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• grivershini6
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Birthday
• 1989-04-10
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Female
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• Space Colossus
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• 2004-05-02
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• Zach's Bitch ahahaha
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• Lynnsey
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• College and things.
Anime Fan Since
• Four years old which is when I first saw Akira
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• Higurashi (When They Cry), Nana, School Days, Devilman, Hoshi No Koe (Voices Of A Distant Star), Loveless, Gravitation, Boogiepop Phantom, Yami To Boushi No Hon Tabibito
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• To ensure the happiness and stability of our future. To possibly have a family one day.
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• Reading, Website design, music, anime, fashion, artsy shit?
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• Uncertain.
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Saturday, January 22, 2005
Got the net back....
Well, here's a long post to keep you enetertained...I wrote it through the days I wasn't here. Yeah, I have ultra low self esteem. It's because of stuff. A lot of stuff. Stuff that my father has done, being molested by a 55 year old man when you are 10 doesn't help it ethier, and then all the guys at school say you are uglier than a ton of bricks, and then someone ultra close to you...(most of you already know about it) passes away and he was the first person to ever say you were beautiful and mean it. I know I don't have a bad life. Mine is great compared to a ton of peoples. I wish I could trade them my life just for a taste of freedom. I'll take the place of any 5 year old child who has to bust ass everyday to earn 5 cents a week. I just hope he doesn't get on Brandy's bad side ever!! ~^ But see ya'll laters. and thanks for the encouragement. I'll see if I can't get a goth piccy up here for you guys sometime. And maybe even put my kitty ears on for it! I just have to get Chris to bring the camera. I have one more thing to say...I saw my x, Josh at the mall yesterday. We chated for a while but I'll tell you all about it laters...well heres the week long post...I advise you not to read all of it for it is a loooong ass post. hugs! ciaou.
START OF LOOONG ASS POST.
Yeah this is probably gonna be really long...
Sorry for my recent absence. Phone got cut off and I was at my mothers Sunday and Monday. Even if it was on I think I wouldn't be on much. I'm just depressed, because I'm such a failure. But meh. Well, this is actually thursday in which I am writting this. I'm typeing it on my computer and saveing it o a floppy so I can just copy and paste it at school. I haven't seen any school all week long. I keep missing the bus. My alarm clock sucks balls. I set it last night and it never went off this morning, so I woke up at 7:35. I almost caught the bus except for the fact that I dropped a glass on my foot. It shattered and at least I had socks on or I would be in a lot of pain and no way to get help... God, I hate my clumsy ass. I spilt pepsi all over my bed last night and had to sleep on some towels and a blanket. And then this morning I spilt pepsi all over my keys. I watched a little bit of Jerry Springer and Maury this morning because I was bored, but most of the morning was spent crying, because I didn't catch the bus and it seems everywhere I go havoc and chaos follow me. Well right now I feel a bit happier. I'm watching/listening to Nirvana. I just got done listening to one of my all time favorite songs "Jesus Doesn't Want me for a Sunbeam" and right now I'm listening to "Sappy" because I miss Freddy and the song reminds me of him, because he loves it so much. That and I like the song too. I should find something that reminds me of David, but all the music i like he seems to hate...silly jingle balls. I miss Math class with them. And I haven't talked to Heather ethier...I miss talking to all of you alot. By the way here's what happened through out the week
Sunday night: Sat around, played DDR, worked on my kids book, baby sitted Ciera (my neice. I call her little Juicy, because of her adorable fat rolls and the fact that she always wants something to eat and drools a lot) she's the most adorable baby I have ever seen. And quiest too. She rarely ever cries. Fell asleep about 1.
Monday: Spent most of the day with my sister. Found out she is going into rehab for 30 days...I'm going to miss her. so we celebrated her few days of freedom. Went and picked her up some pills (expensive too 60 a pill). Went to Bobs...Then we went to the mall. It was fun except for the fact that I started my period... We went to see White Noise, but before we did we went to Hottopic...I'm going to be getting some new pants soon. Then after that we went to the arcade and watched a couple of guys play DDR...they were all right. they did one of my best songs on begginer A by D.J. Amuro. As we were watching them my sister asked me if they looked like they were worth watching and I said "no because I've never seen a good guy that looked prepy. All the good dudes are goth" one of em turned around and looked me over and smiled...and it scared me. I walked off...I wanted to play Tekken 5 but the assholes were takeing up all the time there. I also wanted to play soul Caluiber but a couple of little kids were there all the time. I wanted to play DDR but the to guys and another kid kept hogging it. So, i just played House of the liveing Dead. Anyways the movie started and it was one of the best movies I've seen in a while. It had a great plt and the worse thing is all of it could actually happen, because the whole EVP thing is real. It can come over the computer, phone, tv anything electronic...but what I wonder is if I one day open up the fridge and I hear a voice...would it be ghost or an eskimo??? lol.
