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• grivershini6
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• 1989-04-10
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Female
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• Space Colossus
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• 2004-05-02
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• Zach's Bitch ahahaha
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• Lynnsey
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• College and things.
Anime Fan Since
• Four years old which is when I first saw Akira
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• Higurashi (When They Cry), Nana, School Days, Devilman, Hoshi No Koe (Voices Of A Distant Star), Loveless, Gravitation, Boogiepop Phantom, Yami To Boushi No Hon Tabibito
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• To ensure the happiness and stability of our future. To possibly have a family one day.
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• Reading, Website design, music, anime, fashion, artsy shit?
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• Uncertain.
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Friday, November 16, 2007
The Playlist XD: "Please Don't Remember"-The Flashbulb, "Heaven And Weak", "Undine And Underwater Flowers", "They Aren't All Beautiful"-Maudlin Of The Well, "All Is Violent, All Is Bright", "Fragile", "When Everything Dies"-God Is An Astronaut.
So, I feel emotionally tormented right now.
I feel like an indentured slave in a sense.
I don't really have friend's anymore. It's pretty painful. But I miss that feeling of being close to someone. Someone to share your dreams with, and to face reality and beyond. Isn't that what a boyfriend is supposed to be like? I feel like I'm in some sort of withdrawing process. The only friends that are "friends" just talk to me because they want to have sex with me.
And now as I think about it. No one has called me like in...months. It's amazing. Hahaha. It's only when they want help. Which I'm more than willing to give.
But.
I'm bleeding still. I almost have been "spotting" for a month. That's bad isn't it? I can't get medical help either because it's not an "emergency". I don't know whats wrong with me. But my sides hurt terribly and my back as well.
I'm taking Abilify now. An extremely low dosage, as with Geodon they made me take 50 mg. The Abilify isn't doing shit. Maybe its the dosage, but I don't know honestly.
It feels like my "symptoms" are getting worse. I thought I just heard someone scream my name in my headphones and the paper was being eaten by black dots. I just want to go to sleep, but I can't.
Why can't I? I just don't know why.
Every time I talk to my boyfriend, about how I feel, which is usually not that great, he gets mad about me being suicidal. I don't think he's mature enough for me (not being egotistical.), but it just doesn't seem like he can handle me talking about things. Yet. I'm supposed to be a willing ear for him. Wtf. He tries so hard though. I know I'm tough to deal with.
He tries so hard.
I'm going to go to bed.
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