Saturday, May 3, 2008

i used to rely on self medication, i guess i still do that from time to time

listening to: everything is alright-motion city soundtrack had a pretty lazy day honestly. it was cold and rainy out. good sleeping weather. my brother and i played two player sims a lot because it's hilarious that we argue about which sim gets to shower first and who makes more money but really we're a good team. we went out for dinner, kinda but not really. we went to this small rib place for my mom and she got some ribs and fries and whatever and my bro got fried okra. my bro and i got dinner from long john silvers and we all ate together as a family. my cousin porsha is spending the night. she's pretty easy to deal with so i'm not to worried about it. i think it is now possible for a person to burn their scalp. i think i have because it's so dry and itchy. ugh it's bugging me!! have you guys seen the new anime on adult swim? it's on at one in the morning my time. i think it's called...code geass or something like that. i watched the first episode and liked it even though it was kinda boring. ugh sandra claimed my friend rachel lied and that she never said that she knows danny. i don't know who to believe. rachel probably. urrgh i just wish sandra would just back the fuck off. i mean i know that danny isn't mine and i can't control who he wants to be friends with but i just have a feeling that he wouldn't like sandra because she is so so fake. annnnd i mean i actually KNOW him. we have past, we have history, she needs to back the fuck off. ...i miss jenny...i should probably call her later today.

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an old man gave me a tip he said

listening to: lyrical lies-cute is what we aim for i'm feeling better today. i didn't mean to sound so depressed but i did. luckily only one person read yesterdays post. school was average more or less. our senior class went to baker college and it was alright, only entertaining because taylor made it funny. we almost got int trouble because she kept making farting noises and innapropreit jokes. the bus ride back to school was pretty fun too and we got pizza and cookies but i don't think i'm gonna go to that college. my friend rachel told me that the girl sandra (who i am having mini drama with) was talking about me during fifth hour. she also told me that sandra said that she KNOWS danny. what a lying fucking bitch! she doesn't know him! the only reason she even knows what he looks like is from seeing him in last year's yearbook in the same pic with me! and then she found out i knew him and i guess it all went down hill from there. who is she trying to kid for real? we all know you don't know him! we knew him....ugh she is so stupid. i had to give my kitten brendon away yesterday too. my mom came in at the end of my sixth hour with brendon and so my class got to see him and my teacher who is taking him loves him and i managed to hold it together till class was over but i couldn't help crying a little. i didn't want to give him away but my mom made me. prom is today but i'm not going. it costs waaaay too much and also we'd have to go to the normal high school's prom and i didn't want to do that and jeremiah would be there with his girlfriend and i don't wanna see that either. so whatever i don't care that much. i played the sims yesterday for the first time in a long time and oh man i forgot how fun and addictive that game is. especially when my brother and i were playing two player and we had like no money and our sims were near suicidal with how sucky they felt. i've been reading this book for my english class called 'uninvited' it's really good so far. i think i few people here would like it. mostly belinda and jenny. myspace=drama

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Friday, May 2, 2008

you've never been so divine in accepting your defeat

listening to: folkin' around-panic at the disco Cassie's Comment Corner: awesmeguitarist: taylor is a girl. no, i don't have a kid, not at all. rydon is...well maybe you should just google it lol. no, danny isn't my boyfriend, he's just a really good friend of mine who i had a thing for in the past. insane rascal: you know what's weird? all day i was thinking how pnumonia was spelt with a P but then i go and type it with an A. belinda: lol so sorry i tramatized you by introducing you to the wonders of danny. angel zakuro: i found my charger under the computer chair. i can feel myself slipping down, i guess it was happening all along but i didn't notice until now. i just feel so overwhelmingly helpless...i feel like it was all for naught, that no one is believeing in me anymore. do i even believe in myself? i have to do this, nothing has ever felt more important to me then walking across that stage and getting that piece of paper...please don't leave me behind... it was jeremiah's last day. so he's gone and maybe it's selfish but i'll miss him because now i don't feel as special, i don't feel like anyone will pay attention to me now that he's gone. it didn't matter anyway because he had a girlfriend and it's not like i was in love with him or anything but there was flirting and when he was leaving he held me for a long time and i craved that, i wanted that all the time. "and i've never been more scared to be alone..." i guess it isn't that i'm terribly upset about jeremiah though i will miss him but it's the fact that i feel so alone. i want a boyfriend, i do but maybe it's fine that i am alone right now because i tend to get so distracted when i'm in love but i see other people and i want that too. my friend bobbi told jeremiah that i liked him...i don't know if i should be mad. if he knew i liked him does that mean he rejected me? not exactly but what was i expecting? him to drop everything for me? nah, i wouldn't want that. there is some drama. this girl sandra and myself are fighting i guess and it's over danny. it's really my own fault. i didn't have to say those things about sandra but i did because that's what i do when it comes to him, so i apologized and i'm not afraid of her, not even a little not even at all and it didn't stop her from running around and telling her friends what i did and giving me little glares in the hallways. field trip today, we're going to baker college though i don't think i'm gonna go there at least it gets me out of my third and fourth hour. changed my theme. how do you like it? i wasn't sure what i wanted to do and this seemed nice so i like it and the avi is a panic at the disco lyric which i really like. i have to give my kitten brendon away to my english teacher and she is going to change his name. i'm sad, i don't wanna give him away. saw all this cool panic at the disco footage on my on demand and it was awesome. totally love panic at the disco naked. hee and my mom likes jon walker. "i just think that everyone deserves their own parade."-ryan ross

