Tuesday, March 1, 2005

   Chapter 52: A Taste Of Something More...
For the first time since she fully understood the workings of the spell, Kagome concentrated every ounce of her soul into not only completely waking the youkai blood inside her, but using it as well. She felt the heavy lurch of her heart adjusting to the thicker blood, her body temperature spiking with each pulse as her strengthened muscles bunched and released to carry her away from what it perceived as a threat.

Kagome's bare feet barely touched the ground in the grove of their campsite before the youkai blood finished taking dominance, the last of her human blood willingly pushed into full submission. Her breath let out in a heavy rush of tangled emotions as her ears transformed, sliding up to the top of her head and twitching in agitation as the last of her youkai features settled in.

“Kagome-sama!” Miroku’s disbelieving whisper snapped her head around, but the hand he’d reflexively extended towards her froze at the pained look in her changing eyes.

“What happened?” Sango was on her feet, her own attention shifting uncertainly between the younger girl and the path Inuyasha had taken such a short time ago.

She slid away from her human friends, feeling awkward and out of place, even as her heart clenched and she could feel the prick of tears making her vision shimmer. Shaking her head viciously to clear the wash of misery, she crouched and leapt beyond the startled Miroku and Sango to vanish into the darkened forest in a blur that would have put Kouga to shame.

In the back of her mind, she was fully aware that running away was probably the worst thing she could do with Inuyasha. He'd chase her down for sure, probably screaming and cursing at her the whole way, but she was honest enough to know that in no way whatsoever was she actually getting away. All she was doing was delaying the inevitable confrontation.

Her lips pulled back in a self-directed snarl of disgust at letting herself get wrapped up in her instinctive response, but that didn't slow her leaping run in the slightest. If he thought she would quietly submit to losing this new side of herself, he would be in for a nasty surprise when he caught up with her. Before she hadn't known she could pull off his abilities and use them for herself, but now... Hell, let him try it! She'd fight against him with his own strength and if not beat him, at least she'd be able to defend until they'd both exhausted their energy.

Go back to the way she was before? That weak, spineless girl she'd been who could barely hold her own in even the simplest fight? She'd been so unsure of her powers, her miko abilities passing at best and horribly inadequate at worst. But now... now all she had to do was concentrate and they reacted as though she'd known how to use them forever. And then, of course, there was her newfound ability to draw strength from the youkai around her, pulling their own power into her to use against them and enhance her skills.

Inuyasha wanted her to give that up?

Her brows drew low as her eyes bled to the full youkai scarlet, 'Not a fucking chance!'

A surge of adrenaline flushed through her system, mingling with her anger and encouraging her to push that much harder in her efforts to physically distance herself from the hanyou. At the same time, however, each step made her wince on a jolt of pain and sadness, dividing her mind until she was arguing with herself so loudly in her own thoughts that her head was starting to ache. Half of her was demanding she stop and run back to him, wanting to know why Inuyasha could even think to ask such a thing. Yet the other half was just as vehemently insisting she keep running to prevent him from finding her and following through on separating their blood.

Maybe this was why youkai tended to be so violent, she mused with an odd sort detachment from the rest of her chaotic emotions. The more she reacted to the sadness and despair from the one side of her thoughts, the deeper she growled, the other side despising that weakness of those feelings even as she used it to fuel her anger and speed. The youkai blood hated that helplessness, and it was steadily forcing it to the back of her mind, telling her instead that she needed to find an outlet for her confusion. Preferably one that could fight back and allow her to lose herself in the thrill of exertion.

One that would bleed.

Kagome shook her head fiercely yet again, trying to clear the uncharacteristic thoughts from her head. Youkai emotions were so strong, and while she was beginning to get used to them, she was still inexperienced enough that she was easily overwhelmed under their crushing influence. Her clawed hands flexed and she bit her lip, trees rushing by with dizzying speed as she tried to ignore the urge to rip something apart with her bare hands.

Ignoring that, however, left her thoughts open to sink back in the reason she was running in the first place and she let out a violent growl of confused aggravation. If she loved Inuyasha no matter what form he was in, how dare he stand there and tell her he was going to disconnect and turn her back into a regular human. Was it that hard to accept her like this?

