Wednesday, May 18, 2005

other post starting with the old stuff first the new one for today at bottom
Life with out the net and home phone is such a bore. I'm going to post all this as soon as possible, but I have no clue when that will be. *sigh*
Well today is monday. I went to the docs. They said they had the results for my papsmear in.... so there was something a bit abnormalk, but they couldn't determine what it was, so it's nothing major. They also had my iron count in as well. It's very low, the doctor said it was dangerous for me to be liek this so she perscribed me some liquid iron (instead of the iron pills), because vitamins just weren't cutting it for how low my blood count is. Once again, Lynnsey barely escapes death and lives. She said she was suprised that it hadn't started to effect my heart yet. It has been. i haven't told anyone, but I've been haveing a lot of pains in my chest and a hard time breathing sometimes. In fact my chest hurts right now and it feels as if it's hurting my back as well. I just didn't want to get it checked out. I don't want to know what it is.
I also am going to therapist. I haven't been as happy as looks and words describe lately. In fact, I've been crying a lot. I just don't feel liek telling anyone becauser it's so embaressing..over such stupid things too. Like the lack of Chara in my life. I know she doesn't care, so I don't even bring up my problems anymore, I do listen to hers though. I have found it futile to try to get Chara to listen to anything I want to talk about, unless it has something to do with her boyfreind, or something she wants to talk of, like stuff about her. I know she didn't cancel out comeing over to sleep over at my house because she had to babysit. i know it was because Kevin was there and probably because Jenny and Shaun was over here as well. Well that is fine. She could have told me the truth. Espically if she didn't even wanna come over or anything. it offends me and all and sure it makes me depressed, but it's better to tell me about these things. But I know. That all of this is not her fault. A lot of it is mine. for not calling. But I knew it was futile. I liek the word futile. I don't know why though......hmmmmm....
My mom (Brandy) came in and freaked out when she heard about my iron count. She said that the pills were so nasty that when you opened the bottle you felt like vomiting, so the liquid has to be worse or equal. Yay.
Well, the consueling is a dumb idea I think, but the doc knows her stuff. She asked my mom if she would leave the room. And the she asked me what was the matter. I told her nothing and she said I didn't look too happy. Then she started asking me all these questions and basically it all spilled out. I told her about the thing that I have yet to tell Chara. I told her a lot, but yet I held back on some things. I just feel as if I can't trust people. I know I shouldn't feel that way about people, espically people that I know are trying to help me, but I just get so paranoid......
Well, other than that, I have discovered the eldery do not appricate loud music from a teenager that looks like a little punk. Espically if the music happens to be Dragonforce or Rhapsody.
OMG!!!! My friend Sky is the radest! She got me a plushie of ....GIR!!!! She said she knew I had been feeling bad, that she could just feel it, because of my behavoir was off-ish. And she said she found Gir plushies and they were on sale, so she get me one to help me feel better! If you don't know by now I absolutely adore stuffed animals! I hope Westley will get me one. Chris gave me a couple, a bear which I deemed Oh-uh Hotdog and a kitty which is blue that I named Hudson....I told you guys a long time about that. Just for the recodr because I know you probably will read this Westley, I like stuffed cats a lot. But you don't have to get me anything....
I feel a lot better, except for the fact that I am kinda tired....and thirsty.

Yay the fun never ends does it? I just went to Walmart and felt crappy the whole entire time I was there. All I heard was "Gotta get Shaun something for his birthday....." from Brandy. She didn't get me anything for my birthday ;___; She gotta me a 20 gift card for christmas and she got her kids all this stuff. Now I gotta find some money to get her phone fixed because somehow the stupid inernet (Kaaza) gave me some fucking hidden charges and thats why the phone all screwed up. I have to get 36 bucks and I have no job and I have asked my parents who are pending. They aren't mad at me or anything, but it was supposed to be credited (no charge at all, because i am a minor and it was a hidden charge, because nothing ever poped up on my compy) and they screwed up. That is why I have no phone or net. And it's killing me because I get to talk to none of my freinds now. Except if I use the cell. It's going to be even worse up at my parents...no net at all. Maybe I'll have to resort to walking a few dozen miles to the library to post. Gawd, I wanna see Westley....but beh. My mom's gone with the phone right now.

