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Birthday
• 1989-04-10
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Female
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• Space Colossus
Member Since
• 2004-05-02
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• Zach's Bitch ahahaha
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• Lynnsey
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• College and things.
Anime Fan Since
• Four years old which is when I first saw Akira
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• Higurashi (When They Cry), Nana, School Days, Devilman, Hoshi No Koe (Voices Of A Distant Star), Loveless, Gravitation, Boogiepop Phantom, Yami To Boushi No Hon Tabibito
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• To ensure the happiness and stability of our future. To possibly have a family one day.
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• Reading, Website design, music, anime, fashion, artsy shit?
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• Uncertain.
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Friday, December 8, 2006
Long time...
So sorry for the absence.
Some things have happened. In fact many things have happened.
I’ve been getting really sick again, so it’s been hard to make it school. I stayed home yesterday and talked to my mom about a lot.
Here’s what this a lot concerns:
My school therapist/whatever she’s called. She’s saying if things aren’t going to improve with my “outlook” they’re going to send me to this psycho place called, Penninsula. Don’t worry Chara. If I go I will bring you back a straight jacket somehow. But I doubt that’ll happen.
I got together with this guy. He and I have been together since last Saturday. But we’ve been talking for a lot longer than that, and know each other pretty well. And I know you’ll say “But Lynnsey, internet dating is bad. You don’t know if they send you pictures, they are who they say they are.” Well the neat thing about that is I saw him on tv. He was on the Doctor Keith Ablow show. We had a lot in common and I felt like I had to find him and talk to him somehow. So, myspace aided my search. I found him. Aric. We had been talking for awhile and then he asked me to call, because he really needed some moral support. I called him and fell really fast for him. He fell faster for me though. It was really cute. He’s been abused all his life and he has a hard time dealing with things. He’s mom and dad both abused him. It’s a long story, I’ll save for later.
I told my mom about everything. She was quite understanding and thought he should come down and visit.
Chris found out about us though and now my “I’m going to break up with slowly over the course of time. I’ll make him hate me.”
But he heard my voicemails that Aric so frequently leaves me. He called me a whore and all this other crap. I finally let everything out and just started crying. My mom consoled me, but I was just embaressed to show that much to her. I told her more about Chris and mine’s relationship, the things she didn’t know, things that no one knows but he and I. I think my mom is sorta frightened by him now.
Well, after a lot of talking and I told him that I wanted to break up with him. But he leeched to me and bawled and made me feel so bad for him. He begged me to take him back and give him another chance. He said he’d do anything and never yell at me again. Never hurt me in bed, never hurt my feelings intentionally like he used to, etc. All the empty promises and all the lies he told me in the beginning he said he’s bring to life.
I don’t care. I love Aric, and I think that he and I have a chance. Aric needs me. He needs someone to love him and show him that not everyone is going to hit him. That life is worth living and hurting yourself is not the answer to pain.
He’s so understanding of everything, because he’s still going through/has been through the things that I went through in my life. We can relate. He loves anime and video games and Invader Zim, similar music.
I hope that all this works out. But I know that me giving Chris this chance for the millionth time isn’t going to help anything. I want to love someone for who they are, not someone’s façade.
Chris in the beginning, the person I used to love so much, was all just a lie. He said he lied to me because he didn’t want to loose me.
But he will loose me. I promised Aric that Chris would be out of my life eventually. I’m going to make good of that promise.
But that’s been life for me.
How about everyone else? ^^’’’’’’
Love,
Lynnsey
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