myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Female
Location
• Where ever I happen to choose at the time.
Member Since
• 2004-06-18
Occupation
• Writer
Real Name
• Night

Personal

Achievements
• Depends on what you'd call an acheivement....
Anime Fan Since
• A long time, hard to say from wence it all started...
Favorite Anime
• Most any and all anime.
Goals
• Another secret for me to know and you to not.
Hobbies
• To sing, write (be it poetry or my stories), involving myself in my art, and my music (be it writing my songs and putting them to music or playing any random thing and listening to my CDs), also my artistic works.
Talents
• Oh, it'd make it so much more interesting to speak to me in person about that.

myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

Sunday, February 20, 2005

GOD MOTHER FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!! (srry, had to say it once)
Love is painful...and it hurts.... I'm not entirely sure I can stand it much longer, but for one I love... I'd do anything. I'm just not sure how long my emotional stability can last..... I had... an interesting night/day..... it's currently 3:40am, and I'm not going to sleep any time soon. Here's what happened:

~~For the second time, a dear and close person to me ask my permission to commit suicide. Do you know how much that hurts... for them to say that them committing suicide is entirely on your hands? ....one of my friends did that to me a few years back, and I failed at keeping them alive.... they killed themselves and it was literally my fault and theirs. It hurts when ppl do that to me....~~

~~~Work: was horrid. Great at first, despite my morbid mood at the beginning. But! I was so numb I didn't care. I was working, running around like a fucking chicken with my head cut off.... I was in concession, and usher... concession wasn't bad, but when i got to usher.... Mmm. Bad bad bad. I found out how TRULY sick and disgusting ppl could be....

~Cleaing one of the theaters on my own. I find in the middle aisle of the theater, the wrapper. In the back aisle of the theater... was the actual used condom itself.... You want to know how bad that is to see in a fucking movie theater that people bring their KIDS to?!...I almost threw up, and I have one HELL of a strong stomach... but that was... no.
~Then, I almost breakdown entirely because I was just... I was so stressed and pushed FAR past my limits... and I was emotionally dead.

~I was in so much pain from my lower back being compressed so tightly against forcefully used muscles.... and no one here to give me a back rub, lol.

~I burnt my hand in 5 different places, and the nerves were so shot and it was so freaking red that I laid my hand down on a flat surface, and the muscles kept twitching and spasming so bad that my hand just shook... so badly that I could not make it stop.

~I hit my leg on an arm rest in one of the theaters because I was the only one cleaning and i had to hurry for the next movie it was so fucking busy.... and now I have a bruise the size of two baseballs just above my left knee.

~And, aside from almost beatingthe shit out of a few kids, TJ ~(male co-worker...)~, Alan ~(one of my managers)~, and almost breaking half the things I came in contact with ~(meal door leading to and from concessions, metal parts to our machines (popper, and such things), glass counter tops, and almost snapping a brrom in half with one hand)~.... I was perfect!~~~

~~~~Lmao... now, today... since I cleaned my room and the bathroom freaking SPOTLESS before work, getting bitched at bythe MIGHT as FUCK Stepfather(!) because he didn't think I was up when I was because I set my fucking alarm(!), and everything QUICKLY going the fuck downhill from there... Life's GREAT! The only thing I'm looking forward to today is hanging out with good friends (co-workers I get along with greatly) "today" and seeing my baby brother Nathaniel, who's not even a year old, lol. ^^ he's SO much cuter, for those of you who saw the pics, lol. ^^ well... that, and My cheese cake! ^^ I get cheese cake becaus it's... the "celebration" for family in SC (Biological father, his wife, and half brother) because they can't see me on Tues, my real b-day..... Like I give a fuck I'm telling anyone this!~~~~

~I gtg and get some sleep... I'm tired, pissed, and not feeling good anymore. Later.~

~Night~

"Shadows all around, yet nothing left to be found...."
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