Friday, January 28, 2005

   Chapter 45: A Sense Of Madness...
Everything was buzzing.

Kagome clenched her fists over her ears, a small whimper escaping her as she tried to curl in on herself and block out the sudden return of sound, much louder than everything she could recall ever experiencing. Underneath the nearly deafening pounding of her heartbeat in her own ears, she could make out unidentifiable crashes, roars and metallic clangs. More disturbing was the echo of a man screaming angrily deep beneath all of that, the sound inside her head rather than reaching her ears like all the others. She cringed when each new throb of noise sent pain shuddering through her already battered body.

She couldn't make out the words the man was screaming, but her brows slowly drew together when she tried to focus on the feelings radiating from it instead. When all she could distinguish was frustrated anger and a sort of disjointed hatred, her confusion grew. Why was that man angry? And where was she? She could vaguely remember a strange feeling of power moving through her, making her entire body tingle and making it impossible for her to access her own memory. Like her thoughts were being blocked. Something was wrong with her mind, she knew it.

She just didn't know what it was.

Kagome could feel herself being pulled in two directions, and with every pull her thoughts losing their clarity. The more she lost her hold on her own mind, the stronger her instincts rose to take over. She let her eyes open a bare slit, looking down at Shippo's pale face and teary eyes when a wave of menace swept from the screaming voice towards the little kitsune and took her by surprise.

Kagome's lips pulled back in a snarl and she swept him protectively to her chest, instinctively throwing up violent barriers against the source of the threat towards her little kit. 'I...I should know him... Why don't I know who this is? I know I should!' her hands tightened on him, instincts growing even stronger with her confusion and pushing violently against the cause of her distress.

Both Inuyasha and Naraku let out a grunt of surprise, Naraku staggering back away from the source of the intense magic even as Inuyasha straightened his stance, his gaze drawn to Kagome in alarm. His eyes narrowed when he found the white fuzzy ears near the top of her head in stark contrast with her black hair, flattened to her skull as though the noises reaching them were painful to her. She had Shippo clutched tightly in her arms, her fangs bared in unspoken threat to something that he couldn't see.

She looked like a hanyou again... but she still felt like a youkai and he didn't feel human, so how had she changed?

He glanced down at himself in mild surprise even as his senses made him aware of his own unexpected transformation. He was in his youkai form, a full youkai, but unlike the last time, he was still in control of himself. There was no unreasonable urge to tear anything and everything to bits, no mindless rage threatening to split his head apart, just a steady confident pulse of power. He was disturbingly calm. Although...

Inuyasha looked at the transformed Tetsusaiga pulsing strongly in his fist, up to Naraku's strained expression, and then to Kagome's taut form. He could feel the barriers, intense magic sweeping through him, unconsciously latching onto his familiar blood even as it drove Naraku back several steps. Kagome was suddenly blocking out everything around her, and the more she blocked, the stronger her heartbeat became in his ears. Naraku's own barriers around her were dissolving and he could feel himself relax slightly when the smell of her blood stopped increasing. She might not be balancing yet, but their link was starting to recover.

He shot Naraku a triumphant grin and growled out, "She’s got my ears now, Naraku. Whatever you were using to block her out is worthless. So now how do you intend to keep me out of her head?"

Naraku pulled back in a long sweeping motion as he pressed his hand over the Shikon-no-Tama, gritting his teeth in alarm, 'She's…started purifying the energy inside herself, and it… turned Inuyasha into a youkai?!'

"Damn that fox brat," he shot the kitsune a fierce scowl even as he rose to his feet again and faced Inuyasha. "It makes no difference, Inuyasha. She is still unbalanced, and Kagome would come for the jewel before she came for you like this. She knows the hanyou, not the youkai."

Inuyasha's smile altered slightly into smug arrogance and he made a sound very much like a growling bark. Naraku's lips tightened when Kagome's head snapped up and focused on Inuyasha, her ears twisted towards him as the glassy look in her eyes cleared slightly. Shippo twisted slightly to glance at him from the corner of his eye when he heard the unmistakable command, his hands tightening in Kagome's kimono and urging her to hold him closer even as he let out a little yip in answer.

"She knows her mate, Naraku, hanyou or youkai," Inuyasha's voice lowered to a deadly hiss. "And you'll know it too before I kill you."

