Sunday, November 13, 2005

   Your Love is...
Whoa... how would u fuckin' know damn computer?! I didn't love no1 yet!!!

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	warm
Your eyes...	light up a day
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	refreshing
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	unique
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Comments (0) | Permalink

   How Good are you at Certain Things?
LMFAO... Wow... me? Kinky? LoL, yupp yupp yupp!!! {~_^}

How Good are you at Certain Things?
Name
Age
Favorite Color
Nickname
Sex - 41%
Romance - 61%
Self - Control - 62%
Kissing - 36%
Cuddling - 11%
Kinkiness - 99%
This Quiz by KillianO - Taken 3098724 Times.

New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

Comments (0) | Permalink

   My Busy Fall-Life in "General"
>>Tuesday, August 9, 2005 - (Now) Sunday, November 13, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok... I didn't keep my promise to write/type regularly in here... whoopz, my bad? Well, I've been really busy since the last time I actually posted about my life in here. Here's what happened since then generally, but I'm not sure if I'm going to say them in the right order...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to Canada again, then had band camp daily everyday pretty much until school started (& Drumline ended when band camp began) but had rehearsals every Tuesday & Thursday. We had very interesting bus trips & half-time shows... good memories forming. Also, we kicked ass our 1st Band Festival!!! Damn, percussion solo was great!!! Yet again... at our last football game half-time show, we did ok, but it was horrible since our instruments were soaked, our hands were frozen & wet, so playing really sucked...
We also had the Labor Day (2), Halloween, & Veteran's Day parade. I had to hold bannar on all of them damnit... it's not fun being the 1st 1z people see in that dinky uniform (except for Halloween... pit finally agreed to being thugz after contradicting grass, Peter Pan, & catz)... Yes, I'm a band fag, so screw those who have a problem with it (Haha, cuz we actually get to have trips... {= P})!
We also got section gear the 2nd to last football game. It’s a blue long sleeved shirt & red bottoms. For senior night, we went to Red Lobster with drummers & field directors.
I also got a 93 on my audition & am moving up to Wind Ensemble. Double L & I tied so we’re both moving up.
O… Friday, November 11, 2005, after the Veteran’s Day Parade & ceremony, I volunteered to waitress at the Spaghetti Dinner at the school. I served 7 people all night from 3pm to 7pm, and got a $1 tip… I felt so useless…
I also got glasses for constant wear. I picked them up later that same night.
Then yesterday, Saturday, November 12, 2005 was Cocoa’s birthday so we went & saw Chicken Little which was actually better than I thought it’d be. Who am I kidding? I loved it! I’m just a sucker for cute Disney movies. Anyway, Cocoa, Emmalz1, Abby, Maria, Taylor, Double L, Aubz & me were the 1z that showed up. Only Cocoa, Emmalz1 & me enjoyed the sleepover though because the rest cancelled with other parties or such. We played Clue, Shakin' Sorry, & Disney DVD Trivia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I forget if I said this, but I found Rayn the Muse cd & gave it to her before her trip. When she came home, she thanked me & said she got me a Detective Conan/Case Closed calendar I have yet to pick up, lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For school, I was pissed cuz they gave me both social studies 1/2 yr courses at the same time but I also chose to have 2 sciences, so I knew that called for trouble the 1st semester (but I'll get to chill more the 2nd semester with Foods & Computer Applications... but social studies is my fave subject so I'll be sad too).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I finished my summer Independent Reading (IR), watching the little movie of Treasure Island & just summing up the Manzanar book from what people told me, but was kind of mad cuz I read halfway & had to hand it in when I was just at the good part, damnit. I finished my 1st 9 weeks IR too for which I "read (as in skimmed)" Vol.1 of E.G.Poe's Raven Collection & "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" (this 1 was actually REALLY good... it's 1 of my fave books now).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sort of gained a crush on a guy in my advanced science & 1 in our marching band, but I doubt either of them like me... they're complete opposites too, so I don't know how I can like them both? Well, there's another story to both of them though of why I'm over them a lot, but I'll explain that another time... or not at all?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gz, anyway, I wrote this awesome narrative in english class & got the HIGHEST B cuz my prewrite & process weren't really good, but the teacher (whom I thought despised me the way she despised my sister with the evil fake smile) loved it & said she wanted to put it into a contest when 1 came up & that I have real "potential" as a writer. Am I not ALREADY a good writer? LoL... hmm, I don't care if she doesn't like me, just as long as she likes my writing, because creating, writing, & dreaming is my life!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drama... I tried out for the fall play "The Trial of the Big Bad Wolf", my #21 hanging on my shirt... there were 7 freshmen trying out, & only 1 made it at 1st. Then the morning after the 1st rehearsal, my name is called on the announcements to see the director sometime during the day, & I get a part because they forget to cast a Little Bo Peep! I was wearing my 4-leaf clover necklace too {^_^}... so drama sucked up my time for a while, but it was fun. I kept having to mooch rides from Mallory & Courtney.
Before the 1st show, I wasn't nervous, until all the seniors kept asking me, then I almost broke down into tears because it hit me they wouldn't be there next year!!!
Afterwards, we went to Eatin Park & Jeanne gave Courtney, Kayla (the other freshman), & me a ride. Before we went back for recall of the 2nd show, we went to Jeanne's house to get her cellphone, & she introduced me to Gravitation!!! OMG, I love it! She's the anime queen of our town!
Anywho, I was the complete opposite before the 2nd show... I was SoOoOo HYPER!!! I skipped around backstage in my big poofy pink dress singing the Scooby-Doo theme with my sheep under my left arm & my staff in my right hand, poking people & flipping my skirt (just knees down part)! LMFAO, every1 thought I was high or drunk... it was funny as hell!
The cast party was awesome too! I played DDR for the 1st time, & we watched Mirth & Mayhem & some funny things happened that I won't mention here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other stuff that’s happened: BIRTHDAYS (my brother’s, dad’s, eldest sister’s, mom’s, Abby’s, Maria’s, Cocoa’s), parents’ anniversary, work now & then, HUGE projects (Biology, English, & BOTH social studies), friends’ sleepovers & parties, our school cancelled 1 day from a false bomb threat & has had 2 or 3 fire drills so far, we’ve had snow & hail, people are getting depressed/suicidal, some classmates died in a car accident, friend’s mom killed herself, bitch friend cheats on her boyfriends & hurts another friend which is now going out with my awesome guy-friend Jimmy, I get asked to the dance by another guy-friend who always tries to make me jealous but never succeeds cuz he’s too much of a friend to be anything else to me (I still haven’t answered if I would go… trying to get some1 else to ask me {O= P}), 1 class has all juniors (except for me): guy I used to be taller than/girl who he’s got a fling with/1 who got suspended for tobacco on school premises, gone shopping now & then, shit-loads of homework all the fucking time, finally got my own computer, etc.
Also, we’re onto the 2nd 9 weeks because I’ve gotten my report card… all Az except for 3 Bz in Global Cultures (1 pt away damnit!!!), Algebra 2 (I hate that fuckin’ class), & Academic Biology (if only I had the memory to do my homework in there).
Oh ya… Izzy’s mom called me & forbids me or him to speak or see one another EVER again… he deleted himself from animetribe, Aruther’s stupid emails don’t answer my fuckin’ questions, & I’ve sent Isamu a note apologizing for all the trouble I’ve caused him… Isamu & Cutie never existed…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*QtNptnSwtE*~
Comments (0) | Permalink

