Monday, January 10, 2005

   I'm at school right now...
In lunch at the current time, but you know I don't eat so um yeah. I accidently yelled at Chris this morning. I'm sorry baby. I really am. i just wanted a little extra rest, because i had evrything together. But anyways whats going on in your lives? Good I hope. Is the video working/music or whatever? It's man that you fear by Marylin manson. I love that song. I wanna play DDR. Bad. That game is the ultimatre boredom solution. I have danced my ass off. Seriously. my scanner won't work so pics won't be up so soon and even if they are they are to big for myO's standards. But i'll have chris help me fix it. anyways I have a new short story comeing soon. It's a horror story which starts typical, but ends up...well oyu will see!! It will have A LOT of sexual situations dealing with rape and torture. I RP it out with Chris last night and he siad it sent chills up his spine. So, hope you like it!! Well, nothing much heregoing on besides boredom and hunger, but how was everyone's days? Like the new site outlook? hugs and bai!
~playswithsquirrils~
ps.you have to call me by my full name Darke!!
pss.I miss brad. I hacven't talked to him in a few days. There I mentioned you!!!
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Sunday, January 9, 2005

   Worried,happy and playing with suquirels
Well, today was filled fun, worry and good times. I'll have to check all of your sites tomorrow. Because yeah. my best friend and i are back on good terms. but well. Chara's mom's boyfriend Greg, came in all doped up and thought Kevin RAPED Chara!!! >< He's such a fuck up. Now he's all delusional and stuff. What a fruit. Now I'm afriad Kevin will end up dead or in jail. But anyways I played DDR today till my legs are acheing. Not really legs more like my ankles. I think I turned them the wrong way on "Love,Love, Sugar,Sugar" Thats such a cool song!! The really awesome thing is that they have some of the tracks from Silent Hill. They have "You aren't Here" from SH3, and something to do with Cynthia from SH4. My mom is in there watching porn. It's hillarious because we were watching it together laughing at all the people. The guy has a hook dick!!! *cracks up* No we aren't masterabuating!!! that would just be nasty!! >< But anyways, I'm sorry for talking about nasty stuff. I apologize. It just struck me as odd because thats the first time I've seen a guy with a hook like penis. But anyways the site will be redesigned sometime soon. Archard, gave me pictures. So, major credit goes to her!! *gives her a nakie Vicious* I'll only share this once!! I also have a scanner. Now all I havce to do is hook it up and you will be seeing a shittload of new art that I hope you will enjoy. A lot of it is Thanatos character designs. I will also be takeing requests. That is if my art is even good enough to do requests. But that will all be up to you! And please tell me honest opinons. But I have one more nw thing to tell you before I go. My new name is "Plays with Suquirels" You have to call me that now. Yes you must do it. Or else. When I get Eggy from Brad I will make her attcak you!! but to Sinny. Sorry i had to sign off, because I told Chris back!! Well, see ya'll tomorrow!! ^^
~playswithsuquirels~
ps.That poem didn't mean to remind people of brad...I like Dragons too ya know!!!! 0_o
pss. That quote was from Invader Zim. Gir said it! Can't believe you people didn't know it!
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Saturday, January 8, 2005

   hehehhehehe I am so happy for some odd reason!!
I just love my boyfriend. God I just need to say how much i love him. i really do. I didn't realize how much i cared until we almnost were apart. I was so hurt today by Chara and all but Brad helped me get happier. He's always cheering me up!! ^^ So, thanks to Brad. His girfriend is a sweetie too. You sholud go check out her site sometime you know? Vaca Invincible. I think thats it. Well I talked to Sinny for a min on AIM a min ago and she seems not know a thing about the nasty post Lord Raisian made about her. Saying that awful thing. >< Oh yeah I guess what i got? Dance Dance Revlution Extreme!! ^^ I'M GOING TO DANCE MY ASS OFF!! Sorry there is no music on my site by the way. Just the little poem at the top. I like that poem. I wrote it at a spur of the moment when I felt sad. i am starting to get back into my fantasy obsession. It will never be able to replace my death and horror one though. I just love pshycological torture!!! ^^ Not doing it to people ( well except a few jackasses at school ) So, I am going to get some sleep and talk to Chris because I am horny. I neeed phone sex. " But,I neeeed tacos. I need them to live or my head will explode. That happens to me sometimes." Tell me where that quote is from and who said it and you get a prize! Whatever you want from me!! besides my rights to Alucard and Vicious!!! NOONE CAN TAKE THOSE!! Well, bai bai. Me post more laters. HUGS!!!
~Kitten+_+~Heres a lullabye to close your eyes~
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Friday, January 7, 2005

