Thursday, January 6, 2005

   InuYasha 38
'Just what the hell did you think you were doing? I said stay close to the hanyou, dammit, I didn't say fuck him!'

'I knew I shouldn't have taken a nap,' Kagome growled, her hackles rising in immediate defense as she searched the echoing darkness for the direction of the voice. 'It's none of your fucking business that I slept with Inuyasha! Do you have to invade my personal life along with everything else? Can't I have even that be private, hn? YOU cast a spell to connect us, dammit, and now we ARE! Why do you care that we had sex when all this time you've been pushing us together?'

'Do you have any conception of what you've done to yourself? To your blood? Or are you seriously trying to permanently alter your soul?' one of the disembodied hands she had felt on her other trips to the dreamscape snaked out and caught her wrist to drag her forward. 'The hanyou isn't even aware of how deeply he's bound the two of you together! He isn't conscious of the changes he's causing in you because it's all being down by his blood inside you and his soul wrapped with yours. And after that mess with the undead miko, your soul isn't even fighting it, it's fucking helping him do it!'

'What the hell are you talking about?' Kagome wrenched her hand free of the painful grip and demanded, folding her arms over her chest.

'Every time the hanyou takes you, his soul wraps itself even more tightly around yours, and that's making it much more difficult for us to study the original distortion of your own magic with the spell. His soul is attacking any foreign presence that comes near you and it's ruining our efforts!'

Kagome snorted in disgust, 'So that's what's pissing you off. Inuyasha's keeping you from traipsing around in my head whenever you damn well please.'

'Miko, this is serious. As a human, your blood should not be protecting the youkai blood he left inside you after the new moon, but it is. It should not have absorbed into you at all. Instead of purifying the blood as it should have, your miko blood moved it into your heart to keep it safe. When you mated, his blood filtered yours through his and then dispersed throughout your body on its own.'

'So? If it was already there, what difference does it make if it was in my heart, or if my blood filtered through his, or even if it's all mixed in?' her expression tightened in a stubborn effort to hide her concern at what the voice was saying, but she was unable to keep it completely out of her voice.

'You are weaving the youkai blood with your miko powers, and that damn hanyou's soul and blood are more than willing to help you do it! For every step you take, his instincts take two and the combined distortion you created when you mated with him made it impossible for anything to distinguish where your blood separates. By doing it over and over, all you did was solidify that binding!'

'What...what does that mean?' she asked quietly, her hand clenching into white-knuckled fists as she waited for the answer.

'It means, little miko, that we will never be able to extract that youkai blood from you,' the hand covered her hip, palming the mark and making it heat. 'You have sealed yourself, with the help of your hanyou, more completely to him that we ever could. He fights to keep you bound to him, and you do not fight against it. You don't want to be released. If we tried it now, we could kill you in the attempt.'

'What do you mean you can't extract it?!' Kagome's voice was barely audible, her face rapidly paling as her eyes went wide. 'What does that mean? I'm not a hanyou and that means I'm still human, aren't I?'

'In a way.'

A wave of nausea went through Kagome so strongly it buckled her knees and she dropped heavily to the ground. Reeling from the hesitant words, she swallowed convulsively and gasped, 'Wha-what the fuck does that mean?!'

'Have you looked at your reflection lately, miko? Some of the changes you and the hanyou are making to you are subtle, but you are drawing off the youkai blood selectively... It's not something we've ever seen done before.'

'Like?'

'You eyes have grown pale.'

'My...eyes?' she repeated in disbelief.

'You've noticed that your muscles are reshaping themselves? Your clothing no longer fits the way it used to? Your levels of strength and endurance are now dependant on the hanyou's condition or the amount of energy you are capable of drawing in from your surroundings. You should try to cut yourself, it will be difficult to do and it will heal quickly so long as the hanyou is well.'

Kagome's mouth slowly fell open, her hands lifting to cover her ears in denial of what she was hearing, but the voice still penetrated.

'You haven't even noticed the sensitivity of your senses, have you, Kagome?'

