Sunday, November 13, 2005

   July Journal
>>**Why haven’t I let myself have a boyfriend?**
I’ve been thinking SO MUCH about relationships & why I’ve never let myself into a serious 1 lately… I had to mention this 1st & foremost because it’s been bugging the heck out of me!!! So here goes… Reasons I haven’t had a boyfriend:
1) I’m not ALLOWED to date until I’m 18 (who’d want to wait 4 years for me?)
2) I’ve never really been asked by some1 I LIKED (almost every guy who’s asked me was a friend who was like a bro! Or some1 I barely knew… damn, I can’t know him TOO well or TOO little…)
3) I don’t do things just because every1 else is (a.k.a.: I don’t follow trends)
*4) I’m scared of falling too hard for (umm… in love with) some1… then have them break my heart later on… (Or maybe even vise versa? {x_X})
5) I’m still “young” (uh… considered “illegal” or “jailbait” LoL)
6) It won’t be fair to whoever HE is because I’ll have little spare time (but I’d try to make more if he was worth it…)
7) I get too shy sometimes (it depends on who I’m around)
8) I’m SUPER ticklish… [Why did I just say that? {O_o} Crap… I’m allergic… to… umm… people! Argh {>_<} Lol {=P} but maybe I have S.A.D./Social Anxiety Disorder sometimes because of that (which might also contribute to #7)?]
9) I’m not sure if I’m ready to be committed to just 1 person (a relationship means I’m not allowed to flirt anymore… {>_<} does that sound bad?)
10) Things happen SO MUCH better in my mind than in real life, so maybe dreaming is better for now? Real life can get tough when another person is let in.
BONUS) My sister told me, “Guys will do ANYTHING & EVERYTHING to get IN your pants, so don’t believe them, no matter what!” LMAO, she’s great…

~ BTW, I have another new philosophy: Good boys can be split into 4 categories:
1) Taken
2) Likes other good boys (My sister’s famous quote about this, “Damnit! It’s such a fuckin’ waste!”)
3) A bad boy that hasn’t gotten caught yet
4) All of the above

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>>Monday, July 25, 2005 continued
Got home from Emmalz1’s, took a shower, ate dinner, & went to sleep in MY bed. I can’t really remember anything interesting... LoL, yupp… that’s it!

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>>Tuesday, July 26, 2005
I woke up around noon, got up around 1, ate brunch, watched some anime (I haven’t in a LONG time… I’m so far from being an addict…), & got ready. Later on, I got picked up to go to drumline. There, I told the group I realized the only 2 experienced people are going to be seniors & aren’t going to be there next year! That made some of them totally freak, which was hilarious (but I’m also easily amused). They looked to me to be leader next year… *sigh* more work to come. I just wish I could have more time to practice & improve, but I got the stupid little tins to use, not to mention I’m barely ever home. We got assigned parts for the first show. Cocoa & I are pretty much playing Bells & Xylophone. The 2 experienced are on the Vibes & Marimba (Ah!!! I’m going to have to next year!!! {T_T} They’re big & scary… & there’s a pedal on the Vibes…). The auxiliary was split between the other 3 newbs. It was the most difficult to assign. There were so many overlapping parts.
It turns out there’s only 7 of us this year: 2 experienced seniors; (4 freshman newbs) 3 since 6th grade with past experience on other instruments: ME (3 years piano, 1 year trombone) & Cocoa (2 years flute); 2 freshman auxiliary: 1 always breaks bones (drummer since 6th grade) & the other’s a new student; 1 sophomore auxiliary newb with 8 years piano experience. There used to be 9 of us in the pit, but the to-be junior was moving or quitting, & the to-be sophomore moved (& boy was Cocoa ecstatic! The 2 didn’t really see eye to eye… in fact, I don’t know that many people who actually liked her {O_O}. I hope she don’t see this).
I still have to read my 3 summer books (since I’m in honors… {>_<} damnit, more work…): Treasure Island (I read 2 pages so far), Farewell to Manzanar, & a classic (I think I’m going to read Gulliver’s Travels). I also have to keep my promise to a friend that I’d write an editorial for his site, & a promise to myself to keep an updated, typed journal (that’s why I’m taking my sister’s laptop with me to Canada. So I can write this is WORD & also fix up my Anime Tribe profile. She doesn’t have the net on it, but WORD’s all I really NEED).
After I got picked up from drum-line, my mom, 1 sis & I went to WalMart. We got some groceries & necessities for Canada. I got a new duffle bag (since that sis borrowed mine, never gave it back; I used my dad’s, but it got ripped from overuse this summer… remember? I’m never home…), new styluses for my DS (misplaced the 1 it came with), & a fuzzy, sparkly, purple pillow case (to match my new sheets). My sis also picked out her birthday present (a REALLY pretty gold ring with 2 diamonds on either side of a mystic topaz gem).
As usual, the pair was taking forever with groceries or whatever, so I was bored & called Izzy. I talked to him for almost 3 hours, I think? Hehehe… a little past 1am, my mom told me to get off ‘cause my dad was sleeping already, LoL. So we bid goodbye, & there’s something I was debating in my mind to say, but wasn’t sure if it’d be too awkward, so I chickened out… anyways, I’m still “jailbait” LoL.