I feel liek I am about to die. I think I should just starve myself and see how close I can get to death, maybe even die. I dunno. I just feel liek seeing how close I can get, maybe even to prove to myself that I'm not as weak as I think. I don't need food. It make you fat and ugly. And I'm tired of being the 'ugly' girl. I know I am not ugly in Westley's eyes. And thats all that should matter right? I just wanna feel liek I'm pretty. I know I'm bi-sexual, but when we talk about all these girls being pretty, and he metions the ones that he lieks, I have to compare myself to them. Liek this girl Megan. I know he lieks her and he thinks she's hott. I mean hell, who wouldn't? She's sexxy, has a nice body, and a big pair of boobs to top it off..... I may have big titts, but it's not gonna be enough..... I just feel liek the ugly 'goth' girl. The pale girl, clad in black 'garb' that I only think is cool. My boyfreind thinks I wear the most retarded clothes probably, because my color scale is so limited. He said black and blue look ugly together and those are the only two colors I basically wear. It made me feel liek shitt, and I felt liek going over and crying in a corner. I know why people classify me as 'goth' now. Because I guess I am what they call me. I write poetry, play games, dress in dark colors, love spikey objects, and seemed to be moderately depressed. Toping it all off I am a female, which instantly makes me incomparble to the regular normal dressing girls, such as Megan and those 'hott' chicks at church. But I'm not goth, I'm just plain ole Lynnsey. Non-christian, stupid girl, straight F student, black dressing, anime loveing, stupid Lynnsey. But I know he loves me. I know Bones loved me too. He would always say that there was never a girl that could compare to me. All the masses were idiotic and stupid, and the girls were the worst part of it. Whenever we saw a girl in public, he would snarl saying that they shouldn't even be in my presence, because dare they could ever compare to his Kitten. But that was so mean to say, because it would really hurt some girls feelings. So, I made him stop doing it. But we would always go out and look at guys together. For some reason I never minded it when he though guys were hott. He had good choice. But when I'm alone with Westley, and he's not talking about some other girl he thinks is hott, he makes me feel liek the prettiest person in the world. He says I am the prettiest or something liek that, but I know he lies for I am what he hates. I dress in black 'garb' and stuff of that sort. And he hates girls like that. Sometimes I just don't see how anyone can like a normal dressing girl. In fact now that I think of it, Megan in my eyes is not too hott. But sheeeesh my freind Heather is!! ^____^ So, is Sam and Michelle...and gawd Selena!!! *drools* and they are all of kinda of goth/punk dressing. I just can't stand all this plain clothes on girls. Espically...icky American Eagle and other preppy crap. I guess the only girls I like are alternative girls.....someone needs to make me a banner that says that.....plus normal dressing girls are such a bore. They never have anything intresting to talk of. Westley is one of the only guys that dress normaly that looks good, but then again I think Westley looks better than anyone, even I daresay Johnny Depp!! 0O0 Westley always reminds me of a big strong lumberjack. And I couldn't imagine him any other way. My baby.....I love him so muuuuuuch......

He tries so hard to be nice to me, when there are so many things he can say about me and the things I love. Well he does make fun of some anime and My chemical Romance and Nirvana and NIN and some other crap. I try not to make fun of anything he likes tho. Because there isn't much I dislike about him. Just well......sometimes he can be a bit too harsh about somethings. And it hurts my feelings, but I get over it. I think thats gonna happen with anyone tho. He's just the sexiest man tho.....and his legs are muscular and really sexxy.....and he's so huggable and strong! ^^ And when you hug him, he's all warm....and cuddling with him is the best! I don't care if i never get any sexx from him.....I would just be content with cuddling. I love to tease him about how he won't give me any, because for one thing it's waaaaaay too soon and he wants to wait until after he gets married to do anything liek that. I love him more than anything or anyone that I have come to love in forever. If all I had was him, I would be perfectly content to throw away everything else. Except for my friends. Because thats just wrong to do that. Material objects though.....anime collection, computer, etc. Even my Playstation 2....my most prized possesion...because I love my PS2........sooooooo much that it hurts me inside j/k. lol. It took a lot for me to get that PS2. Leaveing flyers for it and a ton of begging. Oh the begging wasn't even funny. I got down on my knees and kissed the floor that PS2 was on after I got it. It tasted liek x-mas. and PS2 box goodness.

