myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Female
Location
• Where ever I happen to choose at the time.
Member Since
• 2004-06-18
Occupation
• Writer
Real Name
• Night

Personal

Achievements
• Depends on what you'd call an acheivement....
Anime Fan Since
• A long time, hard to say from wence it all started...
Favorite Anime
• Most any and all anime.
Goals
• Another secret for me to know and you to not.
Hobbies
• To sing, write (be it poetry or my stories), involving myself in my art, and my music (be it writing my songs and putting them to music or playing any random thing and listening to my CDs), also my artistic works.
Talents
• Oh, it'd make it so much more interesting to speak to me in person about that.

myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

Friday, July 23, 2004

I'm venting with my evil rath, comment, read, don't, whatever... I could care less this early in the morning....
It's about 12:30 am and I have no clue if I'm going to even feel like getting online much after yesturday...I might later on...but not for a long while. I've been bitched out for "being online all day" because I just happen to be online when ppl leave, get off, do whatever, then be BACK online when they come home.... Fuckin' assholes!!!!! Sorry, I feel like venting. I have a huge f***in bruise on my leg thanks to me brother, and he and my step brother think cussing me out and telling me to calm the fuck down when I yell cuss words at them is fine along with hitting me!!! NO IT IS NOT!!!! I've done nothing with my summer except give up my old life to start a new one which really sucks right now.... I'm growing apart from my friends and I've not been able to talk to most of them since summer began... I'm tired of not being able to go anywhere because I'm held under a much more strict lock and key then I was before my mother got remarried... I want to get away from the threats of my ex-bf... Demetre (no offense Demetre) hasn't been really helpful when he lies to me about being hurt and acts like things are fine when I know him better.... My friend Shadow(no offense to you either) has been avoiding me since night before last, and has been saying we need to work out the problem that happened, but he won't say a word to me! I want to get out of my house, away from my stress, be treated like I'm worth something to my fuckin family!!!.... God... I've never said my life was SO aweful or just the worst, but everyone asks me: "Why is you're life such Hell, huh? I bet I know someone who has it worse than you!" I never said it was so bad, so aweful...but I really would like a break...that's all I ask for.... I've been depressed and angry since moving, and my mom says: "Oh, well, you're not the only one... I had to make sacrifices too..." She's the one who wanted to get fuckin married!!! And she knew I didn't want to move!!! She didn't either! But she tells me to take all the crap everyone's dishing to me when she won't take hers and has to come crying to me everytime something goes slightly astray?! NO! NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!! I refuse to take this anymore!!!!! I'm going to take a nice, extra long walk, see if I can go swimming, take a nice LONG hot shower, and cry until I grow numb again.... I liked being numb, the world didn't hurt as much.... I'm sorry everyone...but I'm so angry, I have no one here anymore... I left my home and all my friends....so I only have here.... I thank all of you for being so supportive...and I no longer care, I'll openly admit it... I've done nothing but cry for 3 days now.... It's way outta character for me, but I no longer care! I'm too stressed out to care, and I only want solace and a place of my own to hide and never be shown until I want to come out.... Sometimes I feel like a lead weight, and I feel as if I'm suspended between this world and Death...and right now...I'd greatly long for death. I only have my friends, you all... to live for anymore.... I no longer want to give my heart a chance...not for a LONG while. I've lost my grandmother a month ago, and I've had all these other things happen thanks to my ex.... I'm going to go cry more now... maybe I'll feel better. Inuyasha's on anyway... Later... and again, I apologize...and I thank all of you for hearing me out and being here.... Ja matte ne...
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