Kagome bit down on her lip hard, tears springing to her eyes as she choked out, 'What am I?'

The voice was quiet, but when it came again, it had lost the slightly mocking edge to become soft and almost apologetic, 'We don't know. You still smell human and feel human to anything with the skills to test you, but you are not one of them any longer. Don't think you're alone in this, however, the hanyou has changed slightly as well. He just does not sense it because it has not decreased any of his abilities.'

Kagome blinked, lifting her head as she frowned, 'I don't understand. If I still feel human, how can you say I'm not?'

'It's almost as if despite how deeply intertwined the blood has become, the youkai blood is content to lie dormant. However, if you are attacked or threatened, it pushes your human blood aside and takes dominance, but feeds off your miko powers to make itself stronger. Your skills have made all this very complicated.'

'How does it push it aside?' she shook her head, nervously reached down to touch her throbbing hip.

'Youkai blood is stronger than human blood. Your blood retreats without fighting and lets it run wild inside you. When you fight, you feel like a youkai and you pull your instincts from the hanyou.'

'Why didn't you tell me this would happen before? Didn't you think I might not have done this if I knew?' Kagome demanded, slamming her fist into the ground beside her.

'For one thing, we had no idea you were so close to mating with him. We also had no idea the consequences of that action would be this severe until it had been done. Nothing can change this.'

'Have you made it your sole fucking purpose in your life to completely ruin mine?' her eyes narrowed sharply in anger. 'The only time you tell me anything is when it's too damn late to change it and all you do is rant that I should have known better?! What else aren't you telling me that could change my life for good?'

'Calm down, Kagome, you are still no good to anyone when you become angry. In a way, you are worse than even Inuyasha because you have not learned control. We are close to finding the answers, but please do as I say from now on.'

'What do I have to do?' her lip curled in disgust at the commanding tone.

'You still must stay close to the hanyou, however, try to keep the mating down to a minimum, hn? Make him help you with learning how to control it. Do not fight until you have learned, you throw the path to your mind wide open when you fight.'

'Is that all?' she drew her knees up to her chest, looking straight ahead even when she sensed the voice come closer.

'Don't tell the hanyou about any of this yet. It's hard enough with him unaware of our efforts, if he started to actively fight our attempts we might never figure out how to close the vulnerability.'

'I've changed my mind.'

'In what way?'

Her lips curved in a humorless smile, 'Before I said I'd give you a black-eye. Now I think I'll just kill you.'

**

Inuyasha stroked his hand over Kagome's hair as she slept, frowning at the agitation in her scent, 'A nightmare, maybe?'

"Shippo-chan, aren't you going to eat?" Sango looked at the little kitsune draped over Inuyasha's thigh in concern.

Miroku calmly offered, "He stayed up eating what was left of Kagome-sama's candy. He thought she would take it back when she found he had broken his end of the deal."

Inuyasha chuckled softly, ruffling the kit's hair with his free hand before reaching for the ramen Sango offered, "Made yourself sick, didn't you, brat?"

Shippo gave him a glare before rolling over onto his stomach and groaning, "I'm dying, leave me alone."

Inuyasha was about to respond when Kagome shot up with a sharply indrawn breath, her hand pressed hard over her heart. Concerned, he reached out and caught her face, frowning when he saw how pale it had become, "Kagome? What's wrong?"

Kagome blinked rapidly, her chest rising and falling in nearly a pant as her gaze darted around the grove in obvious disorientation. When she felt a light squeeze on her chin again, she turned and focused on Inuyasha's face, shaking her head briefly to dispel the last of her latest "visit" to the voice.

"What is it?" Inuyasha's brows drew low, shifting his weight to put himself directly in front of her.

"A... a dream..." she closed her eyes, lifting her hand to her forehead and forcing herself to take a deep breath. "It was... just a dream. I'm all right now."

Shippo dragged himself from Inuyasha to Kagome's side, tentatively patting her leg to get her attention, "Do you hate me?"

Kagome tilted her head to one side, reaching out to pat the kit's head, "No. I'm still annoyed with you, but I don't hate you."