Ahhh Tuesdays. The last full day of school. I guess thats good and all, because I can sleep all I want (or at least until mum gets me out of bed) *sigh* Todays been ok. Just tired and sad....thats all I seem to feel anymore basically. I tried to cut myself earlier, but thought stupidly that someone was going to see it, so I just kept bashing the knife into my skin until it got raw and red, but not bleeding. Thats more painful anyways, to me at least and I feel as if I should be punishing myself for something. That and feeling ugly again. I saw Megan Mitchell in my class of science. Aggggh let me tell you the story Megan Mitchell.
She is nothing more than a bitch. A prepy bitch that thinks she knows Nirvana and some other bands liek ACDC. And she also supposedly loves Star Wars, but makes fun of the other people that watch it. She's quite the popular bitch too. Hott by normal standards, and has big boobs that look liek they would poke your eyes out. Needless to say, not gothic and not even a person to hang out with the people I hang out with (the 'werid, gothic, punk' kids). More like a person who loves to bring others down. She loves to make fun of the fact that she knows at least 2 of us used to cut ourselves (Sky and myself) and LOVES to make fun of Sky and me in general...more like Heather, Jeff, Sky, and I. We all sit together in creative writting and Megan's table sits behind ours. So, needless to say she catches tid bits of what we talk about, write about, and do in general. I dispise her. She thinks she knows how it feels to be in pain. I can show her pain. She'll be thinking about what red skirt will match the color of the blood on her body after I get done with her. grrrrrrrrrrr. But it's not the fact that she makes fun of me (of course it hurts my feelings and all...in fact theres been a night where all I did was sit and cry, because of something mean she said to me at school about a very touchy subject...)but it's more like she says crap about my friends. My friends and I have all laughed at the fact that they call us gothic wrist cutters. For the one fact is the only person who wears black almost all of the time is me and she is refering to our whole group of people. And that there are no scars on our wrists. They all think they are so smart. Jeff and I were discussing utiliterinaism and they asked us what it was. We had a good larf.
But anyways so she walks into class , and I'm sitting with West and a couple of his freinds, and I say
" arrrrrrgh I hate her so much!! >< >< >< >< >< ><"
so Megan (other Megan that is nice who I am sitting with) asks who she is and so I tell her. Westley just says
" I don't know her, but she is hott"
So, in my mind I am liek "gaggaggaggaggaggaggaggaggaggaggag" but all I say is no she isn't. And Westley says there is no fact dyneing it and Zack also agrees with him. Sorry folks, but I'm not to the whole artifical, superficial, stupid, look. He may be, but I am not. Ick. Bad choice in women he has. Why do people have to be so shallow?
Another thing is the fact that all the girls he likes look 'normal' so I don't see how I can be so sexxy clad in my black garb. It makes me feel liek I always have to compare myself to stupid Megan Mitchell. I know most guys think she is the hottest thing since gay came to gay town, but still....it just hurts to hear it said by the person you love more than anything, espically since it's the person that makes school a liveing hell for you in your favorite class who he thinks is hott. I don't really dress anything special that makes my boobs stick out or anything. My hairs always a mess, my clothes are always baggy, and my pants look like they were meant for a person twice my size. My boobs also sag, because my bras just don't support them, because they are a bit too big for the bra size. They aren't all perky like Megan Mitchells. I'm pretty grungy looking. I do wear a little make up tho, but I don't plaster it on my face like most people do. I wish someone would say I'm hotter than Megan so I could laugh.
But anyways my heart still hurts and my feelings feel like I want to die, but hey...I will survive.
Today was the last full day of school tho. Next 2 days are exams and they are half days. Which I might get to go home with Westley during! ^_^ yay for that. Do you guys think I should dress all prepy...I wonder if it would make him happier.
But thats not the point of that paragraph > I want to dye my hair Skye Blue and Black this summer. and maybe cut it short in parts and spike it up into a mohawk. Not to be punk or anything...I don't really listen to that much punk. i want to straighten it out too. Just to see if Westley will still love me...and because I want to do it. Blue is such an awesome color....or Orange and black....maybe.....

If I do I will get pics somehow......

