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myOtaku.com
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• abluesparrowe
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• grivershini6
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Birthday
• 1989-04-10
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Female
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• Space Colossus
Member Since
• 2004-05-02
Occupation
• Zach's Bitch ahahaha
Real Name
• Lynnsey
Personal
Achievements
• College and things.
Anime Fan Since
• Four years old which is when I first saw Akira
Favorite Anime
• Higurashi (When They Cry), Nana, School Days, Devilman, Hoshi No Koe (Voices Of A Distant Star), Loveless, Gravitation, Boogiepop Phantom, Yami To Boushi No Hon Tabibito
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• To ensure the happiness and stability of our future. To possibly have a family one day.
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• Reading, Website design, music, anime, fashion, artsy shit?
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• Uncertain.
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Monday, October 15, 2007
I See No Reason.
I really don't know what to do anymore.
With anything.
My sides keep hurting (where the ovaries are.) and I still haven't had my period. This means there is something wrong with them. Plus lower back pain. I looked up my symptoms and found something quite menacing which could be causing these problems.
But guess what? I don't have insurance and I don't have the money to pay for all the gyno bullshit that I don't want to go through anyways, but need to go through to find out what's wrong. Plus no money for the surgery. Insurance is a motherfucking cumbersome process which could take MONTHS. So, guess what? I'm just going to fucking live with it and hope it kills me soon.
I see no reason to live relying on others for everything and not knowing what the hell will happen, because people change their minds. I see no reason to live when any friends I have love to vanish or die. I see no reason to live with my mind not able to think one thought at a time. I feel at my lowest point, since I found out Casey was dead and the day Westley and I broke up. But then again, everyday feels progressively worse than the next to me. I can't talk about any of this with anyone because the only person who could even relate is now fucking dead. If I talk about this with my fucking boyfriend or the therapists they'll send me to fucking Lakeshore, or somehow I'll end up somewhere worse than ever. Because it's just my luck. I'm always stuck somehow and never know what to do. It never gets better anymore, (well it does and then the negative and the positive somehow tilt the scale to where the negative is much heavier than the positive.)
Btw, I got my diagnosis back from the shrink the other day.
Major, Reoccurring, Severe, Depression without Psychosis. Panic Disorder, without Agoraphobia. But I have to get another one done because of Vocational Rehab, so that I can possibly get into college for free.
Thanks for thinking of me Bekki. :D Laid To Rest is the worlds best break up song if you read the lyrics.
Phil, it's good to know that you're glad you have a penis lulz.
<3
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