Miroku stumbled back in alarm when Inuyasha shot forward, slicing through the tentacles that had previously held him captive and slamming into Naraku with every bit of strength he was capable of producing. His dark eyes, however, were locked onto Inuyasha's face, moving over the double stripes angled up his cheeks and the glowing scarlet and blue eyes, "Oh hell…"

Sango turned to see what had captured the monk's attention and sucked in a sharp breath, "B-but the sword! Inuyasha shouldn't turn to his youkai form with the Tetsusaiga!"

Miroku turned to watch Kagome as she took one arm from around Shippo and shakily rose to her feet, but it was the fuzzy ears twitching this way and that through her hair that had his eyes light with understanding. "Look at Kagome-sama, like when he fought before and it spilled over to her… He's in control of the blood this time?" his hand tightened on his staff as he watched the youkai around them stir.

"Something about that spell?" Sango looked warily around them as well as the youkai shook off the daze caused by Inuyasha's explosion of energy.

Miroku's lips quirked in a dry smile as he took a defensive position, "Sango, your guess is as good as my own at this point."

Kagome heard the demand clearly, this one cutting through all the other sounds to reach her ears and run through her blood in a command for attention and obedience. This one was different from the screaming in her head, the painful ache and throb dulling at the feel of it, soothing her chaotic senses. It was impossible to ignore, commanding obedience even as she shook her head in an effort to clear her hazy thoughts.

The sound faded and she snapped her head up, clutching Shippo protectively as her eyes found the youkai standing in profile to her. The sight of him brought a frown to her face and she tilted her head to one side to watch as he spoke with another creature wrapped in white pelt of some sort. She should recognize them, shouldn't she? Especially that inu youkai… something about him drew her closer, made her feel calm, but why?

"Okaa-san?" Shippo tugged at her nervously, drawing her gaze down to him in surprise.

'Okaa-san?' Kagome's brows drew together in confusion and she lifted a hand to Shippo's cheek to brush off the fresh tears. 'I'm his mother? What happened that I don't remember being a mother?!'

A glimmer of recognition went through her the longer she stared down at the kit, oblivious to the sounds of battle crashing in the background. Shippo, this was Shippo. She protected him for years, and he said she was his mother. Kagome latched onto that thought, determined to have at least one portion of clarity through her disorientation. Until her head cleared of that hideous screaming and the pain and haze, she would settle for what her real instincts were telling her, and they were telling her to protect the kitsune no matter what.

That man, the one screaming in her head and making it pound was threatening the kitsune child, and she forcefully pushed against the presence in her mind. The more she pushed, the more she felt the other one trying to seep into her, but she stubbornly resisted that call as well. Her mind was trying to clear in slow degrees as she became aware of the pain humming through her body, and if the first had fogged her thoughts to this extent, no telling what that second presence would do. Better to keep them both at bay until she could think straight and protect Shippo.

"Shh, its okay, Shippo-chan," she soothed, stroking a hand over his head.

Shippo blinked rapidly, his eyes widening as they searched her scarlet gaze, "You're… you're okay? You're you?"

She frowned, not understanding what he was asking, but she still sought to comfort him, "I'll be fine. Don't worry, I'll protect you."

Inuyasha felt a jolt run through him, Kagome's emotions starting to untangle as he blasted through another wave of Naraku's youkai. His narrowed gaze slid to where Kagome had risen to her feet, her face set with determination as she watched them fight, but her eyes were glassy again, glowing scarlet without a hint of recognition. Inuyasha swore beneath his breath, 'So that's why I'm not fighting my own instincts like that. They all fucking went into Kagome!'

He was wary, confused at the way Naraku kept retreating while Kagura sat by and watched expressionlessly. He could see the lines of strain on Naraku's face every time he got close, and it seemed to become more severe with each pulse and shift of the aura surrounding Kagome.

Naraku sent Kagura a sharp glare, "Get her out of here!"

Inuyasha's rage sparked all over again and he let out an enraged roar as he released another blast of the Cutting Wind, "Stay the fuck away from Kagome, you bastard!!"

Kagura leapt out of the way as the long furrows tore through the ground under the force of his swing, landing close to Kagome and sending her a nervous glance as Naraku lashed out at the hanyou-gone-youkai again. She was starting to highly regret getting involved with this. A human and a hanyou turning youkai and vibrating with unreal powers; the Shikon miko not more than a few feet away with her own miko skills mature and well and quite possibly about to purify the jewel using only her connection through Naraku's energy.

