myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Female
Location
• Where ever I happen to choose at the time.
Member Since
• 2004-06-18
Occupation
• Writer
Real Name
• Night

Personal

Achievements
• Depends on what you'd call an acheivement....
Anime Fan Since
• A long time, hard to say from wence it all started...
Favorite Anime
• Most any and all anime.
Goals
• Another secret for me to know and you to not.
Hobbies
• To sing, write (be it poetry or my stories), involving myself in my art, and my music (be it writing my songs and putting them to music or playing any random thing and listening to my CDs), also my artistic works.
Talents
• Oh, it'd make it so much more interesting to speak to me in person about that.

myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

Thursday, January 6, 2005

Depression and Heartache does horrid things to your mind.....
I feel scared, and isolated... I'm perfectly fine so far.... I've not cried in 2 days..... I guess... as much as I need to and want to, I cannot after 44 hours straight of it..... I went through 5 panic attacks in less than an hour, and then another the next time I awoke.... from the dreams.....

~It was horrid replays of the same thing, different ways, times.... and so on. I had nightmares about 3 of my closest guy friends raping me.... I won't say anymore on that now..... I'm at school, doing nothing. I'm exempt from exams, but I'm here to hangout with my friend until she leaves tomorrow.... she's moving.....

~*sigh* My mom's no better..... I hate it and I want her to get better.... to not need surgery... and to not have cancer..... Like I can help it.... *sigh* I want to cry, but I cannot.... at least I'm exempt from exams.... but I need something to keep my mind off things.

~I must apologize to those of you I swore to that I would never hurt myself again..... In the fit of rage... I cut my arm, they look like cat scratches now, thanks to a few days' worth healing. And I carved the word: "DIE" ...into my wrist... just below, acctually. It's slower to heal. But I swore after this, I'd rather hit a wall than cut myself more. I must go for now, almost time to leave.... until later....

~Night~
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