Saturday, February 26, 2005

   Chapter 50: Disconnected
Shippo was launching himself at Kagome before Kirara had even started her descent into the grove where Inuyasha and Kagome were gathering up their scattered possessions and repacking what hadn't been ruined. The delighted shriek warned Kagome to look up a split second before the ball of fur slammed into her chest, reflexes brining her arms up around the kit protectively as she slid backwards a full foot, but managed to stay standing.

"Okaa-san!!!" Shippo wailed, his hands tangling in her kimono as he pressed into her so tightly that Kagome had an amused, momentary thought that she'd never be able to detach him. "You're okay! You're... are you normal?" he leaned up and touched her scarred face with curious fingers.

"Oi!" Inuyasha's eyes blazed angrily at the motion, but a narrow look from Kagome stopped him from interrupting.

She turned her azure gaze back to Shippo, stroking a hand through his hair gently, "Hai, Shippo-chan... I'm as normal as I think I can get anymore."

"Oh," he reacted to the slight melancholy edge in her voice by wrapping his arms around her neck and hugging her as hard as he could. "I think you're still the prettiest human I've ever seen, Okaa-san," he assured her in his most serious voice.

"Okaa-san?" Kagome looked down at him, her lips quirking in an affectionate smile.

Shippo looked slightly nervously, turning his gaze down to his lap, fidgeting with a fold of her kimono, "I...Is that okay? I called you that when...ah, when we were fighting...um, and-"

She giggled softly, lifting him up to rub her cheek on his and then press a light kiss to his forehead, "If you want to, Shippo-chan, it's okay."

Inuyasha's ears flattened back as he watched Shippo's eyes brighten before he flung himself into her chest again, nuzzling against Kagome and giving off every sound of happy contentment a nearly baby youkai could make. 'Youkai instincts... Kagome was already bonded to Shippo before this, but she never really understood what it meant to him. And now...'

Sango stared at Kagome in concern as Kirara made her way down, nudging Miroku to murmur, "Houshi-sama... Do you feel it too?"

Miroku nodded somberly, his own gaze on the girl's altered appearance, "Kagome-sama's aura has changed. She still feels human in a way, but it feels youkai underneath that. It's like two separate auras in one body."

"How is that possible?" Sango shook her head in confusion. "If Kagome-chan's human blood was mixed like that, shouldn't it feel hanyou instead of both? Like Inuyasha?"

He sighed deeply as they landed in the grove, keeping his voice quiet in light of the trio with enhanced hearing, "Sango, this has been confusing from the start. We can only hope that either Inuyasha or Kagome will be able to offer us some reason for what has happened to her. Be grateful that they seem to be back to normal."

Kagome's gaze lifted when Kirara landed, her eyes losing the bright glow and taking on a wary sadness as she watched her friends come closer. Inuyasha caught the distress in her mind, the uncertainty and he shot both humans a warning glare. Shippo was one thing, he was a child and certain excuses could be made for his behavior, but Sango and Miroku... He kept his senses carefully attuned to Kagome's emotions when the exterminator started forward, her own eyes full of concern.

"Kagome-chan, are you all right?" she reached out and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl's shoulders, embracing her tightly for a moment before pulling back and studying her face.

Kagome looked at her in surprise, her mouth opening and then closing for a moment as she tilted her head and studied the older girl’s face. When Sango repeated her question, Kagome shook her head, dispelling whatever had held her silent and flung her arms tightly around the exterminator.

Sango grunted with mild surprise and discomfort at the strength in the girl’s arms, but didn’t pull away, instead looking to Inuyasha for some clue as to why Kagome had reacted that way. When the hanyou shrugged and shook his head, his gaze concerned as it moved over Kagome’s shaking form, Sango turned her own attention down and lightly rubbed her hands over Kagome’s back.

“Kagome-chan…” she murmured softly, trying to bring the younger girl some measure of comfort.

“Gomen ne, Sango-chan,” Kagome whispered against her shoulder, her fingers clenching as she fought to control the sudden rise of bile in her throat over the guilt filling her. “I… I just-“

“You have no reason to apologize, Kagome-sama,” Miroku calmly intervened when Inuyasha started forward, setting his hand comfortingly on her shoulder. When she looked up at him in surprise, he smiled affectionately and nodded, “Not even Naraku could stop you from protecting your friends, ne?”