   August Journal
>>Monday, August 1, 2005
We got back to my sister’s house around 1:30am. I got my stuff ready to leave, but found out I wasn’t going HOME (meaning I was COMPLETELY missing Lucky13’s 14th birthday bash! {T_T})… So I went on the computer to check my email. I didn’t respond to any of them though… wasn’t in the mood… I was half dead. I talked to some people though… I can’t really remember who or about what though… but I slept most of the day away. Then I babysat my niece for a few hours, talking to her (promising her a place to escape to when she wasn’t be able to stand her daddy anymore)…
My sister’s computer is fuckin’ mess. WORD hasn’t been working on it for about 2 months, so that meant I couldn’t update MyOtaku or Anime Tribe. I told her to get a fricken Virus Scanner/Protector, but she says, “It’s too expensive…” the cheapskate… It’s definitely worth it though (if you care about keeping ANYTHING on your computer), but no, don’t listen to me!
Anyway, it was funny seeing her get pissed off at the computer (But it was an even bigger treat to see her yell at her husband!!! {^_^} The only reason they HAVE to be together now is their daughter though… that’s the ONLY good thing he was for… I love my niece. The bastard of a father calls her his ugly, disgusting baby… GRRZ!!! He’d play with her maybe once in a while; then hand her to some1 else if she’d start crying!!! He doesn’t do ANYTHING AT ALL to take care of her!!! He doesn’t feed her; he doesn’t change her; he doesn’t even try to stop her tears… Forget it QtNptnSwtE… seeing his blood isn’t worth jail right now…).
I guess her nephew-in-law downloaded some Chinese shit into it that she couldn’t uninstall because she couldn’t read it! I don’t install anything without her permission, & I sway from downloading, because that’s a scary & long (I’m not the most patient of people…) business! The only time I installed is when I tried getting YM (Damnit!!! Yahoo Messenger won’t download right into her computer!!! It got everything BUT the Messenger!!! WTF?!?!), or get a file from a friend (but it scans it before I can get it, & they’ll tell me what it is. Then I delete it after I see/hear it, unless it’s something REALLY nice or REALLY funny).
I was in the computer room too, on this laptop, updating this, my poems, etc. Her husband (remember him?! 1 of the few people I HATE with passion?!) comes in & starts yelling with really bad grammar in his Chinese accent, “No1 touches my wife’s computer! I kick Tom if he did someting to it! What about you (He looks at me & says my nickname… Grrz… he doesn’t have the right to call me by my ‘family’ nickname…)?! YOU BREAK MY WIFE’S COMPUTER?! YOU’RE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON ON IT (please… give me a fuckin’ break!!! I’ve caught his niece & nephews on it before)!!!” & he just goes on & on accusing me of talking to boyfriends on there, & breaking my sister’s computer! If I broke her computer, it wouldn’t be on purpose! & I am very careful about downloads!!! I don’t do it… like, at all really!
Anyway, how can the ASSHOLE talk?! He can’t even use proper grammar, manners, or the computer for the most part! What if he was the 1 that did it, & doesn’t want to admit to it?! Huh?! Huh?! Why would I want to break my sister’s computer anyway?! If I break it, that means I won’t get to use it either!!! WTF?! That’s why I talk to my friends on here, while wearing my earphones, listening to The All American Rejects on full blast! So I don’t have to deal with the fuckin’ drama that’s ALWAYS in my life!!! I like to be alone… because no matter how close you are to a person, there’s always a way they can hurt you… this is why I fuckin’ isolate myself from the world… {T_T}… & even though I SHOULD share my problems, I just jot them all on here… typing/writing’s my escape! It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it’s there… or here? I don’t want to make my problems some1 else’s… they say misery loves company, but I just like to keep mine to myself. I love it when some1 can just make my living hell seem almost heavenly though, just because they got me to smile (smiling isn’t my forte) or laugh (my insanely embarrassing, loud, almost a snort of a laugh). My friends are the best, because no matter how horrible something is in our lives, we cheer each other up when we’re around or talking to each other…
GIVE ME A MOTHER FUCKING BREAK!!! I HATE THE IMMATURE, IGNORANT, NAIVE BASTARD WITH PASSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though he can’t go to hell, God, because I’m going there!!! & I can’t spend an eternity with the DICKHEAD!!! But I can spend the eternity with other philosophers, Satan, Hitler, & all those other evil people… just NOT him!!!
Nothing else really happened, then went home around 9pm (Ah… home sweet home!)…
I also have that ceremony tomorrow! I’m going to be bored out of my mind… & I don’t think I have anything to wear! {O_O} Oh, well… I’m a master procrastinator anyway… always making it last minute!

