Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Waii!
I forgot. ^~^ I'm such a dimwit.

Christmas is this month. Duh. I work in the biggest fucking retail chain in the country, and I don't notice that.

.. so I have a grand total of four people I've actually bought anything for. And now i have no money 'cause of school in February, and my new addiction to Kareoke. (I know, I know. ~kicks self~)

Waiii!

I hate shopping. ;_; ~hides~

-Rayne
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Sunday, December 12, 2004

Xavier
I cged Xavier's character sketch. Hope it looks okay. I spent a lot of time on it, and I'm very happy with the way it turned out. :)


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Saturday, December 11, 2004

Since I'm in this mood
.. I'd love to write right now, but I can't.. seem to move into it, and I want to roleplay, so I'm just going to talk about other things I've been thinking of over the last while.

Firstly; I am amazed by the inticacies, the small perfect beauties that I see around me in my world. I am amazed by life, I am amazed by the breaths we're able to speak, the way my hands close around nature, the way your breath comes to a fog in front of your mouth, your heart can feel love, hate, and emotion.

I am packed in a world with so much emotion, that sometimes I can't.. handle all of it. The leaves on the trees are so green sometimes. Today I noticed how the branches curl up in perfect angles, as if reaching for something completely unreachable, something perfect. They twist around each other, a mess of tangles. Someone has carved their name into the bark. I wonder what it would feel like to have someone's name into your leg, and file this philosophy away for the next time I crumple up a piece of paper on an imperfect drawing and throw it away in anger.

The water around me isn't frozen. I feel bewhildered. In Ontario, this time of year, it was always cold. Christmas is so meaningless without my mother or family. It's the first year I'm without any of my family at all. Rob isn't with me; next year it will be harder. I'll be in Japan.

And working in a store makes me wonder if money is all that keeps this religious gathering here; I wonder why I am so bold as to celeberate something I don't really believe in.

I look out the window, and imagine a change that I think would make life more interesting. I wonder what the landscape would look like if all the powerlines were gone, and you could get a clear view of the sky. I wonder what it would feel like if the world filled with rain, and the skies all changed from blue, to purple, to some off shade of orange, or gold. Something different. Something... exciting. A change, a beautiful abstract mix of colour, a lovely twist on what is real.

My life isn't mundane. It's not just day to day going to work, coming home, and sleeping. No, it can't be. Because I write, and I draw, and I grow. Just like the world around us.

I love patterns. I want to feel change and heartbeats with vision, with a swift brushstroke, maybe paint. Maybe charcoal. I want some sort of unusual, different, big jump, some imagination, something.. new.

I want to kiss the sky, and I want to see what life is.

(I'm sorry for being odd.. but I gotta write this somewhere, or I'll burst.)

-Rayne

Ted Leo- Bridges, Squares
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Distractions and Other Wonderful things.
I've found a list of amazing bands that I need to find more music by.

I also nearly completed version one of my characters page. (It's up now, on Azale, you can look if you want. I've yet to draw Zeke. Boys are fucking hard to draw.)

Anyway. List!

-Joseph Arthur
-Midnight Movies (I can't find any of their stuff..)
-Ted Leo
-Pavement
-the ataris
-Razorlight
-VHS or BETA
-Frank Black Francis
-Magnet (wantwantwant...)
-The Datsuns
-Snow Patrol
-Macha
-The Killers (Somebody Told Me)
-the cure
-Story of the Year
-Yellowcard
-Get up Kids
-mum
-A Band Called Wendy

(.. in other news, I like Indie Rock and Emo music. Can you tell?..)

Not much else to say. I'm very happy with how this drawing of Ori turned out. It will be fun to cg.

Music: Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Maps
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Friday, December 10, 2004

Gwah.
Okay, I spent a very large amount of time on today's page. If you're lost so far, you might wanna read back or something, because next chapter is already written out, and it's very hard to follow if you don't pay attention.

In other news, I'm extremely happy with how my ice sprite is coming along. Wee. ^_^

I paid my deposit for school yesterday, which was awesomely cooly cool. I got my textbook, and I also got accepted, which means I start my TESL (Teaching English as a second language) course on February 14. Geeze, at this rate, I'll be gone before my friend Michelle is back from there.

Wouldn't that be grand?

Anyway, I'm actually gonna finish my character pages today (ahahaah! ha!) so I'm going to stop writing in this thing and reserve my extra time for role playing games. (and also drawnings.)

:)

-Rayne
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Wednesday, December 8, 2004

New page.
New page up. Tried a new style. Is it okay? I like it.

... thats it. (short enough?)

-Rayne
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Tuesday, December 7, 2004

Gaming..
I finally got back to playing D&D today, and it was AWESOME. I didn't actually update my comic yesterday (because I'm a bad person. Yes. Awful. Really.) but today I drew a picture of my character. Worked hard on it, too.

Also, not long ago, I was able to get my fanart page finished, too.

Just in the way of updates. I'm not terribly lazy.

I really need to finish those character sketches. And then I need to ink and cg them. All I have started are Ori, Terumi and one of Zeke that I can't even find. And I think I should redraw the one of Terumi.

