Monday, June 4, 2007

Time: 4:06 pm Mood: tired Listening to: cHaSeInG cArS! Quote: "I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be." Anonymous Hey all, sorry I'm posting so late. I just finished cleaning house. It was ok, but I wish it looked better. For some reason it feels I missed something.... *looks around* all well. So now I'm tired... blehh what a fun thing to do on my one day off. All well if it stays clean it will be worth it. Death Aihngel's family is coming down on Friday and I'm completely freaked out. I'm hoping I dont disapoint them. Cause I'm really quiet till you get to know me then I'm just weird. So yeah I'm worried about that. I had a rough weekend. My Dad was being awful! and I dont think I'll say anything else about it. Lets just say it hasnt gotten any better. and thinking about it makes me sick. but I will say what happend today. I went on campus to eat lunch and pick my sister up. after I walked Death Aihngel back to work I went to get the car and get my sister. I went to the spot I parked and the car was gone, but there were no other cars around so I thought that it had been towed or something. So I went to my moms work just to find my dad had decided to put more gas in the car and park it at his work WITHOUT TELLING ME!!! but since it wasn't important that I know!!!! *hiss* all well this is not helping me. laters

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Time: 2:00am Mood: depressed Listening to: Unwell Quote: "Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit." Bill Maher hey I feel like crap! with good reason I just hurt the one I love. dummes Weibchen, daß ich bin. I feel so bad about it and I know its my fault. alles ist mein Fehler. Things just keep coming up. And for some reason I can't get my mind away from my Senior year of High School? mein letztes Jahr gesogen. all well. I hate myself. I dont feel like posting very much. Crying has made me sick... I'm shaking. so later

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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Time: 1:14am Mood: depressed (yet again the happy thing didnt last long now did it....) Listening to: This Is How I Disappear Quote: "Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated." Coretta Scott King Hey The quote is all to true but how often does one want to get rid of the hate but they can't? just a random thought. Anyway, I went shopping today got some shirts and perfume stuff that I was wanting. Then I started feeling weird, like not bad but like all the negative emotions started wanting to claw their way out of me at once, I wanted to scream and cry all at once. I hate my life *sigh* well most of it, Death Aihngel is the one good thing and yes I am very much aware of the fact that I am yet again being negative but I'm sorry to say that at this moment I really dont care. I am a very negative person anyway and thats one of the things that was trying to get out I cant keep it in forever. I have so much in my head right now. I can't even explain all of it! I dont even understand some of it! I'm trying to get things clear but IT WONT happen! all well I'll shut up now. “Life is something that everyone should try at least once.”anonymous

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

Time: 12:43am Mood: In love Listening to: You Were Meant For Me Quote: "I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you." Anonymous Hey everyone! I'm in a lovestruck mood right now and I'm listening to Disney Love songs of all things!!! But anyway. Death Aihngel has been soooooo good to me. I love him so much! I mean words can't even describe how absolutely amazing he is! I love everything about him! *happy sigh* he truly is the perfect man... Wow.... I sorry you guys! I feel like I'm bothering everyone cause I talk about him so much! He is so amazing though! how could I NOT talk about him! He has awesome eyes! seriously! Even the shape of his eyes are beautiful! He does have the most breath taking eyes though. tee hee, his ears are really cute too *giggles* but ok, I was looking at quotes and thought I'd post some I put the ones I really liked in bold for variety sake. "Love is not finding a perfect man, but seeing an imperfect man perfectly." "When you smiled you had my undivided attention. When you laughed you had my urge to laugh with you. When you cried you had my urge to hold you. When you said you loved me, you had my heart forever" "You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear" "Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her." “Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you; when he is afraid of losing you. "Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning." “Love is just love, it can never be explained.” “It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.”

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Friday, May 25, 2007

Time: 12:29pm Mood: Content ^_^ (for once right) Listening to: Everything I Do, I Do For You Quote: "Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." Robert Heinlein Hey all!!! Well, I feel really good right now! I am completely in love with Death Aihngel! He came by my house and brought me a red rose and Extra Pure Dark Chocolate! Thats was sooo sweet of him!! I made him a hemp necklace ^_^ its red and black! very cool. Well on my way to work today I fell down 3 concrete steps and twisted my already bad foot a weird way and bruised my knee my knee was all bloody too. I still went to work. I didnt tell anyone there so I stood on my bad foot for an hour then waited 2 hours sitting (with some walking) waiting for work to finish. I'm glad I didnt get blood anywhere cause I didnt put anything on it till I got off work. then it KILLED and was all swollen like. Ok well I hope everyone is having a WONDERFUL day! hmm, this is one of my more happier posts :) enjoy it while you can. “Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.” ~Anonymous

