Wednesday, December 17, 2008

If Home Is Where The Heart Is Then We're All Fucked

listening to: 20 dollar nose bleed-fall out boy writing: it's a secret. Cassie's Comment Corner: jenny: just put a pic of joe up and i will judge whether or not i think he's hot. I don't judge all guys based on Jon Walker. i know right? i'm a freaking bottle of sunshine! except for those times i call you and cry. okay, but you were so hitting on me tonight what with the 'We should just get married!" and i can already hear your response as you read this. you're my girl friday. lawl, sometimes i think people think that we're ghey. krissy: i'm bad because i actually couldn't wait till friday to get the cd so, i bought myself an early b-day present. yoji: lawl. for the sake of your reputation i shall tell everyone that you were horribly unhelpful. do you seriously not know what cockblocked means? it's like when a person does something that prevents a guy from having sex but i used it as in my mom is preventing my ears from getting laid by fall out boy. roseeyes: no, my feelings weren't hurt. I just wanted to make it clear that i'm not suicidal. we cool. angel z: yeah, it seems i'm having horrible luck so i might just keep on being emo until life gets better. you all help me feel better! haaaaaaa i did get the cd, cause I'm good like that. My subject title is so appropriet. So, I might not have a place to live in two weeks. Why? Because my uncle is an complete ass and won't wait just a little longer. I can't even believe it, we're family, it's the middle of winter and he expects us to find a place to live? He's the worst kind of person. What's worse is I can't stop worrying about it. Don't ever say that you're at rock bottom because life will prove you wrong and kick you a few floors lower. I don't know what we'll do... If worse comes to worse I'm going back to Wisconsin. And I'm so serious. /Start over again in Wisconsin/ In other less depressing news, I got the new Fall Out Boy cd. I'm on the fence with it because it's so different but it's already growing on me so, I'm sure I'll love it in no time. The interesting thing here is that the cd booklet doesn't have lyrics and aside from a few pictures it's all blank. I wondered why until I looked up the website that Pete directed us to and he says he wants the fans to write or draw or design something on the blank pages and then upload them to be shared by the band. I like this idea and I would do it if I had any sort of way to upload the damn picture. Spent good quality time with my brother at the mall. My birthday is on Friday. Someone wanna make me a card? xoxo Cassie

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Coffee's for closers, I'll have a cigarette

listening to: calm before the storm-fall out boy writing: ah...doing some editing on sixteen. icon of the day: Cassie's Comment Corner: krissy: i do so enjoy when you drop your philosophical bombs on meh. ily. jenny: ily 2 roseeyes: i think i already discussed this in the comment i left you. yoji: your comment actually made me feel a lot better so thanks. megan: i guess we're all just sooooo overdramatic. lawl. yes, you and me and jenny need to meet up and have epic conversations. ILY 2! angel z: aww you're not a loser. I think you're pretty amazing so don't get down on yourself. I shouldn't even be getting down on myself but i guess everyone has their emo kid moments. *hugs* So, just to make it clear. I am not suicidal. I'm chalking up yesterday to me having an alloted emo kid day. I mean, I'm usually the one who isn't emo so, it was overdue really. I feel better now, Jenny helped, even though I don't think she knows that she did. Ha Ha, I'm so gonna pedo her friend Joe. And she was hitting on meh on the phone. Lawl. New Fall Out Boy cd today....NEED IT LIKE BUUUUUUURRRRRRNIIIIIIIINNNNNG!!!!!! NEED IT. CAN'T WAIT FOR IT. My mom totally cockblocked my ears. Damn. Sorry, I fangirl FOB a lot but to me they're so much more than a band. I love you myo peeps. xoxo cassie

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Monday, December 15, 2008

Everything I Ask For And So Much More

listening to: everything i ask for-the maine writing: something that i may or may not end up sharing. icon of the day: I hate myself when I'm like this.... I'm worried about a million things I can't control. I'm scared to live. I hate how he's still able to seep into my mind and he doesn't know or care that I'm done with him. It's pathetic that band boys are one of the things that make me feel so much better. I'm scared of getting older. Peter Pan complex for the teenaged soul. Shit, I won't even be a teeanger anymore... I feel like crying. Everything I do feels wrong. I hate myself tonight. Goodnight

