Monday, November 8, 2004

   inuyasha 23
"Why didn't you want me to tell you what happened with Kikyou?" Kagome asked in surprise as Inuyasha carefully set her down on the futon he'd been sharing with her. "I thought you said you wanted to know everything that happened."

Inuyasha sighed and leaned over to pluck Shippo out of her lap, ignoring the kit's yelp of protest, "I do want you to tell me everything, but you said some of it needs to be private. I think that part qualifies as what needs to be between us."

"Iie! I don't wanna go!" Shippo squirmed in the hanyou's hold, sending Kagome a pleading look. "Let go, you jerk! Kagome, don't let him make me leave!"

Inuyasha grunted in irritation at the high-pitched screaming and lifted the baby youkai up to eye-level, "Dammit, brat, give us a while to talk about this! Kagome and I need to be alone."

"Shippo-chan, there really are some things I have to tell Inuyasha. Just Inuyasha," Kagome quickly added before the kitsune could protest. "But I promise I'll call for you as soon as we're done talking and you can stay after that, okay?"

Inuyasha shot her a speaking glare, but she just frowned stubbornly until he dropped the kit and turned his back on them, "Keh."

"You promise?" Shippo insisted, his little hands fisting at his sides in indecision. "I can stay and you won't let him kick me out?"

"I promise," she nodded, holding out a hand to beckon the kit back to her. Shippo rushed over without a second's hesitation, climbing back into her lap so she could pat him on the head. "I'll even make sure Inuyasha doesn't throw you out tonight," she smiled down at his hopeful, upturned face.

"Now wait just a minute-!" Inuyasha sputtered out, whirling back to Kagome angrily.

"Hurray!" Shippo's face broke into a huge grin and he leapt up to point triumphantly at the hanyou. "Nya! I'm sleeping with Kagome tonight!"

Inuyasha's brow twitched and he again leaned down to grab the kit by the tail and lift him off Kagome's lap. Ignoring Shippo's muttered curses and threats, he crossed the room and silently tossed him out into the hall before slamming the door closed. That done, he turned around and glared at Kagome in disapproval, "And just what the fuck possessed you to promise him something like that?"

Kagome blinked up at him in surprise, shrugging as she answered, "Shippo always sleeps with me, Inuyasha, you know that. He's been used to it for two years, and I don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him no. It never bothered you before... What's gotten into you?"

He gave the door one more glare before moving back to sit across from her on the futon, his knees lightly touching hers. With his arms folded in his "no-arguments" pose, he growled at her matter-of-factly, "Now you sleep with me. Next time you offer to let Shippo in with us, you should make sure it's okay with me first."

Kagome gaped at him, a wide variety of emotions chasing across her face before her cheeks went bright red and she hissed out, "Inuyasha!!"

"What?" Inuyasha shrugged, confused at her response. "I've been sleeping with you for weeks, even before you were hurt. Did you think that was going to change? I'm keeping you beside me, Kagome."

Kagome lifted her uninjured hand and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "I am NOT having this conversation."

"Good, because there isn't a conversation to have," he reached out and took her hand, moving it away from her face and smirking at the dry look she gave him. He would have thought she was over this shyness, but then again, he still found the blushes absolutely adorable...

Shaking his head to dispel those thoughts when he had more important questions, he covered their hands with his other one, "Now tell me what it was that you thought needed to be private. What did the voices tell you?"

The look she gave him told him that she was in no way finished with his comments on their sleeping arrangements, but she knew he deserved to have his questions answered this time. With that in mind, she set her jaw and sighed out, "The voice said some... other things, but they were more personal. I didn't want to say them in front of Sango and Miroku-sama."

Inuyasha frowned, cocking his head to one side as he thought about that, "Go on."

Kagome looked down at her lap, lacing her fingers with his as she gathered her courage to explain, "Do you remember how I wanted you to remind me to thank you for saving my life?"

"Of course I do," he shook his head, even more confused now at the hesitation in her voice. Was it really so bad to make her this nervous about telling him? "What does that have to do with the voice?"

"The first one told me...that it had connected me to you," she replied, taking a bracing breath as she tried to guess how Inuyasha was going to react to hearing all this. She was worried, but she needed help... these voices were getting completely out of hand, "It said that with as much blood as I lost fighting Kikyou, my heart should have stopped."

Inuyasha's hands tightened on hers, "It didn't! You're still alive."

