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myOtaku.com: redflameingdager


Saturday, July 23, 2005

   an email my mother recived at work
in the beginning, god created the hevans and the earth and populated the earth w/ broccoli,colliflower,and spinach, green, yellow, and red veggies of all kinds, so man would live long healthy lives. using gods gifts satan created ben and jerry's ice cream and krispy kream donuts.and satan said "u want chockolate w/ that?" and man said "yes!"and woman said "why ur at it add some sprinkles".they gained ten pounds and satan smiled and god created a healthy yougurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. and satan broughtt fourth white flower from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them and woman went from a size 6 to 14 so god said "try my fresh green salad."and satan presented thousand island dressing, buttry crutons andand garlic toast on the side. man and woman un fasened their belts following the repast.then god said "i have sent u heart healthy veggies and olive oil in which to cook them" and satan brought forth deep fried fishand chicken fried steakso big it needed its own platter. and man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. god then created a light fluffy white cake called angle food cakeand said "it is good"satan created chockolate cake and called it devils food.god then brought fourth running shoes so that his childeren might lose weight. and satan gave them cable tv and the remote controlso man wouldnt have to get up off his lazy butand man and woman laughed and cried beforethe flickering blue light and they gained pounds (again)then god brought fourth the potato, naturaly low in fat and brimmingwith nutrition. and satan peeled off the healthifull skinnand sliced the starchy center in too chips and deep fried them. and man gained pounds.god gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer callories and still satisfy his appitite. and satan created mcdonald's and its 99 cent double cheeseburger. then said "u want fries with that ?" and man replied "yes! and super size it"and satan said "it is good." and man went into cardiac arrest
god sighed and created quaddruple bypass surgury. and satincreated HMOs.
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