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

You Saved My Life That Night On The Roof Of Your Hotel

listening to: G.I.N.A.S.F.S-fall out boy writing: nothin' icon of the day: I'm back on a normal human scheduel, you know, sleeping at night and being awake during the day. The only downside to this is that I cannot stay up past midnight because I just pass out. I finally gave my two kittens names. The boy is named Jonnie Bear and the girl is named Honey Bear. Cute right? This poor raccoon got shot yesterday, right next door and the gunshot was horribly loud. Taylor came over to see me yesterday too. She was waiting to see her boyfriend and decided to come see me too. It was nice and we talked and she told me that she and her boyfriend would come over for my birthday party next Friday. So, I'm completely addicted to my Harvest Moon game. Seriously, I'm playing it right now. It's actually on pause but whatever. Ugh. The website that I tend to post my stories to decided to block one of my stories because the disclamer is wrong. I fixed that stupid thing once before, looks like I'll have to contact someone so they don't delete that story. And it's weird that they'd even do that considering most of my disclaimers are the same and yet only that story got blocked. I attacked my brother with a phalic playdough figure today. epic lawls ensued. ily xoxo Cassie

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Friday, December 12, 2008

I Should Be Ashamed Of This I'm Not

listening to: we've got a big mess on our hands-the academy is... writing: nothing icon of the day: Cassie's Comment Corner: krissy: the flag ceremony is sad! They gave my uncles flag to my cousin. yoji: well, my birthday is next friday so yeah, i might just drink it up then. We got a free christmas tree yesterday. This auto place was giving them away for free so my mom and I went up there and got a nice tall one. We still need a stand for it though. My aunt left back to Arkanas yesterday morning and we went and saw her before she left. She and my grandma gave me twenty bucks for my birthday so I snagged $40 cha-ching. It's nice considering that I didn't think I was going to get anything. My Panic At The Disco package needs to hurry and get here. I bought myself a birthday present. I got the game Harvest Moon for the DS, My brother and I used to be obsessed with that game when we had it for the original playstation. It's fun but not actually the version I was looking for. My brother almost got in a fight in the gamestop's parking lot. We had chinese food for dinner so yeah, not really a bad night. Talked to Jenny last night and we were singing Disney songs on the phone. Cause we're awesome like that. Her computer isn't working right now so, that's why she hasn't been around. Hopefully she can figure out how to fix it today. I need to take a shower and check my email. xoxo Cassie

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

We Need Umbrellas On The Inside

listening to: don't you know who i think i am?-fall out boy writing: something new icon of the day: joncer is good too. Cassie's Comment Corner: roseeyes: no, i'm not really having a hard time with it just that it's a pretty shitty time in my life right now. stephy: yeah, my brother is like that, he's all super outgoing and i tend to be more reserved. yoji: yeah, i think hug ninja is cute, i had jenny change it to my myspace name for me. jenny: i did read THAT post. the timing is uncanny right? ha ha i know, i was like Jenny is already gonna know this stuff. you smelt soooooooooooo good. i could've hugged/straddled you all day. lawl. but then i felt bad because you were alergic. ily and your shitty comments. angel zakuro: yeah, i still don't really know what happened to him. old age i guess? but he wasn't even that old. The funeral was yesterday and the day didn't even start off good. The night before I had been on the internet, to update and whatnot and I was so tired that I guess when I went to bed I forgot to change the phone line over, meaning that no one could call all night or in the morning. The plan had been that my aunt was going to come pick up my mom and I at nine in the morning so we got up at eight-thirty and my mom is asking me about the phone and I realized I had forgot to switch the phone line so she's bitching at me for that. To make matters worse, my aunt shows up at that time, says that the time was wrong and that she was trying to call all morning and that she wouldn't give us a ride because she couldn't wait around. My mom freaked on me, it was terrible. She was all like "I'll never forgive you, you're an idiot" things like that. It all turned out being fine in the end because my cousin gave us a ride and we weren't too late or anything and my aunt didn't even need to be there that early so she could've gave us a ride. My brother was a paubear so I didn't see him much at all. The songs made my mom cry. I didn't think I was going to cry at all but then they played this country song about a little girl and her dad and it was so sad! Sad enough that 95% of the people started to cry..including me. The mass took a long time. Lot's of things to do when it comes to catholic masses. Lot's of standing and sitting and kneeling. The ceremony was nice though, really inspired me religiously, even though I'm not catholic. The cemetary was freezing and someone fell in the snow. They did a gun salute for my uncle because he was in the army when he was younger. My brother got one of the shells. Went to the luncheon after that. Sat with my cousin and my brother and it's kind of sad because I'm not really super close to either side of my family. Like, a few aunts and uncles here and there but no one I spend huge amounts of time with. Ugh, I just wish I wasn't so awkward. I really don't know what to do in social situations. My brother did a ham dance. Came home and I was going to go to sleep but then my aunt and my cousin Ashley came over so I hung out with her and we cuddled on the couch because we were cold and our mom's kept opening the door. We looked through old pictures and my old yearbooks and Ashley saw Danny in one of them and she was like "I don't like him." And she referred to him as 'Cassie's Danny' Ha, whatever, I don't care anymore. They stayed forever and we had taco bell and then they left and I went to sleep because my brother went to dinner with this girl from his school so, I didn't even wake up until like, one in the morning so, now I'm awake and updating but I'm probably just going to go back to sleep after I'm done. What's weird about the funeral is that it really made me aware of death and the fact that one day even I'm going to die so yeah...I might just slip into depression for the next few days as that tends to happen from time to time. Don't worry about me though, and sorry this is so long. xoxo Cassie

