Tuesday, January 16, 2007

   Heres my joke of Cinderella
Stinkerella and Luke
A fractured revision by Ramen elf



Last week, there was a beautiful, young, and mean girl named Cinderella, who lived in a big log mansion. She was very lazy and mostly spoiled. She had very long curly hair and green eyes and she had a tiny nose. She had bright rosy cheeks even though she never wore blush. She did wear lipstick.

One merry day her father puffed out his chest and said, “I have enough money to buy two plane tickets for Hawaii because…”

“Hawaii!!” Cinderella interrupted.

Her father continued, “The woman I shall marry in three days lives in Hawaii and we want to have our wedding there.”

Cinderella told her Akita, who spoke Japanese and was not like other Akitas, about what was happening. Pete said, “Why do you seem disappointed Cinderella, this will be fun. There will be more people to give me more attention la la la!!!!”

Cinderella packed her bags and said goodbye to Pete. But before she left she went to go say one last thing to Pete, “Ok here’s some books to study English and here’s a video that teaches you. If you don’t know English fluently when we come back then I will sell you to someone in Russia. So Cinderella found a babysitter that had freckles and long red hair and left.

It was a long and a very boring trip. Cinderella started to get really bored and yelled, “I want to be there now Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and stomped her feet.

“It’s not my fault at all so stop behaving like that!!” Her father scolded.

Finally, They came to the beautiful place called Hawaii. Cinderella saw a beautiful hotel. “Lets go,” said Cinderella. “And see, the hotel got five stars and it also has a pool and a hot tub!”

“Ok Cinderella,” her dad sighed. “It will cost a lot of money but it will be fun.” “Ok Cinderella, it’s time for me to check in the hotel now how bout you go in that house over there to meet your sisters Hilda and Gilda,” her father said.

When Cinderella went to go meet her soon to be sisters she was as mad as a lion cause Hilda and Gilda were as pretty as angels. “You are the ugliest people I’d ever seen dorks!!!,” Cinderella lied. “Now bring me a soda right now because I’m so pretty.” Hilda and Gilda tried to make Cinderella happy but she was never nice to them.

On the last night before the marriage, Cinderella was walking to the hotel. She found Pete sitting on the stairs of the hotel. So Cinderella picked him up and punched him on the paw and hollered “What are you doing here!”

I just was so lonely and the babysitter treats me like a slave!!!!,” Pete cried.

“ Ok I will tell father to check you in.”

One day after the wedding, a letter arrived inviting them to Prince Luke’s luau. Cinderella screamed at the top of her lungs “I want to go to the luau and I need something to wear now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“You’re not going to the luau,” said her step mom, “and I have three good reasons: 1: your manners are not right for a luau. 2: You need to stay here and teach Pete English and 3:…”

“I don’t want to hear anymore!!!!!!!!!!!” Cinderella screamed and ran to her room and started to cry. “I wish I could go to the luau. I’m the only one that deserves to go to that place!!!!,” Cinderella cried.

Pete couldn’t bear to see his mistress cry. So he put on a dress and started singing in Japanese, “I’m a crazy dog everyone knows I have problems la la la la la la Crazy dog!!!!!!!!” Cinderella was still sad. But Pete knew exactly what to do. He howled a howl Cinderella never heard before. It was something like eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihowl and all of a sudden a fairy (that looked more like a witch) appeared.

She crossed her ugly gray eyes and snapped “What on earth do you want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“I want to go to the luau and I need something to wear,” Cinderella pouted.

The fairy roared “I will help you if you give me $100,000 dollars!!!!!!!!”

“I ain’t giving you that much money,” Cinderella whined “but you can have Pete.” But the fairy still refused. So Cinderella ran to the hotel and grabbed all of Hilda and Gilda’s money and gave it to the fairy. And then she waved her wand and changed a rock into a nice Ferrari, two ripped up shoes into lovely dancing shoes, and a scarecrow into a beautiful dress.

While Cinderella was at the luau, Prince Luke was looking at Cinderella because of her beauty. Finally he walked up to her “Would you care to dance?” Luke asked. Cinderella smiled and nodded. The prince danced with Cinderella for a long time. While they were dancing Cinderella purposely tripped Hilda and as soon as that happened the clock struck twelve and Cinderella’s clothes magically changed from a beautiful dress to her pajamas. The prince was very surprised but he ran to help Hilda up. Everybody except for Hilda, Gilda and the prince started laughing at Cinderella.

Then Luke danced with both Hilda and Gilda. The Prince walked to Hilda and asked, “Will you marry me?” Hilda said yes. Cinderella shrieked. The two got married and lived happily ever after. As for Cinderella, she moved to Alaska and Pete went to live with Gilda. And most people call Cinderella Stinkerella today.



The End

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