Monday, October 3, 2005

   READ THIS. Tell me what you think.
It's a short short story. A bit I needed to get out. Hope you enjoy.


She stood there, watching him. He told himself not to cry, he mustn’t cry. She’d only laugh at him. This girl would be the first to laugh at him. But the tears came. They flowed down his face in steady streams, hot salt tears. He covered his face with a hand, hoping she hadn’t noticed, growing angry with himself. Then the sobs took him. Raking, strained sobs. Sobs that he was desperately trying to hold in.
He stood there blinded with a hand over his eyes and tears blurring his vision. He felt a hand on his left shoulder, then another pulling his hand from his face. He only saw an idea of a face. Through the water it looked like it was smiling. He knew she would laugh now. But she did not. She reached her arms out and wrapped them around his neck and shoulders and pulled him into an embrace.
“S-s-sorry…” he could hear himself stutter out. She only tightened her grip on him, making him put his head on her shoulder. And everything let go. The strained sods turned into shameless bursts. This kind of crying one only did curled on their bed in an empty house so as no one could hear them. His hands grasped her shirt, clinging like a child to his mother.
And so he cried. He cried into her shoulder, her hair, into her soft neck. At one point he felt her hand gently stroke the back of his neck, running her fingers through his hair. This only made him sob more. Everything came, his life, his fears, his hates, everything. His memories each floated before him and then made way for the next. The hallways, the old big house he lived in as a child. The smell and the fear that came with it. The lose of everyone he knew he could possible love gone before he could decide if he did. The company of death that never seemed to touch him. Why didn’t Death just take him? Why play with him like this? Just take him already!!
All of this he had thought on before, but held it in with a firm jaw and a stone face. No one heard his sorrow, his pain and helplessness. All was lost inside him. This time all those years of composer had turned into a volcano, with the explosions the coughs and bursts in his chest. The lava was the hot tears that stung his eyes and burned his cheeks.
After a time all the memory and thought exhausted itself and he had less to cry about. He calmed to a weep and began to breath more regularly. She still was there; she had never pulled away. He could feel her heart beat through both their chests. It was slower than his own and it calmed him more. Finally she pulled her head back and moved her face toward his so their foreheads were touching. They breathed each other’s breath for a moment. His arms were around her middle and her arms were around his shoulders.
Then she began to wipe his face with her fingers. Once her hands got too wet, she pulled her long sleeves over her palms and used them. She was so gentle. He tried to say something, but choked. He thought he was going to start up again. She put her salty wet fingers on his lips, “Shhh. You’re done. There is no more, is there?” He shook his head no, and her head rolled with his as he did. He stopped. He could see her eyelashes and her nose and her mouth. He could smell her breath and her skin, neither of which smelled bad. Her lips were curled into and small smile. He felt his do the same.
Then he felt something grab his heart and he was immediately ashamed. No one should have seen him do that. He tried to pull away. He couldn’t look her in the face. She wouldn’t let go. Her arms remained firm around his shoulders. He looked into her face, questioningly. She stared back with the biggest eyes. “No, it’s alright. You don’t have to be embarrassed.” The shame melted then, along with his pride. He pulled her to him, and they both shared a fierce hug. It felt good to hold her.
She pulled back a little and put her hand against his cheek. She just looked at him. For a moment he thought she was going to kiss him. Then something flickered across her face, in her eyes, and was gone in the same instant. She had gone with it. She let her hand drop and stepped back. He had gotten so used to her body heat that he was suddenly cold. She smiled, but her eyes didn’t. Then, without a word, she turned and walked down the hall and around the corner. He had tried to say thanks or tell her to wait, to just say something, but his voice was hoarse and wouldn’t cooperate. He could only watch her go.
She walked away and didn’t hear him say a word, as if nothing had happened.

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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

   What???
Ren Fest next weekend?? It snuck up on me! Now I have a massive amount of work to do that will see no fruit except maybe to make me look hot to people I really don't know. Not much purpose there. But maybe I'll get a group together and go.
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Saturday, September 24, 2005

   Well......
So... not too bad. The storm moved at the last minute and we got the glancing blow. Yay for my house still standing!

Thanks those of you who prayed. It helped!
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Friday, September 23, 2005

   Rita Strikes!
So me and the Family are bunkering down in our house. I'm soo tired of listening to the news. All of it is hyped up and so damn DRAMATIC! I know crap can happen. I know we might be unlucky and one of us get hurt. I know our house might get damaged. I know I don't have the promise of tommorrow.

But for Pete's sake! Let me live my last day with normal blood pressure! I didn't sleep last night, and I know I won't tonight. Then we have to pick up the pieces after that, so Rachel will be an exausted Rachel by Monday. Heh. And UH still hasn't cancelled school for Mon. Only until Sun. Niiice.

I'll post after the storm to let yall know if I'm still alive. (Like anyone checks this anyways.) Just know to pray guys. Thanks.
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

   this is gonna be fun!
So yes. Look where I put my location.

Yep. Right in the path of Rita. I live in a suburb of Houston, TX and the projections show that the friggn' thing will head straight for my house. So yes. I am dead. Unless we leave our house and I dunno if that can happen due to the impossible amounts of traffic already on the road.

So it was nice knowing you. Can anyone who prays, can you do that? I'd like to still have a house when this is over and maybe a family.

Thanks for your prayers.
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Sunday, September 11, 2005

   i'm going insane

I will die a crazy woman. Know how? Writing plays.

My new found inspiration seems to come from a lack of sleep. My eyes/brain blur and all the sudden every idea sounds like a good 'un.

I'm losing my mind, one play at a time.
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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

   balrg
School sucks. Oh, and I rented Abanabashi Magical Shopping Arcade and realized that Arami is done in English by a classmate of mine. Jessica Boone. I've seen he name in quiet a few credits. I need to ask her how she got in, but she already said once how she hates it when people ask her to get them a part... But I'm not asking for a part, I'm just asking who to call and see when they are having open auditions. Is that so wrong?
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Wednesday, August 3, 2005

   Me is the happy

Totally quit my job. I squeal with glee. EEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeee!!!!!111!!!!111one Only two more shifts left and I'm a free + broke chick!

Guys, feel free to call me for the dates. If you are afraid that I have no nose and weigh 300 lbs, rest assured, I'm totally hot. Take my word for it. I cook and stuff too!
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Thursday, July 7, 2005

   Taletz 'n skillz!

Okay, so lil known fact is that ADV, one very big anime dubbing/ distributer company is located in Houston. So, as an actor, I'm thinking of auditioning as a voice actor for anime.

I'm just a lot scared I might mess up and embarass myself.

Tips anyone?

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Wednesday, July 6, 2005

   Geeeze

This is the longest book to read.

Glory Season by David Brin.

And feminist who's worth anything needs to read it. Plus all the other girls. And then the females everyone doesn't want to call a girl for fear of being wrong.

It's one of those "what if" society books posing a new order if things were not as they are now. But this one's good. It rankes up there with 1984 and A Handmaiden's Tale. (The later also needs to be read by every female alive.)

Seriously guys, somebody read this puppy so I can discuss it with you. My aim stuff is up top.

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