She LIKED being this way, being a youkai. She finally had the strength to fight the same way the others could, and even considering giving that up for a moment had her chest tightening in frustrated anger. She never asked him to change for her…

Hell, she'd told him how she felt when he was in his youkai form and it hadn’t changed how she felt when he turned back to a hanyou or even human! Couldn't he at least give her that same courtesy of accepting her regardless of what blood was dominant inside her? It wasn’t her mind changing…

Her lips quirked in a sudden twist of sardonic amusement, ‘Well, maybe my mind has changed a little. But I’m still me!’

The amusement vanished and she clenched her jaw, ‘Before it was always that I though he saw Kikyou and now…. Can he not see me in the youkai? Does he not want to see?’

Kagome was so deeply engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't even register the scent that reached her nose until she slammed forcefully against a hard, definitely humanoid creature. The forward momentum sent her crashing back to the ground with a startled yelp, almost knocking the air from her lungs as she swore darkly over her own inattention. The shadowed figure fell back a few steps before catching its balance, and then turning startled eyes down to the source of the wholly unexpected, and from the look of amazement on its face, unbelievable strike.

She lifted her hand to her spinning head, shaking it once to clear it as she looked up... and up into the face of the creature she'd nearly run down. A snarl of frustration left her lips in pure reflex, "Oh this is just fucking PERFECT!"

**

Inuyasha sat up slowly, lifting a hand to his bruised cheek and gingerly pressing to check for broken bones for the second time in as many days. Distantly he reminded himself the he really did need to teach Kagome the more delicate points of controlling her youkai strength unless he wanted to spend a large portion of his time recovering.

But that thought was quickly overshadowed by the realization that now she wouldn't have to learn. The voice would return the next evening and remove the spell, and Kagome would once again only have the strength of a human miko.

Muttering absently to himself to cover his new flash of desolation, he winced over a particularly tender spot, "I never should have taught that bitch how to punch."

But then, why had she punched him?

Kagome hadn't even warned him! One second she wouldn't even look at him and the next she was punching him in the face and running back to camp? Did she think he'd known all along and just neglected to tell her? That would have made sense, except for her running away. If she'd thought that, wouldn't she have stayed and tried to hit him a few more times, or at the very least yelled at him?

His ears flattened back dejectedly as he rolled to his feet, turning to look nervously towards the path of her scent. Kagome still needed him to balance, otherwise he would have given into his urge to run blindly in an effort to smooth out some of his tension and sort out his thoughts. He closed his eyes and slowly drew in a deep breath to gather his courage before he let it out, 'Just enjoy the connection now... you won't have it much longer and you'll never get the chance to balance with her again. She won't... she won't need you anymore, and you'll be back to the fucking one-sided subduing.'

Inuyasha trudged back towards camp, his shoulders slumping as he cringed over the thought of what was sure to come. He could already picture Kagome’s face set in anger, practically hearing her voice cursing him and subduing with each shuffled step he took. What would she say, though? Would the youkai blood get the better of her and make her scream and insult him? Even worse…. would she cry?

He winced at the thought, shaking his head in an effort to banish the clear picture of Kagome with her eyes filled with the much-hated tears from his mind, but this one was much more stubborn than the others. “Dammit, Kagome, don’t be crying,” he growled to himself in an almost prayer. “I can handle the yelling, just don’t be…. I never wanted to make you cry,” he finished, sinking even deeper into his gloom.

It was laughable really, that he was so terrified of facing one little girl when he had been facing down with things most people only saw in nightmares since he was a child. He would rather be forced to fight everything Naraku had to offer than face off with Kagome when she was upset.

When the light from their small fire came into view, Inuyasha paused to collect his meandering thoughts and to brace himself against what he was sure would come. Several long, deep breaths later, he pushed aside the branches and stepped into the clearing with his eyes trained on the ground as he waited in silence for Kagome to confront him.

And waited….

‘Something should have happened by now,’ Inuyasha’s hands fisted at his sides and he tentatively cracked open one eye.

“GAH!” he took a reflexive leap backwards when he found Miroku and Sango standing less than a foot away from his face. Embarrassed, he tucked his hands into his sleeves, hunching his shoulders and averting his face to his flushed cheeks behind a thick curtain of hair, “What the hell is wrong with you two?”

“What did you do to Kagome-chan?” Sango demanded darkly, grabbing his ear and yanking hard to drag his head down.