Shippo gave her the best smile he could manage with his stomach hurting so badly and crawled his way into her lap to whine miserably, "Kagome, I'm dying!"

Her brows furrowed in confusion and she looked up at Inuyasha inquiringly. He snorted and reached out thunk the kitsune lightly on the head, "Idiot ate all the candy you gave him after he told me 'the secret.'"

Kagome smacked him in the shoulder and glared at him, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Threatening Shippo-chan like that."

Inuyasha shrugged, unconcerned and sat back to retrieve his lunch, "It worked out to my advantage."

Miroku winced, sliding a little farther away from the hanyou in preparation for what that was going to bring down on his head. Sango pretended to be very engrossed in her own bowl, but her eyes moved from Inuyasha's unsuspecting smile, to the dangerously bland look now gracing her friend's face.

Kagome set Shippo aside with a final pat on his head and rose to her feet, casting her eyes about for something that would adequately portray her annoyance at that little comment. One brow arched high in speculation when her gaze found the Hiraikotsu behind her with Sango's belongings and she turned a quick glance to the exterminator. At the slight nod of permission, she leaned down and caught the handle the way she'd seen the older girl do, surprised at how easy it was to lift even as she turned and brought it down over Inuyasha's head.

Standing back amidst the all out laughter from her other companions, she set her fist on her hip and smiled as sweetly as she could manage into the hanyou's dazed face, "How's this working out?"

"Bitch, what'd you do that for?" he sat up, grimacing as he rubbed his aching head.

Kagome set the boomerang back where she'd found it and turned back towards the now familiar path to the hot spring, "Wait here, Inuyasha, I'm just going to wash my face and come back."

"But-" he started to get to his feet, but paused when she gave him that same bland look. "Keh, five minutes," Inuyasha snorted and turned his back on her.

"Ten," she folded her arms over her chest stubbornly. "I mean it, give me a second alone for once."

He gave her a dry look over his shoulder, "Things are just a little bit different now, Kagome."

Kagome spun on her heel quickly to hide the blush that brought to her face, clearing her throat and hurrying out of sight, "Five it is then."

Inuyasha smirked and leaned back, giving the highly amused humans a smug nod, "See? Kagome does know she has to listen to her mate."

Sango rolled her eyes and glanced in the direction of the path, shivering slightly when the wind changed direction and drew a cloud across the sun, "I'd love to hear you say that to her face, Inuyasha."

Miroku snorted, shaking his head, "I believe even Inuyasha has more self-preservation instincts than that."

Inuyasha glared at them, but his attention had been caught by the wind-shift and he turned his head to focus on the elusive scent. It was almost as if there was something waiting just out of range that had been caught unexpectedly, but was still trying to avoid detection.

Inuyasha rose to his feet, his eyes trained out into the woods, "Wait here, I'll be back in just a second."

"You can't go far," Sango reminded, glancing in the direction Kagome had gone. "Not unless you want-"

"I know how close I have to stay to her," he assured the girl absently. "I won't put her out of range, but I have to check on something."

Miroku frowned, coming to his feet as the hanyou vanished, "This cannot be good."

**

"Five fucking minutes," Kagome muttered to herself, splashing water on her face and raking her hands through her hair in an effort to dispel the grim sense the voice had given her. "Goddamn overbearing, arrogant, thick-headed-hrm?!"

Kagome was cut off abruptly when a hand covered her mouth, bindings appearing seemingly from nowhere and pinning her arms at her sides. Panicked, she snapped her head back, catching her assailant off-guard enough that the hold loosened. She'd just drawn in a breath to scream when the hand returned, this time with the attacker's other arm around her throat to cut off her air.

Kagome's eyes narrowed, her heart pounding as she felt what the voice had been talking about. A strange rush that left her light-headed, setting her body tingling as her blood heated in preparation to attack. Identifying the sensation only made it that much easier to get angry, and the presence behind her went still at the sudden menacing vibration that filled the air around them.

"Dammit, miko, be calm or we'll both get killed! I only want to talk to you!"


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