myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Female
Location
• Where ever I happen to choose at the time.
Member Since
• 2004-06-18
Occupation
• Writer
Real Name
• Night

Personal

Achievements
• Depends on what you'd call an acheivement....
Anime Fan Since
• A long time, hard to say from wence it all started...
Favorite Anime
• Most any and all anime.
Goals
• Another secret for me to know and you to not.
Hobbies
• To sing, write (be it poetry or my stories), involving myself in my art, and my music (be it writing my songs and putting them to music or playing any random thing and listening to my CDs), also my artistic works.
Talents
• Oh, it'd make it so much more interesting to speak to me in person about that.

myOtaku.com: Rayea Kagome chan

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

How I feel inside....
If I touch a burning candle,
I can feel no pain;
If you cut me with a knife,
It’s still the same.
And I know her heart is beating,
And I know that I am dead;
And the pain here that I feel,
Try and tell me it’s not real.
And it seems I still have a tear to shed.
If I touch a burning candle,
I can feel no pain;
In the ice or in the sun,
It’s all the same.
Yet I feel my heart is aching,
Though it does beat it’s breaking;
And the pain here that I feel,
Try and tell me it’s not real.
I know that I am dead,
Yet it still seems that I have some tears to shed….

It's the chorus lines of the song Tears To Shed from Tim Burton's Corpse Bride.

It describes... very well... how I feel right now. I lost a dear friend of mine.... I got a call Thursday night saying that he'd been killed... and I'd rather not talk about how. And to top that off, I've lost my best friend in all the world.... He was online and would not speak to me Thursday night, no matter how much I pleaded for him to respond.... I ended up getting offline and throwing my hands to the winds with it. I do not know what to do anymore....

I wouldn't allow myself to cry until late in the school day on Friday.... I broke down, but just barely. And I-... I reverted back to an old habit I swore never to do again... but I won't do it anymore... I'm too numb to try anymore. (It's not drugs or alcohol; I'm not into that.)

I'm still a bit numb, but I spent my weekend forgetting everything. *shrugs* I had nothing else to do to keep me sane. But things are better now. I got a call from my friend today... and I was a bit surprised... but it depressed me. He only wanted to call so I could know what was going on in his life... to let me know he was having to fight those suicidal tendencies once more.... I was not happy with that.

Ah well, life moves on, right? ^^ 'm composing a song, for those of you who are interested. I'm working on trying to get it finished so I might be able to do something with it.... But I must get going. I've a million things to do and so limited time, lol. Adieu and Avi'nala.

~Night
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