Fantasy Anthology version of FFVI on my Playstation. But one day, when I went to play it, the Memory Card wouldn't let me access the file because it was "broken"! Now, "broken" by a computer's standards and by a human's standards are two different things altogether. By the computer's standards, if ONE TINY LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT VARIABLE is off, it gives up and won't access the file, NEVER MIND that the file is still playable and the player probably wouldn't notice any difference. As such, I'm looking to Cheat Devices to solve my problem, as a Checksum Bypass code can be entered to force the game to access the file. I've posted requests for such codes on numerous Cheat Device websites, but no one really seems to care. Oh, well. I guess that's just my lot in life.

Depressedly Yours,
Lord PsiGuy
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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

   Final Fantasy VII Second Quest
Whoa, whoa WHOA. Calm down everyone. There isn't REALLY a second quest in Final Fantasy VII. But, I have an interesting idea for one.

After the party defeats Safer Sephiroth and Holy destroys the Meteor, Holy goes on to erase Jenova from existance. Now, as we all (should) know, Jenova was controlling Sephiroth ever since the incident in Nibelheim. Without Jenova, something like this happens...

Cloud: Finally... It's over.

Sephiroth: Uuunnnngh...

Tifa: Cloud! Look out!

Sephiroth: ...Uuunngh...What...? Cloud? Tifa? ...Where am I? Where's Zack? ...Last thing I remember, I was reading about the Jenova project...but now...what IS this place? How long has it been?

Tifa: What in the world...?


So, the party explains to Sephiroth just what he's been doing over the past few years. Sephiroth, of course, is shocked. He nearly commits seppukyu to atone for his crimes, but, in one of those amazing displays of compassion that is so common in video games, Cloud and the rest of the party forgives Sephiroth, realizing that the true offender, Jenova, has already been punished. But then, an even stranger plot twist occurs...

Sephiroth: Cloud...thank you.

???: So...Jenova is dead...

Sephiroth: What the...Who are you?

???: I am called many things by many people...You may call me Smithy. I created Jenova to reshape your world to suit my desires. But, it seems it has failed. I have one choice left for your world...invasion.


So, Smithy (of Super Mario RPG fame) is invading the Planet, no doubt so he can set up weapons factories on it.

Sephiroth, of course, joins your party for the duration of the game, every bit as powerful as in Cloud's flashback. More so, in fact, as he is now at Lv. 75. He is, of course, equipped with the Masamune, and has the high stats from the flashback. He can also use Pale Horse and Super Nova as Limit Breaks. BUT...there's a catch. He's gonna NEED all this stuff to save your party's bacon early on in the quest, until your party members get enough new goodies to fend for themselves. Plus, the new enemies are so powerful, they are even a challenge for Sephiroth!

Other interesting features include the ability to equip the Black and White Materia, which grant Meteor and Holy, respectively. Sure, Meteor has a side effect of sapping 1/2 of your party's HP when used and Holy eats up your limit bar, but they each do 100,000+ HP of damage to the average enemy. I'd save them for bosses, though...Might wanna keep some Ether handy, however, as Meteor and Holy devour 600 and 500 MP, respecitvely.


Sure, there's some plot holes, but I'm sure it would work out in the end. Oh, and you get to fight Omega Weapon when in Smithy's underworld palace, Pandaemonium. ...How many disks would this take? 6? 7? Obviously, we'll never know, unless a Square Enix employee is somehow reading this and decides to drop a comment asking permission to use my idea (in which case I would GLADLY set up a correspondance to assist with the making of the expanded remake)...But, we all know that ain't gonna happen. A fan can dream, though, can't he? ...Speaking of dreams, maybe I'll have something other than a nightmare tonight. I gotta get to bed!


Sleeplessly,
Lord PsiGuy
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Sunday, January 16, 2005

   You're a mean one, Mr. Lich...
I just got done playing Final Fantasy I&II for GameBoy Advance. I never could figure out what a "Lich" was. I know it's undead, but that's it. I'm not sure what a "Catoblepas" is either. In Final Fantasy I and Final Fantasy II it looked like a member of the "Lizard" family but in Final Fantasy VIII it looked more like a "Behemoth" off-shoot. Did you know that Final Fantasy II for the NES and Final Fantasy II for the SNES are completely different? Weird, huh? Also, why do they call it "Final Fantasy", when they keep making sequels? Ambiguities and inconsistancies aside, though, I kinda liked Final Fantasy I&II. I prefer Tales of Symphonia myself, but still, it was pretty good. And yes, the title of this post was a deliberate parody of a certain Dr. Seuss book. If anyone figures out what a "Lich" or a "Catoblepas" is, drop the answer in the "Comments" box.