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Tuesday, August 2, 2005
1st of all… WOW!!! I got really deep yesterday… I still can’t believe I actually put such detailed information on my life here… I understand… it might be dangerous, but… when I write… I WRITE! Anyway, I don’t think too many people would actually bother to read such LONG passages/posts…
I woke up around 1pm & took a shower & ate brunch. Then at 3:50, my mama took me to Fashion Bug to get an outfit (because I didn’t have time to wash any of my decent ones last night). We got home at 5 & I got ready. The shirt I was SUPPOSED to wear turned out to be HUGE!!! It was lucky I got a few others. We left at 5:26pm for the All American Legion Award Ceremony. It was awarded to 1 graduating (as in going to be in 9th) 8th grade girl, & 1 graduating 8th grade boy. I was the girl, & Ethan (I think he’s my friend… just not the kind I talk to very often… we’re from 2 different worlds: Me from “weird” smart freaks/ Him from “popular” trouble-making jocks) was the boy. It wasn’t to start until 6, but I was to be there by 5:30 for pictures. It’s really lucky I only lived a few streets away from it. We both arrived almost simultaneous times.
Ethan got an army cut!!! It was weird seeing him with almost no hair, but I must say it suited him much more than his long, messy, emo, bowl cut (Yes, I’ll admit it… I had a crush on him in 6th grade, but I was young & didn’t know any better, ok?! Anyway, he’s got a girlfriend, & would never look twice at me… like I said… we’re from 2 DIFFERENT WORLDS!!!). I still felt short standing next to him. He’s a fricken skyscraper (always has been… but my heels were a good 2inches… oh, well, should get used to my height, because I don’t think my genes are going to let me grow much more…)!
We talked about how our summers were going. I mentioned I’ve barely ever been home, & he’s 1 of the 1st few people who’ve actually asked, “Is that good?”… I think it is in some ways, & isn’t in others, depending on where I go & who I see when I’m not home (but it’s nice to finally be back…). His was going slow & boring… & our parents started having some small talk. Our dads talked about business… & asked if they make me work (yes… when they need people), & they keep him “humble” by making him work. Ethan & I finally forced ourselves to talk to each other. I told him some about Canada, drumline, & summer reading. He told me some about summer reading, school, camps, & boredom. It wasn’t as boring as I thought it would be, because I don’t feel as awkward around Ethan as other guys from my school (probably because he was in half of my 8th grade classes… & was my partner for a history project in which we got a high D, changed to a low C when our teacher graded it on a curve, & SO lucky he did! We shouldn’t have split up the work… because he didn’t remember much, & barely any of the questions were for the part I read. Anyway, my grade wasn’t in danger, because History’s my best subject… he probably thought I’d do all the work… but we did an ENTIRE chapter in less than 2 hectic weeks… & I was trying to catch up in science… most of the people who had the same science teacher failed, but I managed to force myself to work for that A! I barely made the A for the final… that made me ecstatic!!!).
Anyway, we finally got to eat, so Ethan didn’t have to shred the plastic table cloth. After that, we talked a little more, then they finally announced for us to come up. They did me 1st. She talked about the award while holding it out. I was so nervous! I didn’t know whether to also grab it while she looked at me or what?! I just smiled, went for it & held it while she talked to me, then she asked me to introduce my parents… so I did. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to say anything at all, but I guess it wasn’t so bad? Still a little embarrassed I probably looked to tense or eager to leave… I got a certificate in a little folder & an 18K gold pin (that was $45… they left the price inside the little jewelry box! LoL). Ethan went next (well, durr-duh!). He got his certificate in a large envelope & a medal. They let us sit down again. The lady grabbed my arm (every1 seems to like my arm…) & said with a friendly smile, “I’ll look for your name & keep up with your achievements as you go on in High School, honey. I know I’ll see it in the future.” Not too long after, we were allowed to leave. I don’t know about my parents, but Ethan & I were *whoosh!* out of there! LoL. We bid good-byes & see you at school (With grim faces… Who looks forward to school? Hmm… well, I guess it’d be nice to see my friends more often again)!
My parents dropped me off at drumline. I was only a half hour late, surprisingly. It turns out our conductor & best (older, most experienced girl) were no-shows, & our instructor gave birth a few weeks ago, so she wasn’t coming back for a while. So the other experienced girl was supposed to lead us. She told me they hadn’t really done anything at all, & were just going to do exercises again. We’re so behind… how are we ever going to survive band camp?!?! Well, she pretty much let us talk, but then the co-conductor showed up to ruin our fun, so we HAD to play something. We did scales, increasing speed a little every time. Easy stuff, but I still had a few mess ups. Then we tried doing a new exercise, & after I got the notes & pattern down, I did it… decently? Anyway, we didn’t stay the extra half hour since the 3 important people were missing…
I got home by 8:25 (even though it ended at 8… my parents drive SoOoOoOo slow, & we’re only 7 minutes away from the school!). I got home & ate dinner then watched my FAVORITE non-anime show: HOUSE. While doing that, Cocoa called me. She had been talking to a few other friends of ours, & she found out some1 liked her. I guessed 2 names & both of them did! See how psychic I am?!?! LoL… I suppose I’ve been well-tuned with my soul for the past while. It’s nice, because I think I was guessing years or #s for something, & EVERY SINGLE TIME… I was right!!! {^_^} I think that was it for today…

