Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Cher is your deity.
Sorry. Chirs King and I now have a "Cher Cult" Chris is here favorite geisha.
A bunch of kids includeing Gay Freddy Kruger was picking on my freind Chance today. That poor kid has way too much stress on him. He says his mother's going to ground him for a month for haveing a C.
Quinton says I should break up with Chris...
I'm so tired...I've not been eating right...so I have been basically running on empty all the time. I tried calling Tribal last night but it said the number was dialed wrong o_0
I finsihed that picture of Alaina I drew. I'm going to put it here sometime in the next two weeks. I have to get Chris to scan it for me and save it to a disk. So that'll take a while. I also want to burn Chris K. all of Love Hina and Chance .//Hack Legend of the Twilight.
Busy,busy.
This guy is being a dick to my freind. His name is Cory and I hate him, because he's annoying. He always tries to copy her and be like her. He even steals the music she listens to. For example:
Back in the day Cory used to worship "new" Green Day. When Casey said she didn't like it he said he hated it too.
I hate it when people copy me.
Like right after I had that Sir Rosiel lay out I've had since I've been here, tons of people started to use it. It angered me so much.
So, whats everyone's favorite musical style and favorite band/song?
Kitten Loves You
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Something that makes me cry. It was a PM from Tyrell from last year. I always look at it when I'm feeling down or scared.
Look, you know, life is hard, obviously. Look at things in general. You arent the only person who has or whom will ever go through these things. True just because your going through it it doesnt make it right but you have to fight. Try harder, until your dead. You must if you really want to survive in the world. You are dead, but not 6ft into the ground, then and only then are you truly dead. Giving up really does let the world win..you dont want that do you? I dont. Hell if you came here, id look forward to it.lol. Im sorry I havent been getting your calls latley. Ive been getting work out the ass. A ten page paper, a three page paper, a poster done, summaries, colledge shit. So stressful. Then I have my family getting on my fucking nerves, They cuss they fuss, they do drugs they do this and that...its very agrivating. I havent given up yet though. Most of my friends say if they went through half the shit Id go through they would have killed themselves already....You know, you really shouldnt give a fuck what people say or do or think. It doesnt really matter because in the end you will be there with yourself and God. Thats it... Your friends can only be with you but so long. Your lover wont ALWAYS be there. They can try but they wont fully succeed. You need to find someone that can understand you. Im not going to say im going exactly what your going through but im going through something simular. If you do care about me, promise me that you wont give up on life, that you will finish school, and keep going on with your life. Dont stop for people unless there worth it. Im sorry to hear about Chris....-_- If you get this I do want you to try and call me. Im so sorry I havent been answering the phone, I truly have goten so much work that I want to go to sleep as soon as I go home. I feel bad for you, but in the end it will make you stronger. Honestly, who do you think I have other than God? Eric? He is my friend, a good one, but when they day ends he can only be there but so much. People are out for self gain whether you realize it or not. People are your friends because they need people to talk to and shoulders to lean on...everything is for a reason, even friendships. Dont kill yourself, these people arent worth that. Do you think they are? I hope not..lol. Seriously, just dont give up, thats the most I can say. My whole mind set has changed.. I was worried about college, worried about school..people, after awhile it builds to a point where it doesnt matter anymore.. Happiness is the true goal of life. Eternal happiness and were all trying to get there. I understand what you mean when you say " Im alone" " I have no one" Do you realize when your alone...it is truly thee worst thing, but it is truly the best thing that can happen to you to make you a stronger person. Its just like a blind person. When you think about it no one else can feel there pain. THEY CANT SEE. That my friend, is true lonlyness, and they dont give up..do they? They keep going. You can see, but you cant feel....

Youve felt so much pain that your insides are becoming dead. You dont want to become like me, Im already dead.... Im beging you to just dont give up, think about people who have aids, cancers and stuff..they arent giving up...So dont you. If you give up...honestly....dont talk to me anymore. I dont want to be around weak people. And I dont think your weak. Dont dissapoint me,......I believe in you. Call me....peace out. ( Im in school... )

I'm crying right now....
God I miss him.
I want to talk to him...
Even if I like another guy, even if I am in love with someone else. It was always Tyrell. He's one of my best freinds. And I've never met him before. I alwyas think of that PM whenever I feel like I do now.

