Friday, July 1, 2005

   heh

I really like that little devil smily.

Well... I officially forgot what I was going to say. Hmmm.


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Thursday, June 30, 2005

...
I want so badly to do well. Everything my hands touch turn to dust. Always unfinished. Hundreds of businesses, school plans, chores, personal creative projects, relationships lay in tatters. Either I shread them apart myself, or neglect and time wore them away. I want to finish one thing and have it mean something. I want to write a play worth a damn. I want to be part of a show that allows me to help, not just ask, "do you need anything?" 400 times. I live by what I do creativly. I LIVE BY WHAT I DO CREATIVELY. This is my purpose, I will always be certain this is my purpose. At this moment in time I have done nothing. I have finished nothing.

My biggest worry is that this will always be the score. My peers- no, my role models are the people who's opinions matter most.

I continue to be invisible to them.

I want to earn respect and acknowledgement. That's all. Just a nod.

But, of course, I need to actually DO somthing worth nodding to.


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Monday, June 13, 2005

Okay, thus sucks
I going to destroy this court system one day.

Really I am.
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Sunday, June 5, 2005

   I am DONE
I am done with a very looong work week. 45 friggin' hours. Man. I'm beat. AND I must go to defensive driving early tomorrow because I am stupid. Sooooo tired. Summer is supposed to be restful...
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Sunday, May 29, 2005

   Man...
Working alone on a satrday night gives me the lonliest feeling in the world. I got into such a bad mood sitting alone with no customers in a cold sterile store I didn't want to be in. I just wanted to curl up on the floor and cry.

Am I being a bit psycho? Or just stupidly depressed?
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Sunday, May 22, 2005

   I saw Star Wars.
I would say "nuff said," but truly: Is it ever enough?

My brother: ChocoTuar, has rated his favorite episodes and also given an alright review, seeing as he is the math/ computer student and I am the creative writing one. If you know anything about video games, you might get it.

What can be said for Episode III is this: It made me want to watch the original movies again. That says alot. The first two only made me want to cry and complain and just say that the other movies were better and stuff. But this one makes me excited about these people again. This story doesn't suck anymore.

I admit, I was on the verge of being bored when General Grevus pulled out his lightsabers and Obiwan Kanobi was about to begin ANOTHER duel. After six movies, duels seem a bit overdone. And I must say that Hayden Christensen, though hot-ish, makes a good Anikin Skywalker does not. (Neither did that kid who stared in the first episode. Jake Lloyd was it? Yeah, that brat.) I listened to his whiney, teenager-ish, immature, wussy voice the entire movie, AND THEN, at the end, I heard the voice we as children only heard in our nightmares: Darth Vader. James Earl Jones. The god of all voice acting. Hearing his sound COMMANDS attention from the core of your being. And this was the guy who cried like a 6-year-old girl when he was told he couldn't be a Jedi Master? No, I will not accept it.

Of course you are reading this from a girl who in 8th grade English class was asked "Who is your favorite character?" and I answered "Darth Vader." The response from my teacher being a short, disturbed pause just before, "No, Rachel, I mean from the book we just read." I suppose I'm just a lil' biased viewing the being who can hold the power of James Earl Jones' voice at his fingertips a REAL MAN, while I hold Hayden in the respect I hold a cute guy on the street.

Girls, this movie proves true a point you all need to learn: For males, being cute and being a man are two very different things. If you are confused by what I mean, look above to the quote I wrote for my intro.

Rach out.
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

   Green Apple gum leaves a bad after taste.
Work is officially starting to suck. There is this Nigerian guy who is the worst employee I've ever seen. He can't take orders, he can't make drinks, he can't even fill a shift for someone else because he gets offended someone can even have the gall to ASK. Customer complain about him in particular. He's even had a few instances where another employee and I (she was a girl) got harassed by him about different things. Aparently, he follows strict Muslim Code on how shitty to treat women.

The worst thing about this ass is my boss refuses to fire him. I think my boss is afraid this guy will get mad and say he was fired because he's black. But, you see, a claim from the EEOC on his behalf is completly unjustified. Every girl at work can file a sexual harassment on him. Who do you think the EEOC will want to back? One jack ass or FOUR justly angry young women.

I think if this goes on I'll have to quit. I don't want to quit. But I think the only thing that will get my boss's attention is to lose one of his best employees because he doesn't have the balls to get rid of a crappy one.
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Friday, May 13, 2005

La da dee.
School is done for me! Horray!

I dunno what it is, but at work I feel like an indentured servant. I know the family of the owner of the coffee shop I work at. I know his children. When they come in, I become a servant. Mark (the owner) isn't mean or anything, he's just, I dunno, Texan. And with that comes all sorts of personality traits only Texans can atribute to being solely Texan. Not all Texans are like this, but all Texans can recognize it.

Kinda weird, that slave/ servant ownership runs in our blood.
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Monday, May 2, 2005

   Aheeee!!!
I'm writing like a madman. I'm coming up with a thang called a comic that will be called something like BIOHAZARD. Every minute of everyday I see a scene that would rock so so soooooo much. Oh, man. Some of my best stuff yet... well, for my sci fi portfolio anyways.

The down side is I haven't time for anything else. Soooooo... finals are not a welcome thing with all this inspiration. I go an entire semester without it, then, just in time for finals, I get an all-consuming break-thru that artist only dream about.

So it's time for me to get back to writing and leave studying for another day.
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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Bllarrggghhaahhh!!!
*burp* Sorry.

It's official. The stress and no sleep and never stopping and I HATE MY LIFE has caught up with me. I came home from work fully intending to go to rehersal an hour later... until I was unable to leave due to vomiting and such. My head is about to explode, I swear. And keeping my stomache calm requires many peppermints.

Just go ahead. Shoot me like you would a sick horse. Bleah.
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