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Sunday, July 24, 2005


   The sun'll come out... today in a few hrz, LoL
Well, dang... 2:32am! Haha... saw the movie "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory." Wow, that was... fun... interesting... & embarrassing. Johnny Depp can REALLY act. He's been in so many movies, & has such a diverse bibliography... not to mention he is hott! Damnit, I think I've been around Emmalz1 too much, lol. Emmalz1, Cocoa, Jess (& her l'il sis Madison), & me went (Rayn couldn't come {T_T} & is leaving in less than a day now). I think we talked through the entire movie... well, THEY talked through the entire movie. I know it's disrespectful, & I was too into the movie anyway. It wasn't a continuation, but a remake, & a pretty darn good 1 (in my opinion). It's weird (an overly used word in the movie {=P}) how my friends are crazier than me, lol. I guess I'm the "shy" 1 out of us, cause I have a conscience, so is that so bad {=P}? I used to be the influence on them! I've created monsters! Lol, but now they influence ME! LMFAO... we were discussing that when we got out. But we stayed in there past the credits & danced in the very front under the screen, lol. Every1 was gone anyway... then a maintainance (I can't spell) dude came in & made me feel REALLY short, lol... but he ignored us & just did his work.
My sister also called me while we were walking out of there... it turns out her trip is going REALLY shitty... I felt so awful I could barely hear her with all the people around... we were walking around the cinema & the little center they had there, while we waited for Emmalz1's mom... & Jess (& her sis) left once the movie was over. Anyway, it turns out my sister & her friends stayed in a room & didn't do ANYTHING AT ALL... I guess there was some fights? Speaking of fights, Emmalz1 & Cocoa were in the parking lot of the theatre fighting for fun (just the soft hitz & big talk). It was hilarious... & boy did people think we were insane! Hehehe... then they started joking REALLY LOUD about crack, because it came up somehow after talking about jokes & butts (that was just oh so pleasant). Some people came by & I heard them say, "Those l'il girls smoke?!" LMFAO... I told them, & they spotted the people & yelled, "NO, THAT'S WEED!" LMFAO... It's just too funny...
We also went to DicksSportingGoods to loiter since it was right next to the cinema (They had PINK tennis balls!!! Lol... I'm going back sometime {=P}. Gz, what's wrong with me?! Pink... lol). Then ShopNSave to get some chocolate, cause you can't NOT want some after a movie like that! Lol.
Once we got our chocolate, we were outside the cinema loitering again, sitting/standing/ or w/e on the rails in the front. Some guys in some car passed by & yelled, "Hey girls!" in that provacative way, & Cocoa yelled back in a similar tone, "Hey Sexyz!" They busted out laughing & kept driving, lol. She & I love doing that on the SkyRide thingy at amusement parks! It's such a funny game, & reactions are just so crazy {=P}. After they left, Emmalz1 just hopped onto the railing strattling it like it was a horse, & kept saying how much it would hurt if some1 pushed her while she was like that, LMFAO... so ofcourse that triggers Cocoa! She attempted, but Emmalz1 got off too quick.
Finally, they both bug me to call Izzy again & see if he finally answers. I attempted 3 times earlier on Cocoa's phone... she's got free roaming, darn her. She was using it at the moment, so I ended up using mine. He picked up! Lmao... then I had to call him back on Cocoa's phone. Well, that was fun talking to him... but I was nervous, lol. I just rambled/mumbled or w/e on & on... silence kills... I'm so much better at writing...
~ {Another damn philosophy that just came to me} If you say something, you'll never be able to take it back, or change it. If you write something, you're free & words are in your control. ~
Lol... I think outloud all the time too, so it's so difficult for me to lie! Damnit {>_<}, lol. Well, I was trying to catch some white dandelion fuzz I spotted floating while I talked to him. LMFAO... I focused for 2hours on that movie, so my intention span completely shortened!!! I didn't catch the fuzz, lol... I was too short. But then in the car going back to her house, the sky was so nice & full of stars! {^_^} Damnit, ADD again, lol. OMG! Cocoa talked to Izzy too, LMFAO! She asked him if he was gay, then started trying to hook him up with these guys from our school, LMFAO! My friends are so mean, lmao. Izzy, if you're reading this, I apologize for my moronic friends, lmao. Kind of scary to find more psychotic people, but great at the same time... never a dull moment if you can't tell already {=P}?
Once I finished talking to him, we were discussing "Emmalz moments" LMFAO... at another party, about 2 months ago, I ran fullspeed into a volleyball net! LMFAO... in daylight, {>_<}. Lol, my ear got caught into the strings that hold it up, but I came out of it ROFLMAO without any scars. Cocoa pulled a similar move, but in the dark, hehehe...
We watched music videos for a while, then her mom started watching "The Color of Purple" or something with purple in the title... so we ate some EDIBLE food (aka: pop, waffers, & chocolate), lol. I also split a homemade roast beef sandwich with Cocoa. Emmalz1's mom called us "WEIRD" because we split 1! Lol... I just love compliments {=P}! I started joking I should be a vegetarian... haha, her mom took me seriously! There's no way I could... you just can't escape meat. Lol, I could be if I wanted, but meat is a big thing that you just can't ignore. It's eat, or be eaten/Kill or be killed {=P}. She then put the Jeff Foxworthy Show on... I have never seen it... but I just couldn't pay attention... so I went to tick off Emmalz1's hamster... that's always fun! {^_^} Hehehe... just cause I have a thing against hamsters. They're cute, but the darn things bite!!!
Later on, we started listening to my Phantom of the Opera soundtrack on her computer, because we were trying to sing Christine's extended "of" in "Think of Me" & skipping scales in, "Phantom of the Opera" then just watched the movie on the comp, lol. That was fun seeing Emmalz1 try to figure it out. I kept taking 1minute naps in some of the Phantom's singing scenes... his voice just lulls me to sleep {~_~} for some reason, haha.
Everyone's asleep now upstairs, & I'm doing this post. I won't be back until Wednesday, then maybe the following Wednesday again? Lol, I really don't know... I'm only staying tonight at Emmalz1's too. I have to go with her to an eye check-up around noon later on today. I should go TRY to sleep now... it's 3:40am. This has become my diary I think? Heh... I doubt any1'll bother knowing about my life... it's overall, BORING! Lol... I love detail though, & MUST write about everything to be satisfied! I live to type/write... it's 1 of the things that keeps me alive... I'd probably die if I couldn't do this anymore... I LIVE for that day I'll see my name on a novel's spine. Well, I should let my pet (imagination) run wild now. Hopefully, I'll remember what it does though... forgetfulness sucks. Diaries help tons (I've never actually been able to keep up with 1 though. My hand cramps up, the eraser shreds to pieces, I run out of lead more often, etc. Typing with new technology is SO MUCH nicer & easier)!

