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myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan


Friday, August 26, 2005


Venting a bit of my sorrows....
Friendship, being torn from you, feeling hollow inside.... those are my main worries now.... I seem to be the ulitimate cause of hellishness in my family's life now.... They've shown that's what it is too... and not in a subtle sense.... I feel so hollow, so empty in my soul, and I've been this way for weeks now.... I hide it, no one wants to know, no one I could talk to, so I've hidden it.... It hurts... it hurts so much to feel so hollow, to be in a house full of people and yet feel so alone because you're so far away from those you want to be with.... I seem selfish to want the one thing I know will make me happiest, but it's only fair. I get what I deserve for being so horrible to so many for most of my life.... I'm meant to live in this world a cruel fate of demonic hatred and in the fury and loathing of those I love because I am getting what I so deserve.... I'm the cause of so many problems in my family, and it's so horrible to feel this way....

I've talked to others about the hollow issue, but it's not helping... the more I talk to those I love, the more hollow it feels... then a friend hurt me emotionally last night.... it made a huge void, but I told them no matter what they want (my friendship or not) I'm always going to be here for them.... That's true for any of you and for all those I cannot be with....

I'll give you guys my cell number if you want, via PM, and if you could, give me your number so I can call you sometimes....

I have a feeling I'm going to be crying a lot today....

I must be off.... Blessed be.

~Night

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