I think Michelle, Selena, Chara, and Sam are the hottest girls to grace the earth. *drooooooooool*

I think one of the coolest song titles are "Triple Corpse Hammer Blow" (Children of Bodom!! ALEXI!!!! ^___^) and also " Engil" ( Rammstein) and "Awakeing the Centuries" (Haggard). West told me today that Children of Bodom came out with a new album! I want to hear all their old stuff though before I start listening to the new really. I also need to find a copy of Insestcide and Unplugged in New York for my Nirvana collection and a few other micellanous things here and there. But before I buy anything, I want to get Westley an Aqua Teen Hunger Force shirt. I want one too, but I want to get him something before I get myself something more. He desrves it. I wonder what kind of shirts Panzerchrist has.....(I am listening to the right now and they are definetly among my top 10 favorite bands)
I think I'm going to go for a nap...... I'm tired, sad, and I feel so drained. All I want is someone to talk too. Id on't really have many freinds outside of the net that I keep up with anymore....mainly because I lost their #s or they never call me. blargh....

My top ten favorite bands

1. Nirvana
2. Cannibal Corpse
3. Korn
4. Nightwish
5. Iron Maiden
6. Nazrreth
7. Children of Bodom
8. X-Japan


Well guys that was yesterday and I never finished it. But anyways, my day was great how about yours? School is almost and the phone got turned back on!! ^__^ Now all I gotta do is find out what I'll be doing tomorrow and whats going on with everything....only bad thing is I started my period like a second ago. Glad it wasn't a couple of hours ago, because the blood would have been all over someone's finger LOL!!! XD Anyways, I'm glad all of you missed me. I love you too Yume! huggle! I got a little action today and I had romantic and fun time. I also kinda massaged West's shoulders and neck...he's really tense!!! ^_^' Cuddling with him is the best thing in the world. And even when he tickles me I love it except for the fact that he can tickle me anywhere and I'm embarrassed by how I laugh....____-' I chased him into the liveing room and it was fun untill I hurt my back...>< But Sky was kinda depressed at school today, because I left with Westley....oh well.... And today was the last I'll probably ever see Trevor again!! NOOOOOOO!!! ;________________________________________; Well huggles to all! I have a lot to catch up so see you all laters!!
xXx Westley's Kitten xXx





What FF7: Advent Children Character Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.


it's my male and femal awnswers.
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I MISSED YOU PEOPLE!!!!
I missed all of you, but today I will offically be back and have a long post that I wrote while offline, because I was bored, so I'll update later. Just came by to say hello and I love all of you espically all you sexxy chicks! points at Michelle and Selena. Miss you all back later and I love my Westley!!!!!! ^____^
xXx Westley's Kitten xXx
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Monday, May 9, 2005

   No phone line so i am sad.
Sorry for the wait for a post. My net has been oblitarated for there is no more phone , because it is cut off. ;____; So, I am at school during class....
Today has been a bit sad for me. I wore a skirt and did my hair and all Westley cold say was it looked odd at first. He was tired so he wasn't paying much attention to me..sadness. But then he said it looked pretty...probably just so he didn't get on my bad side....
This weekend was bogus. i didn't do anything, I was sad because Westley yelled at me (but he apologized. I should have spoken up but I didn't.)and he was sad....and he kept trying to get me to look at him in the car. It was so sweet.
My dad was yelling at me. I rented Darkside Blues which I have been waiting forever to see and the dvd kepting freezing and skipping. I liked the anime tho what I saw of it. >< I played a lot of Soul Calibur on my Gamecube and a lot of DDR sunday.
I wish Westley would hug me hard and close to him..I missed him all weekend. I just want him to hold me....maybe I can go oer to his house sometime this week, because I really need to cuddle.
He kept telling me all these things last night that he loved about me. I hope we'll stay together. I love him more than I ever haved loved anyone else.
Well today is the Selena's b-day!!! ^____^ So go wish Miss Sexxy a good one at her site usagixsenjo.
Huggle
xXx Westley's Kitten xXx
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Wednesday, May 4, 2005

