Sunday, December 18, 2005

   Chapter 62: Under The Black Moon...
‘Oh gods, I didn’t…’

‘Had I known it would take such an abysmally long period of time for Inuyasha’s soul to ease his barriers around you, Kagome-chan, I would have elected to bring you the same night I brought that idiot hanyou to me.’

‘I fell asleep,’ Kagome muttered in disbelief, covering her eyes with a hand and fighting the urge to smack herself in the head. ‘How in the hell did I fall asleep? The sun just went down!’

‘I was forced to wait for the moment Inuyasha’s waning blood began to transfer into you before I was able to connect with your soul and bring you to me.’

She frowned, pulling her hand away from her face to look around in confusion. The voice was close this time, much stronger than it had been in the past, and while that wasn’t overly surprising, this time she could tell it belonged to a man. Not Onigumo, but still… familiar… ‘Who are you?’

‘That is not of any importance at the moment,’ he scolded, just the barest hint of affection leaking into the low tones.

‘Is it too much to ask that just once the lot of you let me decide that?’ Kagome sat down, folding her arms over her chest in frustration. ‘I am getting pretty damn tired of hearing that excuse.’

‘I ask that you only be patient a while longer, little miko.’

‘I’ll bet,’ she snorted, muttering under her breath before lifting her head and trying to track this new voice in the indistinct gray haze of the dreamscape. ‘What do you want now? And what do you mean you had to wait? I've slept... almost regularly lately.’

'You have been asleep often enough, however, each time any effort was made to draw in your soul, Inuyasha's aura attacked. Mostly violently too,' he sighed in irritation. 'We believe it has to do with the measures he has taken to hold you to him, in addition to your present state. He wants nothing getting close to you.'

Kagome propped her chin up in her upraised hand and frowned, 'The measures he took? You mean this thing on my neck?'

‘I feel no need to hide how shocked I am that Inuyasha recalled the binding spell he used on you. Not only is it remarkably old, but the only time it was ever demonstrated to him, he was a very young pup.’

Kagome’s hand lifted to her throat self-consciously, and she couldn’t prevent the faint growl in her voice when she responded, ‘What does this thing have to do with you bringing me here? Wait…’ her eyes darkened with sudden understanding as a thought occurred to her. ‘It was you…’

‘What was?’

Kagome rose to her feet, turning to scowl in the voice’s last direction, ‘You’re the one; the one who told Inuyasha you could disconnect us. The owner of the spell… You’re the one who told him you could turn me back into a human and reverse everything.’

‘I am, and I did.’

Her hands clenched into fists at her sides and she tried to fight back the rush of anger that went through her, ‘You bastard. Did it ever occur to you that I might prefer things this way? Or is the state of my own body and soul something else that “is not important at the moment,” hn?’

There was a rather exasperated sigh from behind her right before one of the bizarre disembodied hands she’d become accustomed to in these dreamscapes came down on her shoulder and firmly returned her to a sitting position. ‘Kagome-chan, the more important question is not whether or not it occurred to me that you may prefer life as a youkai. That answer I have always known. The question is whether or not it ever occurred to Inuyasha.’

Her anger subsided slightly under a sudden rise of confusion, ‘What?’

‘Did your hanyou ever stop to think on just how remarkable your transformation truly was?’ he clarified. ‘Or did he take it for granted?’

Kagome shook her head, looking up and stiffening when she saw the faintest glow of white eyes above her, her indignant tone changing to a more uncertain stammer, ‘I… I don’t understand… what you’re asking…’

‘In all of my dealings with Inuyasha, he has shown a rather remarkable talent for ignoring anything that does not immediately involve him,’ he snorted in mild disgust. ‘He is not overly concerned with the "how" of circumstances turning in his favor so long as the are proven to undeniably be in his favor. I believe his first reaction to his ability to subdue you is a perfect example. If I am not mistaken, he did not care how he was able to do so.’

‘Just that he could,’ Kagome looked away from those disturbingly piercing eyes as she murmured distractedly in answer to the unspoken demand for verification.

