Thursday, September 23, 2004

Ugh....
*sigh* I feel really sick today...as I have for a while now. I do not know what is wrong, but I know I do not like it. I can get over it.

I shall have fun today. I am not going to take crap from Chris anymore. So, he gets a piece of my mind for avoiding me all afternoon because I was hanging out and talking to a good friend of mine(whose a guy, but what girl doesn't have male friends?). He's really starting to bring me down. I hate it... *sigh* Ah well, I'll get over that too.

*sigh* Well, if neone wants one of my gay looking school pics, I'll be happy to send one to u, but you have to email me the address to mail it to. I don't have many, lol... and I would burn them, but I must give them away, mother's orders. *loks at pics* God, I look like a damn idiot in these...or a hippie, I don't know which...lol. Well, I must go for now, Ja.
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Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Work, school, watever...
Well, I got home about the time expected, got online, changed, got back online, went to sleep, and woke up around 5-4 and 1/2 hours later. Not bad... but I'm so tired. Won't complain though... I'm only scheduled to work this Fri. too, so! I tore open my hand at work.... Getting ice for the drink machines, and my hand caught inbetween my watch and a metal counter corner... Fun. Anyway... I'm most definately going to break up with Chris... His whining attitude and the fact he's a year younger... *sigh* It doesn't settle well with me, and it seems he only wants me to touch him (give hugs, kiss him at school and risk getting in trouble (which because of him I came SEVERELY close to)) and I don't like that...

My mom and I had a big fight before I left for work... everyone was on my case, but since they couldn't get a ride for me at 5:30, like I kindly asked, I took my dear sweet time and even checked a few things online... wasn't leaving and having to be there until 6:30.... My mom was having an off day, and I wasn't in much of a good mood either... Cried a little, which felt good after about a month of not. Well, I'm gonna go, school and all. ttyl. Ja.
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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

hi again...
I feel sick, numb, hollow, tired, and bruised. I'm almost dead to the world, and when I go in slow motion, the world does. I feel weighed down, and I feel the world hates me... and I don't know why.... I'm depressed and I won't be home today until aorund midnight. I go to school until 6 (driver's Ed after school) and go home to change, then go straight to work until close.... Joy Joy. I get little sleep as is... heh, all well... I gtg...school, and *sgh* I'll try not to fall asleep. Ja all. Have a wonderful day....
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Monday, September 20, 2004

Living without power's a bitch, no?
Life without pwer's a total bitch. Heh, storm hit us bad. I'm sore because a couple of days ago, we moved the tree that had fallen beside our house. I did most of the heavy lifting and moving, mainly because my stepbrother wasn't home, and my stepfather was doing allthe cutting of the tree, almost hit my mother too, heh. Well, other than that, heels suck.

Started my job Friday, and went in today (still Sun. if u don't count EARLY AM hours) and I'm not standing all of 8 freaking hour shifts in heels. Neway, it wasn't bad, but I was irritated at how slowly things went today. I got a job to have someting to do, not to stand around in heels for 8 freaking hours. *sigh* They had me as an usher, but I was jumping around to where I was needed to keep myself busy.

We finally got our power back last night. And school's on a 2 hour delay, for the time being. Can't read your comments on my AOL, no longer give a crap about who wrote what on Brosenka's site, say whatever you wish.... I'm in a depressed state... Don't know why... but feel... I guess isolated from everything. I've had fun living with no power and going to work all weekend, chowing down on popcorn, and doing nothing... Lol, what a sad life I live.... Eh.

Chris, my "friend" I constantly mention... is a complete and total asshole. I was in a bad mood because of things going on at home AND at school, and normally I suppress those things, but I couldn't, thus allowing me to beat the crap outta ppl at school, and be a bitch to everyone (which all my friends in SC can verify, I didn't try to make a habit of doing, but it's best to leave me be when I did, no?). Neway, Chris's friend told me Chris loves me to death, but can't takemy being a bitch and is going to break up with me if I don't stop. He's too young to know wtf "Love" is... poor SOB... neway, I wrote a few nasty lettersto vent, do't really gve a flying fuck right now.... Whatever, I'll be a depressed, unhappy, non-bitch little girl for the next week, and then see wtf his sorry ass does about it! ^_^

Nice post for Sat. btw, Brosenka. I'm sorry I couldn't see you, but the storm knocked out power in the whole city... Get over it.

Went to see Resident Evil: Apocolipse, Sat. I wasn't working, and was able to get me, my mom, my sister, and stepsister in free. A movie I deem well worth the money and time to see. MUCH better than the first one, and from what I know/seen/heard of with the game, better than that as well. I say if you have money and spare time, go see it. I'm not easily scared, but there are a few unexpected parts to that movie, very good if you're into horror/thrillers that get your adrenaline pumping. Must go... it is late, and school IS continued tomorrow, as far as I know, even if it is on a 2 hour delay... I need sleep. Ja.
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Thursday, September 16, 2004

   another day in this life of hell... WONDERFUL!
I apologize for not commenting yesturday, I was overloaded with IMs, and I wasn't the happiest of ppl. Turns out, my stepfather's been going onto MY AOL and reading my emails... the bastard... And I'm not happy at some ppl in my 3rd period class. I was constantly pissed off at several ppl, and because of that, I truly am abusive now...

I went and beat Chris, bruising him, I know... I was mad and hit another friend, stabbed him, causing him to bleed, and in 3rd, licked the blood from his arm with my finger. I didn't find it amusing.... I was truly scared of myself, but I honestly (and some of u who talked to me via IM could possibly tell) didn't give a flying fuck. Anyway... I'm still pissed because I had PROOF today...