   I really wanted to see my friends today!! Stupid fucking bus. *hugs Matty*
I hope Matty will be all right. If you have him on your AIM Buddy List look at his away message. His heart seems like it's about to comitt suicide. Well not his body, but his heart. Note that. I'm happy my boyfriend and I are back together. Things seem so much better now, because it seems like he and I have realized that we have both done wrong to each other, and we have to accept each others diffrences. What i dopn't like is my fucking best friend and her boyfriend talking about me behind my back. I talked to her last night and she said what she was doing wasn't talking about me behind my back. She was mad at me for being bad to Chris and i was at myself for that as well. I didn't need her to tell me that I've done him wrong. I already knew that. And I apologized. Second she said I was cheating on Chris with the guys and my friend Katie C, but you know when he says it's all right as long as he can watch porn and look at hentai, then I don't think it's cheating on him. If he didn't approve and all that would be such a diffrent story and I would be in such big trouble, ehehehee! ^^''''''' Well, I missed the bus this morning as you can tell. I'm not feeling quite right. I'll be better later. bcak to my horny self. But all alone at home *cries* And I'm all ready to go to school as well. I was really trying. I hate my tummy for being a bitch. Bad tummy!! *hits stomache and cringes* I bet Demon inu would be good bed, Elves!!! Hehehehe so many fantasies. Oh, so many. Now I don't feel good and I'm horny!!! >< And to the random person who commented, sure you can join my orgy!!! It was something Gohan....sorry I don't remeber your name! Now I want to elaborate a momment on how much work I put into this site...do you know how long it takes for me to find a good BG? I seem to repeat midis that I use, but I promise a new one will be up soon!!! Just trying to look for something creepy enough to go with my personality. ~^ i have so many BGs I like...I might change this one again soon. I wanna go with a Silent hill theme, but alas good Silent Hill materail is hard to find. I like the Fatal Frame theme though. Sometimes I don't know which game I like better. Silent Hill is a lot more challenging than Fatal Frame. And sometimes scarier and more of my kind of thing. But Fatal Frame is more supernatural. And the ghosts are really cool and disfigured too. And for some odd reason can be a bit more rewarding because it has a really cool theme song. I really like the SH soundtrack!! ok. I'll stop writting. It's getting long. Sorry. I'm just being random. And horny!! But anyways love all of you. And Matty things will get better. Just wait and see. And...BRAD!! hahaha just to say I mentioned you! so, you better not kill my chicken. And I hope I get that pic soon Kei! And I miss Keiko, but she comes to my site, but doesn't update....well laters and hugs!!!
~Kitten+_+~Heres a lullabye to close your eyes~
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Thursday, January 6, 2005