Other wise I feel like crap. I went to a few sites yesterday and signed some GBs. Well, so far I've been called "natzi, stupid child...etc." but the bad things I expect it anymore. I'm a bitch, thats opinonated, but I believe i'm right. I didn't know that the guy "amerill" poem was about his dead freind who comitted suicide. It's just that...geeeez people are lame.
I really don't know if I can handle this site's immaturity...
And the fact he said I was full of shitt....
childish imp.
But is everyone good?
Kitten
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Monday, March 13, 2006

What exists and doesn't exist and is also something and nothing at the same time?
The answer is: Cher.
I'm depressed extremly right now...
The Nine inch Nails concert is tonight and I don't get to go....I feel like crying over that.
You may think it's silly, but Trent Reznor...is like a god to me...I love him. I adore his every breath, his every grace. I just wanted to see him in person, but...guess that won't happen..
My freind Alaina passed away. I'm haveing a hard time with it, because she was like an older sister to me...I have all of her drawings and all of her stuffed animals she made me....I'm drawing a picture of her (anime styled) and I think I'll try to scan it and get it up...
I might be going to a hockey game with Chris Friday. It'll be me, JohnAustin (Cabelle00), Luke (my lil bro Gir00), and him. Fun I guess.
My birthday is comeing up soon...I'm going to be 17....I don't care. It's nothing special...
Sorry I'm just depressed...
It's not been a good day.
SOLID SNAKE IS MINE
Kitten

Edit:
Look.
I'm so sick of seeing all these "dark" people that try to act poetic and want attention. I'm not saying you shouldn't be depressed, but christ stop trying to act like your sniveling problems are the end of the world!
It may be the end of yours, but it won't be the end of everyone elses...
And if you want to slit your wrists so bad make sure to not cut them sideways for all I care.
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Friday, March 10, 2006

Horray for the weekend!
Except for the fact that I'm going to play DDR while on my period! ><
Quinton is really starting to show how intrested he is in me...it's really sweet...I just want to get to know him better, but I don't know how....
I gave him my number so now he can call...
Chris and I still haven't broke up yet...I'm going to wait it out and see what happens..thanks to all of you who gave me advice!! It was helpful!
Other than that...Nothing much going on besides my dad said I was odd and needed help..it made me want to cry...
let's just say he used a stronger word than odd when he said it to me...
So, have a good weekend and love all of ya'll!
Chris King is still my favorite Geisha!!
SOLID SNAKE IS MINE
Kitten
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Thursday, March 9, 2006

   Good Feelings, Bad feelings....
Chirs King is the greatest geisha ever! Hahaha, sorry, but in biology today, me Chris (king, not the guy I’m dateing), and Chance were sitting in our seats chatting to each other about stuff. Chance picks up my book and starts to read it, and we start talking about Geishas. Chance asked me if I wanted to be a Geisha, and I said no, but Chris does. It was really funny because when we were walking to lunch, and I was going to go up to the library I told him,
“Don’t forget that you’re the greatest geisha ever Chris! Don’t listen to anyone who tries to tell you other wise. Take these words and heed them.”
He turns around and says “Yeah I know I am and don’t you forget it!”
Now about the guy I’m dateing named Chris…..
We are probably about to break…our relationship has little left in it….I’m giving him one more chance this Saturday and he said if I still felt like I have been then I could break it off with him then and there. And he’s never talk to me again.
But in other news, I talked to Quinton today. I kept asking him when he was going to tell me if he liked me or not. He said “ I will soon.”, So, at the end of class we walked out of the hall together and started walking and talking….and he handed me this note and said see you later like always. I looked at the note and it said “If you can read this then you’ll know my answer.” At the very top there was some small scribbly backwards writing. Chance read it off to me and it said, “I like you.”
I went with Amanda yesterday when she got her tattoo done. It was awesome….It’s a wolfs paw inside a crescent moon. The guy who did it was cool too. Then we went to Burger King and then went shopping.
So, how is everyone!!! ^^
Kitten
Ps. I'm scared...I don't know what I'd do without Chris, but then again I want to go out with Quinton...what should I do?
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Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Kinda in a bad mood...
I wasn't feeling well last night so I ended up sleeping for about 14 hours...
from 6pm to 7:30 am.
I'm going after school with my darling Amanda to see her get her tatoos done!! YAY!
I told Quinton that I liked him today and that I wanted to know if he liked me back (well...I know it sounds childish, but i wanna know!!) Now he's just teaseing me and said he'll tell me later. Maybe he doesn't like me....
Chris and I are haveing another "falling out"...so I'm in a bad mood....
I hate men...And congrats to Frogger91 on her modeling career!! HORRAY!! Let's just hope she takes hers further than I took mine.
In other news, my little brother has tonsilitis...He's out of school till Friday...
Well, love all of you!!!
SOLID SNAKE IS MINE
Kitten
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Tuesday, March 7, 2006