"No, it didn't," she frowned when she felt the tattoo begin to pulse, gently at first, but then with increasing speed and heat. "It said the only reason it didn't was that you stayed with me. It said that my heartbeat was following yours; your heart was beating for mine..."

"My heart?" his brows rose sharply, his voice thick with surprise.

Kagome nodded, a light blush on her cheeks as she smiled at him tentatively, "It said that if you had left me, my heart wouldn't have had anything to follow and it would have stopped. You were the only thing that kept me from dying."

Inuyasha's arms were around her, dragging her into his lap so fast that if she blinked she would have missed seeing him move. He pressed his face into the curve of her neck, letting out a heavy breath as he held her close. She had no idea how he'd managed to do it without something pulling or twinging, but even then he had been remarkably gentle with her.

For a long moment he didn't say a word, just held her close and breathed deeply in an effort to calm his racing heart, 'If I'd left... Kagome would have died...'

"Inuyasha?" Kagome was worried at the silence, awkwardly lifting her good arm to stroke his hair in the same way he'd been doing for her recently in an effort to calm him. She could feel the tautness in his limbs, the faint trembling that she likely would have missed were she not so sensitive when it came to the hanyou. "Are you all right?" she asked softly.

A shudder wracked through him from top to bottom before he gritted out between clenched teeth, "Fuck, how can you even ask me that?!" He lifted his head, moving back only enough to look at her face, "Dammit, Kagome, it would have so fucking easy to lose you and not even realize it! It would have been my fault if you'd died and you ask me if I'm fucking all right!?"

Kagome opened her mouth, but closed it again quickly at the ferocity of his glowing eyes, her own wide as he held her gaze effortlessly.

"Do you know how many times the others tried to get me to put you down that night?" he cupped her face in his hands and growled out, his voice almost too quiet to hear. "Or even after that? They were constantly telling me to take a fucking break and leave you with them. If I'd listened once...ONCE, Kagome... If that voice is right, you'd be dead now," closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to hers.

"But you stayed," she murmured, closing her own eyes as she felt the tears rising in response to the pain in his voice. "You didn't let me die, Inuyasha. You kept me safe..."

"Can you even imagine how fucking glad I am that I told them to go to hell?" he continued as though she hadn't spoken. "How fucking-"

Kagome tilted her head and very gently pressed her lips to his to cut off the flow of words. The moment she touched him, Inuyasha's hands slid deep into her hair, fisting to hold her still while he took the lead. The kiss turned consuming, intense and frantic as he poured out his frustration and fears into her mouth through his own. Kagome responded easily, leaning into him with her hand sliding down to rest lightly on his cheek as she tried to convey whatever comfort he was looking for in the devouring kiss.

Inuyasha was the one to break the searing contact, panting lightly as he pressed her face into his throat, his body trying to curl around hers in an instinctive protective motion. He held her still, his heart racing even more frantically than before and blood pounding in his ears as he tried to calm himself. It took everything he had not to just drag her to him and let himself get lost in that almost drugging warmth she offered, reassure them both that she was alive and well. The strain of holding back made his voice a barely recognizable growl when he demanded, "What else did it tell you, Kagome?"

Kagome was shaking with the after-effects of that kiss, feeling like her head was swimming, but she cleared her throat and did her best to gather her thoughts and answer, "It...ah, it said that it's still doing it. It told me that your soul won't let go of mine even though I'm healing."

Inuyasha very carefully moved his hand down to hover over the healing wound at her side, "How?"

"It didn't know," she turned her face so she could rest her cheek on his shoulder. "It was surprised you had done it, and it was saying it was trying to figure it out. And that it was your soul that kept the others from getting into my head. So when I left you and then got mad, it was like I was inviting the other one in."

"It's not your fault, Kagome," Inuyasha's hold on her tightened, his mind reeling with implications. Had that weird monk just been trying to connect Kagome to him? She'd said the magic was distorted by her own, so was it really meant to be an innocent spell at the start? But why the hell would some future monk be trying to connect them? One thing was certain... If this voice was telling Kagome that he was the thing keeping out the one that had tried to kill her, AND him, he had even more reason to keep her close.

Kagome gave a short, bitter laugh, "Yes it is. If I'd listened to it, to you, and stayed close this never would have happened. But I went for a walk and then I got attacked and... It told me not to get angry, but I did, and I... I listened to the other voice. To that man..."