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I Can't Force These Eyes To See The End

listening to: hallelujah-paramore writing: something new icon of the day: i kinda heart Spencer lately. Cassie's Comment Corner: krissy: it's not the cold that's bothering me. it's the people. no, you're mostly just random with your music. jenny: i don't want to be all uber friendly with you know who, you know that. i'm so glad it was funny, it hurts my throat though. i know, it was really creepy, it was like he didn't even look real. i only like to watch the auditions of american idol and then like the last two episodes. i know right? 9 times out of 10 we're dirting it up. STOP MAKING FUN OF MY LACK OF BEING ABLE TO SPELL FRENCH WORDS! roseeyes: unfortunatly my brother is a million times bigger than me. yoji: oh yeah, i forgot you watch heroes. stephy: i make dirty words pretty, fo sho. So, the viewing was yesterday. It wasn't too bad, not as bad as I thought. I'm just kind of an awkward kid and am equally awkward in social situations. My uncle, who is our landlord is a total douchebag. He told my brother that he would not be acknowledging my mom and I, big fucking deal. I don't want to talk to him anyway, but i did hear him talking about my mom and I got upset about it. I fucking hate him. My uncles body was strange, it just looked...I dunno, unreal. Maybe it was because I haven't seen him in such a long time but he didn't even look like himself. Creepy. I tried to avoid the casket but my grandma made me go up there with her so I was standing there uncomfortable. Mostly I hung out with my cousin Ashley and my brother. The two of them are a lot alike and are very outgoing while I am not so much. So, they were being all loud and outrageous while I was sitting there quietly. The rosary cemermony was long and repetitive. I'm not a practicing catholic so I didn't know what to do with the hand motions and things. We were there for a long time. From like five until nine at night. They had food set up for each family and our food sucked, the other families had better food and Timmy [my brother] ended up stealing cookies from another family's table while Ashley was pedoing little kids. She also spit tomato on me but it was on accident. Timothy and I talked to our cousin Michale, who is the same age as me, I thought he was older. But anyway he shook my brothers hand and he went to shake mine but I was like "Hug?" So, we hugged and I got nicknamed the hug ninja. lawl. Before the viewing my mom was smoking so I smelt like cigarette smoke really bad so, we went into this Walgreens and I sprayed tester perfume on myself. Funeral is today at ten in the morning. I'm not really looking forward to it but at least I have a new shirt to wear so, I won't look horribly inappropriet. xoxo cassie

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Go Ahead And Cry Yourself To Sleep And Think About How You Hate Me So Bad

listening to: believe me i'm lying-forever the sickest kids writing: the bodyswap story icon of the day: he's so hootttt. i'm thinking i might have used this one before. Cassie's Comment Corner: krissy: your eclectic taste in music is surprising. you'll always be a panic girl at heart. i kinda love your avi btw. ryan makes me lol. roseeyes: yoji would be the myotaku member the real yojimbo. yoji has become his popular new nickname. stephy: i think it's probably because i used a naughty word. lol does it block bad words? can you even read this? yoji: yeah, but then i'd get in a lot of trouble for the toilet volcano. Apparently, my Wall.E impresenation makes people lol. It hurts my throat though. My arm hurts today and I know it's because my brother bent it behind my back and made it all sore or something. Today is the viewing for my uncle Danny, I'm also going to go around and try to find a black shirt to wear to the funeral on Wednesday. I'm a little creeped out to think about seeing his body though, is that weird? I really haven't been to a funeral since I was maybe...tweleve. Jenny and I totally had a TV date and watched Heroes together, even though she had no idea what was going on and was being a pedo. We also talked about highly innapropriet things of which I will not repeat....Jon Walker's fingers.....yeah. "Everything I do makes you hard." Ha Ha I love her to death. ^ watch her make an emo remark about that. Birthday in Ten days, Folie A Duex in Seven. I might just run away to Wisconsin.... xoxo Cassie

