myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Female
Location
• Where ever I happen to choose at the time.
Member Since
• 2004-06-18
Occupation
• Writer
Real Name
• Night

Personal

Achievements
• Depends on what you'd call an acheivement....
Anime Fan Since
• A long time, hard to say from wence it all started...
Favorite Anime
• Most any and all anime.
Goals
• Another secret for me to know and you to not.
Hobbies
• To sing, write (be it poetry or my stories), involving myself in my art, and my music (be it writing my songs and putting them to music or playing any random thing and listening to my CDs), also my artistic works.
Talents
• Oh, it'd make it so much more interesting to speak to me in person about that.

myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

Friday, June 25, 2004

Night of Unrelenting Hell...
As I sit here and cry,
Letting the world pass me by,
I think "How could I have let him hurt me,
When you and the world told me to flee?"
Now I'm here, and there's nothing left,
Only misery for the times that left were best,
And I sit here crying,
Ever so slowly dying,
From all he's ever done,
Now to the point that I am numb...

My "Boyfriend" went into the Army 3 weeks ago, and he's coming home early. He lied to everyone of us, even his own mother. And I knew he was, we all did. I broke up with him 3 months ago, and we got back together just before he left, and I honestly don't know why. Yesturday, I found the reason as to why he's leaving so earliy... and it's one of the reasons I've always been scared of him. See... he has a bi-polar disease which means he'll be kind and perfectly fine one minute, but the next he's violent and angry at everyone. He's even gone off on me before for it...
And, well, he had to tell them about it... But the funny thing is, WHY he had to tell them. He said that he had been perfectly fine the first few days he was there, but then he and this guy were talking, good friends too... The guy didn't do anything to him, but his bi-polar kicked in, and he goes and beats the guy's face in....
I stayed up all night crying, and I was so distressed... to the point of laughing! Heh, I laughed and cried until about 1am, then I woke up every other hour. ^_^ Fun... but I wrote that poem to express a few things. I am just so tired of him hurting me for the past year! So...now... I will end it, and my mom and new step-dad will make sure I never see him again, if it is my will. Yet... I'm so scared of what he might do...last time he threatened suicide... and he can go through with it, or he could come and hurt me...ya know? I just...*sigh* I have a lot on my mind, mostly distressed things...and I am not myself...and I doubt I will be for a while. I shall be on Otaku if I can tomorrow, but we're also going to Asheville this weekend, so if not, I'll be back on on Monday, for sure. ^_^ But who cares, right? ^_^ I'll talk to all of you later, maybe today...if I can. Ja ne! ^_~

"Kill me slowly as I die,
Calmly laying here as I cry,
Always playing, now I laugh,
As I slowly destroy my past..."
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