Thursday, September 29, 2005

   So depressed.....
I need a hug! Lots of hugs! Please........
My damn effing stalker just PMed me on another site I'm on, and had only this to say: "Umm, recently I have felt that our friendship has slipped into a bog, however I do not know why or how . Maybe I'm just inaginaing things as I so very often do...but I have an inkling I'm not. I would like to address this together and if there isn't anything wrong, all well and good....
However if there is something wrong we can sort it out head on. You've become a good friend and I don't want to see our relatoinship "fade into the murk"."
If that stupid S.O.B still doesn't know why I'm pissed at him, I'll break his effing fingers!

But I've just realized something. I'm never going to get away from him. I'm never going to be able to relax at night, because I'll be wondering if he's going to try to call me again. I can't sleep anymore because I'm imagining all the stupid things he could do, and then when I DO sleep, I'm having nightmares about stalkers!!! And there's no way to get rid of him, short of dumping him in the middle of the Pacific with cement tied around his legs and shoot him as he drops, to make sure he dies.

I just need a hug from my friends. I'm just so......I can't describe it. Depressed isn't the right word, but it comes close. But I'm never going to get rid of him - he's always going to be there, like a shadow behind me, and I'm never going to be able to have peace again. I'm so........unhappy.
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   Wierd.....
Suddenly, I am once againt the go-to girl for people, and I don't even KNOW one of the people? Do I really come across as that helpful or something, or is it just because there's no one better?.....

Ok, just to clear this up for rosy - NO, I am definetly NOT a lesbian, nor ever will be. I didn't come across as one, did I, guys?? I assure you, I'm not. -_- I have no idea why I was asked that....it's rather disturbing, to be honest.

Now my stalker's little bro is acting like an a**hole as well. And I'm having nightmares about being stalked by phone, which I've NEVER had before. And I can't relax in the evenings anymore, either. I really need to do something about this, because I'm becoming a nervous wreck. I'm so glad you guys on MyO are here to talk to, or else I'd snap under pressure. ^_^

I just saw that they're coming with a third Shadow Hearts game. I beat the second one, haven't managed the first one yet, and I love 'em both. (I don't know if I'll EVER finish the first one, since I know the end, and it's sad.) I can't wait. ^_^ I want Shin Megami Tensei: Nocture, DDS, and DDS2, but I can't find SMT: Nocturne anywhere!! I'm going to have to go on Amazon or something, 'cause I hate getting sequels before the first one, even if it's not essential, ya know? The only time I've done it is with X-2 and FFX, and even then....yeesh.

Oh, I made $15 bucks yesterday for babysitting a baby and a two yr-old with my friend for about four hours. Not bad...

Words of comfort would be appreciated. I'm not lesbian, and I need something to soothe my nerves, please.
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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

   Hey
I've got a babysitting job with my friend tomorrow. Her baby sis and two-year-old bro - since she can't handle both of 'em at once, I'll be helping for $4 an hour. Her mom's price. ^_^

I have the first manga of Fruits Basket now. I enjoyed it! I also bought the entire first season of the 90s Batman series. It's so bad, but so good! ^_~

closet pervet: Well, why'd you tell me to get Lulu's ultimate weapon if you're so lazy!? %_% I know EvilMonkey wasn't the one who told me.....men.


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   Thank God.....
for little brothers! My stalker's younger brother is very nice, and I've been PMing him on a site we're both on. He thinks his brother's an idiot as well, and he just sent me a PM saying: "So, you basically don't want to talk to him anymore." FINALLY, SOMEONE GOT THE MESSAGE!!!!