i actually got some pudding yesterday!!! Yay!
Currently Listening to: Junior Senior "Move Your Feet"
Currently Reading: Memoirs of a Geisha
Currently Contemplateing: The idiotices of America's youth

I sound so old when I write the word "youth". My counslers were right I suppose. I am wise beyond my years. This was only the result of studying diffrent things like religions, and the like.

But anyways, don't you think America's youth is a little too over dramatic? With screennames like emopunkchick666 and wristcutter? Everyone's so over populated in their own murky depression, that it's become sort of like a lifestyle. And seemingly all these kids are running around and doing things like exploiting the Pagan religion. It's become something that depressed teenage goth wannabes exploit at school to make themselves look powerful and cool. Or they sit at home on the weekend praticeing envoking things that are far beyond their comprehension. Someday something that they never even knew exisited will be summoned and might even destroy them. If not they'll become possesed or even worse things may happen.

If theres one thing I can ensure anyone it's that demons DO exist and they can be summoned to earth. But it's not like all that cool shit you see on anime, and there are no good demons. Demons are exactly as described in the bible, and basically seem to exist to suck the life away of anyone who summons them or gives them a reason to appear. The christian god exists along with the others and is as wrathful as told in the bible, but also forgiveing as well.

Kids need to seriously be more like TribalofChaos. She's mature, has a head on her shoulders, and has a reason to be depressed, unlike most others. I mean it's like Kevin. He has a reason to be depressed, but most of it seems to spawn from his family situations. If I were him and had his family, I'd try to distance myself as far as possible from them, because they'll just drag him down with them. The only reason he won't move out though, is because he'll be lonely. This is why I don't like my sister or much of my family. They always try to drag me down with them. I have a goal to be diffrent than them. I'm going to have the life I had when I was kid. I'm going to buy back my family's old house and start my own family there. I'm going to rebuild my tree swing and swing it. I'm also going to see if the man is still there beside the tree and maybe my own children will see him as well.

As, long as I hold onto this, I won' falter. My kids won't have to lead the life I'm liveing now. If I don't get my old house back, I'm going to Japan, and try to scrape together a life there.

I'm going to go play Drakkenguard now, so toodles.

SOLID SNAKE IS MINE
Kitten

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Monday, March 6, 2006

   Give me pudding or give me death.
Hey....
I had a good weekend!!! John Austin spent the night with us and we had an awesome time! We went to Walmart and had a lot of fun! We also went to the mall, played DDR and went to the flea market!
The only thing that wasn't good was Chris...he's really starting to bore me and he keeps asking for BJs, even though we agreed no more sex.
I got a new art book so now maybe I'll have a bit more initiative to draw.
Well, other than that...this girl named punkemochick666 is annoying me...what a stupid name.
Other than that....I'm not so mad at Hinata. At least she had the balls to come and confront me about the accuastions I made. She maybe trying to be goth (gayness), but...young kids need a place to belong I guess....
Love all of you!!!
Yay to Hinaru for getting unsick!!!
If anyone has any art requests I can probably take some.
SOLID SNAKE IS MINE
Kitten
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Friday, March 3, 2006

post from this morning
It's 7 in the morning and I'm awake like everyday. It's sorta weird to be typeing at this early in the morning, but my typeing isn't half bad. I'm spelling more words right than when I'm actually awake!!!lol.