"Kagome, we must leave," Kagura reached out for her, a chill going through her when Inuyasha's narrowed gaze found her beside his mate. "Come before he attacks us!"

Kagome's hand snapped out and caught the wind youkai's wrist, the touch nearly crushing and sending Kagura to her knees as her own energy was almost violently drained away. Her lips pulled back in a snarl as she yanked Kagura forward and demanded, "You are with that man in my head?"

Kagura caught herself awkwardly with her free hand, the blood draining from her face as she cast Naraku a desperate look, but Naraku had his hands full defending against Inuyasha's enraged assault, "Hai, Kagome. I am with the man in your head. We must go!"

Kagome let out a soft growl that Shippo instantly obeyed, vanishing down the front of her kimono to leave her hands free as she turned to fully face the youkai, "That is unfortunate for you. He makes my head hurt and threatened my son."

Inuyasha heard the high-pitched scream of pain and spun, expecting to see Kagura attacking Kagome. He fell back a step in involuntary surprise to see Kagome holding the wind youkai aloft with one hand, the other covered in blood. Kagome snarled, slamming Kagura into the ground forcefully enough that it cracked beneath her. The air around them sparked madly as the purifying energy inside her revived and attacked Naraku's aura.

Inuyasha set his jaw; glaring as he fought to take back some of his rage and prevent Kagome from hurting herself. Her eyes locked onto his when she felt him trying to pull his emotions away from her and with a growl, she released Kagura and leapt back to avoid his attempts. Her eyes darkened as she swept her aura out in a wide arch to wrap it tightly with the rage feeding her strength, and he swore at the dark look in her eyes. Kagome didn’t want to balance… She felt threatened and she could sense her best defense was in his blood, so she refused to let it return to its real owner.

"Dammit," he shot out of the way as Naraku shattered the ground he'd been presently occupying. 'Physical contact… That fucking voice said it would take contact to snap her out of it this time. I have to get to her before she kills herself.'

Frustrated and even more enraged that he couldn't take the time to rip into Naraku the way he wanted to, he spun around, bringing the Tetsusaiga up even as he focused the attack, "Kaze no Kizu!"

Miasma exploded from where Naraku had been waiting even as he dodged to the side, sliding around to put himself behind Kagome. "This isn't finished, Inuyasha," he slid his arm tightly around Kagome's waist and brought her up against him.

Inuyasha had barely taken the breath to scream again when Naraku was flung away from her, barely righting himself as he stared at the girl turned in profile between Inuyasha and himself. Her clawed hand came up to protectively pat the kitsune peeking out the top of her robes as her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Don't fucking touch me or my son!" Kagome growled out, holding out her hands as she gathered her powers. “You goddamn sonofabitch!”

'Fuck, just how confused is she?!' Inuyasha gaped at Shippo's delighted face to the rage on Kagome's. "Kagome! Come here!" he barked out when he saw Naraku tensing in reaction to her aura flaring.

"Stay out of this, youkai," she snapped back, abruptly tensing as she flung her hands out towards Naraku. "And you! Get out of my head, dammit!"

Inuyasha took full advantage of Naraku's attempt to dodge Kagome's purifying energy, leaping into the path he tried to take and brought the Tetsusaiga around to catch him deeply from shoulder to hip. Naraku let out a bellow of outrage and twisted to the side, right in the path of Kagome's claws.

Encouraged by her attack, Inuyasha reached out to try and catch her around the waist, but Kagome twisted with remarkable agility and back-kicked him in the gut hard enough to stagger him. They both ducked as Naraku lashed out with his tentacles, Inuyasha coming back up with his sword as Kagome's rolled forward and caught hold of Naraku's side. Steam hissed from where she touched and Naraku jerked away violently, his hand hovering over the melted pelt and scorched flesh beneath.

Miroku blinked in surprise when there were no new attacks, turning until he found the three "youkai" fighting almost where Kagome had been originally standing. Kagura lay motionless, pale, and bloody in a portion of crushed ground. He could feel Sango at his side, watching tensely as Inuyasha made another grab for Kagome only to have the girl dodge and attack him before refocusing her efforts on the weakening Naraku.

"It's…almost like that fight with Kouga," Sango shook her head as she watched Kagome dodge a blast of miasma while Inuyasha nearly severed Naraku's outstretched arm.

Miroku frowned, "No… Kagome-sama is fighting wild, trying to keep them both away from her. She’s even attacking Inuyasha."