“Ite!” Inuyasha tilted off balance for a moment before righting himself and growling at the woman. “She-“

“Kagome-sama was most upset,” Miroku interrupted, frowning in disapproval at the bristling hanyou. “What did you say to cause her to transform int-?”

Inuyasha’s head snapped up and he was on the monk in a flash, fisting his hands in his robes and lifting him up over his head to snarl out, “Transform?!”

His eyes widened as he dropped Miroku to the ground before the monk had a chance to reply, ignoring the outraged curse as he searched the clearing for Kagome’s presence. ‘How could I have not noticed she was gone? Why didn’t I feel it?!’ his nose twitched as he could the end of her “regular” scent in the center of the camp. A growl rose in his throat and his brows snapped down as he concentrated and picked up the way it had twisted, mixing into her “youkai” scent and leading into the woods.

Kagome was running.

His eyes began to gleam dangerously and every muscle in his body went taut; she was breaking her promise. Had she forgotten so soon the promise she’d made after Naraku had tricked her? She’d sworn she wouldn’t leave him, no matter what…..

“She changed in front of us and ran when we asked her what happened,” Sango was saying, following his line of sight with concern. “Inuyasha, what did you say to her?”

Inuyasha had already sunk into a semi-crouch, preparing to chase after her, “That stupid bitch! If she goes too far, she’ll stop balancing!”

Miroku had turned to restrain him when the growling hanyou suddenly fell backwards with a hiss, grabbing his haori over his heart. “Inuyasha!” his hands came up to brace his companion, eyes wide as he searched for the cause of his distress.

Inuyasha’s fingers clenched against the searing pain he’d felt streak across his chest, biting down on his lip to hold in a telling grunt, his heart began to race with the implications. His eyes went wide and his arms fell to his side as a sliver of apprehension raced through his blood.

HE wasn’t injured, but he felt the pain as clearly as though he had been hurt…. Kagome was missing, in her youkai form, and -by Sango and Miroku’s observations, upset. He knew first hand that Kagome was a long way from knowing how to keep those instincts under control, and his first instinct when he was overwhelmed was to run, ‘Run and….’ His ears twitched when a faint sound reached his sensitive ears, a sound like…. like some kind of crash, 'Oh hell!’

“Kagome…”

“Wait! Inuyasha!” Miroku yelled after the hanyou when he rather abruptly ripped away from them and raced off much in the same way Kagome had done previously. “Damn it!”

“C’mon, houshi-sama! Kirara!” Sango scooped Shippo up in on arm, hopping astride her transformed youkai and reaching for Miroku all in the space of a heartbeat. “If he ran off like that, Kagome-chan must be in danger.”

Miroku nodded grimly, his mind already filled with images of Kagome under Naraku’s control. And yet, none of them had sensed him nearby, “Hopefully we are not too late to help her this time.”

**

“What the hell are you doing so close by, hn?” Kagome growled out, slowly rising to her feet as she kept a wary glare on the unwelcome, but unmoving interruption. At the same time, she inhaled deeply, ears flicking forward as her senses instinctively reached out to memorize the smell and feel of him. Mildly surprised at the pleasant scent, she covered it by sliding back a step and baring her fangs, “What do you want, Sesshoumaru?”

THEN she caught wind of an odor that wrinkled her nose, like the reptile house at the zoo she’d visited once, and more what she’d expected. But it was coming from behind the youkai, growing stronger and making her sneeze a single time and try to shake it off in a motion much more doglike than human.

“Hn? A female inu youkai?” Jakken emerged from behind his master and peered at the strangely familiar girl standing off to the side of the path. He leaned forward and then back with a snort of disgust, covering his nose, “Eh! A female that reeks of that pathetic half-breed.”

Kagome turned freezing eyes down to the little toad youkai, sending him back several steps in surprise at how very similar it was to the flat glare he often received if Sesshoumaru was highly displeased with him. Unlike the much more indifferent creature, however, this youkai let out a deep growl and flexed her claws.

“If you speak of Inuyasha so disrespectfully again, I’ll rip out your tongue, you little freak,” Kagome hissed at him, momentarily distracted from Sesshoumaru’s presence by the heated aggression that had filled her when Jakken spoke. The banked emotions she’d been feeling in her run through the woods flared up again, and her expression changed to calculating. Maybe she could work out her annoyance on the annoying little youkai...