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>>Wednesday, July 27, 2005
My sis & I got yelled at this morning (oh, ya… surprise, surprise! I’m being sarcastic btw)… we woke up late. Then both of us got dropped off at our other sister’s. She got picked up for work, & I re/un-packed for tomorrow. I slept most of the day away (I never sleep right… probably only had 3 hours)… took a shower, then I checked my Anime Tribe… that was a MAJOR head-ache… 67 fricken messages! Almost all of them were Forum posts, Tribe invites, & Friend Requests… can I scream now?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Hmph… I think I’m done… anyway, not much else to highlight for today.

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>>Thursday, July 28, 2005
I had to wake up at 10am to get ready to go to Monroeville Mall & baby-sit my niece with my sister’s niece-in-law (I think we’re 1 year apart? & she still doesn’t know much English, so communication is difficult). She was working in place of her husband (who I loathe… she could’ve done SO MUCH better… but anyways, he went to a business conference…). LMFAO!!! We ate, & I accidentally threw the tray away (I was NOT awake, apparently)!!! HAHAHA!!! That was the highlight of my day… $6 down the drain for her hubby, LMAO… other than that, everything else was pretty boring there…
We got back to her house around 1pm. I took a shower, got my stuff into the car, & talked a while on her computer. I got invited to BrokN RubBa’s birthday sleepover, & she was ecstatic about her birthday present. She got tickets to the WARPED TOUR!!! LoL, lucky her… I still haven’t gone to a concert (if you’re wondering, yes, I am very jealous… {=P}). She still doesn’t know who she’s taking, but she showed me a list of who’s playing… boy was that a huge list! I knew about 4 names out of maybe… 25? They were MCR (My Chemical Romance), The Starting Line, Relient K, &… I think it was the Ataris? I so badly wanted to see Simple Plan & Good Charlotte, but I think it passed already. Oh, well…
Anyway, we left for Canada around 5. We stopped by a McDonald’s & ate. I got to the 3rd chapter of Treasure Island (but I got to hurry… less than 4 weeks with 2 more books waiting damnit!). Finally, we arrived at our destination around 11pm. We were fine until we got to the streets they live on… LoL, my tita & grandma had to stand in the middle of the road waving their arms to catch our attention. We unloaded & went to sleep… but I’m an insomniac, & I kept waking up every 20minutes… just my night routine, but I’m going to need to get back on track soon. School’s nearing every second {T_T}…

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>>Friday, July 29, 2005
Breakfast: assortments of Filipino foods. Lunch: Fish & rice. My 1 tita picked up her granddaughters (my 2nd cousins, but I call them my nieces). Then, we went shopping at the Promenade Mall. I had $30 US converted into almost $40 Canadian? I bought a new wallet, glasses case, & a surprise bag at this little Sanrio store. It was cute. Later on, we went to a few Asian food stores. Yummy! I got banana/chocolate, strawberry/chocolate, & coconut/chocolate Pocky, & a whole load of other snacks my sis & I were splitting up when we got back to home sweet home. They got ingredients for kare-kare, which we had for dinner. They also made an ube halo-halo. *sigh*… I’m going to get fat when I go to the Philippines next year, LoL… too much yummy home cooking! On the way back, I saw a sign for Canadian Idol! That was kind of kool (I know, I’m a dork). I asked about it, & they said it was STILL going, & one of my cousin’s friend’s was still in it. When we got back to their house, my 1 cousin was there with her daughters/my 2nd cousins or nieces. I played with them for a while. Then I started updating this, & getting my grandma & titas’ help on fixing up our family tree. Boy is it big! Well, now my 1 niece is setting her cute little goo-goo eyes on this, so I’ll save this & let her type a little {^_^}… she couldn’t do much damage… I hope…

