Monday, July 3, 2006

Inuyasha FF- Teh curzed sherd of tha shekon Jeul
Now that the title has your attention…

Where to begin, this is a delicate subject after all…One false sentence and the fan girls will smell me out and attempt to take my Life, at this point I would have to terminate their existence, and I’m wearing my Zelda shirt. I like this shirt and don’t want to get it dirty.

Anyway, Inuyasha! The Redfield-proclaimed worst anime to ever be created, now the RFG’s(RFG is the term I shall use to describe “Rabid Fan Girls” get it? GOOD!) I’m going to now list several reasons on why this fails at everything it tries to be. A Japanese anime show, a Japanese manga, a good story, and actually something I would want to spend 30 minutes of my life watching.

My first beef with the show, Lets start out light and work to the bigger problems. First off…The horrid soundtrack.

I used to like some of the soundtrack when I was a naïve child. Looking back I realized I was probably on reefer and wasn’t aware. The opening and ending themes change more than Joan Rivers face, and much like Joan Rivers face, each theme (both opening and ending) is the complete OPPOSITE of cosmetic improvement. One more Ayumi song…ONE MORE FUCKING AYUMI SONG! She sounds like a dieing animal grasping for air in its last futile attempt to stand up and live. Oh the background music is no better (this was the music I somewhat tolerated) Now I find that it the BG musing NEVER changes. It’s predictable, and you know what song will be coming and when, before even knowing what EPISODE you’re watching, that’s just how bad it is.

Next up on the stand you ask? Why the character’s of course!
Let’s list the majors, shall we?

Inuyasha- The protagonist of the story, and an all around example of why abortion should be mandatory in many cases! You see, He is the stereotypical main anime character(for males at least).
-Animal ears-Check
-Is in some way related to/is a demon-Check
-Big fucked up sword-Check
-Low IQ-Check
-Predictable-Check
-Loud-Check
-Ignorant-Check
-Irrational-Check
-Yaoi fodder- Check
-The woman who loves is a Japanese schoolgirl, who is loud and annoying hentai fodder-Check
Most heroes only apply to…3 of these max, Inuaysha is ALL.
He is flawed, his battle tactics? Run In and attack then go insane and do more damage. After that he ends the fight with wind scar, Count on there being an Iron rever soul stealer in there someplace. That’s so original…you know…cause besides the Iron rever and wind scar, Gatsu from berserk, an anime made about 10 years before, didn’t do the SAME EXACT THING. The only difference is that Gatsu was stronger, and killed demons for a living. Gatsu > inuyasha…Gatsu > anything with a gigantic sword. (and at least Gatsu picking up a large sword is believable. Inuyasha, Cloud…Both are TOO damn small to big up a 100-200 something pound sword. Gatsu is jacked. Gatsu is superior, accept this fact and embrace it)
On top of him being predictable, he’s also very dense. But that’s obvious to the FANS, so there’s no need to go into it.

NEXT VICTEM!
Bring me…Kagome.(Microsoft word picks up my last name as a spelling error, but Kagome isn’t…FUCK OF MICROSOFT)

Ahh Kagome, the wannabe sailor scout and the damsel in distress. The only way she could be ANY more stereotypical of a Japanese anime schoolgirl is if her name was Sakura. She wears a overly short skirt, has a loud annoying voice with a whiny, bitchy personality when her boy-toy inuyasha doesn’t do as she commands. She knows he’s a complete idiot, yet she still expects him to comprehend simple English (or…Japanese, depending on how you look at it) She should be dragged into a back ally…And no, not raped, She’s not good enough for that. She’s not good enough for slow torture either. She should just be shot, and buried in a shallow grave in the woods. She’s not worth the time.

Sango.
I just find her and that damn…Cat…annoying. Torture shall be sufficient.

Miroku
He thinks he’s the ultimate pervert. That title goes to me and Jiraiya, no one else. Let him rot in a jail cell till his days end.

Sesshomaru
Oh…This will be another rant; I have too much to say on this one.


The series itself is my final beef. The episode titles are long and ridicules.
“kagome is pregnant, Hurry inuyasha, find the father and get the magical jewel!” “Inuyasha meets a brown bear, Get to it Miroku! Sango is in trouble!”
“Kagome and the uber l337 magical arrow. Huh? Kikyo? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?? WIND SCAR!”

Every episode is typical and predictable.
“Hey guys…Do you sense that…smells like a demon…Kagome, do you sense a jewl shard?”
“Yes…right in fro-,” *kagome is taken by a demon
“BWAHAHHAHA”*demon runs*
“KAGOMMMEEEE”
“INUYASHHHAAAAA”
“KAGGGGOOOOMMMMMEEEEE”
“IINNNNNUUUUYYYYYYAAAAASSSSHHHHHAAAA”
“KKKAAAGGGGOOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
*Miroku grabs sango’s ass*
“PEVERT” *Slap*
*a challenger appears*
“Sesshomaru? RAWR”
“Yes little brother, it is I…Sephiro-…seshomaru…th…Give me the tetsaiga”
*battle scene*
“SESSSHHHOOOMMARRRUUUUUU”
“….”
“WIND SCAR”
“You win this time brother” *flee*
“Time to save Kagome”
*everyone is off, demon is found*
“KAGOMMMEEEE”
“INUYASHHHAAAAA”
“KAGGGGOOOOMMMMMEEEEE”
“IINNNNNUUUUYYYYYYAAAAASSSSHHHHHAAAA”
“KKKAAAGGGGOOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
*fight insues, sango throws her boomerang, inuyasha kills the demon…Miroku sucks it up with that anus on his hand*
“KAGOMMMEEEE”
“INUYASHHHAAAAA”

*enter a shadow*
“NIRAKU!”
“hahahaha. The scared jewl shall be mine inuyasha”
*Niraku leaves*
*some talking, flash ahead to a picnic or something*
“well this was an interesting and unique once in a lifetime adventure!”
“Indeed”
Everyone “LOL”

On the next episode of inuyasha, Kagome senses a jewl shard, a demon kidnaps her, inuaysha fights koaga, then they both go to save kagome to find a naraku controlled puppet. The have a picnic at the end.

See? Think about it, you’ll realize it’s an unoriginal self-recycling anime with no character development that proves just because something comes from Japan, doesn’t mean it’s godly.

Comments (1)