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myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan
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Thursday, December 30, 2004
A depressing poem from past thoughts, and a bit of what happened yesturday....
I do hope you all are well. I went to the mall, got to meet up with Kaoru and Annie, and Brosenka even. Kaoru and Annie loved my baby brother... I can already see it now. He's going to grow up to be a lady's man... and a perfect gentleman. Lol... True, and if you could see him, you'd think the same. No one's allowed to know I met up with Brosenka... my mother will not allow it because we keep fighting like old times, and she pretty much hates him for the past. One of my mother's faults. And one I hate her for... because it forces hus further apart....
Either way... I am just going to type random thoughts... until I get something I believe is good, so bear with me, please. I do hope all of you are well, and I return home tomorrow (tech. today), so I shall see you all then....
Drowning Light
"I lay here in my thoughts, screaming in my mind;
All seems to be so far away... almost lost within time....
My dreams are no more, my purpose has ceased to be;
And all this time I thought others cared.... when it was merely a memory....
All seem to cry and hurt when I do, or is it a mirrored image of what they used to?
Simply put... too many are in pain, and I cannot help but feel all the blame....
I want to help and I want to scream, but all seems so lost to me;
Down in the dirt I cry and I bleed, and I've finally learned how not to breathe....
All this agony has returned from the past, and soon I shall hope it does not last;
Until the 'morrow my dearest friends, this is where I must meet the end...."
~Night~
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Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Hey again! ^_~ Can't get rid of me so easily~
I'm here at my stepmom's house, on her laptop, lol. My baby brother's lying on the ground cooing and fussing to be picked up because we're on our way out the door, and I'm trying to calm him down by speaking to him. I'm hoping to call people and meet up with them at the mall later on. I do hope to type more tomorrow, but I'm on my way out to meet family currently and have "Christmas" with them. Lol, I do hope everyone has fun. And... it's no so bad here, and I've missed it greatly. ^_^ Until the later... I need to help out with the child now. Lol, Ja ne. ^_~
~Night~
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Tuesday, December 28, 2004
 Going away, be back, and.... STUFF! Lol...
"It's TOO EARLY!!! I wanna go back to bed...." says the tired child inside.
Well, no matter how much I sleep, I still feel so tired and drained. ^_^ *sigh* There is no hope for me, lol. *falls over onto new soft comforter and bed* Ah.... grand feeling, lol. ^_^ I am awakened by the first light of day each morning, and last night, I burned candles to relax myself.... I suppose relaxing too much is not a good thing for me. ^_^ I ended up thinking of all I've lost and those I've been away from for so long.... and I cannot remember what else, but it was enough to make me cry. I suppose it's one of the reasons I've not healed properly in so long.... I don't allow myself to vent or cry. ^_^
Away from that topic.... I'm going to be gone for two days.... I get to visit some old friends in SC, and I am so happy... I have gifts for them, and I hope they will like them. ^_^ I am tired still, but I must finish packing and finish a picture I was painting for someone special... Not telling who, and it could be most anyone, because you are all special. ^_~ I shall talk to you later on.
Ja ne...
~Night~
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Monday, December 27, 2004
FINALLY!!!!!!
FINALLY!!!!!
Lol, I get a break from work... AFTER LIVING THERE FOR A WEEK!!! Lol, I get 3 days off... after requesting Monday, because I was SUPPOSED to go to SC and visit friends tomorrow.... *cusses out damnable people* *sighs* Ah well... I'm happy, and on break, and I INTEND to catch up on my sleep.... ^_^ *sigh* Other than this NOW occuring upset stomach? Life couldn't be much better. ^_^ Unless I were on my own, and with those I cared for, and life was perfectly okay, lol. ^_^ Not gonna happen, though. ^_^ WELL! I shall speak to you all later! ^_~ TALK TO ME! How are you all? ^_~ Ja ne!
~Night~
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Sunday, December 26, 2004
Hello!
Hey all! ^_^ WELL! I slept in my new room last night! ^_^ It was awesome! And it was a full moon! ^_^ Well, other than cutting open my finger at work last night, and being sore this morning, I'm perfect! ^_^ WELL! I must go.... plans changed, so I'm going to visit my friends on Wed... HOPEFULLY! *cusses out people* But neway... I gotta run! Working again today. ^_~ Ja ne!
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Saturday, December 25, 2004
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!
YAY for Christmas!!!! ^_^ I am SO happy! Other than work (which I'm not worried about in the LEAST), I got my NEW ROOM!!!! ^_^ I'm SO happy! I have my own room, and I get to decorate it in ANYWAY I please! ^_^ I'm SO SO SO happy! ^_^ I got a few great things as well, but it's not that important. The important thing is, I got to see my grandparents, got to spend some quality time with family WITHOUT CONFLICT, and I got my NEW ROOM! ^_^ Soon, I shall have internet on the computer in there, and I shall have SUCH FUN! ^_^ I won't be done with boxes and moving things and all in there (like clothes and such) until tomorrow.... main reason? WORK! And the fact that I don't feel like doing it right now because I have to send emails and such to everyone, wishing them a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! Lol....ok! Work...