Tuesday: Nothing noteworthy. Cleaned the house because my cramps were hurting me too bead to go to the school place. Cliff (Brandy's boyfriend) came over and theyr had sex so I just turned up the tv, but that didn't stop the noises...>< After that we went walmart and I finally found a copy of A Perfect Circle's "Thirtenth Step", so Brandy got it for me...now I just gotta wait for it and her other stuff to get paid off in Layaway so i can actually listen to it...at least i got it.
Wensday: well...beat Silent Hill 3 on the UFO/Revenge ending, and it was hilarous. I love the Silent Hill song!! ^^ I also read Ceres Celestial Legend. I'm hooked on that now. It's a good story...sad and good. I loveid Toya, but I really like Aki. He's so sweet. Nothing else really. Bored and drew a weird pic. Thinking about life and all it's depressing splendor. wow. what a contradiction of words.
hehehehe my moods are so fluxuating right now. swinging, swinging, swinging, tick tock tick tock, dead. I'm listening to "Beans" right...god I love that song almost as much as I love gir...now I'm listening to "They Hung Him on a Cross"...Kurt's vocals sound so pretty on this. I'm on a Nirvana binge right now...but the question is when don't I listen to them?? I have listen to them everyday since...for awhile. except when Chara borrowed my cd....I think I say probably say the are my all time favorite band besides Duel Jewel...I haven't listened to them for a while...byt the way I have advanced up to Light mode in DDR all in a week..no wait 2. I'm proud of myself...just gotta keep practiceing. I got faint headed yesterday and slipped on the mat and almost fell back into the table. It wasn't fun, but the funny thing was the cat came up and sniffed me after i did it...I wonder how Chara is...I wanna talk to her but alas no phone ecxept after 9. Because thats when free minutes start on the cell. This post will be the longest ever. Meep. Now I am listneing to pennyroyal tea...crying a little because I know why this song is my favorite...and none of you do...*sticks tounge out* Now I listen to Sappy once more and again, but this isn't the one of the dvd so it be diffrent and prettier. I wonder how Janelle is...she seemed to be doing really bad last time I talked to her..I hope her and Leo are all right. And Kei and Sam and Matty and Rebecca and Brad and Katie and Katie 2 and Aubrey and Heimantini (Hinaru...hope I spelled it right...) and Keiko and Melencholy and hope her freind is alright and Luminae and Sinny ( I still need to call her!!! >< ) and Vicious 2 and Selena and Brittany and Randy and Smurf and Angela and Dennis and Jillian and everyone else...I miss all of my freinds. wow I think I've been typeing for like an hour. You guys are gonna kill me bcaeuse now I am just rambleing and this is getting longer than..........................that line of dots.hehehehe there is the song title for me..." I hate Myself and I want to Die" hehehehehhehehehehe I feel psychotic...I feel like I'm falling...and theres no one at the bottom to catch me any longer...because he finally rests. No more wings, no more dreams. meep.
"And if you Save yourself you will make him happy
And he'll keep you in a jar and you'll think you're happy"
meep..lyrics to Sappy...
" And if you Cut yourself you'll think you're happy
Keep you in a jar and you'll make him happy
And you'll get breathing holes and you'll think you're happy"
meep.
Peep.
Look a sheep.
Sorry don't mean to be the sterotypical depressed girl. Drooling and dreaming about what used to be. About what used to live, but is gone. I feel like I need a blood transfusion, because my blood is dirty.
This is going to be the longest post ever. Becxause you never know when your last breath will be. Your last day. your last hug. your last kiss. your last time to say you're sorry. your last day to grasp everything you ever wanted. your last day to be with the person you love. I think about how many people have died to have what I have right now and I wanna just die myself. All the drugs that have been sold, all that people that were shot, and lives shattered in order for me to have clothes and a playstation and all the other stuff I have. Not all of it was dirty money but the mass majority was. I just hate how materailstic humans are. Always competeing to get attop the corprate ladder of popularity, but never realizeing how many people they step on, on the way out of thier hole. I'm just horrible. But I won't think about this anymore..I don't need to because it's not a good idea for me right now. I love all of you and I'm sorry that it's such a long post....but hey It'll tide you over until after Monday eh? We will probably have the phone turned back on after Monday or maybe even Monday..I hope soon, because I miss all of you and I miss being able to talk before 9... >< Well, hugs.
~Lynnsey...wait why did I sign with my real name???? ?_? X_X agh who knows...plays_with_squirrils_ over and out!
ps. hehehehehe I just got all the mp3s I lost because I had to delte kaaza back!! There is always a way around everyhgting on a computer...all I had to do was go do system restore and convert everything into a ZIP file!! ^^ meep! I have all the songs back!! ALL OF MY GACKT!!!! AND MY X-JAPAN FOREVER LOVE MP#!!! WHOOOOYT!
pss. I just got a notice form the court about my school abscences. I have to be in court on tuesday..yay fun. Just have to look nice, cry a lot and act innocent. It's probably (hopefully just a warning though...) My mom wants to talk to me about it and everything though....;_;
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