~*QtNptnSwtE*~

P.S.
Kaly & Izzy responded. Our "situation" is still on the brink of confusion (for me anyway). Why must there always be drama? {=P} Lol, oh, well... I should check my AT because I know there's a ton in it, but I guess I'll have to wait. Grrz... patience is a tough action to master... I'll have my work cut out for me the next time I check it... in more or less than a week... I usually find out about everything last minute... dang... procrastination...

P.S. again
LMFAO... I've gotten SO MANY chain letters without forewarding them, & my life is actually getting better! LMFAO... weird huh? I remember I used to be young & naive about them, believing they were really true, & thinking luck was a great thing. I was such a fuckin' pussy! Lol, I sent a wish 1 to every1 wishing I'd never get another chain letter, & it was within 5 minutes too. Can you tell it didn't work? {=P}. I don't believe in luck anymore, but I believe in karma, destiny, & coincidences. Yupp, I think I'm FINALLY done with this post... at 4:15am! LMAO

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Saturday, July 23, 2005


   'Tis July 23rd, 2005 Now.
Steph's party was fun! It started at 7pm last night, but I arrived at 10:30pm, I think? Lol, I had to go to EckeRd (last minute shopper {=P}) to get my allergy crap, some cards, etc. I stayed awake until 6am. We had ice cream & made a mess, getting it on each other. Hehehe... so immature, but still fun. Her parents rented "Cursed" for us, but we never paid attention. We'd zone in & out of the movie... most of the girls played Sorry while it went on, but Kayleigh was trying to fall asleep, & I was writing a draft for of my response to Kaly. Writing really helps me sort out my thoughts.
LMFAO... this morning, my cell alarm went off for 9:45am. It was right under my pillow, but so was my cd player. LMFAO... my cd player automatically turns off when the cd completely plays through, & I usually fall asleep through the middle. Well, I woke up because my alarm sounded, & I must've really been out of it, since I started hitting my cd player & screaming, " Why won't you turn off you fuckin' retarded piece of shit?!?!" LMFAO!!! I'm REALLY not a morning person {=P}. We had Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. Emma picked me up around 12:30pm. I'm using her computer right now, lol. She typed up the draft I wrote for Kaly (because she was on earlier & just decided to not let me), & then I sent it... my, oh, my... I also sent Izzy a copy, because I feel like he needs to figure out what he wants too...