Inuyasha was growling again at the reminder of the second, more destructive voice, "What did HE say? When I found you, what did he say to you to send you over the edge like that and attack?"

Kagome shivered, pressing herself against him for comfort as she remembered what she'd done, and what she could have done if Inuyasha hadn't stopped her, "At first it was just whispering...telling me I was weak. When you came it changed into the man's voice. He..."

When her voice broke, he turned his head to rub his cheek against her hair, a soothing rumble in his throat as he stroked her back, "It's all right, Kagome. You can tell me. I'll be able to make sure it doesn't happen to you again."

It might not have been completely true or at least no something he could be certain of, but Kagome took comfort in it anyway. Sighing deeply, she inhaled Inuyasha's warm, earthy scent, still more than a little amazed that it was so easy when it used to seem so subtle. She pressed her cheek to his chest to hide her face before she spoke, "He was telling me that you wanted me dead. You'd stopped me from killing Kikyou so she could kill me and the two of you could be together."

Inuyasha snarled violently, yanking back and grabbing her chin to look down at her with his eyes glowing fiercely, "Dammit, Kagome, you listened to that shit? What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I WASN'T thinking right, dammit!" she flinched away from the anger in his voice and snapped back defensively. "I was shot and all I saw was that you'd stopped me and Kikyou attacked me again! Then I saw you and her so close and he was in my head telling me that if I killed you he'd come for me. He kept telling me that he wouldn't think I was a copy and that he would..."

Inuyasha's eyes gleamed dangerously, "He would...?"

"He said he would love me," she answered in a low voice, still more than a little disturbed by that and worried at what the hanyou would say when he heard that. "He wanted me to stay angry and use that to keep a hold on my strength. And he said not to touch you or let you touch me. He said that you would try to kill me."

Inuyasha's eyes hardened dangerously, his lips pulling back in a deadly snarl as he pulled her tightly against him, "No one is going to take you from me, Kagome."

Kagome closed her eyes, her hands clenching so tightly in his haori that her knuckles turned white, "He wanted me to kill you... I would have..."

"No, you wouldn't have," he soothed insistently when he smelled the fear enter her scent, his ears flattening back as he pressed her face against his throat again. "I told you I'm not letting anything happen to you and I mean it. Just calm down, koibito, calm down."

Kagome obediently took deep breath, closing her eyes and burrowing down into his comforting warmth. Under Inuyasha's softly murmured encouragement, the panic slowly eased until she had herself back until control. Breathing deeply, she managed to offer, "If you hadn't used your word, I don't know what would have happened."

Inuyasha let his lips quirk in a small smile, relieved that she was calming, "Well, it's only fair right? You've used yours to save me from time to time."

Kagome frowned as a thought occurred to her and she leaned back to look up at Inuyasha with surprise on her face, "He didn't know about it!"

His eyes filled abruptly with confusion, "Know about what?"

"The spell," she clarified. "He was pissed off because you subdued me. He said if he'd known you could do that he would have gotten me out of there before you could use it."

Inuyasha went silent for a long moment, his hands fisting in her shirt as yet again his expression went dark with rage. The man the invaded her mind had intended to steal Kagome away, not just try to get her to kill him. Inuyasha felt his slowly blood heat with the instinctive desire to roar out his intent to rip the unknown man apart for even thinking he could take something that belonged to him.

Unable to stop the violent growl rising from deep in his gut, he repeated slowly, "Would have gotten you out of there?"

Kagome's eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she whispered, "He said he'd come for me after I killed you. When you touched me, he was screaming in my head, and I was in... so much pain. But the longer you held me, the less I could hear him. It wasn't until you pushed him out that I could feel I was hurt. Something he did blocked it out..."

Inuyasha moved one hand down to her hip, his fingers flexing over the tattoo before he raised it to press his palm over her heart. His eyes burned into hers, holding her with the intensity when she would have turned away. He bent his head to give her a quick, hard kiss, "It won't happen again, Kagome. There's no fucking way I'm letting him come after you. That's a promise."

Transfixed by the look in his eyes, she could only nod when he continued to watch her expectantly. Wide-eyed, she stared up at him as he lifted his hand from her heart to stroke it over her face. He leaned in close again, his hand moving to cup her cheek, but when he stopped a breath away from her she whispered uncertainly, "Inu...yasha...?"

"You belong to me."


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