myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Female
Location
• Where ever I happen to choose at the time.
Member Since
• 2004-06-18
Occupation
• Writer
Real Name
• Night

Personal

Achievements
• Depends on what you'd call an acheivement....
Anime Fan Since
• A long time, hard to say from wence it all started...
Favorite Anime
• Most any and all anime.
Goals
• Another secret for me to know and you to not.
Hobbies
• To sing, write (be it poetry or my stories), involving myself in my art, and my music (be it writing my songs and putting them to music or playing any random thing and listening to my CDs), also my artistic works.
Talents
• Oh, it'd make it so much more interesting to speak to me in person about that.

myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

Sunday, October 10, 2004

What did I do wrong....
Fuck my last damn post... I've had my choice made for me... and I don't want that one... in fact, I don't think I can make a choice... I refuse the one that was made for me... so I guess that there's only one more choice... The one where I shoot myself to make everyone happy has been blown to fucking hell... I'm so sorry for all I've done I'm so FUCKING SORRY!!!! I just... I.... Why? Why do I do the things I swore I'd never do...? Why? I promised I wouldn't hurt him.. that I've known him too long, cared for him too much.... Why the fuck don't I just die?.... I can't.... I can't ask forgiveness... I don't deserve it... I can't cry... I can't even... I can hardly move as is... why did I do that?

"Lord catch me as I fall, save me and protect me within your grace. Let my pain be washed away and let my eyes finally dry. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to move, it hurts to cry, and I'm dying in your arms, Lord. Take me home, let me be. Peace and loneliness is all I'd ever ask for... Please, Lord, take me home, catch me as I die in your arms, and let my eyes be dry..."
"I've stopped crying, and I've put back on my mask, just to hide away my pain again..."

Please... let me be free... I realize the mistake I've made... I realize that I was denying myself the only thing I needed to make me happy... and now... I can't even express my pain... I cannot cry... and he probably hates me.... What have I done...? What...?
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