writen at: 6:19 pm
listening to: Linkin Park
CD: Hybrid
Fav song: Runaway
mood: go to hell
Bishonen: Sanosuke Sagara from Rurouni Kenshin
Well, it was an up-and-down weekend. I'll start with Friday, how 'bout?
I'll just get the good stuff over with now, since that'll take shorter. We got a 360 on Friday!! ^_^ So, as of now, the games we have are: Call of Duty 3, Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, Dead or Alive 4, and Gears of War. Awesome! Also, I got the last three vols of Chrono Crusade - I love the ending so much more than the anime one! It's more...comforting, I think. And the plots were totally different...I'm glad I decided to get it! O_o Also got 7 and 8 of Bleach, since they didn't have 9 or 10 there. So, more manga!
Now, shitty stuff. Thursday totally SUCKED ass. A girl I know....how to start? Goddamn it. Well, a girl I know is being abused - verbally, physically, and my mom thinks sexually. I don't know what to do. I told my mom and dad, so they're doing everything they can, but I feel like I betrayed her, even though I know it's for the best. I feel that I should've known something was wrong sooner - that maybe I could've done something to prevent it, or help. I don't know - I can't really describe the feelings I have about it at all. You either understand, or don't, so please don't say you know how I feel or something like that unless you really do. It'll only make it worse.
I've had nightmares since then, I don't really feel like eating, and I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. Even on the 360, really. I feel like shit - I know I'm not the one that's bad off, but I don't know......I never thought I'd actually know someone that this was all happening to, you know? I want to DO something, goddamn it.
So, I'll have my ups, but I'm basically down all this weekend. I want to just curl up and cry - but I can't, for some reason. It really, really sucks. Beyond expression, honestly. I wish I could explain, but I can't. My parents have been really supportive, but they know I can't just ignore it. I just snapped at my mom really badly, and she wasn't even doing anything. >_< They're really trying to help me - I have to go apologize, since it was wrong. I just got in a bad mood all of sudden. (And NO, I'm not on my period.)
And, talk about being kicked while you're down. My brother found a rat running in my bathroom last night. (I live in the basement...) So, my dad beat it to death with an aluminum baseball bat. I swear to God - he did! I was upstairs, and all of a sudden I heard THWACK-THWACK-THWACK!!!! Kind of funny.....and to top it off, the things I thougt was dirt or bugs that I was finding in my room were...feces. -_- So, overkill on rat traps!! They haven't been touched, though, so maybe it's just one. It chewed a hole in my Visine eye drops - that are in the top drawer of my dresser. I found it this morning. So now, most of the stuff has to get thrown, so I got a new brush and things like that. Stuff that just can't be wiped off. But my parents are gonna get me a new dresser soon anyway - mine is my mom's old one, and it's literally falling apart. The bottom drawer is sitting on my floor. -_- I liked it, though.
So, please don't say 'just cheer up' or something like that. I really can't. How would you feel if you found a friend was being abused like that? You can't even imagine it, trust me. It's not something I can just ignore, or forget, or work around, or just cheer up and focus on happy thoughts. I really can't. If you were gonna say something like that, just don't, please.
I'm just so tired. I'm exhausted. And I'm not going to church until God shows me that something is good.
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