Here's what Kaly wrote to me:
I tried sending this on AT but it seemed to eat the message... It's Kaly. Isamu told me he told you about me. I don't know what he said. I don't want you thinking I'm a bad person. :/ His mother & brother hate me but they don't understand... they think I'm playing him or something. That I don't really care. I say it's been over a year if I had just been playing around, he would know. >< It's hard to explain... I feel like I'm being so greedy but my heart is bleeding. :( Do you think people can love more than 1 person? I didn't use to think so. But I had a boyfriend when I met Isamu online, and Isamu knew I did since he and my BF were friends... and my boyfriend wanting me to be happy let me meet Isamu in real life. I tried to keep Isamu away. I was afraid we'd all get hurt. But he kept following me around in the game we played FFXI, and I fell for him. I don't know why I couldn't resist. He was so sweet though, so tender so caring... When I was depressed he was there for me. If I had had a problem with my BF he would hold me, comfort me...I was his kitty. I even created a kitty girl in the game we played for him, named Kaly. So Isamu and I got together July 12th of 2004. This is real life... we met alone at least once a month in person. Um you can imagine what happened
after awhile. *^^* For me that was so special, made us closer... I hoped that when he turned 18 he could visit us more and maybe we could move in together... When we started he was very jealous and he didn't really want me talking to other guys online, he didn't want me flirting, etc. I didn't think I was but to make him happy I pretty much stopped talking to all my male friends. :/ He said he didn't flirt, he didn't seem to like the idea. he didn't want me doing it. So can you imagine how shocked I was to find out he had been messing around online here. :( I mean look at our comments to each other... I never expected... I never thought he would be flirting... Ever since he joined AT, with several girls since June I guess, I think Libby, and Tamara, and you... /sigh. Well it's not your fault he acts like he does. But now I'm so scared... what if he had been doing the same thing with other girls in real life? How can I trust him again? ; ; Why does life have to be so hard. *sigh* I don't think he's a bad guy... I think he just wants someone of his own. :( But if only he had told me before messing around. I would have understood even if it hurt. :( I don't know what to do. I love him so much. It hurts but I still want him. :( Am I stupid or what? >< I'm sorry to bother you. But I didn't want you thinking I was a greedy monster. :/ His mother even called me on the phone once, called me such terrible things, his brother, sigh. I have real feelings. :/

Here's my response to her:
WOW?umm?hello, Kaly? Haven’t talked in a while?I would usually ask the over used, “How are you??right about now, but I suppose it is sort of pointless. Not to be rude, but how did you get my e-mail address? Well, I am guessing you wanted to discuss matters about Isamu? You have stated your opinions and feelings, so I will state mine.
I honestly did not know about your relations until last week. He was incredibly nervous when he mentioned you, thinking I would hate him for his odd situation. All it did was confirm my predictions. Drama erupts every time I find someone great. I will admit it?I am falling (or have fallen) for him too, so I can understand why you love him. Despite it all, I still cannot date for another 4 years, and I doubt anyone would wait that long for me. Yes, I care about him, and wish him the best and happiness in life (even if it did not include me).
You said he also flirted with some girls, other than me? I see how that was hurtful to you, and I am sorry. Though, I do not think Isamu and I were really committed, so I do not mind as much?jealousy is not a trait I take too often.
I never thought you were a monster Kaly. The fact you have a boyfriend and still want Isamu does show greed though, if you would like the truth. Love and selfishness are an inseparable pair, and as humans, we all experience sins, emotions, and thoughts.
Above all Kaly, it is HIS CHOICE. But if you truly love him, stop confessing to me and tell HIM. Yet, also remember, you will have to choose sooner or later. There is just no way to get the best of both worlds. REAL LIFE is never fair or perfect, the way some people portray it.
Sincerely,
QtNptnSwtE (I actually used my real name, but I just don't feel like telling you people {=P})

So that's what it was... I'm now anticipating Kaly's & Izzy's responses... I'm going to the movies later with some friends to see "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory" Cocoa & I are going to sleep over Emmalz1's house tonight. I'm also staying tomorrow, I think? Lol... I'll find out... but I'm going to be home by Monday. T2yl8rz.

