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Thursday, June 5, 2008


   I hate school SO much...
I almost cried three times in school today...

At lunch the only space left at our table was being saved for Brookie, right? So I was upset like REALLY upset about that trying not to cry. Then this one girl sitting at the table (a friend of Brooke's. I hate her...) turns to me smirking and goes "There's not room for you here" and starts talking to the people at the table again...
So I walk to the table next to it spending ten minutes distracting myself so I wouldn't cry.
Then in chorus my friends started talking about me being weird because I was watching Lion King and why would I want to watch it again and stuff. And that I was apparently spacing out. One of them would walk in front of me every few minutes blocking my view and another would wave her hand in my face. Then I was reading and they kept pulling the book away to see what it was and what it was about while I'm trying to read. Then they wouldn't shut up during either of those so I couldn't keep focused at all. And one called me fat, another said I'm only not fat cuse apparently I'm proud of it (I'd rather be an anorexic twig than what I am now!) and the other just laughed at them saying that stuff to me. Then when I got mad at them the guy started going off that I was having 3 second mood swings one just laughed and the other kept hugging me even though I kept yelling at her to get off me.
And on the way to chorus one called me fat so I started going down the stairs faster and I twisted my ankle and of course my friends were laughing and one started off on "God's watching so of course you got punished for walking away from me" and stuff and called me an idiot cuse she thought I didn't know she was talking about God.
Then one asked if she could borrow my book, I said yes. So then she's like "My dad will freak out that the cover is two people almost kissing" and "I'll have it back to you like next year" so I said no. She asked how many chapters so I said there wasn't any so that made it so she'd finish it sooner.
I'm like THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!

And during the lunch thing Steven was eating lunch in the ISS room (of which he says there's no reason he is he didn't do anything) so he couldn't stand up for me.

And Andrew keeps telling me over and over again he feels bad for Jacob because we're still going out. Even when I tell him to stop, or shoot comebacks at him, or when Kayla threatened him to stop, he still says it. He'll go up to me and so "Sympathy" and walk away repeating it over and over till I can't hear him anymore...

THIS is the kind of day I thought stopping listening to Evanescence on the bus would stop. Last year if I listened to their album Fallen I'd have a crappy day. But if I listened to like Avril Lavigne or something I'd have a really good day. Only good thing about today was homeroom and that's only because TC wasn't there. He's a pain in the ass too. I'd say health too but the teacher, while it's indirect, makes me feel like a fat pig who can't eat healthy to save their life (Which is why the book on a girl with anorexia made it into my list of books I took out of the library... to see if it was worth it)

So yeah. I'll stop ranting cuse it doesn't really matter anyway... Other than on here if my friends even bother listening to me (other than a couple. One being Jacob. Which he has too since he's my boyfriend... To Kayla's dismay the other is Aaron. Only guys. And they both love me. Oh how loved my friends make me feel!) they don't care...

Ja...

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