Kagome blinked up at him in disbelief, pulling back slightly from Sango and looking back and forth between her two human friends, “You… you aren’t angry? How can you not be angry with what I did?! I-“

Inuyasha’s arms slid around her from behind and he silenced her with a soft murmur, squeezing her gently to stop her confused tumble of words, “Kagome. Just stop,” he pressed his cheek to hers, completely uncaring that he had an audience at the moment.

“But-!” she craned her neck to look at him, but paused when he shook his head and leaned forward to lightly kiss her forehead.

“Kagome-sama, we are all well aware of Naraku’s tricks,” Miroku drew her attention again, slightly uncomfortable with interrupting Inuyasha, but willing to do so for her welfare. “Our concern is only for your condition,” he reached out and set a hand on her shoulder.

Shippo tugged on her kimono to draw her eyes down to him, “We were so worried, Okaa-san.”

Kagome snuggled back deeper into Inuyasha’s comforting embrace, her eyes shining brightly as she blinked back tears. For a long moment, she could only stare at them in turn, her gaze uncertain and almost fearful before she lowered her head and let her eyes close. She had to swallow several times before she finally managed to whisper softly, “A-arigatou…”

Miroku looked up at Inuyasha inquiringly, patting Kagome’s shoulder as he spoke to the hanyou, “I assume we will be heading back to Kaede’s to discuss this latest development with her?”

Kagome went still when she felt a very definite squeeze at her backside, her head jerking up in surprise while Inuyasha’s lips pulled back in a frustrated snarl, “Bouzu…!”

Sango was faster, bringing Hiraikotsu down over Miroku’s head as her eyebrow twitched in irritation, “Hentai... You think he’d have some respect for what Kagome-chan has gone through.”

Kagome very gently pried Inuyasha’s arms from around her and to the surprise of her companions, knelt down and offered the fallen monk a hand. She smiled warmly at him, her lips twitching suspiciously as she helped him stand and then engulfed him in an embrace that almost knocked to wind out of him.

“Arigatou, Miroku-sama,” she let out a heavy breath, the sound slightly choked with soft laughter. She hid her face to keep him from seeing the smile on her face or the fresh tears in her pale eyes, “Arigatou.”

Miroku smiled affectionately, patting her head and loosely hugging her with his other arm, conscious of the suspicious gazes from Inuyasha and Sango, “Of course, Kagome-sama. Anything to help a friend…”

**

Inuyasha snorted at Kagome as they traveled the familiar roads back towards home, glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes before he muttered, “You’re going to have to tell me what that was about back there with Miroku, Kagome. I don’t want him thinking he can grope you like that.”

Kagome smiled, absently stroking Shippo’s hair as the kitsune napped contentedly in the crook of her arm, “He won’t, Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha growled in annoyance, glaring back at where the monk and exterminator kept pace behind them, “What the fuck was he thinking?”

She sighed and reached out with her free hand, giving his hair a yank to get his attention, “Inuyasha… Do you remember how when this all started, you were trying to get me to actually subdue you?”

The hanyou blustered for a moment, scowling to cover his embarrassment even as a faint blush spread over his cheeks, “What does that have to do with Miroku grabbing your ass like that?”

Kagome gave him a dry look for being crude, shaking her head and rolling her eyes, “Sometimes… sometimes you just need one little thing to make everything feel… normal.”

He blinked in confusion, “Getting groped makes you feel normal?”

She smacked him lightly on the arm, “Don’t be dense, Inuyasha. I know you’re smarter than that.” Her hand slipped into his and squeezed when his fingers tightened on hers, “Did getting subdued make you feel normal?”

Inuyasha shrugged, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand and debating on whether or not he should be carrying her. ‘She was seriously hurt just yesterday… Should she be walking so soon?’ She didn’t “feel” like she was overdoing it, but he was still worried about her. His thoughts were distracted enough that he only grumbled out, “If you had told me what was going on it wouldn’t have been so strange.”

Kagome giggled softly, momentarily wondering how it would have been different if she’d told Inuyasha when she first came through the well. “Miroku made me feel… well, like nothing had changed.”