I haven't been up to much since my last post. Still writing, and I wanna thank Chibi Hiei for reading one of my stories and helping me write it. ^_^ Now, if anyone wants to review.....*hint hint*

EvilMonkey: No, I can't beat your time. I won't even try.
closet pervert: I did get Lulu's ultimate weapon, but I'm unable to dodge all that damned lighting. -_- Any hints?! And you don't seem like a preppy jerk to me. None of you do. ^_^

Hrm....not much else to say at this point. Oh, thank you, stratuus - I just saw that you posted a link for my site on your intro. ^_~ Yeah! I'd do it for you guys, but I have no idea how to.....
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Monday, September 26, 2005

   Hey!
I didn't manage to get on yesterday - I was busy. I had Youth Study (like CCD for older kids) last night, which went realy well! I love our teacher, our pastor - he's really down to earth and nice. ^_^ And this one guy, Josh, kept looking at me the whole time. I didn't get a chance to say anything to him (-_-) but I met a new guy who was all by himself. I hate when I'm left alone, so I went up and talked to him for a bit.

Man though, those kids are STUPID!!! We were talking about the ten commandments, and one of the girls asked about stealing. Her question - exactly: My little cousin, when we were at Disneyland, stole a few things from a vender. My uncle found out but didn't return them. Is that stealing?
Poor, poor priest. He looked amazed. And then another was "isn't mercy killing for the best anyway?" Now, as a Catholic, we don't believe in mercy killings. We believe that a person who's suffering should have the opportunity to offer up their pain to God as penance, and hasten their journey to heaven. Now, if you kill someone, you deprive them of their chance to do so, right? Well, the pastor looked like he was going to cry. Mercy killing is forbidden by the Church, and anyone over seven knows it. How sad is that?

It's raining here. I love the rain, it relaxes me. I haven't been up to much, 'cept school and writing a LOT. And video games - I'm working on beating FFX again, and this time getting every single possible thing. I already got all my aeons. ^_^

RT: Teenagers are usually a bunch of preppy jerks. They only care about themselves, how they look, and what their peers think of them.
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Sunday, September 25, 2005

   1:32 am
And I'm still awake! ^_^ I'm a nutbar, I guess.

Hey, for any girls out there that have fantasized about how "scary" or "neat" it would be to have a stalker: IT'S NOT. At least, not with mine. -_- He's too stupid to be a good one. He's mainly just a pain in my ass, and my dad's going to speak to his grandfather soon. After being told not to call anymore TWICE by me and ONCE by my mom, he called twice tonight! I didn't even pick up.

I watched "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" tonight. Oh gosh, it was SO FUNNY! Especially the sperm whale part. But I won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it. But take my advice - DON'T try to understand it. Just go with the flow. ^_^ It's a great movie.

I'm not sure what else to post - my brain's short-circuted. Hrm...I'll leave it for now, I suppose.
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Saturday, September 24, 2005

   Nice....
I'm going to watch "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" soon. I read the book, and I'm looking forward to the movie. ^_^

I love football? Who else here loves football?! I like college better than pros, though. Why? Because in college, the players are still trying to impress the scouts, so they play harder. Resulting in higher-scoring games and a lot more fights. ^_^

RT: People can be cruel. But if you're cruel back, you feel even worse. Just try to let it go and get them back some other way. ^_^
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Pic
Here's a neat FMA pic I found - maybe someone'll want it as an avatar. ^_^



It better show up!

I haven't done much today - church and writing is mainly all.
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   New BG
Yes, I changed it again. I'm still using 1054X768, or whatever the standard size is, but it's showing up larger! Bizarre....I tried a Shigure one, and his chin was cut off. -_- And a Haru one worked ok, but this seems to be better. Like it?

There was something I was going to say, and I forget...damn it. I'll post when I remember.

I remembered it! I watched "The Longest Yard" with Adam Sandler in it, and I enjoyed it. I hate Adam Sandler and remakes in general, but this was pretty good.
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Friday, September 23, 2005

   Yes!
I just reached 400 hits on my site. ^_^ So happy! I love you guys......
I think I'm going to change my BG again. It's too pale for me - I want COLOR in my site, ya know? I'm off to find something....
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