Thursday, March 31, 2005

   poems that I didnt put up yet...also...
Here are 2 poems that I did but didnt put up. I will post the other one to adame after I get some sleep. I hope you like them I will post the others later so please come back to my site and read the others when they are on^^ thank you^^ Adame is coming back in 8 days. *crys* he has his computer but hes busy*sobs* I miss him. well here are the poems.

-Pain-(march 17 2005)
Pain, people think that they know what
Pain is but really they onlu know what
Little pain is, I know about pain, what
It really is. It's when your loved one or
Someone that loves you try's to do something
To you but you dont want them to do it.

Then after they try to do whatever they tried
To. You start to hurt, you think about how they
Would never do anything like that to you but they
Really lied or something made them do the thing.
Then you try to hide your feeling about what happened.

Pain is something that can break someone, hurt someone
Even do something worst to someone. when it is their loved
One doing tthat thing, Pain is something when that person
Or something trys to do it again, Pain is something you try
To live without but really you cant stop it. Pain is everywhere
Around you. you cant so a thing to stop it but try to not hurt
Someone who is important to you, try to keep a Promise and
Dont ever hurt them if you said you would never.

-For all that I can-(march 16, 2005)
For all that I can
I will love you
For the rest of
My life.I will
Do anything just
To make you
Happy, For all that
I can, I will go
Anywhere just to be
With you, I will love you.

For all that I can
I will make you
Happy. I will be
There when you need
Someone to hold you.
I will try my best
To keep you from
Getting hurt from
Being as sad as I was
For all that I can I will love you.

For all that I can
I will love you with
All my heart, I will
Do anything to make
You happy even if
It means me not
Being there with you
While you are happy.
I will love you
No matter what you
Chose to do. I will
Love you with all
My heart. I hope
You love me with
All of your heart.
For all that I can I will love you.
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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

   Adame left today *crys*
Adame left today, early today *crys* I miss him! why did he have to go? well he went to help his grandparents to move or something, they live in californa or whatever. So he even farther away from me! *sobs* I am gonna miss him! I know I'll write a poem for him. I'll post it tomorrow. And I'll post ever other poem I didnt post yet. v.v I dont like it that he is farther away from me *sobs* He lives in New York and he wants to come here.*smiles sadly* He is trying to come here, but he dont know when. He may come for a viste in august or spetember. I want to give him my money so he can come here faster but he wont take it. he say it against his code. its not like I am ever gonna need the money. I dont like to use money unless its imporant and dont you think that making adame come here is imporant? *sobs* After I post the poems I wont post til he comes back which in on April 5th but he will come back late so I wont post til I talk to him which is on the 6th. so that is like kinda 10 days...10 days that I wont talk to adame *sobs even more* I am gonna miss him even more then I already do! *sobs*

Okay, umm to try to make me happy I will post here what happened at Rin's house. Well Yuki and me Went ohhh when she showed us her house but she stoped right away when we did that. Then I went on the computer and Rin and Yuki went downstaries to be alone. and yeah I just stayed on the computer and was bored, I played with my new butterfly knife^^ I am getting better at it^^ well then we went home. so much happened that I cant remember it all^^

Well I am gonna go. I need to go to have a family dinner kinda thing^^ and also try not to miss....adame so much *crys* I miss him to much! *sobs* why did he have to go?! Well...I better go before I scare you all. sorry if I did. Poems tomorrow. I see you then and then no more til the 6th 9 day or so v.v bye. love you all^^ love you adame v.v
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Sunday, March 27, 2005

   Getta meet Rin today^^
I getta meet Rin today^^ Me and Yuki have a "plan" when we meet her^^ lol^^ anyways I better go sleep cause its like only 12am and I still need sleep^^ I will post about what happened when we meet her later^^ well bye bye^^ love you all^^ love you adame^^
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Saturday, March 26, 2005

   wow! its been 3 days since I posted!
I cant believe it that I havent posted in 3 days! I is sorry! I have been busy and I havent really been on the computer that long! I is very sorry! please forgive me!

Well I guess I should just tell you guys what happened for the 3 days I havent posted.Sorry again!

Well on wednesday, I saw that I had a burise where Yuki bite me. Pan tired to tickle my legs but when she did I didnt do anything, neither when Greg tired to. Erica a girl that I dont like and we had a fight before and we were like shes a bitch and stuff. Well I gave her money for a drink and she said thanks, I'm sorry for what I said before. And I was like its ok, and then she hugged me. Yeah it was kinda scary.

