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• 1990-09-04
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myOtaku.com: rebeliousAlexiel


Saturday, June 18, 2005

   True weakness
well i only have one word to describe today, it SUCKED. I left a few messages on one of my friends away messages, and she happends to be the one that is going out with the guy i like. They wer'nt mean or anything, they were true. One i left said " i hope you have fun at ur boyfriends house, i know i almost ruined it" and that was true because i almost intrupted them the other day when i stopped by Ransoms house ( the guy i like) to apologize for being so mean to him.So when i got on the computer she and ransom both instant messaged me saying all this FUCKING BULL SHIT! Ransom was trying to understand why i was acting like this and why i got so mad at him a week ago and why im still mad at him. i just told him to shut the fuck up and then i signed off. But the chaos didnt end there, oh no, he called me! he hasnt called me since we went out, which was a really really long time ago. He asked me what was going on and i just said, give me one good reason why i shouldnt hang up right now, i told him that he didnt care and he said, would i be calling you if i didnt? then there was a very very long silence then i said well i dont care and i hung up. It hurt so bad and it still does. I have no idea what to do. I went to my room and started eating a bowl of rice like crazy and cried at the same time. I dont know if ive ever cried like that before... it hurts so much. I dont know why i like him so much all he does is cause me pain. I guess hes my one TRUE weakness
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