*sigh* Other than that, more migranes, back troubles, and my legs giving out from time to time, I'm PERFECT other than being in this house!!!! *sigh* I apologize... i have a LOT of anger problems since moving here... I hate it, but I can't do a damn thing because of my mother... maybe I could leave when I turn 17.... eh, whatever.... Ja.
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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

   Another day.. but who gives a crap?
I have a bad migrane this morning... *sigh* Ah well, I'll get over it, they're common for me, sadly. Ok! WONDERFUL fucking fun to have today!!!! Here's what whoever the hell it is wrote on Brosenka's site:

: Rayea, my love! Come to me so that we may spend forever in eternal happiness!

I'm not amused. Whoever the hell goes to his site, better speak up now, and until I find the one who did it, I'm going to be in a very pissed off mood.....

OK! To those of you who didn't do it! Lol, I hope you all have a wonderful day... And I apologize to a few of you, I know I promised to be online later on after I ate dinner... *sigh* But ppl can be such assholes.... My mom and stepdad turned off the computer, told me to watch Rose Red (awesome movie) with them, while they constantly got on my nerves, coming behind me and messing with my hair and all, and then expecting me to not try to bite them, which I gave FAIR warning to several times. *sigh* So, I got up when my mom did, hid in their giant closet, scared the hell outta her, went to get ready for bed, and left them.

NEWAY! My night was grand... I even had a GOOD dream for once... then the alarm clock rang RIGHT as I was about to start some weird, yet kewl game.... Neway, it's hazy, and difficult to explain. Lol, well... ttyl. I'm still a little tired... AND I have to go to school and possiblly get in trouble for beating the shit outta something. ^_^ It'll be worth it, lo.. Ja! ^_~
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Monday, September 13, 2004

Ok, gonna go evil for a few days....
A few things:

1) I got my worker's permit, so I can work now. ^_^ Good thing.

2) Who in the HELL thought they could go onto Brosenka's site, and post what they did in his comment box?!?!?! I'm NOT amused. Someone better come clean, or there WILL be hell to pay, got that?

3)Time for you all to see what my stepdad's been typing to me via email.... I haven't replied to this one yet, but this is the latest one...

I don't remember you ever telling me Patrick has been hitting you. If he does it and you internalize then it is on you for not coming to me and letting me know. If he is tell me and it will stop. Calling Jerry and wishing him a happy birthday and then telling me you don't really like him is two faced, if you don't want any contact tell him to stop. Even in your written words I can see immaturity but at least you know you are immature so that's a step in the right direction. Just know I am here to help anytime I can....

PJ

well, gtg and eat.... Ja all, and I apologize for my highly negative mood, but some ppl won't keep there mouths shut when they need to.... Ja.
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Sunday, September 12, 2004

   another day...god my neck hurts from the phone...
Hi all....god, waking up at 8-9 am for no reason bacause you don't need to really is a bitch, lol. SO! um... not much to say so early, lol. I hope all of you are well.

OMFG!!! th damn picnic (and I know I misspelled it yesturday) was a total waste of time! I could've gone to Mellee! Lol, ah well... ^_^

I have a headache, and me and my stepdad are kinda... heh, well, he's pissing me and my mom off with the emails he's sending me. ^_^ If I get a majority rule on this, I'll post one tomorrow. ^_^ Let you all see what he's saying, lol. WELL! I hope you all have fun... I gotta go for now.. Ja! ^_~
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Saturday, September 11, 2004

Another day, lol
Lol...

ONE: I'm NOT nething like them, and I'm glad
TWO: I share a room with my stepbro, merely because my little sis shares a room with my stepsis, and the addition's not done...
THREE::: have no damn clue! lol...

I'm much better...not sick nemore. Mom has a company picnick, SO! I get to miss out on Mellee with my friends in SC...

Mellee: Midival(however tf it's spelled, lol) RPing thing. Real life, they give you rubber/foam weapons, and u run around RPing with everyone! lol, Like Lazer tag...but medival, and with foam weapons, lol..... um...it woulda been awesome! lol...

SO! how r u all? Lol, I'm here to help, got a prob? IM/PM me! ^_^ All the info's on MyO! Lol....well, gotta run, like... almost 1 am, lol. Ja! ^_~ AND THNX ALL!!!!



AND!!!! AND AND AND!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT!!!! (aka: DemonMessiah) ^_^
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Friday, September 10, 2004

   Another day, but no pain!!! lol...
Lol, YAY! I have now pain today, and I've not thrown up for a couple of days. ^_~ SO! I'm feeling better, a bit depressed because my new family is arguing like hell, but better! ^_^ OH OH OH OH OH OH!!!!!!

Do you think you could do one of my friends a favor? He's new, and he's REALLY nice, but he doesn't have any friends on MyO yet. ^_^ Don't treat him like e newbie, he hates that, but please go by his site, sign his gb, and say hi?
His MyO sn is::: Brosenka

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

WELL! *sigh* I want to talk to someone, but no one appears to be online. Lol, I guess I'll just go watch depressing music vids. Lol, I hate when my family fights, because... well, when I was really young, that's all I remember hearing. There was always some sort of arguement going on, whether about me or my brother or something one of my parents did. I hate it, which is what led to the divorce.... Eh, my mom's not happy here, like me. I don't like the idea of moving back so soon, but... *sigh* I don't want to be here... st least, not in this house. I'm not keen on sharing a room with my stepbrother, who gives me all these damn rules to follow. I don't like my stepdad, mostly because he's an ass to me and my mom. My stepsister...eh, she's just... a bit too full of herself from time to time, and doesn't care for anyone not giving her her way when that happens. Ah well, I can get over it, right?

SO! On a lighter, happier note! ^_^ LOVE YA GUYS!!!! You are my true family! SO! I hope you are all well! If not, talk to me about what's wrong. ^_^ I'd be MORE than happy to help or give advice! Lol, well...ttyl! Ja! ^_~
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