Then on Thurseday, Megan or Tohma, kissed my hair and then my left cheek. Ahhh! I was scared, Yuki said I looked like I was about to cry. Megan, said before she kissed me that she was gonna steal me away from yuki and she was like hugging me from behind, like she had her arms around my beck and was pulling me away from Yuki. And then I went to wash my face because of the kiss. Then I saw Pan and I told her that megan kissed my hair and my cheek, her Boyfriend, Greg, said I feel so sorry for you. Then I went to turn and Pan kissed my right cheek. I was like huh? And she was laughing, I was meh, its all cool, We are both weird so it doesnt really matter if she did, or didnt. Then I went back to Yuki and then Megan kissed me on my right cheek and I was like meh, and Yuki asked why arint you like ahh? I said cause Pan kissed there so its like blances it or whatever. Yuki was like ooooh, then Pan came and kissed my cheek again^^hehehe^^ it was so funny. Megan's and Pan's kisses are very different...not to sound lez or anything, but Pan's kisses are Soft and Megan's are...umm...like rough or something. Their just really differeny. I wouldnt mind Pan kissing my cheeks again^^ lol. Then we had to go to a gym thing and Pan was laying me and we got Twiggy to take a picture where my hands were on Pan stomach, kinda close to her breast and stuff. And I had put my hood up and I had put my head down on her neck, so it looked like I was making out with Pan. We are gonna make it big and give it took Greg later^^ lol. It was funny.

Well today, Yuki came over and woke me up. at 11:30am! I didnt get home till 12am! oh well, it was interesting. I get to meet Rin on Sunday^^ yay! we have been wanting to meet eachother for a long time but we havent. I hope I can go, if my mom lets me go. Well I need to go to bed...I wanna see if I can get on the computer and see if Adame is online...I am worried about him. I havent seen him in like 3 days! I is worried something happened, he hasnt answered pms or anything...please be alright adame...where are you?

Well I better go...bye I shall post 2 or 3 poems tomorrow^^ love you all^^love you adame^^see you later^^have a good night or day or whatever^^bye^^adios^^ love all^^
now here is just a quiz^^ got bored^^

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice:	Your dashing good looks
Your Favorite Target:	Emo-kids
Your Kill Count:	1,701,870,351
Your Battle Cry:	"Beans."
Years You Spend in Jail:	5
How Much Money In Damages You Cause:	$277,106,941,437,467
Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 93%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

   Yuki bite my arm!!!!!!!!
Yuki bite my arm the other day!!!!!Yuki did that all because I was holding onto his bag and wouldnt give it back, he got greg to come and get it for him, but I still wouldnt let go of it. Then Yuki said I will bite your arm. I said go a head, and he bite my arm! oh well it really didnt hurt, it just hurted when greg took my arm and just held on tight but when Pan tried to help she made greg almost twist my arm!! god did my arm hurt then. cause yuki was still biting it! you should have seen my arm, it had teeth marks! and if anything touchs the spot when yuki bite it. it would hurt a lot! I still kinda have teeth marks but not as much. thats good tho. as long as I didnt get my arm twisted. oh well, I shall tell you about what happened today in anyother post^^ well better get to school^^ love you all^^ love you adame^^ bye^^ have a nice day or night^^ bye^^ love you all^^
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Monday, March 21, 2005

Have you ever had a time where...
Have you ever had a time where the person you loved the most was in danger or something like that? And you felt all numb inside? like you were empty? Or felt something that you never knew you had? Well I did...I felt it late last night. I never knew I could ever feel so empty, cold, numb, and every other feeling I thought I could never feel. And when you heard the person was ok, you thought you would start to feel better, not so empty or anything like that. Well when I heard the person was going to be ok, I felt...I dont know...even more empty, more cold, more everything. I wasnt happy at all, I knew deep down I should be, but I just couldnt seem to get that happy...Is there something wrong with me? For the first time is years...I really cried. I mean like mega crying...I never have done that before...when my first boyfriend broke up with me...I didnt cry. I didnt anything, but when I heard that the person I love was not there and he should have been back by then, I started to cry...I felt cold, empty. Like I would never get full again, never get warm, never get happy again...I felt things that I never knew where real, it scared me at first then, I just let them go...I felt very cold to him when I was talking to him before...Like I didnt want to talk to anyone...not even him...and I love him with all my heart but I just couldnt say it back when he said it...I felt so cold...I felt so empty...I felt like I shouldnt live...I felt very empty.
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Sunday, March 20, 2005

