Monday, June 4, 2007

One more week
One more week until school is overs
oh and heres a radio show speech thing Josh, Kenny and I did today for oral comm. Josh being Doug, Kenny being the special guest, and I was Danny
DN: Danny
DG: Doug
K: Kenneth
Panda Commercial
Josh: Open this weekend only, and only this weekend, the Panda Emporium. Yes this weekend at the Panda Emporium we are having a huge sale on Pandas. Due to a shipping error we are currently overstocked on Pandas Pandas Pandas, so they need to go!
Pandas, Pandas, and more Pandas! We have pandas of all sizes and colors. Big pandas, blue pandas, small pandas, polka dotted pandas, and even Siamese twin pandas.
Why do you need a panda you say? Well, pandas can be used for anything. Taking care of your kids, making dinner, watching grandma, taking out the garbage, riding to work, entertainment, playing catch, foot rest, and target practice (but who really wants to hurt a panda?)
So even if your just looking for a pet, a panda would be perfect as that companion or little helper. So come to the Panda Emporium. Pandas, Pandas, and MORE PANDAS!

All sales are finall and pandas must be taken to vet regularly. We are not responsible for any destruction of property, sickness, violent attack or missing children.

DN: Welcome back panda people your radio is set to WWSRTBS world-wide setback radio broadcasting tortilla station on channel 102.3 Im Danny AKA(senor awesome) .and my co-host beside me as always is Doug AKA(fancy pants mcgee)
DG: Hey guys
DN: What we have for you today folks is a short but special lineup in which we will have a small discussion on two movie trilogies that released this year that have gone BIG BIG BIG in profit. Then we'll head on over to traffic&weather to figure out whats going to delay us today. After a short commercial break well talk about popular music and whats it doing to children these days. Then well end our broadcast with an interview with none other than Kenneth the racecar driver
DG: If he ever shows up

Movies
DN: Ok well start to talk about Spiderman 3. I didnt go see this movie cause it looked horrible from the previews, but what about you Doug what did you think about the movie?
DG: Improv (too emotional, not enough action)
DN: Interesting Doug, very interesting. Well we'll call on one of our listeners and see what they have to say about this movie.
Caller #1 your on the air
blah blah blah

DG: Comeback or agreement

DN: Thanks ____ for calling in. Bye
Now what we have next up for our trilogy movies is POTC:3. I personally was confused after the first hour into the movie.

DG: Yeah I didnt understand it either, I think they didnt make it actual piratey enough (go into detail of real pirates)

DN: I agree with you there buddy.
Now well do a quick switch over to our traffic&weather guru, Dick Hertz.

DH: Good morning Danny.

DN: Good morning Dick

DH: Today in traffic there seems to be a startling phenomenon happening on I95 SOUTH. There appears to be creatures, almost humanlike, rising from the ground consuming the flesh of people in their cars. As the creatures, lets call them zombies, appeared on the highway the car crash rate has multiplyed by 100 and drivers are being eaten alive. Wait..hold on Danny, Im seeing some person down below who seems to be killing the zombies, with a.. a chainsaw?! Yes I believe it is a chainsaw. This civilian is sawing the zombies into shreds or at least trying. Lets see if we cant get a close-up and I believe its..NOOO it cant be, its Kenneth the racecar driver. He has an interview with you in few minutes. He must of got caught in the middle of this carnage while trying to get to the radio station. It looks like hes getting back into his car and driving over the zombies. OH! He just hit someone who was flagging him down for help. I just think this is sheer madness. Thats it, hes sped off, we cant catch him now because it seems my pilot is signaling to me that were low on fuel. Were going to land in that hellhole down there.
CRASH (static on radio)

DN: Dick....are you there Dick. Im sorry it seems we have lost our feed with our helicopter team. From here well go to commercial break so you and us here at the station can figure out just what happened.

BEEFCAKE
Someone: Beefcake. Are you a fat loser, lazy, tired of being called a pansy, do you have no game when it comes to the ladies. If this is you then you need BEEFCAKE. Its got the stuff to get you pumped. BEEFCAKE will get you riped, BEEFCAKE will get you the ladies. So beefcake has what you need
sculpted body, check
ladies, check
go get beefcake
BEEFCAKE
Beefcake located at any pharmacy selling horse steroids.

DN: Were back on WWSRBTS and right now were heading onto our music review with your music fanatic Doug dicussing a heavy topic today about lyrics in this song named "Now Your a Man". (Listen to song for a whiles until titties parts comes up)
CENSORSHIP --against it limits artists

DN: Well it looks like Kenneth the racecar driver has just arrived and is ready to speak. Hello Kenneth, how are you feeling today

K:(catches breath) Im doing great Danny. You?

DN: Pretty good myself. Its great to have you hear cause I wasnt sure you were going to make it because of the traffic and all.

K: Yep, I woke up late and had to rush down hear in just my boxers to get here on time. A few miles after I got onto the highway I realized I wasnt wearing nothing but boxers but I thought that'd be fine cause its just radio and the listeners wont know that. And I dont like to be late, so once I saw such all that traffic ahead of me I decided to take the lesser traveled root and started driving on the gravel & grass, but once I saw an opening I hopped back on. But once I hopped back on there were hundreds of folk's were dead, but still movin, walkin like, but missin a whole mess a limbs and body parts. LIke they was dead, but alive, I never seen such a thing

DG: Whatja do then K?

K: well then I remembered I had my chainsaw in the backseat, so I snatched it up and got out of my car and started slicing people in twine. That really didnt work out so I decided to hop back into my car and run um all over.

DG: How could you tell if they were zombies or not?

DN: Yeah how so?

K: Zombies? Hell I thought everyone was just grumpy like me.

DN: But not as grumpy as you?

K: No sir.

DN: Remarkable, now K I heard that there were a few zombies outside the WWSRBTS building. How did you manage to get past them?

K: Well my chainsaw wasnt doing so hot, so I pulled out my shotgun in my glovebox and started blasting away and ran up here as quick as I could

DG: Why did you have a chainsaw and shotgun in your car?

DN: Doug dont ask a silly question like that, im sure he has a very good reason for having a chainsaw and a shotgun in his car.

K: I had um for decoration

DN: See Doug, they were for decoration. Well it was great meeting you and getting to talk about your experience this morning Kenneth.

K: Much obliged

DN: Thats all for todays show everyone. As always Im Danny

DG: And Im Doug

DN: and you were just listeing to WWSRBTS on 102.3
Goodbye! (exit music maybe)

Comments (2)