Finally and Fantastically yours,
Lord PsiGuy


P.S. In Final Fantasy, I named my Warrior Kratos, my Theif Yuan, my White Mage Martel, and my Black Mage Mithos. Clever, huh? And each class was strangely suited to their personalities, too.
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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

   What if...?
What if The Matrix was real? I mean, wouldn't that be creepy? I know it isn't, but still, the though that these MIB (Men In Black) types could show up at your door, arrest you on trumped-up charges, and then do the "belly-button-probe" thing to you? Or if they could "Agentize" anyone in the vicinity to get a better shot at you?

The issue isn't as one-sided as some might think. I mean SURE you couldn't actively HELP the machines, that would just be stupid. But then, if you choose to get "unplugged" you can't go back, and would have to sever all ties with this world. I'm not ready for that sort of thing. I guess I would just stay out of it. Still, I would politely ask the machines not to "Agentize" me or anyone I know. Oh, crud. I just lost my train of thought.

It's official. I have writer's block again.

Blockedly Yours,
Lord PsiGuy
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005

   Disambiguation
It has come to my attention that there are other people out on the web with the moniker "PsiGuy". Well, in such a case, I will be first to tell you that I am NOT the original PsiGuy. I THOUGHT I was when I came up with the name, but clearly there are many people out there with the same name.

Incidently, the name "Xanthor the Gnome King" is not as original as I once thought, either, as there are some people with that name.
By the way, my name is NOT Xanthor the Gnome King. Actually, it's a name I made up to poke fun at people who play MMORPGs (Massive Multiplayer Online RolePlaying Games) for so long that they begin to think they really ARE their character in the game and/or the game begins to take over their daily life. Observe:

Boss: Why weren't you at work the last few days? You never called in sick.

Employee: Sorry, but my Guild had a raid last night. You know how that is.

Boss: Guild...raid? Have you been playing one of those MMORPGs?

Employee: Look, its not a game! My Guild had a raid last night! We had to get rid of the Lv.80 Death Dragon.

Boss: ...You're fired.

Employee: What!? You can't fire me! I'm Xanthor the Gnome King! You can't fire Xanthor the Gnome King! This company will never survive without my magic!

Boss: Security!

Employee: You think mere Lv.2 Human Security Guards can defeat the mighty Xanthor, the Lv.40 Gnome King? I'll show you! INDIGNATION! What? Why isn't it working...maybe I don't have enough Mana Points...I'll try a cheaper spell...HOLY LANCE! Hey...OW...WHAT THE? How can Lv.2 Human Security Guards have such high stats? OW! OW! MY HIT POINTS!!!


...I suppose you can see how that would be unpleasant, and at the same time, hilarious. By the way, did you notice that I tend to digress a lot?

Back to the original topic, I'm not the original PsiGuy. In fact, go to any search engine, type in "PsiGuy", and my site won't show up ANYWHERE on the list. Weird, huh? Well, see ya!

Unoriginally,
Lord PsiGuy
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Sunday, January 2, 2005

   Writer's Block
Like the subject says, I have a bad case of writer's block today. Not a good thing when you're writing a fanfic. Or anything else for that matter.

As for my fanfic, it's not really a "traditional" fanfic. You ever read those "Never-ending Cheat" joke topics on video gaming message boards? Well, I took the liberty of writing one for Tales of Symphonia. I have over 30 pages done so far.

As you know (or should know), Never-ending Cheats feature numerous crossovers. Some of these crossovers include InuYasha, The Matrix, Harry Potter, Homestarrunner.com, The Legend of Zelda, MegaMan X, and of course, Star Wars. At one point, Kagura from InuYasha and Strong Sad from Homestarrunner.com were almost forced into not-so-holy matrimony.

I'll probably post again in a few days. I doubt anyone besides myself is ever gonna read this, but a guy can hope, right?

Yours Truly,
Lord PsiGuy
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