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Time: 12:17pm Mood: dead on a fake caffiene high (yeah right) Listening to: Teenagers Quote: "For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else." Ralph Waldo Emerson Hi I Hope everything is going Alright. I should be awake but I'm Tired. I had a ton of caffeine Enough to kill an elephant or something. My puppy is inside now. Yeah, but anyway he's cute. Sometime I'll continue writing my story. Eventhough most of you haven't read it. Like, I wrote it last year. I For hells light, it was what we were doing.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Time: 12:55pm Mood: nothing? Listening to: "The End" My Chemical Romance Quote: "Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation." Anonymous Hey, well I really dont know what to say..... ummmm.... hmm..... I really dont feel anything right now. Its kind of creepy. I'm just here. Living, breathing and taking up space. But I must be taking up space for some reason. Cause I can't do anything about it. I mean the only thing I could do would be die but I've been told I cant do that. Which finding out why I agree. I hate college with a passion. One of those things I want to quit but can't cause I'm trapped. I went to target it was so lame!!! I found a movie that I have been waiting for FOREVER! I mean I've read the book and everything and my mom wouldnt let me get it! I was not happy.... She said she didnt want that movie in her house! Seriously! she wouldnt even have to see it! It would be in MY room! dang that gets annoying! I'm 20 and cant get anything without them checking it!! All well such is my life V_V I brought my puppy inside to help me not cut cause he has this weird thing with anything sharp he gets in my face and I cant get anything done ^_^ and I really dont want to anyway. tee hee I bought some of that Extra Dark chocolate! thats awesome just one bite and your hyper! eat the whole little bar and your heart does weird things!! I like it *insane look on face* all well it truly is Death By Chocolate!! To My Twin/Clone Thank you soooo much! You have helped me a whole lot! your the best Twin/Clone EVER!!!! dont you forget that! your the best! you were there for me when everyone else left! I will NEVER forget that!! NEVER!!! And to Death Aihngel I love you so much! I didnt mean to hurt you. but hopefully I can get over this thing with your help ;) thank you my love

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Time: 12:32pm Mood: I plead the 5th on the grounds I may tell the truth Listening to: Going Under Quote: "The thought of suicide is a powerful solace: by means of it one gets through many a bad night." Friedrich Nietzsche hey. well I'm feeling very nasty right now. I spent all afternoon yesterday cleaning my room. that was fun.... I feel really tired.... I wish that I could tell people things... but there are in fact things I have told no one... things I can't tell. they arent bad just there “To run away from trouble is a form of cowardice and, while it is true that the suicide braves death, he does it not for some noble object but to escape some ill.”Aristotle

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Saturday, May 19, 2007

Time: 11:08pm Mood: alive Listening to: My Last Breath Quote: "A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer.." Anonymous bleh, I had to work today, I seriously hate working weekends! Its annoying cause I get left out of things. Which really bites. Anyway. I did have a good day though it was fun. I went to Advanced Auto Zone(? I think thats the name) with my Death Aihngel (my love) it was interesting. Lots of car stuff like fuzzy dice! yay! fuzzy dice!! But yeah. now I'm sitting in my room, by myself.... its lonely but all well, I don't think a person can ever get used to being alone >.< loneliness is so depressing. I don't think it helps I'm listening to Evanescence... all well, I'm feeling kind of down anyway. I haven't cut for a week so thats happy. but I really am getting annoyed and even worst mad at som people... so I'm hoping that I can control it and not cut because of that. Cause I was doing a slight "contest" with my friend who also cuts. She was winning, but now she's cut again and I really have no reason to keep up because of that. And seeing her do it again kind of makes me want to also. Which I know is really pathetic but I can't explain it. I know I shouldn't do it again because it was making me sick before. I've been feeling so much better this past week since I haven't been doing it. I haven't been light headed and feeling like I'm about to throw up. V_V I am feeling really nasty right now. I looked horrible today, erm yesterday... anyway I dont want to put all my issues on everyone. so later

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Friday, May 18, 2007

I'm watching Eragon right now.... hmmm, its interesting I just watched "Over the Hedge" it was cool.... well I'm bored so later. I really dont feel like posting >.< later

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