~*QtNptnSwtE*~

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Friday, July 22, 2005


   *Sigh*
Well... Izzy's X-gf Kaly e-mailed me. She still loves him (Well, duh! He's a great guy...), & he probably loves her... *SIGH* What to do?! Just give up? Grr... I hate crushes, damnit... all the fuckin' drama!!! This is what I always try to avoid!!! I guess I'll have to talk to him... I'm for w/e makes him happiest, even if it's not me... but if it is, I'll feel like a total bitch... even though I know I already sorta am 1... but I've a new philosophy:
~ Love is for fools... it'll make any1 who falls for it stupid, & will trap them... it's pointless & difficult to find. But what's hard to get always makes me want it more... damnit... stupid ass love... why do I have to be human?! Having emotions & thinking so much... a curse & a blessing...

~*QtNptnSwtE*~

P.S.
I found my Case Closed & Sister Princess... but I can't watch it for another week or 2... I won't be home... leaving for Steph's sleepover party... tell ya'll about it 2moroz maybe...

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   Hey Ya'll
I haven't been on since Sunday! Wow... lol. On Monday, Dea & I finally went to the library & paid the $4 late fine for the Italy book I let her take out in May. All it did was renew the rent though... she still has to find it. Ugh... if she can't, it's $20 she'll have to pay, because all I did was take it out with my card. I hate our library. I swear I'm cursed when I walk right through their doors. After the library, we went to Best Buy, so I can finally get my Sister Princess 1-5&6 & Case Closed 5-2... but I was out of luck when I got there. They were sold out damnit!!!
I got pissed, but ended up finding some other treasures I couldn't find for a while. I found the MUSE cd!!! Rayn got me into them, so I bought a copy for both of us (since she hadn't had much luck finding it), & gave it to her on the way home. Oh, noz... she's leaving Monday {T_T}!!! But I'm sure she'll have fun.
I also found The All American Rejects' new cd!!! That made me really excited, cause I thought they died or broke up... lol, but they didn't & I got it & am listening to it now! {^_^}
Then, Dea got her Friends Season3 (a birthday present for her from me & her adopted family {=P})

I also found the coolest phone there & got it! You see, my dad took the 1 I had in my room upstairs (which was my sister's) & put it in the shop to use. We have 3 phones in our house (since mine was taken, hmph {T_T}), & what's REALLY retarded is they're all in the same room... we have 3 floors (upstairs, downstairs & basement). 1z cordless with an answering machine, caller ID & speaker, but only the answering machine & speaker work on it. The other is next to it & a fax machine. Then the 3rd works, but is really dirty, old & has a cord.
Anyway, about the retro phone I found: it has regular ring tones+ 5 musical 1z (rock, pop, hip-hop, grunge, punk); a caller ID; Speed Dial; Flash; Hold; Contact List; is CORDLESS {FREEDOM TO FIDGIT! {^_^}}; changeable plates (blue & redish/orange); & neck earphones-headset (I can multitask easier).
So now we have 4 phones in the house again, & at least 1 in a different room than the others (MY ROOM! YAY!!! Hehehe... {^_^}).

Drumline on Tuesday (every Tuesday) was... interesting. Chellea (I don't know how to spell her name), our instructor finally had her baby girl! {^_^} She's going to be the band baby. But that also meant she wasn't there to instruct us, so the most experienced person there was put in charge. Only 4 out of 8 people showed up though, including myself, & 3 of us are total newbs (I'm still including myself). Only 2 out of the 8 are experienced (& both will graduate next year {>_<}). The other 6 are newbs! We're going to HAVE to pull our weight to an extent. It's pitiful right now, & gradually getting better. But it'll still be difficult without Chellea & so many newbs. Hopefully we can pull together when the time comes. I just wish I could find more time to practice & memorize & improve, but all I got to practice on is this stupid l'il "tin" (What Angie called the useless tiny practice bellsets). I really need to find the old, but bigger hunk of metal, & work on my wrist muscles.