‘Precisely. Inuyasha is still young and like any youth, he does not always take the time to think through a situation. He was aware only that you had changed into a youkai, freeing him from concerns he would have been forced to face when you mated him had you remained human. I doubt he even realizes that is the reason a large part of his insecurities where you are concerned have disappeared.’

‘I’m still not quite understanding… What does that have to do with disconnecting us?’ she pressed her hands to the sides of her aching head. ‘The first voices told me that it would have killed me to try and change me back and you told Inuyasha that it could be done?’

‘Attempting to revert you to a human state would indeed have killed you, Kagome-chan.’

Kagome went still and very slowly sat up straight, her brow furrowing in confusion and more than a little dawning suspicion, ‘It would have killed me?’

‘There is very little human blood left inside your body, and despite what I told Inuyasha, it would be impossible to find a way to replace that even if another human was used to transfuse you. Especially since what human blood is left has been repeatedly filtered through the youkai blood and bonded together to protect it. Your body has held youkai blood within it for an extended period of time, twisting it with your magic to make it your own, and your body has changed to accommodate it.’

‘Then you… you lied!’ she jerked away from the restraining hand to hiss out accusingly, shooting to her feet in alarm. ‘You lied to Inuyasha! You never intended to disconnect us at all!’

‘That is an accurate statement,’ she could hear the shrug in his voice.

Kagome gaped, for a long moment her mouth working soundlessly to vocalize the sudden chaotic jumble her thoughts had become. Finally, she put a hand to her head, feeling dizzy and managed to murmur a shocked, “Why?!”

‘I took advantage of the chance to finally settle my own guilt and curiosity in the matter of your transformation.’

‘Your…guilt…?’ Kagome repeated numbly, sitting rather abruptly when her knees simply refused to support her any longer.

‘I have never been certain if you would have chosen a different path for yourself if given the chance, Kagome-chan. I was also never aware of what circumstances led up to your alteration, not in the ways that I am now. I have never understood how the mind of a miko youkai works.’

Kagome was again staring up at the “eyes” watching her with unblinking intensity, her hands shaking as she lowered them to her lap, ‘Given the chance? You lied to Inuyasha just to see if I would have tried to become human again?’

‘You were changed by the unexpected error of two amateur casters,’ he explained, eyes narrowing slightly in remembered exasperation. ‘Part of the blame, however, is mine, as the spell does indeed belong to me, and my inattention regarding its use in inexcusable.’

Kagome was starting to wonder if it was possible to faint when one was dreaming, trying again for some better clarification, ‘You just decided to say that you could reverse the spell to see what we would do?’

'I lied to see what Inuyasha's reaction would be,' he admitted calmly. 'I have no doubts that if circumstances were reversed, you would have cared for that hanyou regardless of the form he selected. However, I was never certain if he would have been selfless enough to give you the same courtesy once you had been youkai for him.'

'You thought he wouldn't tell me about disconnecting,' Kagome's brows drew together in anger on Inuyasha's behalf. 'He may be a bit selfish most of the time, but he would never do such a thing!'

'I do not have the faith in his integrity where you are concerned that you do,' the hand was back on her shoulder, strangely calming when she wanted nothing more than to snarl and attack the faceless man defaming her mate. 'Inuyasha has proven time and again that he will go to great lengths to keep you beside him, and I regret to say that I do not completely understand every intricacy of this spell. There may have been a possibility for you to be restored due to your association with the Shikon-no-Tama, but if that is so, the time has long since passed.'

Her mouth worked soundlessly before she managed, 'Do... do you know when?'

There was a moment of silence before the voice came almost mockingly at her ear, 'I thought you liked yourself better this way.'

Kagome felt the blood rush to her cheeks at the taunt, hissing out, 'I DO! But I can't help but be curious if you know when I was too changed to go back!'

There was a low chuckle before she sensed the presence lower itself behind her, 'You told me once... a long, long time ago that you once woke in a great deal of pain. You told me it came from the mark.'

She jumped when she felt the hand graze her side, clamping her hand down over the tattoo, 'I told you?!'

'Did this or did this not happen?'

'Well, yes... I did wake up like that once-'

'The blood changed hue, correct?'

'Hai-'

'That was when Inuyasha's blood settled itself inside you too deeply to be removed.'

Her eyes widened, 'Then? That long ago?'