Oh. I got my student loan! So I'll be enrolling in those TESL classes soon. Then I'll be a teacher. Hard to believe, hunh?

G'day then.

-Rayne
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Saturday, December 4, 2004

Shameless self promotion!
(ignore below if this is stupid. :P)

votevotevotevotevotevotevote! Wahh! I've dropped in the ranks again..

:(

Prolly cause my comics have been so late lately.. meep. But vote anyway.. pleeeaasee?

I also have a comment bar at the bottom of the comic now.. so if you give me suggestions or comments, I can actually use them..

~whistles~

Anyway. Last night was weird. We had to do all sorts of extra shit because someone from our department called in. Then we had to go do another department. Then we had to clean up our aisles not after the customers, but after the daycrew who completely fucked them up.

Quick question.

These are TWO shapes:

o []

Right. So. Are they the same?

NO! They are TWO shapes! Two! One does not go where the other goes! One is DIFFERENT!

Now, we learn this important lesson in kindergarden, but for some reason, the fucking dimwits who work dayshift in my isle still can't understand how granola bars and peanuts are not the same thing. Our department calls this stuffing the modulars. I call it Being a goddamned idiot.

Somehow we finished. It was so strange. God, I can't believe how bizarre that was. And I'm not tired! I should be. Goddamn. I thought I was gonna shove those fucking 'Chunky Chicken' cans up the ...

But I didn't. I went for Breakfast.

...Denny's isn't that good, you know.

Moving on. I finally got my health card. Which means I'm able to get health care in BC. Which is good. ~thumbs up~ Cause I haven't gotten that since I left Ontario, four years ago. And I need a new puffer, since currently, an asthma attack goes on until I pass out, and then I wake up again feeling ill with a headache. I really want my meds back.

Wrote a small poem. Forgive it if it's hard to understand.

In Faith

Departure from this plain
makes me wonder
where my existance was true
whether love was a lie
whether my life was fake
or was simply stolen

Through crimson and blood
I can now see
that I am smaller than I
used to be
Strengths have passed on
My mind is obscure
I touch your fingers
but cannot endure

I have no wishes
but for simple things
I ask for nothing
but peace
Like a rabbit,
I am attacked
For I am prey to predators
Who care not
that I will not strike back

So I lay here now
Eyes glazed like ice
To see your siloette
Fading away from mine

I try to smile
But it fails again
I trusted you
But you weren't my friend


....

It was different in my head.. Maybe I just wanted to get the rabbit metaphore worked somehow..

...

Sorry. I don't normally publish my poetry. It's not usually actually balanced. It's usually a jumbled mess of nonsense that my english teachers used to call 'genius' because they didn't realise I was just fucking with their heads.

Jello!

The mass the moves
Like a fork or glove
Hallow, hello, glue!

Kiss the pigeon
he likes your eyeballs
You'd eat him, but it's illegal

You smell like chicken

etc etc...

I've rambled long enough. Thanks for putting up with this if you did. :)

-Rayne


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Friday, December 3, 2004

Update.
For anyone interested (and thanks for being interested!) that picture of the girl right above my text is actually a link to my comic.

If that's hard to find, the url is http://azale.keenspace.com

Thank you so much for all the nice things you guys said. It means a lot to me. I even caught up to my updates. Two new pages are up since yesterday.

...

Yay!

So thank you. I think that since it's the weekend now, I'll actually start to work on the character pages.

<3

-Rayne
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Thursday, December 2, 2004

Ups and Downs
..

I'm entirely depressed. I'm sorry to the whole whopping two people who read my comic for not updating, but I just can't seem to do it.

I recieved some seriously uncalled for and mean critism today. It was.. really fucking harsh.

(Basically stating that I'm not a good enough artist to work on commission; I was seriously knocked down through a lot of verbal abuse that I didn't even know how to answer.)

Anyway.. this.. might be completely retarded, but it's left me a bit sore. I mean, maybe my art isn't good enough. I know I get a big head sometimes. I like to draw, and I want to get better. But I also want to develop my own style, so I can't just follow everyone else and learn all the proper things that go through.

...it made me think too much. It really hurt a lot. And I can't draw,because I hate ever one of the six pages I've attempted to put together in the last couple of days.

I'm trying, but I might not have anything up for a while. I wish people would stop judging my things. If they don't want to buy it, don't hassle me to draw something for a month that I've blatantly said I didn't want to draw. I wouldn't have even brought up the commission shit otherwise.

.. fuck.

.. I haven't really been getting any feedback on any of my posts lately either, so I.. think I might be whining more than I mean to.

I'm not asking for approval or anything, I just want to be left to stray into the abstract, defy physics a little, and play with my lines and art.

..but right now I'm hella depressed. I can't believe he said it. It hurts really bad.

(I'm keeping with my comic. I just don't know why. Nobody reads the fucking thing. Sorry, I'm wrong, like, four people read it, once in a while, maybe, if there's nothing else to do.

..see? Bitter. Too bitter. I'm sorry.)

-Rayne
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