Feeling a bit dizzy watching the three-way fight, Sango glanced up at the monk's face to gauge his reaction to what they were seeing, "This can't continue, Houshi-sama."

"I don't believe there's anything we can do to help," he set his jaw and tried to follow the confusing match, with Inuyasha and Naraku alternately attacking each other and trying to catch hold of Kagome while she in turn fought to keep them both away from her. None of them were in the same place long enough for them to effectively join the fight without risking injury to their friends.

Inuyasha snarled when Kagome slid around behind him, sweeping his legs out from under him and sending him to the ground, "Fuck this! Kagome, stay!"

Kagome shrieked in outrage when she dropped to the ground, while Inuyasha flipped back to his feet, "You youkai bastard!"

Naraku's mouth tightened when he felt a new flash of weakness chase through him, reaching beneath his pelt to touch the Shikon jewel in an effort to draw out more power. His hand froze when his flesh met the warm surface, the tainted feel of the jewel diminishing with every echoed beat of Kagome's heart.

'Damn, she's purifying the jewel without touching it?! She’s using the link I made to reach it!' he looked down at Kagome and then to Inuyasha as he drew back, his own aura humming in preparation for his attack. 'If I don't get away from her, her soul's going to rip me apart!'

"This is your fucking end, Naraku!" Inuyasha's eyes blazed as he brought the Tetsusaiga around, the air thickening with the gathering strength of the sword.

Naraku took one look at Kagome struggling against the immobility of the subduing spell and shot a blast of miasma towards the girl. Inuyasha let out a shout of denial, the maneuver only half completed as he reversed his forward motion to shield Kagome’s vulnerable position.

Kagome's gaze snapped up to the youkai who'd just jumped in front of her, her brows furrowing in confusion until she sensed the miasma coming from the other one. Her eyes widened in surprise when she caught the determined look on his face, 'He's saving me?! That idiot youkai! That stuff will kill him!'

Inuyasha gritted his teeth when the first of the miasma hit him, the force pushing him backwards as a sickening hiss filled the air. Kagome felt the pain roil through her when it hit him and reflexively, she rocked forward to bring her to her knees and grabbed the back of his haori.

Kagome closed her eyes, sending a rush of her miko powers through him to neutralize Naraku's poison before it could fully engulf them both. Inuyasha's eyes went huge when he felt the dizzying surge of magic, the blade of the Tetsusaiga turning deep blue a split second before the air around them exploded in a whirlwind of their combined energy.

"Kagura's power?!" Miroku's eyes widened when the ribbons of energy swept out, ripping up the ground as it spiraled towards the startled Naraku.

Kagome paid no attention to the effects of the magic, her arms moving to his waist when he stumbled, "Don't faint on me, youkai. You still have to tell me why you jumped in between us like that."

Inuyasha looked back at her in surprise, one hand releasing the Tetsusaiga to reach back and loop it around her waist, "Kagome-!"

She went stiff under his touch, her claws tensing against him, "That wasn’t a damn invitation, youkai."

"Dammit, bitch, will you snap out of it!?" he snarled, yanking her off her feet to bring her crashing up against him. "Ignore whatever the fuck that voice is saying to you and start listening to me!"

Kagome hissed, bringing her elbow into his stomach and throwing him off her. At the abrupt break of contact, the spiraling magic sparked and slowly faded, but Naraku and Kagura were nowhere to be seen amongst the melted landscape. Inuyasha swore violently, twisting about in an effort to sense where he'd gone, but everything was smothered under that heavy smell of miasma.

His ears snapped back when he heard Kagome move, slamming the Tetsusaiga back into its sheath as he faced her, “Freeze.”

"How do you know about the voice?" Kagome demanded sharply, her body taut and ready to fight or flee to get away long enough to clear her head. She could still hear that screaming voice and it was keeping her from remembering anything with any clarity while the painful haze was starting to really piss her off. And now this inu youkai knew about it? Was it him?

It was more annoying that just looking at him made her feel more relaxed. Something about him that was familiar and soothing, making her want to trust him. She shook her head, scowling at him as her ears flattened back, trying to figure out why she felt that way.

Inuyasha held out a hand to her, "You told me about him last time, Kagome, but we have to get him out of your head so we can heal you. You've been bleeding too much again."

Kagome automatically started to reach for him, stopping herself abruptly and backing away with a growl, "Who are you, youkai? Why did you help me?"

