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• grivershini6
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Birthday
• 1989-04-10
Gender
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Female
Location
• Space Colossus
Member Since
• 2004-05-02
Occupation
• Zach's Bitch ahahaha
Real Name
• Lynnsey
Personal
Achievements
• College and things.
Anime Fan Since
• Four years old which is when I first saw Akira
Favorite Anime
• Higurashi (When They Cry), Nana, School Days, Devilman, Hoshi No Koe (Voices Of A Distant Star), Loveless, Gravitation, Boogiepop Phantom, Yami To Boushi No Hon Tabibito
Goals
• To ensure the happiness and stability of our future. To possibly have a family one day.
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• Reading, Website design, music, anime, fashion, artsy shit?
Talents
• Uncertain.
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
To Remind Me That I'm Alone....
I feel sorta depressed right now...
Like just deep in it.
I admit it. I'm depressed.
The irony kills me.
I miss her, because she's all the way out there beyond my reach of communication..But she is having fun. I mean it's Disneyland. Who wouldn't have fun?
I've been depressed for a long, long while. I've started cutting again...not everyday. Just every once in a while...when I feel the need to.
I never do it deep, nothing to leave any evidence behind anymore. Nothing to kill me, so there's no need for concern. I'll be gone in a few fucking years anyways. I feel like I needed to admit it somewhere, somehow, and no one here knows me in person, so there's no one here to look at me in the face and tell me how ashamed or how much they hate me or how wrong the think I am.
Or how sick I am.
I just need a release, a little something besides my chest tightening up, and me freaking in my mind.
I'm so tired of being afraid. I just want someone to love me, and there not be any lies. I want someone who will truly love me. And not throw things and scream and always complain about my best friend. She never did anything wrong. It was all my fault.
I can't take this. I can't take sides, because I know whose side I'll end up on. And he won't be happy, because it'll be her side. And I hate it when he says her art isn't good. Because I look up to it. She's the best artist ever, well her and her (I look through her notes and they make me smile, the drawings, espicially the Warrior Woman)(and the almighty Chelsea, and Hinaru...and also Philly-poo).
He says that I shouldn't cut myself. Yet, while we're doing it, and I ask him to cut me...he wants to and will. Whats the diffrence? Because you're maiming the one thing you wish to own? Because you don't want anyone hurting me unless it's you?
I don't understand.
I really don't.
I'm sorry all I put up here is how horrible I feel. I'm sorry I can't be funnier.
Well one happy thing...I have in my hands, 1-5 of Deathnote. Chris gave it to me early (it was supposed to be my xmas present) because I said I was going to read it on the net. He threw them at me and said "Go ahead and take them."
I read all of "Ai Girl" A short, but good manga.
You can find it and many others, including fan favorites, like Fruits Basket, in their entirety, translated from the orginal jappense by fans.
www.mangarun.com
No downloading necessary.
Some titles are still under their jappaense names so look through them.
There's a lot of good ones that haven't made it state side yet.
Thanks to Chara for the url.
And I've also been reading the much more graphic Gravitation Reminx and Megamix. It's english translated, and all that jazz.
The site that I read it on you have to have an account for, because of the graphic material. So, if you would like to read it and are too busy or don't feel like being dishonest to the mods, PM or mail me and I'll give you the site and my account info so you can. Be forewarned. Megamix is VERY hardcore yaoi and does include shota Yuki and Eiri material. Remix is bad, but eh not nearly as bad as Megamix.
Later days..
Love,
Lynnsey
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