Inuyasha wrinkled his nose in distaste, “Next time just tell me if you’re feeling like that. It’s easier on my mind to call you ‘bitch’ a few times rather than see someone touch you like that.”

She looked up at his averted profile and smiled, slipping her hand out of his to trail her fingers gently over his cheek, “Gomen, Inuyasha, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Keh,” his amber gaze slid sideways to briefly catch the warmth of her gaze and let it soothe him before he turned his attention back to the road. His arm moved up around her shoulders, pulling her close, “I still want to break his damn nose.”

Kagome leaned her head against his shoulder as she walked, her own arm sliding around his waist, “What the hell did I do to get tied to a stubborn, violent jerk like you, Inuyasha?”

Inuyasha snorted again, rubbing his cheek on the top of her head before he smiled tenderly, “You just got lucky, koi.”

**

Inuyasha looked around the hazy landscape and growled, his anger spiking as he ground the heels of his palms against his eyes, ‘Fuck, I knew I should have stayed awake tonight. All right, where the hell are you this time, you obnoxious sonofabitch?’

To his alarm, the presence that intruded on his senses this time was a tangible thing, rather than the indistinct impressions that he’d had previously. Whatever had brought him to this little in-between consciousness was powerful, and it wasn’t trying to hide that from him.

‘I would have thought you’d be more respectful when you’re unaware of what exactly is waiting for you here, Inuyasha,’ this voice was not as unidentifiable as the last either. This one was obviously a man, arrogant and smooth, but still unfamiliar to him as he cast his gaze about for the owner of that voice.

‘Another one?’ he set his jaw fiercely, turning in a circle as his ears twitched this way and that. ‘How many of you assholes have been running around in Kagome’s head?’

There was a long, weary sigh before the man answered, ‘I have not been “running around” in Kagome-chan’s head as you so eloquently put it. It was much more important for me to come to you.’

‘Me?’ Inuyasha frowned, turning in the direction of the voice and squinting into the darkness.

‘Is that so unbelievable?’ the man laughed softly, but there was a hint of disdainful mockery to it. ‘You are her mate, are you not?’

‘Damn right I am,’ the frown turned instantly into a scowl and he straightened as his temper flared yet again to cover his confusion. ‘Why are you asking that kind of question? Did Naraku send you to get into my head this time after he failed to take her from me? I’ll-!’

‘I did not come to fight with you, Inuyasha,’ now there was definitely an irritated edge to the voice. ‘While I myself prefer to deal with Kagome-chan instead of you, I do not believe she is in the condition to speak with me. Especially not with the way she has begun to manipulate the distortion on her own.’

Inuyasha’s brows rose sharply, ‘Manipulate…on her own? What the-?!’

‘You felt it once, I believe,’ the voice continued, ignoring the shocked hanyou. ‘That disgusting creature truly does understand spells of this nature, and unfortunately, he encouraged Kagome to use the spell to absorb energy when her own has been depleted. Has she tried this yet?’

‘I…I don’t… I’m not sure,’ Inuyasha shook his head fiercely, his heart pounding in his ears as his gaze lowered, eyes unfocused.

There was a slightly exasperated noise, and then a hand closed around his throat, lifting him high and slamming him into the ground before he’d even registered a threat, ‘Has she felt tired in your mind and then suddenly she feels fine? Dammit, Inuyasha, think! This is important.’

Inuyasha growled, not at all surprised when his claws failed to locate the source of the pressure on his throat. However, he obediently searching his memory for something like what this voice was suggesting. His eyes narrowed when he recalled the way her heartbeat had skipped this morning, that moment when he’d been concerned that she might not be balancing the way she should have.

‘What does it mean if she has?’ he demanded in a low voice, his muscles tensing in reaction to the less than encouraging memory.

‘Yes or no, Inuyasha,’ the hand tightened.

‘I haven’t got a fucking clue what you’re talking about, so I can’t say for sure!’ Inuyasha snarled out, mentally plotting all sorts of things to do to these “voices” when he finally found their bodies. ‘Maybe… This morning, she…she got angry and the youkai blood almost took over, but she managed to push it back. She felt tired, but then I felt her… almost skip a beat in my head, but she recovered. She was still balancing.’

