Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan


Thursday, January 6, 2005


Depression and Heartache does horrid things to your mind.....
I feel scared, and isolated... I'm perfectly fine so far.... I've not cried in 2 days..... I guess... as much as I need to and want to, I cannot after 44 hours straight of it..... I went through 5 panic attacks in less than an hour, and then another the next time I awoke.... from the dreams.....

~It was horrid replays of the same thing, different ways, times.... and so on. I had nightmares about 3 of my closest guy friends raping me.... I won't say anymore on that now..... I'm at school, doing nothing. I'm exempt from exams, but I'm here to hangout with my friend until she leaves tomorrow.... she's moving.....

~*sigh* My mom's no better..... I hate it and I want her to get better.... to not need surgery... and to not have cancer..... Like I can help it.... *sigh* I want to cry, but I cannot.... at least I'm exempt from exams.... but I need something to keep my mind off things.

~I must apologize to those of you I swore to that I would never hurt myself again..... In the fit of rage... I cut my arm, they look like cat scratches now, thanks to a few days' worth healing. And I carved the word: "DIE" ...into my wrist... just below, acctually. It's slower to heal. But I swore after this, I'd rather hit a wall than cut myself more. I must go for now, almost time to leave.... until later....

~Night~

Comments (6)

« Home