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Wednesday, August 3, 2005
I worked today: 11am to 4pm. Then got to my sister’s, talked to people on MSN Messenger & AIM. I met some kool new people from Anime Tribe that I had an, oddly, educational chat with. I learned some new words in Spanish, in which I don’t remember anymore… LoL, & talked about beliefs, or points of view, & philosophies. They complemented me, saying I’m wise beyond my years, which is true when I’m deep in thought, but I can also be goofy, silly, stupid, & immature when I’m with friends.
~ “I ALWAYS feel like I’m looking out 10 or more windows…” this is my quote about how I ALWAYS feel… I always see so many sides to everything! Philosophies just naturally occur to me… thinking is just an instinct humans (well… most anyway) possess… I think in some ways, I’m an Atheist, but I still believe in God for the most part (maybe? I end up 2nd guessing myself a lot)… I still think I’ll go to hell though, just for practicing philosophy…
~ (Guess what? This is ANOTHER philosophy!!!) Showing real sorrow is better than showing fake happiness… never keep emotions bottled up!
My sister’s husband also had the nerve to walk in again & yelled, “Are you breaking my wife’s computer again?! Ya, you’re breaking my wife’s computer, aren’t you!” I just ignored him, & turned away. Then he just had the balls to ask, “Why are you so mean to me? I’m supposed to be like your, what is it? What do you call your sister?” I responded I call her my Ate-Lan, & he wanted to know what I called him… OH, HO, HO, HO!!! I SoOoOoOo DESPERATELY wanted to say, “I call you a mother fuckin’ immature, ignorant, naïve, bastard that I passionately hate, even though I hate hating people, but you’re the BIGGEST exception to that rule of mine, because I debate whether or not being covered in your blood is worth going to jail for!” Of course, we all think things we don’t REALLY mean when we’re taken over by wrath… but I ended up keeping calm, & telling him, “I don’t know… leave me alone…” & he just stood there. He repeated, “What would you call me?” Sometimes I wonder if he even understands English (I had to explain to him 1 time the definition of ‘prying’ because I told him, “It’s rude to pry into other people’s lives when they don’t feel like talking about it! My life is none of your business” but that’s another story…)? I said I’d call him his name. He chuckled… WTF?! It wasn’t meant to be funny, but he finally walked away… thank God!!!
I also solved the puzzle to who was bullying Izzy! I reviewed the clues/facts I already knew & figured out the identity of “ARUther”. Why I didn’t notice the 1st 3 letters of his name before, I really don’t know?! But I got a confession out of him & found out why he did it! LoL… I still have yet to tell Izzy he’s harmless though…

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Thursday, August 4, 2005
Not much to point out for today really… I actually stayed home & practiced playing on my bells, but that’s about it…

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Friday, August 5, 2005
I was supposed to go to the mall with Cocoa & another friend today for boy watching/flirting, but Cocoa & I couldn’t get a ride to go {T_T}, so I was stuck at home all day again…
But OMG!!! IdunnoU called ME!!! She might be moving back!!! I’m so ecstatic! She said she was going to try to ruin anything that would mean her staying there, so she can come back here for us!!! LoL, she’s been my gurly since 3rd grade, when I kicked her in the head {0=D}. That was a great, LONG story… We talked about everything imaginable, serious & stupid! Hehehe, what would I do without her?! She’s also 1 of my few other friends that’s into anime.
We put Izzy on 3-way. I was surprised his cell was actually on. He wasn’t very talkative, but I finally told him who “ARUther” was. Holding that piece of information was just killing me! I’m so glad it’s out… & I have an idea for revenge on “ARUther” but I forgot to tell Izzy before he got off. I talked to IdunnoU for almost 3 hours!!! {^_^} I missed our pointless chats. “Bpibpibpibpibpibpibpib I like ice cream!!!” LMFAO!!! Hehehe… see what I mean by pointless? That’s it…

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Saturday, August 6, 2005
I woke up, took a shower, & talked to Cocoa, Abz, JimmA, & Wayne on the phone. We greeted JimmA a Happy-Happy-Happy (belated) Birthday-Birthday-Birthday!!! I also found out in the conversation that Abz & JimmA like anime too! LoL… why don’t my friends tell me these things?!?! Now Abz might be another contestant to go to a Con with (Rayn’s a definite, & IdunnoU’s a maybe). Lucky13 also came over for half an hour. She was being mean to me {T_T}, but hey, I was right back {~_^}! LoL, it was nice to catch up for a little bit. She borrowed a few DVDs because… she was bored, I guess? We also talked with IdunnoU on the phone for a while. Not much else for today.