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>>Saturday, July 30, 2005
I went to church for the 1st time in 3 years today! My sisters went into the nursery with my (actual only) niece. I was going too, but they told me to stay with our mom, so she wouldn’t be alone. It was really boring… they spent the 1st hour talking about expenses, trying to get money out of the members. Grr… this is why I’m glad I don’t normally go to church. They charge you to love God, & it’s EVERY week! Isn’t that a l’il much? I mean… people go to church to thank him (I understand that), & beg for things… how would you feel if people always asked you for things? Wouldn’t you get annoyed? Sure, I thank him in my prayers, but if we need or want something, we can’t just beg him & expect to have it the next day! You got to do something about it. That’s CAUSE & EFFECT for you! Though, the sermon did enlighten me into ANOTHER philosophy… (Wow I’ve been having a LOT of these lately!):
~ Nothing is free… not even FREEdom. There’s a price for everything, & there are consequences if you don’t do an equivalent exchange or follow the laws/rules/regulations.
There was a potluck afterwards. 1 of my mom’s old friends just grabbed my arm & takes me somewhere… she wanted me to meet her son!!! His name was a Filipino SDA [It was a Filipino SDA church after all! Though, I usually don’t like Asian boys (even though I’m an Asian girl), but he could’ve been an exception {~_^}]. He smiled at me *melts {=P}… I smiled back {^_^}*! & was clearly checking me out, *giggle & blush*. Finally, he mustered to say his name was AJ & that he was 17 & ask for my name & age. Uh… he was freaked when he found out I was only 14… hehehe… His mom then asked how old my sister was (Gz, just move on down/up the list, huh? She’s 21. I’m too young, & she’s too old, LoL)… he looked at his mom with a sort of, concerned look… probably wondering why she’d hook him up with “jailbait” LoL… she thought I was older too! I didn’t know whether to take it as a compliment or insult? Another thing though… I was wearing 2inch heels, & was almost as tall as him!!! If I’m still growing, that is a VEWY, VERY bad thing! {=P}
Around 2pm, we got seated for my cousin’s elder daughter’s (my niece’s) VBS graduation. It didn’t start until 2:30 though. The songs were cute, but they were still trying to get money out of parents. My mama, tita, & 1 sister left early. They gave out awards for best campers. None of them were even SDAs, or members. The church was bribing & advertising again… ugh! Anyway, it finished around 4pm, I think? We got out, & the lady that tried to hook me up earlier, went over & took my arm, smiling at me (Can you say, “Creepy?!” {=P})… She said her sons wanted her to come ask me & my sister to sit with them, but she told them to do it themselves, but they were too shy (not good… c’mon! I need some1 comfortable around me & vise versa!)! She kept trying to find out what we were doing later, but we truthfully didn’t know at the time… we make up plans on the way… because they never stay the same anyway!
We got back to their place, & boy was I relieved to finally change into comfy clothes!!! I got out of my sleeveless pink shirts (it was the layered look), long gray skirt (with side slits from mid-thigh down), & black heels. Then I slipped into a T-shirt, jeans, & my pink KangaROOs (Ah… so nice to not have every1 saying, “Ay! Dalaga na ekow!” meaning, “Wow! You’re a lady now!”).
My 1 other cousin was there with her hubby & son. We didn’t stay in the house long though, because we ended up going to her house. It was nice, & I helped my little nieces & nephew on the mini slide on her back patio.
Then my other cousin, her husband, my sisters & I left for somewhere. We arrived at this huge Asian market place! They sure do have a lot of those here… they had SO MANY nice things… nice clothes… yummy bubblegum drinks (I think that’s what they were called? It’s like a slushy with these gummies in the bottom… I originally got banana, but my cousin’s honey dew was REALLY yummy!!! She was nice & switched me. She said she could get them any time, but I was only there for a few days. Oh, no… I’m making myself thirsty! LoL {=P})… & ANIME merchandise, soundtracks, originals, & English dubs (I also found some REALLY scary hentai… that I wish I didn’t come by {>_<})!!! I got 2 soundtracks: SaiYuki & FMA, & a Sister Princess mouse-pad. There were so many other awesome things in that store, but I didn’t have any more Canadian money… I never got my $40 US converted… but we got KFC chicken. They don’t have biscuits or mashed potatoes in Canada!!! I was going to flip! But they had pandesal, puto, & katchinta there anyway…
I ate on the patio outside with my sister & niece, while everyone else ate & watched Triple X 2 inside. I didn’t want to watch because I hadn’t seen the 1st 1. A bug flew into my orange soda! Grrz… but the dinner made me full, & I went inside. I started chasing my nephew around, playing monster. He got a kick out of that… Then, my other little niece showed me her ball (the kind that glows when you hit or bounce it against something). Her daddy put the ball in the back of her shirt, & it was cute to see her try & find it. She kept spinning in circles until her dad felt bad & took it out & placed it on the floor, but she didn’t notice, so he put it in the front of her shirt… LoL, she still couldn’t get it out! Anyway, I went back on the back patio, & my niece & nephew followed me. My other niece & sister were on the see-saw. The 2 smaller 1s went on the slide again, so my sister went to help them with that, & I joined our other niece on the see-saw. Then we started taking pictures. My nephew had to go inside again though, because he had a little cold.
We left my cousin’s house. My niece begged her mommy (my cousin) to sleepover her lola’s (my tita’s) house so she could be with us! {^_^} She got her way & we stayed up until 1am. We drew pictures, sang some songs, ate some (healthy… fruit) snacks, & listened to some Disney music [Yes, I’m a sucker for cute Disney movies & soundtracks! I grew up singing to Princess Songs (Ariel, Pocahontas, Jasmine, Belle, Cinderella), ok?! So sue me! I’m a kid at heart & love to be around my little nieces & nephews!]. Then, my sister pointed out to me she wouldn’t sleep until I did, so even though I’m an insomniac, I went to sleep for her sake. She needs her sleep & I do too… but mine is just really unpredictable.