   I slept in on accident!!! >
I fell asleep because my stomache ached with hunger. And there isn't too much to eat here. I'll find something. But Chris and I are back together. Maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought i was to break up with him. He and I are going to try to work on our problems. His jealousy and my rage. Sorry if this seems like as on going soap opera ><. But anyways, cheese doodles. Wish I had some. I have slept all day today. Just because I woke up at 11 and knew it was too late to go to school. I slept till right now which is 2:33 pm. i was going to sleep till 3, but realized I needed to work on my Math homework, maybe. If I could understand what the hell any of it means. I think I'm going to ask to drop Math, because it's way too hard for me. Unless i get a text book and re-read all of it. >< I am smart just learn better from a textbook than a teacher. I can mnake my own short cuts through problems, I don't need theirs. I am sounding arrogant now, but it's true. I studied my mother and fathers old textbooks and GED books and learned all of that early. So, I was prepared for certains types. I can't change my avi still. it says it needs to be in JPEG, and i have it saved that way! And it's the right size too!! Stupid my o won't show my GB background for some reason ethier. I'm still also trying to read some of my friends poetry. I have so much do on here yet I'm so lazy that I don' feel like it. Bu i'm goig to get to the fiction today. You can visit my friend at her MyO site too. Please? She doesn't have too many friends. her name is nelly. she is on my friends list and writes some beautiful poetry. I also wonder if Brad has killed my chicken Eggy. How i want Eggy so. And she will have chicks and I wil name then Jebhidah, Eggbert, Eggyjr. And then she will have two adn I will name one Katie and the other one Brad. And they will reproduce. A Lot. I loveid my Kei-chan. I hope Reiyou isn't bullying her today. Kei-chan is one my best buddies. She is awesome! ^^ And she is sending me a pic hopefully!! Well, laters too all. And hugs. And I miss Hinaru.
~Kitten-_+~Heres a lullabye to close your eyes~
byt the way my site is up to 1015 hits and 151 GB signatures!! ^^ Thanks a lot guys! But well it's not like it's a competetion or anything so well it doesn't really matter. More like thanks for being there for me and all! And where is my lil sis, Sinny. And Ryu? They aren't on. I espically need to talk to Sinny about wether or not i can beat Lord Raisian up. Can never spell his name right! >< He said she is going to have to find someone else! NO ONE CROSSES MY LIL SIS AND GETS AWAY ALIVE!! ><
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005

....wheeee.
School. It so sucks so bad. I have no friends in my classes. None. So, I sit in the front and feel like people stare at me constantly...mainly because I'm almost the only gothic person in all of my classes. So, it makes me feel outcasted. And all the other goth people I feel uncomfortable around. I do have lunch with Freddy and David though. Yay for that! ^^ I sat with Freddy today. I didn't really talk to David. I might be changeing French out for German. Just so I can be with them. I know a lot of the French already though... And you'll never believce what happened to me!! I PASSED A CLASS!! ^^''' I didn;t know I could, nut i passed part one of Algebra year long...I saw my old teacher today when I was walking with Heather and said hi. And she said "You passed." And went on her way. I don't understand it...But hell. It's a credit. Good for me. I hate school. But hey I got the first Hellsing manga today!! ^^ I did enjoy it thourghly. I love the part where he is forming back togther and he looks so damn insanely adorable! ^^ Yay!! I finally found a version of Forever Love that will download!!! ^^ ME IS HAPPY NOW!! Well, even if I have no friends at school (in classes at least) I still have Orgy, my muse. And Testament my dark side of my mind to converse with. I'm grateful for that. And a ton of books and manga to read. Damn i dunno why, but all of a sudden I have a need for a good fuck session. It was odd, but just a feeling. meh. I feel sad. Stupid depression. I feel bad for makeing Chris hurt. I got a pM from him today and well it was long and sappy. And he said he couldn't stop listening to HIM's For You. It's my song to him. I don't know what to do, but I have to call him tomorrow to tell him something. And I can't see my BG on my site anymore. God, I feel like I'm gonna cry. But I know I should be happy. agh. By this evening I should be back to the happy me. I started feeling depressed last night though. I dunno why. I went to the bookstore and afterwards I got kinda sad...maybe it was because everyone there was coupled up. Everyone seems to have someone to be with. But I don't. Shit!!! *whacks self in head* STOP GETTING DEPRESSED!! ahm. Much better. i'm hungry and i'm sorry the post has jumped around so much! ^^''' God, I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. But tell me how all is in your worlds. Oh, yeah. Just for the hell of it! hehehe BRAD!! There I mentioned you! Feel loved. And give me Eggy damnit. She'll die without my love and care!! ^_^
~Kitten-_+~Heres a lullabye to close your eyes~
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005