   Rugby
Its cool, for those of you. who dont know what it is. its like Soccer and Football together. its a lotta fun I just got back from a pratice^^ well I am now at Pans house and Twiggy is here too.^^ I went on the web-cam for Adam^^ I was laughing soo much^^ he kinda talked to me...well I mean that...ahh...I'm just gonna shut up now. anyway I am post later I need to get home now^^ I'll see you later^^ love you all^^ love you adam...bye
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Saturday, March 19, 2005

   ^^thank you^^
Thank you all for saying that about my poems^^ It means a lot about me^^ Do you really think that I can maybe get all my poems published? That would be good^^ I'll try to write more poems^^ I have other's and I will try to put them up^^ I hope you dont mind waiting for them.^^ and to iamdizzy *takes the cookie and eats it* yum thank you^^ I shall try to get better soon^^

Well my friend Ash is over and she has a cellphone and we just learned that it can have chinese and stuff. well we put it to chinese and now we cant put it back! everything is in chinese! its hard to read! lol. well umm...I have a Rugby thing on Sunday but I am not sure if I can go because I am sick and stuff. I just know that I am gonna break my nose again if I play Rugby^^ lol oh well wont be the first time...or the second...or the third...or the fourth...lol Anyway...I better get to bed...I kinda have to wake up early so I can take my pill and then talk to Adame if he is on^^ I hope that I can cause its been 3 days now...:( and I really need to talk to him...anyways...I better go...see you later^^ bye^^ love you all^^ love you adame^^

oh yeah...I deleted some friends. so if I have deleted you and you go to my site a lot. or something like that^^ sorry if I have^^ well bye^^ love you all^^love you adame.
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Friday, March 18, 2005

   poems...hope you like them^^
-People all their life-
People all their life
Try to find that other one
Their true love. Somepeople
Find them, some think they have
But they really didnt and some
Just dont even try. So they die alone
Or just find someone who is
"Important" to them to their lives.

People all their life
May love soemthing that
Seems important, something that
They cant live without it.
But they can even find what is
Important. True Happiness.
They think that they do but
They really Dont. They live their
Live thinking that they do.

People all their life try
To make everything their's
But in the end, everything
That they ever had will be gone.
Some people may buy it, or sell
Or something.People all their life
Try to find happiness but in the ens.
They only find it when they die.

I have already found happiness
I already have everything I want.
I have already found that other one.
People all their life look for it. I already
Have it. I have found my true love,Who
Loves me truly. I love my true love with
All my heart. I love everything about him.
I love you.Never leave me please...
Dont make me one of the people that try to
Find true happiness again...never leave...

-You love me-
You love me but you
Dont really know who I am.
You think you do but have
You ever looked inside me?
No, you never have. You never
Took the time to get to really
Know me. You think you do...
You think you love me but
Really you just loving it that
You have someone to finally love.

You love me but you dont
Really know who I really
Am inside. All you see is my
Outside. my shell. not my inside.
I always wonder if you love me for
Just having someone or if you
Really love me. Whenever I ask that
You kiss me and say " I love you for
You." So whenever you do that.
I want to think that you really do.

You love me but I think
That you only love the thought
About you having someone to
Care about you. I think you never
Really loved me or anything. Please
Tell me that you really love me for
Who I am. And dont lie to me
Please tell me that you do
Really know who I am. because
I know I love you and I truely know
Who you are. You are my love.
My true love. My only love. I love you
Do you love me as you say you do?...

I hope you like them,Im sick so this is all I am going to write.sorry I would write more but I really am not feeling very good. well love you all^^love you adame^^ bye^^love you all very much^^
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Thursday, March 17, 2005

   to the other post^^
Sorry that I have made you all confused^^ and also sorry that I didnt post like I said I would I fell asleep and I kinda got in a fight with someone...who shall be nameless. Anywho to answer all your things about the other post^^.
The letters are just what grade you are in, english schools dont have it. its like for french high schools and stuff. the nombers are the same thing as the letters, its so the teachers know what class you are in and stuff^^ if there is anything else you need to know, just comment and I shall try to get back to you as soon as I can^^

Well I should be in bed now cause tomorrow or whatever I have to wake up at 5:30am! cause I have to get a bus at 6:36am so I can be at school for 7am because I am going to try and join the girls rugby team^^ I didnt want to do it this year but Pan is making me go. Blah on her. I know that my back will kill me for everything that we do and stuff. cause it is already killing me and stuff. Anyways. I beter go to bed and get some sleep. I shall post about how it went and everything^^ well see you later^^bye love you all^^ love you adame^^(I forgive you)bye^^
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