“You are the human bitch who travels with my foolish half brother,” Sesshoumaru broke the tense staring match between the girl and his retainer. He had felt the way the air around her thickened with aggression, and while it may be amusing to watch her beat on Jakken, he was much more concerned with his growing questions. His head tilted ever so slightly to one side as he studied the very obvious youkai features on the slight girl, and inhaled her scent much in the way she had done to him.

There was no mistaking, this WAS the girl who trailed after his idiot brother like a trained pup. But she had been human every other time he had encountered her, and at the moment, there was nothing remotely human about her. Her aura had grown to incredible strengths, the leashed power he’d sensed inside her before now radiated from her taut frame, but how had she changed so completely?

Against his will, he was curious.

“You are a youkai,” Sesshoumaru remarked with the same emotionless tone, yet there was an underlying challenge in the feel of his voice.

Kagome was instantly defensive, but her heart began to pound, “I am a youkai. No one can take that away from me.”

His brows rose faintly at the vehemence in her voice, and he turned to face her fully as Jakken waved his staff and shouted at her, “Sesshoumaru-sama is never wrong. You were that lowly human girl who removed the Tetsusaiga! You do not deserve the honorable blood of a youkai-”

Kagome snarled, darting forward before her mind was even aware she had moved as she caught the toad youkai’s staff and lifted him off the ground to growl in his face, “It is MY fucking blood!”

Sesshoumaru felt a traitorous tugging at the corner of his mouth when Kagome pulled back and flung his retainer through the air in a high arch back the way they had come. He was right, it had been most amusing. Hopefully he would have the presence of mind to steer Rin away from what would possibly become a nasty fight, “You are immature.” He remarked casually, “You lack control.”

The censure in his voice was embarrassing, making her feel like she was back in school and had been caught misbehaving by her teachers. She had no idea what prompted her response, but it was automatic, “I’m getting better.”

Sesshoumaru glanced at her, arching one brow in a mockery of her words a split second before he was on her. Kagome let out a shocked gasp as the clawed hand closed over her throat, lifting her off her feet as the youkai rushed them backwards, slamming her back against the trunk of a tree.

Her head cracked sharply against the rough bark as the wood shuddered beneath her and knocked the air from her lungs again. Hissing in agitation, her eyes began to glow as she blinked and focused on the cold face close to her own. She felt the blood seep from her nose as her anger rose, her hand lifting to curl around the striped wrist reflexively.

His gaze, however, was riveted to the blood trailing down her face, frowning slightly as he reached up with his borrowed arm to touch a fingertip to the blood and examine it more closely. That line of blood smelled human...

Kagome growled violently, her aura flaring in response to the power in Sesshoumaru’s own and forcefully pulling it into herself to boost her strength enough to get him off her. His eyes widened in surprise when the air around her seemed to thicken, and the strength in her grip increased sharply as she ripped his hand away from her neck. Kagome threw his hand away from her and let out an incoherent shout, her eyes glowing brightly as she blasted the youkai backwards with her magic.

Sesshoumaru slowed his backwards momentum, hovering to a halt and lowering his feet to the ground with his trademark grace. His eyes narrowed as he studied the girl yet again, confused by the way she seemed to pulse with his own energy. Just how much had this human changed?

“You were transformed into more than any other youkai,” he accused in a low voice, lifting a hand in front of his to will his poison to flow into his claws.

“I am a miko first, Sesshoumaru,” Kagome’s eyes narrowed, smirking at the rush of power filling her veins. ‘This is…. so much different than pulling off Inuyasha! Sesshoumaru doesn’t even look like he noticed what I drew off him. Is he really that strong that he has so much to spare?’

“You are my brother’s mate,” Sesshoumaru’s eyes gleamed. “You think you are strong enough for my father’s bloodlines? You're just as delusional as Inuyasha.”

Her instincts were whispering to her this time, her heart beating faster and her blood heating as it urged her to attack. All those emotions, all the confusion and hurt were begging to be transferred into anger and used to fight Sesshoumaru. She had the most insane urge to attack him for speaking to her in such a condescending tone, for suggesting she was too weak to be Inuyasha’s mate.

