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• To ensure the happiness and stability of our future. To possibly have a family one day.
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Saturday, December 4, 2004
Silent Jealousy!!!!
In memory of hide-sama for his birthday was yesterday! I cried when I found out, for some odd reason. Yesterday was also another famous rock icons birthday, Ozzy. Not nearly as important as hide-sama, but none the less a cool person!! Well, how are you guys doing? I'm fine! I have Chris sitting right here with me and well we get to go look at the Christmas lights tonight! yay! I like to go look at em. Just wish iyt were me and him, so it would be more romantic. My little cousins are here to makeing it almost impossible for peace to be heard within the car. It sucks. They are both little brats, but well i still love em! I love all of you and hope you all have a good day! ^^
~Purgatory-_-~Dead and loveing it~
ps. I'm worried about Sam ( Razors and Needles) Has anyone heard from her? I waited up online last night and she wasn't on...
STORY TIME!!!!
He's Not Here.
By: I-Wish-I-Were-Dead
" The sun is setting in the dusk. Can't you see it too? "
" Yeah, I can see it. "
" I'm glad. Your so cold again tonight, but the cherryblossoms are blowing in the wind. They are signaling the changes in the season. You always loved them so much. "
" I know. Because they always reminded me of you. And when i'm reminded of you, I can always think happy thoughts no matter what I'm doing. "
" I'm always thinking of you. I know you don't have much longer left so I only want to give you the best experince possible. "
You wrap your arms around me and smile at me. The sadest smile. It was only with you I spent the happiest of days. It was only with you that I saw the how you can hide in a false sense of time, hopeing that our days together would last and last. But I knew. You knew. That it was not meant to be. Wait a minute..your smile is so happy, wipeing out the stars that now occupy the skies.
" What are you talking about? I don't have any illness! "
He laughs, a laugh that I missed hearing.
" Don't joke! I only wish that were true! "
" But it is true! You know that you live with me now! We've been married for a month now! "
I couldn't believe it! Was this the reality of things? Now I begin to listen him describeing our wedding and how happy my parents were for me. My family was off drugs, my little brother had a good girlfriend and everything was good with them.
" So, you remeber now? "
' Yeah...I do. I'm sorry for jokeing with you. "
" Eh, maybe you just don't remeber, because of your simple mind!! "
He laughed hitting me on the top of the head. Maybe this is the reality and the sickness was all a dream and his death was all a dream and everything was all a dream. All of a sudden it got all serious. He stared down at me, looking deep in to my eyes. Pools of golden yellow was what I saw looking up. Contacts covering his ice blue eyes. I always harped on him to get clear contacts. It didn't matter now. All that matter was that he was here and not sick and lying in the cold hard ground, beneath a slab of rock.
" You know maybe this will help you remeber..."
He bent down and swept my lips up in a torrent of a kiss. It was like a maddening storm. But it was the sweetest thing. After dreaming about his suffering, I was so overwhelmed by this. I loved him. He was here. Maybe this was the reality after all. I love life. I hope it never ends.
" She might not make it. We'll have to see what time gives. What it brings. Until then just keep the faith. "
" Thanks for everything doctor. Can I see her now? "
" If you like. I'm sure you need the time alone with her. "
" Thank you. "
" One last thing. Why did she jump in front of that car? "
" If you really wanna know then I'll tell you. She tried to comitt suicide. Her boyfriend died a couple of days back from heart failure. "
" You mean Raresu Motosuwa? My wife was his psycholoist. I didn't know he was dateing anyone. "
" Yeah, not a lot of people knew because he was about 4 years older than her. "
" I see. My wife said he was a nice man. Enjoy your time with her. "
" Thank you."
The doctor walked off in to the hallway and I stepped in to the door. There she lay in a perfect sleep. She looked so peaceful that I almost didn't want her to awaken and face what she used to in life. Now that she lost him, I guess she thought she lost everything in life. But she was wrong. I was still here.
" Hey. What are you dreaming about, huh? A world with him still in it. "
I stroked back the strands of curls resting on her cheek. I did something I dare not do when anyone else was around. I kissed her softly on the lips and rest my head on her chest.
" I loved you too, Riris. "
~End
So, how did you like it? Shit huh? Well at least leave me a review! I don't care if it's a flame ethier. I was planning on makeing this into a story, but well I think I like it better this way, unless anyone has any objection?
~ Lots, of hugs to all of you who read! ~ I-Wish-I-Were-Dead ~
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