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Sunday, August 7, 2005
I’m now listening to Modest Mouse, my 2nd favorite band next to The All American Rejects. About all of their songs fit my mood the majority the time. I love this 1, it’s my favorite of theirs (& I forgot to post it in the ‘lyrics that describe me’ a few weeks ago):
The World At Large: “Ice-age heat wave, can’t complain. If the world’s at large, why should I remain? Walked away to another plan. Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand. I move on to another day, to a whole new town with a whole new way. Went to the porch to have a thought. Got to the door and again, I couldn’t stop. You don’t know where and you don’t know when. But you still got your words and you got your friends. Walk along to another day. Work a little harder, work another way. Well uh-uh baby I ain’t got no plan, We’ll float on maybe would you understand? Gonna float on maybe would you understand? Well float on maybe would you understand? The days get shorter and the nights get cold. I like the autumn but this place is getting old. I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast. It might not be a lot but I feel like I’m making the most. The days get longer and the nights smell green. I guess it’s not surprising but it’s spring and I should leave. I like songs about drifters—books about the same. They both seem to make me feel a little less insane. Walked on off to another spot. I still haven’t got anywhere that I want. Did I want love? Did I need to know? Why does it always feel like I’m caught in an undertow? The moths beat themselves to death against the lights. Adding their breeze to the summer nights. Outside, water like air was great. I didn’t know what I had that day. Walk a little farther to another plan. You said that you did, but you didn’t understand. I know that starting over is not what life’s about. But my thoughts were so loud I couldn’t hear my mouth. My thoughts were so loud I couldn’t hear my mouth. My thoughts were so loud.”
I’m going to bed now, at 4:25am. I’ll get back to this later…

I woke up at 1:45pm, ate brunch, then practiced my bells for sometime. Then, I got a little further in Treasure Island. After that, I listened to my fave CDs (some several times): The All American Rejects, Modest Mouse, Muse, Simple Plan.
I thought I was going to miss the 1st day of band camp (Monday) because we were going out for my brother’s birthday… but it turns out we were just going to combine the celebration with my dad’s later on.
Then I came across another MAJOR problem that I ALWAYS have with activities… rides to & home. *sigh*… I hate asking for things… I hate making parents feel like chauffeurs… but I can’t drive yet, so it’s either wake up SUPER early & go for a (LONG; 5 mile) jog, or ask… I tried the jog before, & I felt like like died… not to mention how many people seemed to want to run me over! But ya… I asked Lucky13, but she was get a ride from Lys, so I called Lys… but she had to get all detailed on why she couldn’t give me a ride (She could’ve just said, “Sorry, no, I can’t.” but she had to be snippy & almost snooty-ish about it…what did I do to her?! Gz… every1 seems to hate me lately… I’ll end up never finding out what I do to people… no1 tells me anything, damnit…). My last resort was Cocoa… & if I couldn’t get a ride from her, I had to say hello to some good running sneaks. Luckily, she was able to (for tomorrow anyway… I don’t know about the rest of the week…). That solved my problems for a short while, but I’ll have to solve this puzzle later…
I’m so fuckin’ behind! Work, work, work this last month {T_T}! No more fun… I have to read, read, read!!! Gz, why do I keep repeating words 3 times? Something’s wrong with me… I have a feeling that stress is kicking in early… I’m going to have to plan things better so I’ll fit everything when I start school. Damnit…

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Monday, August 8, 2005
I’m going to try to get some sleep before camp, now at 2:43am. I’ll have to wake up by 8 & get there by 9. I’ll tell about it later!

I woke up at 7:55am, & Cocoa picked me up at 8:45 for band camp. We got our uniforms.

It’s also my brother’s birthday.

------------------------------------------------------------

~*QtNptnSwtE*~
Comments (0) | Permalink

   July Journal
>>**Why haven’t I let myself have a boyfriend?**
I’ve been thinking SO MUCH about relationships & why I’ve never let myself into a serious 1 lately… I had to mention this 1st & foremost because it’s been bugging the heck out of me!!! So here goes… Reasons I haven’t had a boyfriend:
1) I’m not ALLOWED to date until I’m 18 (who’d want to wait 4 years for me?)
2) I’ve never really been asked by some1 I LIKED (almost every guy who’s asked me was a friend who was like a bro! Or some1 I barely knew… damn, I can’t know him TOO well or TOO little…)
3) I don’t do things just because every1 else is (a.k.a.: I don’t follow trends)
*4) I’m scared of falling too hard for (umm… in love with) some1… then have them break my heart later on… (Or maybe even vise versa? {x_X})
5) I’m still “young” (uh… considered “illegal” or “jailbait” LoL)
6) It won’t be fair to whoever HE is because I’ll have little spare time (but I’d try to make more if he was worth it…)
7) I get too shy sometimes (it depends on who I’m around)
8) I’m SUPER ticklish… [Why did I just say that? {O_o} Crap… I’m allergic… to… umm… people! Argh {>_<} Lol {=P} but maybe I have S.A.D./Social Anxiety Disorder sometimes because of that (which might also contribute to #7)?]
9) I’m not sure if I’m ready to be committed to just 1 person (a relationship means I’m not allowed to flirt anymore… {>_<} does that sound bad?)
10) Things happen SO MUCH better in my mind than in real life, so maybe dreaming is better for now? Real life can get tough when another person is let in.
BONUS) My sister told me, “Guys will do ANYTHING & EVERYTHING to get IN your pants, so don’t believe them, no matter what!” LMAO, she’s great…