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>>Sunday, July 31, 2005
My niece kept trying to wake me up to draw her something. I did my best to hide under the covers until she stopped (I didn’t want to prove I wasn’t a morning person… or to give a bad example… children are so impressionable). She never stopped, so I got up & did my morning routine, then sat for breakfast. She sat there drawing & telling her stories, & I was her listener. Once I finished, I drew her a little landscape sketch. She then begged to be my hairstylist, but I wanted to take a shower before lunch. Somehow, I let her anyway. It was funny, & my sister took pictures, but I looked like shit, because you know… I sort of just woke up… but I took a shower. Then drew a few more pictures for her, & she tried to mimic my drawing style. She did ok. But we had lunch, & her mommy showed up. They got more bubblegum drinks. She got me honey dew again… Yumm {^_^}!
Anyway, we started loading the car. Once we finished, we took a load of group pictures. Finally, we bid our sad good-bye hugs. We had 3 hours of traffic to just get across the border to the US! It was SoOoOoOo boring!!! I got to chapter 5 on Treasure Island, but I couldn’t focus anymore, so I started playing Sims: The Urbz on my DS. I had a saved game on it from June 3, when I went to Cedar Point. It REALLY freaked me out, because it foreshadowed events for me, & I just realized it by my character’s name. I beat it already with a girl character named Em. So I had a boy character that was still on the 1st level… & its name was… was… Izzy!!! OMFG!!! I’ll need to tell him about that. *scratches chin, then thinks* Wow… I didn’t even start calling him that until the mid-July I think? Freaky… I stopped playing & turned this on to fix up the family tree… but it got me agitated, so I updated this a little more… then I fixed up my Anime Tribe profile I had saved, checking over everything… but I got really bored… & I turned my CD player on & tried to sleep… I lasted 20minutes, on & off. I was starving, & started opening the snacks, & ate a little bit of everything, & forced myself to stop… I turned my CD player on again…
We finally passed the border into NY. We stopped by the 1st food place we found, which was Burger King. I ate a 4th of my whopper, all of my onion rings, & barely any of my slushy. I probably spoiled my appetite, but I’m also not a big fast food fan…

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~*QtNptnSwtE*~
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