   Current mood: tired and laughing Current Music:
So, how is everyone? First off, about the whole fake goth situation....the girl just PMed me and said that she didn't care what I called her. Then she told me not to call her dear or hun, because she's not lezbo. You know what? I call everyone that. Guy or girl. Thanks the support. Thats hilarious Blacknova!! So do I!! I always look through peoples GBs because they intrest me.
Anyways, enough on that subject. I can't believe Westley looks like Paddy!! Thats awesome that he has a twin in Ireland. ^0^ I bet he's not as cute as him tho! ^~ Do you think he's cute Niamh?
I had pretty good today. First was boreing, but the funniest thing. We are doing silk screening in that class and everyone except for me, because hey I never do any work, is makeing a shirt. Everyone is makeing a shirt on something they seemingly liek. But Grant. *cracks up* Is makeing one that says Dollar General stores on it!! ^^ ^^ ROFL LOLOLOLOL ROFLROFLROFLROFL!!!
Today in C.W we were in teh cafeteria so everyone was sitting all diffrently. I was sitting with Heather, Jeff, Sky, Hippie and her 3 guy freinds, Nick and Grant. it was fun. Grant told me about this morning when he dropped something that weighed 12 pounds on his balls!! >0< It was really funny because he's been walking funny all day. And the only reason he did it wa sbecause he thought no one would think he'd do it!! LOL!!! The sub guy in the cafeteria made Grant sit at the table with him. He talked a lot about church and compareing what you do in school and church. He yelled at Nick and Jeff, and us for eating, but Jeff has a reason to eat. because he's diabetic and needs to keep his blood sugar up and make sure he's not to reliant on his insulin pump. The guy yelled at him for being diabetic!! ><
Westley is so sweet. I really really love him. I don't ever want to leave him or for him to leave me. Today in school he was so cute. I love his eyes. They are so beautiful and grey...sometimes a blue color. They look liek a storm after I get done kissing him. He said some of the sweetest things to me last night. He's about the only person who'll listen to me besides you guys. it always seems with my real life freinds all they ever do is come to me with problems (not that I don't liek helping them), and when I try to talk about one of my problems or maybe trying to get teh subject a bit happier they just say something else. At least someone will listen to me.
Michelle is so hawht. You should go to her site and see her pics.
Anyways....huggles!!
btw..If I had to dedicate a song to Westley it would kinda be "Sleeping in the Fire" by WASP....what would you guys say about your freind/boyfreind/whatever?
xXx Westley's Kitten xXx
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Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Current Mood: a bit angry and sad. Current Music: Solitude-Black Sabbath, random Rush songs,
Seems it's gonna be an all out war. There is these two people. benjiismyfreak and iluvsasuk that are kinda argueing with me. iluvsasuk came to my GB today and I said that I called someone a wannabe goth. I had forgotten all of it until I went back to sign his/her GB and saw the name and the words
"Hey!! Pergetory is just a bitch and a wannabe metal head"
Now my dear freinds, when have I called myself a metal head? never. People going around saying crap liek "Imay look like a teenie-booper, but I'm goth" is fake. So, sorry, but any one who goes around calling themeselves goth is desreving what I say to them about it. They are gonna view me as the 'bad guy' but tell me do you think I was just in saying so? I started cracking up when I saw what benjiismyfreak said in iluvsasuk GB. She couldn't even spell my name.
I am turning into Nimah (Kuni).
Well today has been an all right day after all that. I went to school and all. We watched the Incredibles in C.W. It was so gay. it wasn't even cute. But I got to Westley and all, so it was great. ^__________^ I am just a sucker, I know, but I love my boyfreind. More than anything or anyone I have ever seen in my life. We have a song now. It's Black Sabbath "Solitude". It's not the lyrics to the song....it's more of the tone and insturmentals. My mother had a break down today. I hope she's gonna be ok. We are going to go walking in a little while so I hope that helps her.
Today was also a glorious day, because I got to stare at my good freind, Heather's ass. She kept asking me if there was red stain on it and i said
" heheheeeeee...it's never good to ask a bisexual to stare at your ass."
But Heaher is all good about stuff liek that.
I have to say something. Michelle (Pink Cherry) has to be one of the best freinds, I've ever had. though I have never met her before...we are liek twins in ways. it sacry. We both have curly hair too!! ^__^ I keep meaning to call her, but I'm always so afraid to, because it's awkward and all....
huggles!!
xXx Westley's Kitten xXx
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Monday, May 2, 2005