~ BTW, I have another new philosophy: Good boys can be split into 4 categories:
1) Taken
2) Likes other good boys (My sister’s famous quote about this, “Damnit! It’s such a fuckin’ waste!”)
3) A bad boy that hasn’t gotten caught yet
4) All of the above

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Monday, July 25, 2005 continued
Got home from Emmalz1’s, took a shower, ate dinner, & went to sleep in MY bed. I can’t really remember anything interesting... LoL, yupp… that’s it!

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Tuesday, July 26, 2005
I woke up around noon, got up around 1, ate brunch, watched some anime (I haven’t in a LONG time… I’m so far from being an addict…), & got ready. Later on, I got picked up to go to drumline. There, I told the group I realized the only 2 experienced people are going to be seniors & aren’t going to be there next year! That made some of them totally freak, which was hilarious (but I’m also easily amused). They looked to me to be leader next year… *sigh* more work to come. I just wish I could have more time to practice & improve, but I got the stupid little tins to use, not to mention I’m barely ever home. We got assigned parts for the first show. Cocoa & I are pretty much playing Bells & Xylophone. The 2 experienced are on the Vibes & Marimba (Ah!!! I’m going to have to next year!!! {T_T} They’re big & scary… & there’s a pedal on the Vibes…). The auxiliary was split between the other 3 newbs. It was the most difficult to assign. There were so many overlapping parts.
It turns out there’s only 7 of us this year: 2 experienced seniors; (4 freshman newbs) 3 since 6th grade with past experience on other instruments: ME (3 years piano, 1 year trombone) & Cocoa (2 years flute); 2 freshman auxiliary: 1 always breaks bones (drummer since 6th grade) & the other’s a new student; 1 sophomore auxiliary newb with 8 years piano experience. There used to be 9 of us in the pit, but the to-be junior was moving or quitting, & the to-be sophomore moved (& boy was Cocoa ecstatic! The 2 didn’t really see eye to eye… in fact, I don’t know that many people who actually liked her {O_O}. I hope she don’t see this).
I still have to read my 3 summer books (since I’m in honors… {>_<} damnit, more work…): Treasure Island (I read 2 pages so far), Farewell to Manzanar, & a classic (I think I’m going to read Gulliver’s Travels). I also have to keep my promise to a friend that I’d write an editorial for his site, & a promise to myself to keep an updated, typed journal (that’s why I’m taking my sister’s laptop with me to Canada. So I can write this is WORD & also fix up my Anime Tribe profile. She doesn’t have the net on it, but WORD’s all I really NEED).
After I got picked up from drum-line, my mom, 1 sis & I went to WalMart. We got some groceries & necessities for Canada. I got a new duffle bag (since that sis borrowed mine, never gave it back; I used my dad’s, but it got ripped from overuse this summer… remember? I’m never home…), new styluses for my DS (misplaced the 1 it came with), & a fuzzy, sparkly, purple pillow case (to match my new sheets). My sis also picked out her birthday present (a REALLY pretty gold ring with 2 diamonds on either side of a mystic topaz gem).
As usual, the pair was taking forever with groceries or whatever, so I was bored & called Izzy. I talked to him for almost 3 hours, I think? Hehehe… a little past 1am, my mom told me to get off ‘cause my dad was sleeping already, LoL. So we bid goodbye, & there’s something I was debating in my mind to say, but wasn’t sure if it’d be too awkward, so I chickened out… anyways, I’m still “jailbait” LoL.

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Wednesday, July 27, 2005
My sis & I got yelled at this morning (oh, ya… surprise, surprise! I’m being sarcastic btw)… we woke up late. Then both of us got dropped off at our other sister’s. She got picked up for work, & I re/un-packed for tomorrow. I slept most of the day away (I never sleep right… probably only had 3 hours)… took a shower, then I checked my Anime Tribe… that was a MAJOR head-ache… 67 fricken messages! Almost all of them were Forum posts, Tribe invites, & Friend Requests… can I scream now?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Hmph… I think I’m done… anyway, not much else to highlight for today.