This is like my everyday ritual. I get up, get dressed, wake everyone else up, wake them up again, usually another time, and then turn my laptop and listen to music before I go to school.

I got my English homework done last night. I was alone for quite a long time, so I found a tape player and listen to some of my old tapes that had a lot of unknown material on it. It actually has the cyborg 009 theme, a whole episode of Folly Colly (on a casette tape. I taped it so I could listen to anime while at school. Dedicated or what?), "The Valley of the Shadow of Death" and another Marylin Manson song, "Popular"(can't remember the artist, but this actually is one of my favorite random songs),Lake of Fire (Nirvana), and a random Metallica song.

I haven't listened to Skinny Puppy in a while so, I'm listening to them.

I didn't get to talk to Tyrell today. I feel bad. I tried to call, but he wasn't there. He must've been moveing stuff into his house. He was moveing out today, but who knows....

This Hinata Karayetsu thing....i'm not really her freind or anything. She came by and signed my GB, because she liked MGS, but never came back and commented on me. I commented a couple of times on her, but....eh no response. She really only a retarded 13 year old, who thinks she's "gothic", but then again she's not. Gothic people are lame anyways...well most of em. I perfer my music on the metal side (it sounds like I'm talking about flipping eggs ^^'''')but then again I like pop music like, Kelly Clarkson (ok I admitted it, now stop laughing!!!! ><), Gwen, and no Doubt, Maddona. I also like rap like Ludacris and Three-six Maffia. Techno is good and so is dance like Junior Senior, 4 strings, and Dj Naoki. But I LOVE the jrock *sighs* Shuuuuuuuuuunnnnn......
But the reason I don't like her is because there are so many blacks that are the most awesome people you'll ever meet, and she said she was prejudiced. It's not the color of your skin, it's your attitude. People like Tyrell rock FUCKIN HARD!!!! People just don't need to look at the color of skin and look more at what the person is like.
The only reason I noticed anything is because I go and read her posts because she's amuseing....she thinks she's in love, but it seems more like lust to me. I was in serious love at that age. It was to the point that it was the kind of love where I would say "What would happen if I left you?" and Bones would say, "I would tear my heart out and give it you." The "I would die for you if you went away" and after he died I tried many times to die. But I never did, so that's why I'm here for some reason...I have a purpose. I just have to find what it is and fufill it. I just think the way she talks about herself is way too over-dramatic. She's trying so hard to fit this stereotype, and she's the epitome of the attention wanting teen. I used to be that way, but I changed, trying to be gothic and all. If you really want to be gothic that bad than just wear black clothes and say you aren't. I do wear just about all black, but I also like colors (they just make me look ghastly, because I'm pale). I like other places to get clothes beside Hottopic, like Hollister and Rave.

But I must leave off, so everyone have a good one!!!!!! I love all of you!!!!
SOLID SNAKE IS MINE
Kitten

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Thursday, March 2, 2006

Ahhhhhhhhh *sighs*
First to get the anger out of the way..
Hinata Kareytsu (also on site xXxTheBossxXx) is a mother fucking racist!!! I hated her at first, but I not just hate her more than ever. Go look at her sites and let her know that we vetran otaku's don't value that kinda stuff!!!
but otherwise I've been haveing a pretty good day. The guy that I like found out that I like him...but I won't date him. Chris has done too much for me and theres only one other guy I'd date..and he lives a bit of a ways...He's also my friends crush and he hates her.....
But ermmmmm....yeah about it....
I don't like the fact that my mom never listens to me.....
SOLID SNAKE IS MINE
Kitten
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