The hold vanished and Inuyasha shot to his feet, massaging his throat with one hand and scowling at the voice, ‘Damn… I hadn’t thought she used it so quickly.’

‘What does it mean!?’ Inuyasha demanded angrily, his hands fisting at his sides in helpless frustration. ‘And just who the fuck ARE you?!!’ he threw out his hands in an expansive gesture.

Another sigh, ‘So impatient, Inuyasha. It makes no difference, but if it calms your mind, I am the owner of the spell that was cast on Kagome-chan.’

Inuyasha went perfectly still, his eyes widening for a moment before narrowing as a dangerous growl worked its way from deep in his chest, ‘Y-you?! You worthless bastard! If I ever-!’

‘Calm yourself,’ the voice snorted in disapproval. ‘I am the owner, but I was not the caster. Those two damn idiots stole the spell and cast it on her without fully understanding exactly what they were doing. I was unaware of what had occurred until a short time ago. That is why I am here now instead of them.’

Inuyasha calmed himself with effort, taking several deep breaths to control his urge to blindly attack the admitted source of Kagome’s troubles and pain. This man said he owned the spell, but he also said it had been stolen and cast… So couldn’t this “voice” answer his questions about it? There was only one way to find out.

‘I want some answers,’ he folded his arms across his chest and set his jaw to bite back the curses and threats dying to break free.

‘Make it quick,’ there was an obvious shrug in the sound of the voice, its owner almost apathetic in his responses. ‘We do have something of a time frame in which I can connect to you in this fashion, and we have important matters to discuss.’

‘What was the spell supposed to do?’ Inuyasha’s ear flattened back defensively, half afraid of the answer, but wanting to know all the same.

‘The spell was crafted as a…sort of gift to me,’ he responded casually. ‘The current guardian of the Shikon-no-Tama was aware that I wished to keep a mortal beside me. She used her magic with mine to create a spell that would tie that mortal’s body and soul to my own, so that they would live unchanged through their connection to my soul.’

‘Then you’re a youkai,’ Inuyasha reasoned.

‘That should have been obvious,’ again that disdainful snort that set his teeth on edge. ‘Only a youkai would be strong enough to fashion such a spell.’

Inuyasha ignored that in favor of the question he wanted the answer to the most, ‘What went wrong?’

‘You wish to know how the spell distorted when it was cast on Kagome-chan,’ the voice sighed deeply, giving the impression he felt the question was a waste of time even as he responded. ‘The spell was meant to be cast on a human without magic. Not only that, but the Shikon-no-Tama was used to strengthen the force of the spell, and as Kagome-chan’s aura is disturbingly similar to that jewel, the spell recognized it as its origin. It was never meant to be used on a human with her kind of powers or so ancient a soul.

‘Also, the blood they used is the blood of your future self, and not only that, but they somehow managed to separate your youkai and human blood. Only your youkai blood was used for the mark and added to her association with the jewel, it caused an unexpected reaction. The spell opened up a path to her soul and in doing so turned her into a sort of conduit for not only her own magic, but for youkai magic as well.

‘I can tell you that the spell started out relatively harmless,’ he continued, the sound of his voice much closer than it had been a moment ago. ‘However, it had a ready supply of very powerful magic at its disposal inside of her and it used that magic to make itself stronger and… mature, for lack of a better word. Kagome being… a miko, the youkai blood responded as though it had been threatened, and it was possible she would have killed the spell before it solidified had not one of those idiots used the path to her soul to possess her and fight.’

‘The first fight with those youkai…’ Inuyasha murmured quietly. ‘When she killed them both and Miroku said he felt three magic auras.’

‘One was yours,’ the man agreed, unperturbed by the shock in Inuyasha’s voice. ‘You were unaware of it, but due to your connection through the spell, the other presence in her woke your blood from its dormant state. It sensed the other presence inside her and reacted somewhat violently in its effort to force another male out of her. Although, if Kagome-chan hadn’t trusted you or loved you as she does, though the gods only know “why” she does, it may have killed her. Luckily for you, her soul knows yours and instead of fighting against it, she twisted her aura around it and let it gain strength in her body to make its claim.