'I told Inuyasha that I had never seen blood as possessive as his,' the hand was on her shoulder, comforting her again and soothing her control over her emotions. 'The hanyou was using that ridiculous word spell so frequently that his blood awakened within you before those two idiots suspected. They believed they teased your instincts into letting them into your soul, when it was his instincts reflected through you. That was why it was so easy for them to encourage that rage, yet infinitely more dangerous when it broke free.'

Kagome shook her head, her eyes unfocused as she tried to process the information she'd wanted from the start, finally being revealed so long after it had already occurred, 'Inuyasha was already inside me.'

'His instincts were newly awakened, and once they became aware of their surroundings, they became violent. Especially when they sensed you were not claimed and there was another male presence inside your mind.'

She winced, then gasped and reached up to feel her head when she felt the unmistakable feeling of ears flattening back, 'Damn... We did swap again...'

The voice was chuckling quietly, but continued with his explanation when she made a sound of impatient encouragement, 'When the "voices" encouraged you to give in to your instincts, they actually talked you through reaching inside yourself and breaking the seal that held Inuyasha's blood separate from your own. Inuyasha was already angry at seeing you attacked and his instincts are more... passionate about fighting with everything at their disposal. His blood worked through you and awoke the power it felt in your soul.'

Kagome tried to turn back to look at "him" only to have two hands gently but firmly keep her facing away. She wrinkled her nose and huffed in annoyance, but obediently stayed put, 'That's why my miko magic started working better than it has before.'

'Indeed. But to accomplish its proficient use, he matured your blood over a hundred years in a matter of mere weeks, Kagome-chan. It's no wonder you were rather... unbalanced while the rest of you attempted to catch up and adjust to the necessary acceleration.'

'A... a hundred years?!'

'I believe, at this point in time, your kit is as old as you were in human years.'

'Shippou-chan?!' she gaped in amazement, her mind having a hard time adjusting to hearing the kit she had by all rights adopted was the same age as she was.

'Youkai age just a little differently than humans do, and Inuyasha's blood is strong enough that he ages as a youkai. It is not always such for hanyou children,' he added, forestalling her next question before he could ask.

She wrinkled her nose, 'He's old enough to be my grandfather, isn't he?'

This time the laughter was quick to come and openly amused, 'In time you will learn that youkai view aging differently as well. It does not have the constriction that humans place on it in their shortened life spans.'

'Considering he asks like a junior high student himself most of the time... or at least he used to.'

'That was not nearly as entertaining an insult until humans made their schools and I was able to make the comparison for myself.'

Kagome blinked, frowning again as her curiosity peaked, 'Who are you?'

'I have not answered that question, nor do I intend to,' he scolded. 'Asking it repeatedly only takes more time than we are able to spare.'

The frown changed to one of confusion, 'What do you mean? None of the other voices were ever concerned with time limits.'

'The path that was opened to your soul is healing closed every time Inuyasha's blood makes a full exchange with your own,' the disembodied hand moved out in front of her face to gesture around the dreamscape. 'Now that his soul is aware of what is causing your distress and distortion, it is taking the time inside you to force it closed. You would not notice, but already the space has decreased considerably. By the next new moon, the path will have healed completely.'

'It... it will?' Kagome lifted a hand absently to her heart.

'Aa.'

'What... will that do?' she chewed on her lip nervously, fidgeting as she waited for the answer.

'You enjoy that talent for sucking the youki out of those around you a bit too much,' a deep sigh, and then he reluctantly admitted. 'Unfortunately, that seems to be one of the side effects of the spell's distortion. Closing the path will decrease the wildness of that talent; help to prevent that obnoxious propensity for completely losing yourself to basic instincts of your chosen opponent, however, the ability will still be present in your soul to a degree.'

'Where were you in the beginning when I needed to hear all this?' Kagome sighed wearily, rubbing her eyes against the ache started just behind her temples. 'You could have made everything so much easier.'

'I was completely unaware that my spell had been stolen, Kagome-chan,' he responded with just the faintest hint of apology in that low, smooth tone. 'Had those fools come directly to me, we may have been able to stop some of that distortion if not all of it. Then again, perhaps not, Fate has already played its hand after all.'