   Current Mood: greif, happiness Current Music: "Engil" "Firefly""Amerika""Du hast" Rammstein
Ahhhhhh how my weekend was grand. And of yours? I was so happy that Michelle-sama updated. I missed her terribly. >< But i had a wonderful weekend except for the fact that I didn't get any, but giveing something was all good. cum on you guys know what I mean, I know you do.~^. Espically the ones that know me best. I watched all of Sin City Sunday and it has to be one of the best ever. The photography and acting and music all was the best. We need more movies leik that. But no.....when is the next Jennifer Aniston romance comedy out, is all the movies we get. Oh well. I neeeeeeeeeeeeed to see Dark Water when it comes out. I tried to readf the manga and only parts of it made sense. That and it wasn't as gorey as I first suspected it to be. Dragonforce is awesome and they have an Asian guy in the band....which is really cool, because he has the longest hair. I'm going to try to get a pic to put down here, And maybe another Alexi Laiho one. Can anyone say "Lynnsey is becomeing a fangirl?" I've been reading up a bit more on teh band and all, but i can't find much about their influences, stuff like that; that I want to know about.

Anyways part above was wrote before school, now this is after. Anyways, i had a great day today. I had fun with Westley as usual. He made up a bunch of crap about zombies. I just now found out Bard and Katie are broken up. I hate that for him. Bu the way Koryn, I'm bisexual and of course I don't mind you saying that! It's a compliement. Thanks sweetie. I see you guys like the layout? It's dedicated to Westley....I'm writting a poem about him, but not sure if I should post it yet or not. I don't want him to read it because it's embaressing. I'm not good at lovey-dovey crap. But huggle! All right I have a pic of the guy at the bottom....the guy from Dragonforce that is. He is the distinclty asain one. But Anyways my freind Trevor is really down right now. He ran over his dog yesterday in his shaggin'waggon. It died when they were takeing it to teh vet. So........huggle Trevor. Huggles to all.



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Sunday, May 1, 2005

   Current Mood: love Current Music: Dragonforce
Hey lookie new layout! yes I am working on teh music, but more later...I had a great time at teh Westley's house. We watched Sin City and it's gotta be one of teh best movies evah. Anyways, I love you baby. Good night to all. More tomorrow....
huggle
*cuddles up with Westley and nibbles on his neck and starts to snore*
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Saturday, April 30, 2005

   Current Mood: Happy for I am going to teh Westley's house!! ^__^ Current Music: Breeding-hide-sama, and My Spirit Will go on-Dragonforce
Well, not much to say, but today is going to be pretty good hopefully. I got to post on Kei's site today so yay!!! ^__^ I miss her so much. But I hope Brad and Katie will be together...and saty that way. Things seem to be getting rough in there part of the lover world. So, please if you can go to Brosenka's site and give him any advice you can. For me and for him. But well yesterday was pretty bad except I almost passed out in science rofl. I have been starveing myself again and I promise no more!! >< Anyways leaveing you with some pics! huggle!

Alexi Laiho from Children of Bodom!! I am becomeing a fangirl of his -_-'

another of Alexi!! ^_____^

some of my favorite cover art. It took me awhile to find it, but I did!! ^^ Has anyone actually heard of them? or heard this album? They used to be one of my favorite bands...


and my favorite little robo dog of all GIR!! He always cheers me up!! Cute ne?
xXx Westley's Kitten xXx
ps. Is it time for Waffles?



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Thursday, April 28, 2005

   Current Mood: Pretty happy and kinda sleepy. Current music: More haggard and Rhapsody, and also " Moist Vagina" Nirvana
hmmm the lightbulb made me laugh. hehehehe. LOL ROFL ROFL LOL!!! Anyways....how is all of you doing? i am all right. Kinda sleepy. Wishing my Westley was here to cuddle with me. It's kinda cold and all, and I just wanna curl up with someone and fall asleep, like i used to. Well, only when I was 'supposedly' at Annies or my parents weren't home. But my chest has been hurting a lot lately, my stomache is hurting a lot more than usual as well. It seems to happen after I get up from sitting. my room smells so bad right now. My lungs hurt from inhaleing all the cat pee and shit smells. My mom still hasn't cleaned out their shittbox. Oh well. I just have to constantly spray the air freshener. Looks like I'm not gonna get my project done for GTK's art contest ethier. >< >< But bleh...I'm still happy. I'll try to get to as many sites as possible. I drew a pic of Westley and i together today. Trevor, had to help me a little with my chin though, because I'm a shitty everything. Anyways I thought teh funniest thought on the bus today. I thought to my self "Why does it smell like cat piss and beef burittos from taco bell?" It was the kid in front of me that smelled so bad. I don't think his parents can afford much though, because they look pretty poor. Even though the kid is really annoying he's still only a sweet little kid on the inside. I see that in him and he just acts annoying to keep from being a wallflower anymore. I like being a wallflower. It's nice being the kid in the corner. Actually I have a lot of freinds. but well, that reminds me of Jeff and I defineing our poetry. he said mine was Excrutisim (I probably didn't even spell that right -__-') but it's not 'goth' poetry, as my poems have been described before. It's more of a veiw on life and things from the lonely kid in the corner. It's not goth though. I'm gonna post a couple of poems....I think that I have actually posted before. But tell me what you think of them, k? Be critical. And don't be afraid to hurt my feelings.
huggles, here are teh poems.
First one is Angelic Musicbox:

Maybe I'll Find You.

I'm locked inside this box,

An angel with torn stained wings,

Locked inside the clouds,

Sings to you inside yourself,

Make her real again.

See the rain?

That's her crying.

See the blood?

That's her dying.

The rain and blood twine together

making the sounds of a musicbox.

Beautiful words spun together

Like a patch work quilt,

Weaving antiquities of her time.

You can see her face

It's crying.

The blood inside her eyes,

Pouring in a mass, together with tears,

Forming the blanket in which you are wrapped in tight.

You are searching yourself,

Looking for her inside.

Fumbling eternaly with time,

You intertwine with the moonlight,

Only to find she was just a dream.

Or maybe the end which justifies your means.

this ones called Death (not about the actual process)
Black wings,

Like a crow

Hair the color of a ghost.

Hollow inside and out,

Cape made of the midnight wind,

Eyes made of nighttime stars

Kingdom built on blood

Knowing all,

Seeing all,

He's always at your side.

Just look beside you.

He's been there all along

Your friend when you have no one else,

Ever so handsome is he

Look up there's Death

Sitting in a tree.

there are a couple of others, but I have to type them up first.




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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

   Current Mood; Horny and Angry, Current Music: Haggard
Hey guys. Whats been up with all of you today? I was so suprised to see big brother Matty come by my site! ^___^ yay!! Anyways, I got a mixed Haggard cd today, and one of Dragonforce as well. Westley always has all the best music. I'm lame.
Today has been kinda bad. I was REALLY mad during 4th. This guy called Conard (Westley has deemed him Confag, which in the ultaminum reminds me of Cockfag....) all of a sudden out of the blue turns around and calls Westley fat!!! >_____< He was so pissed...I was so mad that I could feel anger rushing through my body...and it felt like fire kinda. But anyways, Westley just starts cussing him out and saying crap like "I'm gonna bash his fucking head in. " and all that stuff. Then Confag (who is like a twig...ewwwww....and) says he could take him!!! I think everyone was basically against Confag. He could never had won. Westley would have had Confag beaten into the ground before he could ever lay a finger on my baby ^__^. But my baby did the right thing and didn't fight him. He relased some of his anger on a pencil which he broke and playing bloody Knuckles with this guy in our class, called Brandon. GOD I HATE CONFAG!!! >< He's so dumb. Westley isn't fat at all. Stupid Confag. I want to catch him outside of school grounds so that I could have said what I wanted to say in the class. I would have told him

"Cock bitch your ass ugly bird face has no right to talk about looks, you cock fucker. He can take you the fucking hell down and you know it. " plus more......

Anyways before that all was good. I think we have our song......
It's called
2. Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)

I got pictures of naked ladies
Lying on their beds
I whiff that smell and sweet convulsion
Starts a-Swelling inside my head
I'm making artificial lovers for free
I start to howl I'm in heat
I moan and growl and the hunt drives me crazy
I f*** like a Beast

I come round, round i come feel your love
Tie you down, down i come steal your love
I come round, round i come feel your love
Tie you down, down i come steal your love

I'm on the prowl and i watch you closely
I lie waiting for you
I'm the wolf with the sheepsskins clothing
I lick my chops and your tasting good
I do whatever i want to, to ya
I'll nail your ass to the sheets
A pelvic thrust and the sweat starts to sting ya
I f*** like a beast

I come round, round i come feel your love
Tie you down, down i come steal your love
I come round, round i come feel your love
Tie you down, down i come steal your love

Come ride, savage seduction
Ride, ride, ride





huggles

xXx Westley's Kitten xXx
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