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Thursday, July 28, 2005
I had to wake up at 10am to get ready to go to Monroeville Mall & baby-sit my niece with my sister’s niece-in-law (I think we’re 1 year apart? & she still doesn’t know much English, so communication is difficult). She was working in place of her husband (who I loathe… she could’ve done SO MUCH better… but anyways, he went to a business conference…). LMFAO!!! We ate, & I accidentally threw the tray away (I was NOT awake, apparently)!!! HAHAHA!!! That was the highlight of my day… $6 down the drain for her hubby, LMAO… other than that, everything else was pretty boring there…
We got back to her house around 1pm. I took a shower, got my stuff into the car, & talked a while on her computer. I got invited to BrokN RubBa’s birthday sleepover, & she was ecstatic about her birthday present. She got tickets to the WARPED TOUR!!! LoL, lucky her… I still haven’t gone to a concert (if you’re wondering, yes, I am very jealous… {=P}). She still doesn’t know who she’s taking, but she showed me a list of who’s playing… boy was that a huge list! I knew about 4 names out of maybe… 25? They were MCR (My Chemical Romance), The Starting Line, Relient K, &… I think it was the Ataris? I so badly wanted to see Simple Plan & Good Charlotte, but I think it passed already. Oh, well…
Anyway, we left for Canada around 5. We stopped by a McDonald’s & ate. I got to the 3rd chapter of Treasure Island (but I got to hurry… less than 4 weeks with 2 more books waiting damnit!). Finally, we arrived at our destination around 11pm. We were fine until we got to the streets they live on… LoL, my tita & grandma had to stand in the middle of the road waving their arms to catch our attention. We unloaded & went to sleep… but I’m an insomniac, & I kept waking up every 20minutes… just my night routine, but I’m going to need to get back on track soon. School’s nearing every second {T_T}…

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Friday, July 29, 2005
Breakfast: assortments of Filipino foods. Lunch: Fish & rice. My 1 tita picked up her granddaughters (my 2nd cousins, but I call them my nieces). Then, we went shopping at the Promenade Mall. I had $30 US converted into almost $40 Canadian? I bought a new wallet, glasses case, & a surprise bag at this little Sanrio store. It was cute. Later on, we went to a few Asian food stores. Yummy! I got banana/chocolate, strawberry/chocolate, & coconut/chocolate Pocky, & a whole load of other snacks my sis & I were splitting up when we got back to home sweet home. They got ingredients for kare-kare, which we had for dinner. They also made an ube halo-halo. *sigh*… I’m going to get fat when I go to the Philippines next year, LoL… too much yummy home cooking! On the way back, I saw a sign for Canadian Idol! That was kind of kool (I know, I’m a dork). I asked about it, & they said it was STILL going, & one of my cousin’s friend’s was still in it. When we got back to their house, my 1 cousin was there with her daughters/my 2nd cousins or nieces. I played with them for a while. Then I started updating this, & getting my grandma & titas’ help on fixing up our family tree. Boy is it big! Well, now my 1 niece is setting her cute little goo-goo eyes on this, so I’ll save this & let her type a little {^_^}… she couldn’t do much damage… I hope…

