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Monday, March 21, 2005
Have you ever had a time where...
Have you ever had a time where the person you loved the most was in danger or something like that? And you felt all numb inside? like you were empty? Or felt something that you never knew you had? Well I did...I felt it late last night. I never knew I could ever feel so empty, cold, numb, and every other feeling I thought I could never feel. And when you heard the person was ok, you thought you would start to feel better, not so empty or anything like that. Well when I heard the person was going to be ok, I felt...I dont know...even more empty, more cold, more everything. I wasnt happy at all, I knew deep down I should be, but I just couldnt seem to get that happy...Is there something wrong with me? For the first time is years...I really cried. I mean like mega crying...I never have done that before...when my first boyfriend broke up with me...I didnt cry. I didnt anything, but when I heard that the person I love was not there and he should have been back by then, I started to cry...I felt cold, empty. Like I would never get full again, never get warm, never get happy again...I felt things that I never knew where real, it scared me at first then, I just let them go...I felt very cold to him when I was talking to him before...Like I didnt want to talk to anyone...not even him...and I love him with all my heart but I just couldnt say it back when he said it...I felt so cold...I felt so empty...I felt like I shouldnt live...I felt very empty.
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