   oh...shitt
I didn't mean for Chris to read that last post...if you haven't heard, him and i are takeing a 'break'. Meaning i'm single. But anyways I'm sad. kinda...but hey gotta stay poitive. I found my favorite Silent Hill (my favorite game series)mp3. It's from 4. I'm going to post they lyrics and the stuff in bold means something to me. heh, if you piece it togther and you know me well enough you'll know who it's talking about. It actually could many things. So, it's like a look into my mind...cool huh? Well, I wish I could put the mp3 up here, but i don't know how. If anyone knows could you tell me? Well, I kept trying to change my avi today, but it looks as if I'm going to have to ask Chara to make me a new one..by the way thanks for the compliements on the new BG! ^^ It's from one of my favorite seires Fatal Frame. It's actually a screenshot. One that I haven't gotten yet...I'm playing it on Nightmare right now, but I have to wait to go to Chara's or rent it to play it again, because I don't have the game.
Well, here are the lyrics.
Love all of you and bai.
Room of Angel lyrics
You lie silent there before me
your tears they mean nothing to me
the wind howling at the window
the love you never gave
I give to you

Really don't deserve it
but now there's nothing you can do
so sleep in your only memory of me
my dearest mother

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
goodbye
goodbye

So insignificant
sleeping dormant deep inside of me
are you hiding away lost
under the sewers
maybe flying high in the clouds
perhaps you're happy without me
so many seeds have been sown in the field
and who could sprout up so blessedly
if I had died
I would have never felt sad at all
you will not hear me say I'm sorry
where is the light
wonder if it's weeping somewhere

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye

ps. people say I sing pretty well. I think I sing that song all right. yay, self confidence up by .00001 points.
~Kitten-_+~
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   Mew. *pounce*
hehehehehe, some of you already know, but guess what happened last night?? Chris and I are takeing a break!! ^^ Basically breaking up with him, but with a small posiiblity that we might get back together...It all depends on if I find anyone else...But school starts back up tomorrow. >< I'm still gonna stay up late though, because well, I do anyways all the time. And I'm always tired during school so what does it matter??? Wish I weren't though...Well me is horny again!! lol. Can't believe I have my freedom though!!!! ^_^ *dances the dance of doom* Talked once again with Brad on the phone last night. But this time woth his girlfriend. She seemed really sweet. Hope they stay together!! ^^ Afterwards more fun...
Man I be hungry...and about to write a stroy...maybe. It all depends. It might not be apropriate enough to post on Myo, so it might not end up here! So, I better be on myO because I have nothing else to really talk about...except I'm going to the bookstore today so more MANGA!! yay! Love to all of you. Hugs. I miss Hinaru...
~Kitten-_+~
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Monday, January 3, 2005

