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AIM
• s0u1onfire
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Birthday
• 1992-07-27
Gender
• Female
Location
• Wisconsin
Member Since
• 2006-03-26
Occupation
• Pain in the Ass
Real Name
• Nikky <3

Personal

Achievements
• Being off-medication
Anime Fan Since
• *see above birthday*
Favorite Anime
• Evangelion, Fruits Basket, Naruto, Pokemon, Ergo Proxy, Ghost in the Shell
Goals
• Erm, staying off medication ^^
Hobbies
• dying hair, cutting hair, shopping at thrift stores, sewing shit, making my own stuff, collaging, guitar & piano
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• dying/cutting hair




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myOtaku.com: rabidminpin


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

yah its late but wtf. whos gunna come to my site anyway
i havent been visiting anyone besides jenny

sorry bout that

harrghible


well life isnt getting any better.


i just got a nother blow this morning

james is now dating one of my good friends.

idk it hurt, it was a shock and i cried when i found out. and i cant look at them together. but its not like i wanted to get back together with james. so idk why i feel this way.

IDK WHYYYY I FEEL THIS WAYYYY

lmao that made me laugh. sry.

but its confusing as hell. whaywhaywhay

i feel like my life is at a stand still.

and i'm pretty depressed but trying not to show it.

my friends are pretty good about keepin me happy. i dont want to bring everyone around me down, anyways.

i want to talk to donovan and be like

"So you're dating someone now? Somehow it's hard to believe you'd be a good boyfriend

Thinking ur a bad bf is the only way I can deal with u bein with her. I couldn't stand you treating another girl right and loving her truly.

If that girl wasn't me.

The reason I keep turning you down is becase I'm afraid you'd treat me like crap.
Afraid that once we're together you'd want to get in my pants right away.
Afraid that you'd care about your precious pot more than you'd care about me."

and, supposedly here i guess, i'd find out if he really is an asshole or not. if he really can treat a girl right.
god
id want to be with him so bad.
would i then wait for him? until he and suzy didnt work out?
god i dont know.
would i risk it all over again?

probably. since i feel like life is at a standstill. something new and intense to feel.
instead of feeling numb.
perhaps i'd even take the pain over feeling like a zombie all the time.
i've been in a lot of pain lately. and i'm all doing it to myself.
if i wasn't to obsessed, so determined to find out that donovan is actually human, holding onto that maybe one day in the future we will get back together and everything will be okay.

i feel like i'm a little kid again. making dumb wishes to be with somebody. long lived dreams.

theyre just dreams.

and only dreams.

but i still have that silly little voice in my head that says theres hope of that dream being real.

that theres a chance.

~~

i miss being limerant

over him.
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