‘It was not a normal human reaction to youkai blood and definitely not the reaction of a miko. That was when the spell truly began to change, and to change her along with it. You noticed her behavior began to change? She lost some of her human restraints and inhibitions? She even began to feel and senses things like a youkai when your soul gained dominance.’

Inuyasha sat down, dropping his head into his hands as his mind raced with everything this voice was telling him. These were the explanations that he wanted, but did he really want to hear this? ‘I only noticed when she started hearing things a human shouldn’t,’ he spoke absently.

‘You’re aware of what occurred when that undead miko nearly killed her, ne?’ he could sense the owner of the voice standing above him before a hand came down on his shoulder. ‘That creature manipulated her instinct to survive and somehow teased your blood into almost completely taking over her human side. That miko would have killed her if that hadn’t happened, but that started the dominance in the youkai blood. YOUR soul was terrified of losing Kagome-chan and it took control of her soul through the blood to tie her to you on its own.

‘It was even worse then your human night came. Somehow the blood in you completely transferred to her and her own did the same to you. It was your soul’s decision and it used every moment inside her to prepare her body for when your youkai blood was mixed with her own completely,’ the hand tapped a finger against his shoulder in irritation.

‘What?’ Inuyasha’s head lifted in confusion. ‘I… I didn’t do this! I didn’t do any of this!’

‘In the future, Inuyasha, when they took the blood from you, all of this had already happened,’ he explained, but the sound of his voice turned almost hesitant, as though he didn’t really want to tell him that. ‘When your youkai blood felt that Kagome was not connected to it, it…it was enraged for lack of a better term. You could even say that it overdid it in its effort to connect with the Kagome of your present. And as the blood is still yours, and mixed with your own of now, it made it that much stronger.’

‘Then…everything that’s happened to her is permanent?’ Inuyasha set his jaw, willing to accept that Kagome had been turned into…whatever the hell it was she had turned into because of his blood’s reaction. He was just glad he had forever to figure out how to make it up to her.

‘That is why I have come in place of those two,’ the arrogance was back full force, and the hand lifted off his shoulder. ‘I’ve wasted enough time with your questions when I’ve yet to address the real reason I’m here.’

‘What the fuck are you here for then? To tell me what a mistake this has all been? Are you trying to blame this on me?’ Inuyasha reared up, his eyes blazing angrily as he searched the darkness despite knowing just how futile the action was.

‘Of course not,’ came the dry response, along with a strike from behind than sent him to the ground. ‘Don’t force me to break my promise that I wouldn’t fight with you. I am here to help you, you brainless idiot.’

‘Help? From any of you?’ he snorted, picking himself up and reminding himself over and over that there wasn’t any way to kill this “voice” just yet. ‘I’d rather cut out my own heart.’

The voice was silent a moment and Inuyasha felt a chill rush down his spine when quiet laughter shattered the stillness, ‘Your own heart? You certainly never do anything in halves, do you, Inuyasha?’

‘Shut up,’ he bared his teeth in the direction of the voice, his ears once again flicking in an effort to locate the man so he could pound some of his frustration with the entire mess out on something that could bleed for a change.

There was a deep sigh and then the voice had reverted to his seemingly favored bored disdain, ‘Inuyasha, I can correct most, if not all the damage that has been done to Kagome-chan.’

‘Wha-?! What the fuck?!’ Inuyasha’s spine straightened in shock and he spun in a circle. ‘You can fix the spell? Dammit, why the hell didn’t you say so in the first place?! And why haven’t you done it yet?’

‘Because I need your cooperation for it to work.’

Inuyasha scowled darkly, ‘You did it without my cooperation, why do you need it to fix it?’

‘We’ve tried to correct the spell, but each time we get close to her, your soul attacks us and settles even deeper in her,’ the voice growled out. ‘If we keep trying the effects really will be permanent.’

‘My soul attacks…? Wait, why would my soul attack you for trying to correct the spell?’ his eyes narrowed suspiciously. ‘Just what the fuck do I have to agree to let you do for it to work?’

‘I have to sever your connection with Kagome-chan.’

Inuyasha froze, his eyes going wide and his heart lurching in his chest as he swallowed a painful lump in his throat. He had to have misheard him… The weren’t actually suggesting… His voice was nearly silent when he gritted out, ‘What…what did you say?’

‘I have to disconnect you.’


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