   Hai, it's four in the morning...
And yes I know I should be sleeping, but well, I told Brandy i would wake her up and I did. Well, whats going on with everyone who is probably asleep right now... i'm just sitting a bit satisfied sexually and well yeah. I just got off the phone with Bradely (Brosenka)and his adorable fried Kitty an hour ago. Avtually I got off with him at 2:30 ish. His friend was all ready off. Him and I had good fun. It was nice! ^^ He has an ultra sexxy voice. And he's a really awesome person. Unfourtunately he had to hear Chris and I argue which was ultra embaressing. I told Chris I would call him at 10:30 after he gets off work. I forgot what time it was, but well Brad asked he could call me and I said yeah. We talked and then Chris called on the cell and pissed Brandy off. ><
Once again like the other fight he wouldn't get off the phone with me. This time I had to turn off the phone. And then i finally turned it back on and awnswered his call. I told him i would call him afterwards and I did. He felt like I chose Brad over him, which I kinda did. >< Brad is really awesome. I didn't expect him to have such a sexxy voice. It shocked me! lol, the funny thing is. 5 minutes after i got offline he called me and said it just now said you were offline. ^^ Silly Yahoo and it's humorus way of doing that. I think my messenger is screwed up..but oh well. Ryu and I got into a fight earlier. I was suicidal and acting like a jackass. So, I got off without really saying much of a goodbai. so he left me a coupl of messgaes that said don't dare 2 talk to me again!! And somethig about how he was tired of getting sad over helping other people. I cried because I thought i couldn't talk to him again...I cried for awhile. and then I went on to apologize for being such an asshole. And i saw I had a message. I had to get off again and then I finally read the message. i think we are back on good terms now...i hope. Goodness I'm tired, but I don't wanna go to bed. I just wanna fuck right now. I wanna cuddle afterwards and be held. I wanna know someone wants me in there arms. God, I'm a horny bitch. Anyways. Better stop typeing. My eyes aren't fareing so well again. I think I'm going to have to get glasses ><. But damnit i wanna cuddle. Even if it's long distance cuddle. Well love all of you and i'll be back on later today!! hugs!
~Kitten-_+~
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Sunday, January 2, 2005

   Still tired.
Ack, I woke up a little while ago and jeez I'm still tired. I got up to read some more of Aubrey's fic and ended reading a really long chapter. It's a good story and very erotic. And as we all know I like erotic things! Yeah, Elvesatemyramen thats the figure I have! He's adorable, but his hair could poke someone's eyes out!! ^^ I had fun last night. Chris and I made up and now he may be buying my DDR! He just started his job at KFC a little while back. I talked to Sinny and Matty on AIM last night, but still...no Ryu. I was hopeing to catch him today...oh, well. *sigh* Well, I also downloaded the Chou ( Fatal Frame 2 theme song, very pretty. The lyrics will be at the botttom of todays post ) I still wish I had someone else though. Chara thinks it's because I'm afraid of not being able to find someone else and hurting him. I'm just scared... But anyways. I miss you Ryu, where are you??!! I also miss Aubrey...where did he go too? I hope you all are haveing a good day! Oh, yeah I hope Hinaru is all right and hasn't ended up drunk...I miss him as well. ;_; And Sam too. She is nowhere to be seen. But I really need to change my avi!! 3 other people have it besides me!! >< I want to be orginal. But it may not be possible. I think i'm going to find something that fits my true personality. Roseil really doesn't besides the fact we are both madly insane. >0< hehehe. Thank you smoothlady for the christmas card! I drooled at it profusely! How did you know I loved Alucard? Well...I guess it's not that hard to tell is it? I love all of you. Because you guys know my better than most other people and don't judge me... I'm off to work on my site and get a new midi and a new avi...if it is at all possible ><
Lyrics to Chou (Butterfly)

Deep undeground, I kept digging a hole
Without knowing where it would lead
With a dirt-covered eyepiece in one hand
I searched for your arm
Scraping together patchwork happiness, and sowing it,
I was crushed by your strength

Burned on Burned on
The inerasable scars left by the palms of my hands
Sever a rift in the red-stained clouds with my torn wings
See, I can flutter better than you thought

The eternity that I dreamed while confined in my cocoon
Where will it take seed and blossom?
The morning will eventually come and bring the darkness back home,
And steal my eyes away from me
Fumbling for you by moonlight, overlapping and entangling with you,
I believed I could become your true hiding place

Burned on Burned on
The place of our promise that will never return
Run across the black-stained earth with a torn-off agony
See, I can flutter better than you thought

If you can't hear me, even though I scream
I want you to destroy me with your own hands
While you can still hold me dear
Your arms that hold me back
Turn into a gentle dust
A simply stare at the sky, silently

Burned on Burned on
The inerasable scars left by the palms of my hands
Sever a rift in the red-stained clouds with my torn wings
Burned on Burned on
The place of our promise that will never return
See, I can flutter better than you thought
~Kitten-_+~
ps.hugs!
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