I've been told by the managers, that they order a WHOLE bunch of food and all for those of us working the night shift, AND! It's awesome! ^_^ HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! I hope EVERYONE has an AWESOME-RIFIC DAY!!!! ^_^ Lmao.... holidays are kewlio........lmao! I'm TOO hyper! ^_~ Ja ne!
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Friday, December 24, 2004
WOOHOO!!!! Lol, and the sugar kicks in.... ^_^ HEEHEE!!!!
Now is the time for all that deny the powers bestowed upon them to die....
Woah... where the HELL did that come from? Lol, neway! I don't have much time on here... and... I supose it shall be fun play to know what all is going through your minds. ^_~ Lol, I shall... speak to you all later on. I have much to do.... people to visit... things to prepare, lol. ^_^ Well! My family came over, and I got to open a few cards and a gift... I got warm PJs (I NEEDED them!) and about... *counts* $65. Lol, I'm loved more than the adults! ^_~ It's my song I sing now, lol... I go around, pull out my wad of bills, and say: "You all might have gotten fancy little presents and all, but I am STILL loved more than you!!!" It's SO funny! They all laugh and shake their heads, because they KNOW it's true! Lol... WELL! I gtg and get ready for work! AH! Lol, Ja ne! ^_~
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Thursday, December 23, 2004
Pain and an Endless Night of it.....
The pain is growing greater now... I know, I should still be in the happy mood of yesturday, and I am.... but I'm in so much pain today.... I was awake most of the night.... I couldn't breathe, and it hurt so much, tears were litterally forced from me.... It felt as if someone was wrenching my heart... as if they were trying to kill me... and my head.... It hurt so much... and I kept hearing laughter.... this... horrid laughter! I finally blacked out at around 3am this morning.... and I've been trying to get rid of this consistent migrane from it all.....
I have to work the entire weekend of Christmas... and they were going to try to make me work the days I was going to SC... I told them I couldn't, and since I've had to work many days not on my availability.... Jackasses.... *sigh* I still hurt, and my back was thrown out of place last night, for whatever reason.... I didn't do anything, lol.
I apologize that this isn't the happiest post, but it's not the worst either.... but now, I must go and email a few people involving last night, and why I was hurting.... I need to speak to a few old Guardians of mine, as well... friends... whom I've not spoken to in.... well, many many years, let's just say. I shall talk to you all later on.... Ja ne....
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Y-ello all! Lmao... ^_~
Hello all. ^_^ I'm a bit sad... but also a bit happy....
Sad: One of my friends... he's on here, on MyO... and he's unhappy... His grandmother's dying with brain cancer.... But he's adopted me as his big sister... the one he never had and always wanted, lol. ^_^
Happy:
~I'm not as sick, and slowly beginning to heal... and my mind is back in order enough to where I dream. ^_^ It's so wonderful to dream and not have it be nightmares of the past and so far inbetween! ^_^ I love it!
~I have made a few new friends on MyO... and they are all very nice. ^_^
~I get to go and visit Kaoru, Annie, and Demetre a few days after Christmas! ^_^ I'm so happy! And I have presents for them! Lol... even thought they said no. ^_~
WELL! Other than that... I'm the greatest! Lol... well, ttyl k? ^_~ IT IS SO GREAT to be happy... and yet, I also get to help out others and make them happy.... Life is somewhat normal again.... and it's the first it's been so normal and grand in over SEVEN YEARS for me. ^_^ I hope all of you have a most WONDERFUL DAY! ^_~ Ja ne all! ^_~
As the Shadows that watch over all of Night, I am watching and guarding over all of you....
~Night~
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Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Yo!...*waits*.... okay....
Today is tiring, and we have yet another day without school, because of the storm.... Most of the snow has melted, but that still didn't change their minds... So, exams are pushed back until the 5th and 6th of Jan. And I get to go for a damn physical on the 4th, I do believe.... It's to find out exactly what's wrong with me... and by God I hate those damn doctors and such. They've fucked over my life countless times. *sigh* When I was young, they all had me put through tests, surgery, and all sorts of things... it was painful, irritating, and I was very young and I hated them for it... in the end, I came out without a hole in the roof of my mouth (long story, tell ya tomorrow, if you'd like), I found I had Juvenile Arthritise (sp? like I care), and many other things... Anyway, long story short, I get the JOYS of finding where my friends live, give them their gifts, and visit the HORRID assholes of my life and have fun in getting put through MORE tests... and they shall take many needles to my arm, curtesy of my mother reuesting blood work and tests..... Damnable woman.... *sigh* ANYWAY! Other than begin overly tired (my body's been trying to heal itself more since I've been sick, so thus.. I sleep like I'm in a comma, lol), and a bit irritated, I'm PERFECT! ^_^ And that's the truth. Well! I wish ppl would get online and talk to me via AIM, lol...but right now... I gtg, k? ^_~ Ja ne!
"Shadows protect and guard you all as is my wish...."
~Night~
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