I worked yesterday (technically since today is Friday, 4am now... I swear I'm an insomniac or vampire). Am sleeping over eldest sister's house umm... last night? I know, horrible grammar. The 21st of July is my 1 sister's birthday. She turned 21. Then went on a trip with her "posse" to Virginia I think? Lol, I still got to figure out what to give her for a present {>_<}.
I also have to work today, leaving at 10:30am, starting 11am, ending 4pm, then sleeping over Steph's for her birthday sleepover party! Yay! I'll try to be an insomniac tonight too. Her real birthday passed weeks ago though on the 11th. I still need to work up a card for her & stick a 20 in it.
Then Saturday around noon to 1pm, Emmalz1 is going to pick me up from Steph's party (she wasn't invited cause they don't really know each other). I'm going to sleepover her house Saturday & Sunday. I'll need to get some allergy dissolvant medicine. We had to crush pills last time & mix it with water for me to try & chug (so bad at that). I have a gag reflex, & I just can't swallow pills, damnit. We're going to watch the 7pm Saturday showing of "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory" at a Carmikes theatre with Cocoa & some other friends (possibly Rayn too, if I can get a hold of her).

I go home Monday sometime (Rayn leaves {T_T}& Dea's birthday!)... then it's Drumline again Tuesday (also Alex's birthday!), & I leave for Canada Thursday @6pm, & get home late Sunday, or to Dea's for her sleep-over birthday party... then on the Tuesday following is my American Legion Award Ceremony @6pm.

Wow... so busy... I still have to read 3 200pg books for school & write into the webs & journal entries!!! OMG!!! Grr... I have my work cut out for me. Hmm... this is the curse of my partner in crime (procrastination). Well, I've mastered tougher sitches before, so I'll get through ok, eventually. WOW... I wrote so much... it's 4:40am now... it took me 40 minutes to finish this! WOW... lol... well, I'll get back to this next time & write down anything & everything that comes to mind. {^_^} Until next time...

~*QtNptnSwtE*~

P.S.
I get SO mad everytime I try to download Yahoo Messenger on my sister's computer! I think I've tried 6 times already {>_<}! I suck at downloading shit. But I REALLY want to have it on here for when I come over! *sigh* Oh, well... I'm also looking foreward to talking to Izzy {^_^}...

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Sunday, July 17, 2005


   Home
I'm finally going home today for the 2nd time in a month... wow, I get to sleep in a bed!!! YAY!!! MY BED!!! But that also means I won't get to keep up with some good long distance friends on here... but if any of those friends see this:

*I'LL MISS YOU GUYS & GO AHEAD & SPAM ME, CAUSE YA'LL KNOW I'LL DO IT BACK SOONER OR LATER {= P}!!*

It's kind of weird... I haven't even been homesick... it's going to be like moving into a stranger's house again {>_<}. Wow... but I can't say I'm not happy to go back to my bed though. I will probably fall asleep at midnight, then not wake up till 5pm the next day, lol. Well, anyways, laters peepz, & get back to ya'll another day!

~*QtNptnSwtE*~

P.S.
Did ya'll notice my recent quiz spree? {= P} That's what boredom does to a person!

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   What Slanguage Do You Speak?
Yes, slang has become a natural part of my everyday speech.


Your Slanguage Profile

British Slang: 50%
Canadian Slang: 50%
Prison Slang: 50%
Southern Slang: 50%
Aussie Slang: 25%
New England Slang: 0%
Victorian Slang: 0%

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   Dante's Inferno Test
LMFAO... I'm actually pretty mellow, but if you do get on my bad side, brace yourselves for a hulkster! Otherwise though, I'm usually happy & congenial.

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 5 times.
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Fifth Level of Hell!

Fifth Level of Hell: The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low
Dante's Inferno Test

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   A Quick & Dirty IQ Test
LoL... 105 out of 140 possible. Not to shabby? But on the other hand, I've taken it 4 times now, lol. But this is the 1st time it's been in the 100z... it was always in the 90z before.

Your IQ Is 105
105 IQ

Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius
Your General Knowledge is Average

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   What's Your Thinking Style?
Hmm... I do think differently from others the majority of the time & sometimes, I think too much, which can become a pain... {>_<}

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Exploring

You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name.
You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs.

An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles.
You show people how to question their models of the world.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Visioning

You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.
You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.

An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.
You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

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   What Personality Disorder Are You?
WOOT!!! I'm Borderline!!! YAY!!! LoL... I find this strangely accurate & incredibly humorous... WHOA, WTF?!?! Why am I using intelligent language? Lol... I think this controllable ADD I claim to be affected by is very fun... {^_^}

You May Be a Bit Borderline...
Borderline
Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame! When you're up, you're a little bit crazy... And when you're down, your whole world is crashing. Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

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