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Monday, December 8, 2008

When You Were Young You Kept A List Of The Things You'd Miss As You Got Older

listening to: one day robots will cry-cobra starship freaked out by: my brothers insane rap and dance act writing: the apocalypse diaries Cassie's Comment Corner: krissy: ha, i so knew that you would like that song. the first time i heard it, it made me think of you. yoji: oh dear god, i would be traumatized too. yes, i will tell krissy. jenny: i know right? do i know my friends or what? love the jondon jenny! Plleeeasssseee. jwalk is greater than the ryan. i didn't call you because my brother isn't waking me up so he let's me sleep until like nine at night. -_- awsmeguitarist: i don't like twilight all that much but i do like jasper. ha ha yeah, i remember that and i thought about it when i was eating it. FOR THE RECORD I AM NOT STEALING CABLE. Ever start a play fight with someone and then it turns real? Yeah, that happens with my brother and I all the time. But he's so much bigger than me so he can just slam me into doors and walls and tackle me to the floor. He sat on me and nearly killed me. He does this really disgusting thing though where he'll stick his hand in his underwear and then touch stuff, like my mouse and keyboard and my wallet. We got in a washcloth fight too, slapping each other with a wet washcloth. But seriously, I got the best revenge ever because my mom bought me some salad spritzer stuff but I don't like it so, I took it in the kitchen and sprayed it into one of his waterbottles. hahahahahahahaha. Now my cousin isn't coming up for the funeral so, I don't get to see her and my aunt is having trouble finding a ticket on such short notice because I guess they jack the prices up since it's almost christmas. When I went grocery shopping the entire store smelt like weed. I swear the workers must've been toking up in the back of the store. I have this pair of jeans that has a rather obscene rip in them and instead of throwing them out I made them awesome my writing lyrics from songs all over them. God, I could never be a screamo singer. xoxo Cassie

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Sunday, December 7, 2008

It Just Sickens Them, What I Consider Fun

listening to: when your around-motion writing: nothing but i have the sudden urge to write sixteen again icon of the day: i won't stop until i convert jenny Cassie's Comment Corner: jangalian: it's fine because i was actually gone for a terribly long amount of time myself. but it's uber good to hear from you again. yeah, my mom hit the bottle because of her brother dying but each day she is doing better. ryan ross would be the guitarist/lyricist for the band panic at the disco and he had a rough family situation. yoji: did you vomit because someone made you think of your grandparents having sex? jenny: hee hee, i think you would take another first if i tried hard enough. oh my god @ our family secretz. i love that movie but the beginning makes me cry! poor lil oliver! *gets teary eyed* yeah, you get the more relatable to ryan ross award. no i thought mario was making fun of ME not You. i was not staring at you but i would've been had you been moaning liek you do when you dream of me. ha ha yeah, i so wanna do that now so maybe expect a postcard in the package i send you and then you send me one too. i don't get the r----jwalkey thing. I C YEW LEAVING ASHLEE SIMPSON IN MAH COMMENTS. No cable=cheesy ass infomertials at five in the morning. Don't ask me why I am up this early/late because I don't have a good reason. Maybe because I just couldn't wake up today so I slept in super long. Went shopping with my mom and we shopped sooooooooooooooo long. I looked at all the cute lil baby clothes though because that's just cute and also because one of my good friends is having her baby in February. I really like the name Jasper. Annnnd cockslut is a funny word. I'm about to eat a lunchable, turkey and american style with a reeses piece in it. Yum. I can't wait for my Panic At The Disco package to arrive. Which reminds me that I need to call the post office. STFU 'That's What You Get' fucking stupid face ruined that song for me with his skill of playing it on the guitar for me over the phone. I also can't wait to see my cousin Jacqueline. Even though it is under sad circumstances. I think my brother knows how to hook up cable illegally... xoxo cassie

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