Inuyasha was getting impatient, sliding down into a crouch as he watched her, waiting for a distraction so he could catch hold of her, "You're my mate, Kagome, and you’ll do as I say. Now come here."

Kagome's eyes narrowed sharply, his frustration and temper sparking her own again as she wrapped her arm protectively around Shippo, "You're lying."

"We don't have fucking time for you to remember the hard way!" Inuyasha snarled and leapt at her, barely missing as she dove out of the way and rolled to face him.

Shippo poked his head out of her kimono and looked from Inuyasha's annoyed expression to Kagome's determined one. Worried, he reached up and tugged on her hair to get her attention before he turned to the bristling hanyou/youkai, "Inuyasha? Are…are you okay?"

"Inuyasha?" Kagome frowned when a jolt went through her hearing the name, and she lifted her hand to her head. This was all so ridiculously confusing that she just wanted to get away from all of them, "What the hell is wrong with my head?"

Inuyasha grunted, shaking his head at her behavior, 'Anyone but me. Couldn't that damn spell make her act like anyone else but me?'

"Kagome-sama!" Miroku had positioned himself behind the changed girl, reaching out in an effort to either shake her out of what Naraku had done or give Inuyasha a chance to get hold of her.

Kagome let out a shout of surprise and shot away from the newcomer, ducking past Inuyasha as she tensed in preparation to run. Inuyasha set his jaw and barked out again, "Stay!"

He let out a heavy sigh, looking down at her as she struggled against the spell. It was sign enough of how confused she was that she didn't shout back at him, but so long as it worked to his advantage he wasn't going to complain. This would at least keep her still so he could make contact.

Inuyasha crouched down in front of her and reached for her chin. When she jerked out of the way, he flashed his teeth at her with a sharp growl that had her instinctively freezing long enough for him to cup his hand beneath her chin, "C'mon, you stubborn little bitch. Don't make me fight with you until you're normal again. It's only fun when you fight back."

She went still the moment his skin touched hers, her mouth falling open and her eyes glazing over when a rush of heat shot through her heart. Inuyasha's brows drew together in response, lifting his other hand to cup her cheeks as he felt the twinge of the spell come to life in the back of his mind. He was alarmed the emotions running through her head, and the strength of his blood as it insistently pushed against him in an effort to keep him out. The voices had been right; she was seeing everything as a threat with her mind like this, even him.

No wonder Kagome was so confused, he thought grimly, reaching out to wrap his arms around her and drag her up into his lap, nearly flattening Shippo in between them. Her blood was all but beaten into dormancy inside her, surrounded so completely by his own in what he could only guess was an effort to protect it from the threats it felt to her soul. Unfortunately, with his blood so strong in her, she was wrapped almost completely in his echoed emotions, her thoughts overwhelmed and subdued by his instincts.

Turning youkai himself couldn't have helped her balance either, only making his blood that much stronger inside her. Although, he couldn't feel any traces of Naraku, so perhaps it had been a good thing after all? As long as he could calm her down and soothe the youkai emotions to bring her own mind back into dominance, he'd be more than satisfied. He just hoped she hadn’t suffered anything permanent.

"Calm down, koi," Inuyasha reached up, rubbing her ears and smiling when she leaned into him apparently against her own will if her annoyed growl was any indication. "That's it. Just relax and let me take all this mess back to me. Let me handle it so you can rest," he urged gently, shooting Sango and Miroku a speaking glare to search for any hints of Naraku's presence.

Kagome shuddered, arching in an effort to get away when she felt her strength draining away from her, but as it faded, more of the haze fell away. Blinking rapidly as the scarlet glow began to fade, she looked at the tense expression on the youkai holding her. She knew him, didn’t she? This was- "Inu…yasha?"

Inuyasha had barely opened his mouth to respond when a faint twang reached his ears, his attention snapping around just as he felt Kagome tense and move in his lap. His brows rose sharply when he found himself staring at the tip of an arrow not more than an inch from his face.

His eyes numbly found the clawed hand wrapped around the middle of the shaft, moving down to Kagome’s own startled expression, her eyes on the arrow before they turned in the direction of the attack. Inuyasha’s ears flattened back as his own gaze narrowed and raised, but he already knew who he’d be looking for.

His arms tightened protectively around Kagome as he rose to his feet, the growl starting low and menacing in his chest, “Kikyou.”


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