Kagome made a slight sound of frustrated impatience, tucking her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, 'Are you always this infuriating?'

'I have had numerous centuries to perfect my skills.'

That dry comment was almost enough to bring a smile to her lips, 'Was it so important? To cause this mess with Inuyasha thinking he had to disconnect us? Was it worth the problems that you caused just by suggesting it was possible to change me back?'

'I had an opportunity to be certain of his devotion, and that is more important than a minor inconvenience to both of you. Otherwise neither of you would have been aware that Inuyasha was willing to set you free if you so desired.'

'If it was ever really an option.'

'That too,' he acknowledged. 'But would you have rather been plagued with the doubt for the rest of your existence? I lied as much for your protection and peace of mind as for my own curiosity. I put an end to the question before it ever had a chance to possibly become an issue between you.'

'At least you aren't pretending it was purely altruistic,' she muttered, resting her chin on her hands.

'It is rare that I speak anything less that truth, and if I do lie, it always has purpose. Remember that.'

Kagome snorted, 'I highly doubt that I'm going to be forgetting weird youkai men taking me to in-between realms to lecture me.'

'It is comforting to hear that your mind suffered no permanent damage at being born human,' he didn't even bother to disguise the amusement in his voice this time.

'You're enjoying this far too much for my peace of mind,' she bristled as she felt the blush rise in her cheeks.

'I am feeling remarkably well with the outcome of my deception,' a hand stroked down her hair, again soothing her ruffled instincts. 'Your hanyou is worried since you don't wake, however, you may wish to inform him that you be experiencing more lethargic periods given your condition and the closing of the spell.'

'My condition? Inuyasha was hovering and telling me what I could eat... I really am sick?' she looked faintly worried at the possibility.

'You will recover with ease, I believe; there is no reason for you to be concerned, and I have said all I intend to say at this time.'

'And of course, you're the one making the rules,' Kagome rolled her eyes, completely and totally frustrated at that vague answer.

'Your capacity for understanding a situation is the main reason I prefer to deal with you over Inuyasha at your current ages,' there was a faint smile in the voice, taunting her blatant sarcasm.

'Remind me to kick you in the shin when I figure out who you are,' she muttered, folding her arms over her chest.

'Luckily, Kagome-chan, your hanyou is aware of the need to curb your untrained blood's propensity for violence. The next time we meet, I expect you to have this urge more or less under control.'

'I'm cursed, aren't I?' she wearily rubbed her hand over her eyes. 'My entire life is going to be filled with arrogant youkai men who all think they know what's better for me than I do.'

'If it will settle your mind, you will love us soon enough.'

'That's not encouraging.'

'You will feel differently.'

'Neither is that.'

The voice chuckled quietly at the almost pout in her tone, again sliding one of the disembodied hands through her hair, 'You are in good hands, Kagome-chan, trust in your "family" here where you belong.'

She wrinkled her nose in annoyance, but rather than pull away, she simply resumed her position with her knees drawn to her chest and her chin resting on her folded arms. Her thoughts were starting to turn sluggish, and that was giving her a pretty good idea that her "time-limit" with this voice had just about expired, 'I have this horrible sense that the moment I wake up, I'm going to think of a hundred other things that I should have asked you.'

'The only areas you need to be concerned with have been addressed,' the voice sounded just casual enough to make her grind her teeth together against a frustrated retort. 'Any other answers will come to you with time, provided you do not kill your hanyou before he comes into his own and grows up.'

Kagome felt her cheeks heat slightly at the amusement and mild censure in his voice, 'I would never hurt him intentionally.'

'Indeed.'

Her cheeks darkened more and she ducked her head guiltily, 'Not seriously anyway.'

There was yet another low chuckle from behind her and she went perfectly still when she felt him lean forward, brushing a light kiss to her cheek, 'I have every confidence that you will be exactly what your hanyou needs.'

***

Kagome came awake with a start, clenching her eyes shut with a startle yelp when the sudden brightness assaulted her and burrowing into the warmth at her back, "I am going to start banging my head against the wall if I wake up like that one more time."