“You won’t be able to kill me, youkai,” her voice deepened with a renewed growl, reaching out with her aura to connect first with the familiar feel of Inuyasha at the edge of her spirit range. She was well aware that she had no idea how to fight, instead trusting his instincts to take over and direct her. All she needed was to block enough from him so he had no idea what she was about to do, and considering how far away he was, it shouldn’t been too difficult.

“He was produced from weak blood, and he’s only bringing weaker blood into our family lines,” Sesshoumaru’s eyes had narrowed with disapproval. “Now he has mated a human who thinks she is worthy to be a youkai.”

Her fists clenched, claws digging deep into her palms, “I….am not weak….”

His claws flexed, “Prove it to this Sesshoumaru.”

Kagome's eyes narrowed, taking a deep breath as she straightened her posture defiantly. Her lips curled back off her fangs in a feral snarl as he launched forward in a blur of motion. ‘Just once,’ her mind whispered, keeping her still in the face of his rush. ‘If Sesshoumaru touches me once, I can pull off of his aura and absorb his attacks,’ she braced herself as he swung his claws.

Sesshoumaru’s claws connected at her shoulder, raking diagonally down across her torso and slamming her back against the tree he’d just held her pinned against. Already weakened from the last attack, the wood groaned and cracked, toppling backwards with a crash that shook the ground.

Kagome hit the ground hard at Sesshoumaru’s feet, biting down on her lip with a snarl of pain and her arms automatically wrapped around her burning torso. ‘Sesshoumaru’s poison….’ she forced her tearing eyes to open, focusing all her energy inwards to follow the sluggish pain beneath the more intense feeling of the torn flesh. Her fisted hands opened slowly to press flat to her bleeding chest, pupils fading as she fought to absorb it the same way she had the other youkai magic.

Sesshoumaru flicked the excess blood from his claws, looking down at her coldly, and wondering at the odd sense of disappointment humming through him. He had hoped for so much more of a fight, and the quick defeat had left his instincts feeling cheated, “Weak.”

Kagome felt, more than saw the taller youkai turning away from her, walking away with indifference as she writhed on the ground. Her heart gave a heavy pulse, echoing the sensation through her aura once and then again as the stubborn youkai energy finally smoothed and bonded to her own. The burning faded almost immediately, bringing with it a easy sweep of strength as she pulled his youki into her.

A low, cold chuckle made Sesshoumaru pause in mild surprise.

He looked back over his shoulder at the girl on the ground, frowning when she pressed bloody palms flat against the ground and levered herself upwards into a crouch. His brows rose when her face tilted upward, glowing eyes opening to meet his as she flashed him a cold, mocking smirk.

“If that’s the best you can do, youkai, then you’re in trouble,” Kagome chuckled with confident arrogance, rising gracefully to her feet as she reached inward to examine just what powers she would have access to.

Sesshoumaru turned back, brows lowered when he felt a strange ripple slide through him, followed with the most bizarre draining sensation, almost as though his energy was being sucked away. More importantly, and definitely more confusing, he could no longer smell his poison in her, ‘My poison has never been purified…. How?’

“How did you do such a thing?” he demanded, his eyes moving over her as aura flared even stronger than before.

Kagome’s eyes had narrowed and she held out her hand, looking at it curiously as she connected with him enough to absently summon his poison into her own claws, “Inuyasha will not accept me as a youkai, my own mate…. And now you, Sesshoumaru, accuse me of being too weak to even call him that.”

Sesshoumaru watched her, his bland expression fully restored as he pondered what could have changed the weak human girl into such a youkai, a full-blooded youkai that apparantly was copying his poison claw. And Inuyasha could not accept her as such? No doubt his half-brother was jealous that this human bitch had attained what he had been striving to attain for so long. Perhaps she would be even more suitable for carrying on their father’s bloodline than he’d thought.

“I have challenged you to prove otherwise, little hu- youkai,” he was more than a little annoyed with himself for making such an error, but forced that thought down in favor of the much more interesting prospect of fighting against his brother’s transformed mate.

Kagome closed her eyes and took a deep breath, rolling her shoulders as the burn across her chest eased with her accelerated youkai healing. She cracked her knuckles and flashed him a fanged grin that put him disturbingly in mind of his half-brother. Her voice was cold and almost insulting as she growled out, “Let’s go, onii-sama.”


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