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Saturday, July 30, 2005
I went to church for the 1st time in 3 years today! My sisters went into the nursery with my (actual only) niece. I was going too, but they told me to stay with our mom, so she wouldn’t be alone. It was really boring… they spent the 1st hour talking about expenses, trying to get money out of the members. Grr… this is why I’m glad I don’t normally go to church. They charge you to love God, & it’s EVERY week! Isn’t that a l’il much? I mean… people go to church to thank him (I understand that), & beg for things… how would you feel if people always asked you for things? Wouldn’t you get annoyed? Sure, I thank him in my prayers, but if we need or want something, we can’t just beg him & expect to have it the next day! You got to do something about it. That’s CAUSE & EFFECT for you! Though, the sermon did enlighten me into ANOTHER philosophy… (Wow I’ve been having a LOT of these lately!):
~ Nothing is free… not even FREEdom. There’s a price for everything, & there are consequences if you don’t do an equivalent exchange or follow the laws/rules/regulations.
There was a potluck afterwards. 1 of my mom’s old friends just grabbed my arm & takes me somewhere… she wanted me to meet her son!!! His name was a Filipino SDA [It was a Filipino SDA church after all! Though, I usually don’t like Asian boys (even though I’m an Asian girl), but he could’ve been an exception {~_^}]. He smiled at me *melts {=P}… I smiled back {^_^}*! & was clearly checking me out, *giggle & blush*. Finally, he mustered to say his name was AJ & that he was 17 & ask for my name & age. Uh… he was freaked when he found out I was only 14… hehehe… His mom then asked how old my sister was (Gz, just move on down/up the list, huh? She’s 21. I’m too young, & she’s too old, LoL)… he looked at his mom with a sort of, concerned look… probably wondering why she’d hook him up with “jailbait” LoL… she thought I was older too! I didn’t know whether to take it as a compliment or insult? Another thing though… I was wearing 2inch heels, & was almost as tall as him!!! If I’m still growing, that is a VEWY, VERY bad thing! {=P}
Around 2pm, we got seated for my cousin’s elder daughter’s (my niece’s) VBS graduation. It didn’t start until 2:30 though. The songs were cute, but they were still trying to get money out of parents. My mama, tita, & 1 sister left early. They gave out awards for best campers. None of them were even SDAs, or members. The church was bribing & advertising again… ugh! Anyway, it finished around 4pm, I think? We got out, & the lady that tried to hook me up earlier, went over & took my arm, smiling at me (Can you say, “Creepy?!” {=P})… She said her sons wanted her to come ask me & my sister to sit with them, but she told them to do it themselves, but they were too shy (not good… c’mon! I need some1 comfortable around me & vise versa!)! She kept trying to find out what we were doing later, but we truthfully didn’t know at the time… we make up plans on the way… because they never stay the same anyway!
We got back to their place, & boy was I relieved to finally change into comfy clothes!!! I got out of my sleeveless pink shirts (it was the layered look), long gray skirt (with side slits from mid-thigh down), & black heels. Then I slipped into a T-shirt, jeans, & my pink KangaROOs (Ah… so nice to not have every1 saying, “Ay! Dalaga na ekow!” meaning, “Wow! You’re a lady now!”).
My 1 other cousin was there with her hubby & son. We didn’t stay in the house long though, because we ended up going to her house. It was nice, & I helped my little nieces & nephew on the mini slide on her back patio.
Then my other cousin, her husband, my sisters & I left for somewhere. We arrived at this huge Asian market place! They sure do have a lot of those here… they had SO MANY nice things… nice clothes… yummy bubblegum drinks (I think that’s what they were called? It’s like a slushy with these gummies in the bottom… I originally got banana, but my cousin’s honey dew was REALLY yummy!!! She was nice & switched me. She said she could get them any time, but I was only there for a few days. Oh, no… I’m making myself thirsty! LoL {=P})… & ANIME merchandise, soundtracks, originals, & English dubs (I also found some REALLY scary hentai… that I wish I didn’t come by {>_<})!!! I got 2 soundtracks: SaiYuki & FMA, & a Sister Princess mouse-pad. There were so many other awesome things in that store, but I didn’t have any more Canadian money… I never got my $40 US converted… but we got KFC chicken. They don’t have biscuits or mashed potatoes in Canada!!! I was going to flip! But they had pandesal, puto, & katchinta there anyway…
I ate on the patio outside with my sister & niece, while everyone else ate & watched Triple X 2 inside. I didn’t want to watch because I hadn’t seen the 1st 1. A bug flew into my orange soda! Grrz… but the dinner made me full, & I went inside. I started chasing my nephew around, playing monster. He got a kick out of that… Then, my other little niece showed me her ball (the kind that glows when you hit or bounce it against something). Her daddy put the ball in the back of her shirt, & it was cute to see her try & find it. She kept spinning in circles until her dad felt bad & took it out & placed it on the floor, but she didn’t notice, so he put it in the front of her shirt… LoL, she still couldn’t get it out! Anyway, I went back on the back patio, & my niece & nephew followed me. My other niece & sister were on the see-saw. The 2 smaller 1s went on the slide again, so my sister went to help them with that, & I joined our other niece on the see-saw. Then we started taking pictures. My nephew had to go inside again though, because he had a little cold.
We left my cousin’s house. My niece begged her mommy (my cousin) to sleepover her lola’s (my tita’s) house so she could be with us! {^_^} She got her way & we stayed up until 1am. We drew pictures, sang some songs, ate some (healthy… fruit) snacks, & listened to some Disney music [Yes, I’m a sucker for cute Disney movies & soundtracks! I grew up singing to Princess Songs (Ariel, Pocahontas, Jasmine, Belle, Cinderella), ok?! So sue me! I’m a kid at heart & love to be around my little nieces & nephews!]. Then, my sister pointed out to me she wouldn’t sleep until I did, so even though I’m an insomniac, I went to sleep for her sake. She needs her sleep & I do too… but mine is just really unpredictable.

------------------------------------------------------------
>>Sunday, July 31, 2005
My niece kept trying to wake me up to draw her something. I did my best to hide under the covers until she stopped (I didn’t want to prove I wasn’t a morning person… or to give a bad example… children are so impressionable). She never stopped, so I got up & did my morning routine, then sat for breakfast. She sat there drawing & telling her stories, & I was her listener. Once I finished, I drew her a little landscape sketch. She then begged to be my hairstylist, but I wanted to take a shower before lunch. Somehow, I let her anyway. It was funny, & my sister took pictures, but I looked like shit, because you know… I sort of just woke up… but I took a shower. Then drew a few more pictures for her, & she tried to mimic my drawing style. She did ok. But we had lunch, & her mommy showed up. They got more bubblegum drinks. She got me honey dew again… Yumm {^_^}!
Anyway, we started loading the car. Once we finished, we took a load of group pictures. Finally, we bid our sad good-bye hugs. We had 3 hours of traffic to just get across the border to the US! It was SoOoOoOo boring!!! I got to chapter 5 on Treasure Island, but I couldn’t focus anymore, so I started playing Sims: The Urbz on my DS. I had a saved game on it from June 3, when I went to Cedar Point. It REALLY freaked me out, because it foreshadowed events for me, & I just realized it by my character’s name. I beat it already with a girl character named Em. So I had a boy character that was still on the 1st level… & its name was… was… Izzy!!! OMFG!!! I’ll need to tell him about that. *scratches chin, then thinks* Wow… I didn’t even start calling him that until the mid-July I think? Freaky… I stopped playing & turned this on to fix up the family tree… but it got me agitated, so I updated this a little more… then I fixed up my Anime Tribe profile I had saved, checking over everything… but I got really bored… & I turned my CD player on & tried to sleep… I lasted 20minutes, on & off. I was starving, & started opening the snacks, & ate a little bit of everything, & forced myself to stop… I turned my CD player on again…
We finally passed the border into NY. We stopped by the 1st food place we found, which was Burger King. I ate a 4th of my whopper, all of my onion rings, & barely any of my slushy. I probably spoiled my appetite, but I’m also not a big fast food fan…

------------------------------------------------------------

~*QtNptnSwtE*~
Comments (0) | Permalink