Sunday, November 21, 2004

   My brain is torturing me.
Ever had one of THOSE dreams? Those horribly awful dreams, the ones where your crush (that you have NO chance with in real life) confesses to having feelings for you or kisses you or something, and you two are blissfully happy together? But then, of course, you wake up. And you realize they don't like you at all and your life kinda sucks. And you really wish you didn't have that memory of what "they" kiss like or whatever. (Even though it's not really what they kiss like, or what it would be like if you dated, your brain just has invented it and sentenced you to suffer)
That is what happened to me this morning. So my day kinda started on a horrible note. Cuz shit like that just makes you want to go back to sleep, either a) to escape that feeling of loss and rejection you've been forced to experience ALL OVER AGAIN or b) to dream about them again lol. Blah.

I've been pretty busy this week, i kept meaning to post but then i just.. didn't.

In a not-so-surprising turn of events, I've lapsed back into my 9th/10th grade mode of thinking: "Boys are stupid and I hate them. But for some reason, I still want to date them. Go figure."

I hate life. lol

Now i need to be start doing my english that's due for tuesday or else i won't do it at all..
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Monday, November 15, 2004

   My brain is fried.
Urg. Urg i say. EECS exam was... meh. I don't know if i did well or not. I ran out of time and had to leave one proof completely blank...*sigh*

I still have more hw to do tonight too. Unfair. *cries*
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Sunday, November 14, 2004

   Procrastination is a disease.
I need to study... But i don't feel like it! Gah.

I wish there were some way for me to take screenshots of my PS2 games. That would be really kick-ass.

I'm back on my folksy "girl with a guitar" kick... more Dar.

"Her boyfriend is Tom but we call him the king of romance
He wears an American flag on the butt of his ripped up pants
And will they get married with kids of their own? He says
"Not if she's going to college we won't"
And he kisses her, oh...someday I'll have a boyfriend just like that..."

"But it's Saturday night, I can't sleep, and we're watching the news
She says "Do me a favor, don't go with a guy who would make you choose,"
And I don't understand and she tries to explain
And all that mascara runs down in her pain..."

Such good songs. And hey ppl, if you read this, go ahead and leave comments or sign the GB.. I like some feedback on my rambling. :D

I got almost no sleep this weekend. Friday i went to bed at 6:30 am (so that's techincally sat. morning) and got up about 3 1/2 hours later to go to the football game.. and then somehow managed to stay up for another 20 hours. I felt like sleeping in all day today, but i couldn't... *sigh*

And now back to trying to study...maybe..
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Friday, November 12, 2004

   Sesshomaru is hot. *swoon*
I put this desktop from the wallpapers here on.. it's of sess with his little shirt thing open and smiling an oh-so-sexy "come hither" smile... Gets me everytime i see it. This one: http://wallpapers.theotaku.com/view.php?action=retrieve&id=5607

Taeh is coming today! Yay! I'll pretend i don't have homework for a little while..*lol*

"Can you fix this? It's a broken heart. It was fine... but it just fell apart. It was mine, but now, I give it to you.. cuz you can fix it, you know what to do... Let your love cover me, like a pair of angel wings.." --Dar Williams
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   I should be sleeping.
It's 1:32 am and i should be asleep, since i haven't really had enough sleep this entire week. Ah, well. I have a midterm monday i need to study my butt off for all sunday, and probably tomorrow (erm... technically today), but i can't saturday bc it's the last home football game and my friend who goes to Northwestern is coming to visit a few of us here. I have a busy next few days ahead of me. Send me productive, non-procrastinative (that's not even a word...), thoughts please.
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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

   Hyped up on caffeine and really restless...
Yeah what i said up there. I just want to do fun stuff, but i SHOULD be doing homework, so i waste my time procrastinating and then i can't do anything fun anyway. No logic to my behavior at all sometimes, i swear.

Today is a little better than yesterday, but not by much. I'm restless and annoyed and frustrated and i can't figure out why. It sucks to be trying to escape from an emotion and you can't because you don't know what you're running from. A nap didn't even help. *sigh* Now back to procrastinating...
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I'm in love with the song "Gravity" from Wolf's Rain... I finally sat down and WATCHED that show, giving it my full attention, so i'm not as confused about it as i was before. I got a hold of the mp3, so i've just got it on repeat now... I'm addicted to depressing music.
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Tuesday, November 9, 2004

   I hate today.
Today was just a horrible day, and i don't even really know why. I've just been in a horrible, horrible mood. My AmCult teacher claims i never sent her an assignment when I talked to her 3 DAYS AGO and she said she got it and everything was fine. She is quite obviously on crack. And i'm forced to associate with this very nice boy that i like. The problem with that is he doesn't like me at all. I would much rather just avoid him from here on out (i confessed my feelings, which is why i know he doesn't like me) but he is my homework partner for a class. Ugh.


I HATE today.
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Monday, November 8, 2004

   Ooh my first post...
I don't have that much to say, except that I was forced to take a break from playing Ratchet and Clank 3: Up Your Arsenal, cuz you know that headache/nausea combo you get when you play video games too long? Yeah i have that hardcore. My eyes are even bloodshot. Hope it's not permanent lol. One would think that since i can't play my main distraction, i would actually be doing my hw.. but nope. I'm somehow wasting my time in other ways. Ah, well.

I have quite a few desktops, but unfortunately, they are all saved as .gif's bc i was just making them for me.. so eventually i'll convert them and be able to post the ones i like the best. :) Hopefully other people like them too.
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