When the pressure around her tightened, her mind actually connected that solid warmth with its owner just before Inuyasha's concerned voice penetrated her slight daze, "Kagome, are you all right?"

"The sun set and you just...well, dropped!" Shippou tugged urgently at her arm before clambering up into her lap and squeezing into between their bodies to snuggle against her stomach.

Kagome was absently stroking the little kit's head even as she started to slowly open her eyes and growl out, "Irritating, goddamn, pompous bastard."

Sango blinked while the confused concern on Miroku's face melted into one of understanding, "Ah, you had a 'visit,' did you not, Kagome-sama?"

Inuyasha tensed when Kagome grunted and started to lift herself of him slightly, "The fucking voice? Which one was it? What the hell did it say to you?!"

Kagome winced slightly, feeling her ears immediately flatten in protest to the agitated demands, "Mou, not so loud! I don't get it... the only time I ever feel like I'm going deaf is when you spill over into me."

"My ears are better," he shrugged absently, not wanting to get into a long, drawn-out discussion over something trivial when he had much more burning questions he needed answered. He should have known it was too good to hope that bastard youkai would leave Kagome out of it when he'd taken such delight telling Inuyasha he would bring her by force. His only consolation was the time-limit the youkai had put on being able to disconnect them was long since past, and Kagome had more than adequately assured him of her desire to keep the spells the same.

She finally felt safe to open her eyes, glaring at him for the casual arrogance in that remark when her retort died on a wave of curiosity, "The hell-?!"

Inuyasha's frustrated anger was momentarily curbed, lips twitching in amusement, "I forgot how easily you swear when you're me."

Kagome just shook her head, twisting around to straddle his hips and grabbing onto his face to twist it from side to side. She frowned at the pointed ears before looking back at the azure eyes that had first caught her attention, "You don't look human... Why don't you look human, Inuyasha?"

He made a noise of impatience and thunked her on the head before grabbing a handful of her hair and dragging it up for her to see the drastically lightened strands, "Baka. We swapped again, but this time it swapped all the way. Or at least most of the way."

She shrieked and nearly went toppling over backwards, saved only by Inuyasha grabbing onto his waist as her hands flew to her head, "My hair!!"

"Dammit, bitch, be careful!" he snarled at her.

"My hair's white, Inuyasha, this didn't happen last time!" Kagome let go of her own hair and grabbed onto his, yanking him forward.

"Oi-!"

"Fix it!"

Inuyasha blinked and then gave her a dry look, "While it is rather flattering to know that you think so highly of my skills, koi, I don't have control of the moon just yet."

Kagome leaned back, suddenly realizing just how idiotic that last demand had sounded and turning bright scarlet. She averted her face and folded her arms, growling when she heard the attempts to muffle snickering from her friends and the kit in her lap, "I hate you sometimes."

He started to chuckle as well, sliding his hands up through her hair in a soothing motion, "I'm aware of that."

She muttered a few choice words under her breath before getting her embarrassment under control and snuck a glance back at him, "I… don't look weird?"

Inuyasha made a show of giving her a thorough once over, sliding one hand out of her hair to cup her cheek and give her a kiss on the forehead, "You don't look weird." Although he was suddenly hoping at least one of his pups was going to be female, delighted at the thought of having such a perfect mix of himself and Kagome instead of just his blood echoed through her. Then again, he tilted his head when she gave him a dazzling smile, I'm not sure I could handle that... Too many youkai would chase her.

Kagome glared at Miroku when he opened his mouth, some ingrained feminine instinct warning her that whatever he was about to say wasn’t going to be as innocent as his expression, “Don’t even think it, bouzu.”

Miroku’s brows shot up and he blinked several times at just how very “Inuyasha” that response had been before murmuring, “Was the transformation more complete this time?”

Inuyasha’s lips were twitching suspiciously while Kagome gasped and clamped her hand over her mouth in surprise. He nuzzled his face against the side of her neck, smirking when her cheeks heated, “Bouzu, hn?”

The casual action had Sango leaning forward from her kneeling position and murmuring her absent observation, “It must have… Inuyasha’s being even more openly affectionate than he’s ever been.”

Miroku sat back and sighed with only slightly exaggerated envy, yet again observing, “Fate is indeed cruel.”


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