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

just beat it!

listening to: reinventing the wheel to run myself over-fall out boy things i learned in the past two days: .my brother has walking ammonia .according to doug, jeremiah is flirting with me .ever since i told jeremiah that i like emo guys he's been adament in telling me that he wants emo hair. .i fucking hate some people in my school and how everyone has an opinion about who likes who .taylor lives really fucking close to danny .danny is being far more receptive to me lately .i've unoffically started calling justin jcrawl XD .taylor and i maybe spend a bit too much time together lol .freshman will lie to you .i love my autistic kid so so much .i will punch sandra in the face if she tries anything with danny .i've been matching pretty good lately .totally tougher when i play floor hockey now .thought about ryden pron when i was in second hour .i'm still jealous after all this time .i will always have a soft spot for him wondering if: .if jeremiah likes me can i take another girl's boyfriend? .where in the hell my battery charger is going to: .a field trip on friday .taylor's daughter, miley's first b-day on may 10th .rachel's babyshower .taylor's house to help her w/senior stuff

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Sunday, April 27, 2008

you are never coming home, never coming home

listening to: the ghost of you-my chemical romance Cassie's Comment Corner: belinda: i doubt it will backfire in this situation. it's a win-win babeh. jenny: ha i can't even remember...i think it was about the dog named bambi part and he said something about the trumpet part. sad that i can't remember dream ryan. lol phone karoke is the best kind! that was so crazy! i couldn't even think of the song and you had it right away! ily babeh. XD i can't believe i forgot to talk about this but HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO PATRICK MARTIN STUMP(H) yeah, dearest tricky, the lead singer of fall out boy and only the most adorable boy ever turned 24 yesterday and i forgot to include it in my post. ir bad fan. ^that'd be patrick if you didn't know caught up on my fanfic reading yesterday. how i love the fanfics. XD back to school today. i need to get people's addresses so i can send them invites to my open house. hmmm i think danny got to see mayday parade in concert last night. i dunno if he did but if he did i am so jealous! i heart the mayday parade. speaking of danny, i so want my sign from him so i can make justin j-e-a-l-o-u-s. la la la i don't know when he'll send it though and i don't really wanna pester him about it. did a little writing but nothing too productive...maybe i should post one of my mini panic stories? i dunno krissy and jenny have already read them sooooooo *shrugs* ~cassie~

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gotta step away from my jock

listening to: smile for the paparazzi-cobra starship enlisted my favorite scene kid danny in helping me make justin jealous. this will probably work too considering that justin hates when i talk about danny, maybe it was me telling him that he would never be as great as danny but whatever...does this make me evil? my brother says yes. oh i had an odd dream that i was talking to ryan ross on the computer and we were discussing the panic at the disco song "mad as rabbits." and i was basically asking him to explain it and he was but now i can't remember what dream-ryan said. i blame this dream on jenny. oh and i talked to jenny on the phone and i heart our conversations. she's like the only person who i can sing on the phone with. aaaaannnnddd we know each other waaay to well cause i was trying to think of the name of a song and she got it first guess. we iz twinz! XD

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Friday, April 25, 2008

you still have all of me

listening to: my immortal (acoustic version)-evanescene went to school. it was fine. i guess yesterday was national gay pride day or whatever where you don't talk all day to support the gay people. my friend sandra and this other girl crystal did it but they ended up talking before fourth hour and destiny ended up talking at midnight right after it started lol. when we were going to fourth hour though taylor grabbed my hand and was holding it and then she threw our hands up in the air and yelled "gay pride!" XD right in front of our principal! i was like "no wonder people think we're gay..." lol oh, oh i saw all time low on trl the other day...yeah, they're hot. i like them *thumbs up* destiny, bobbi, and i were coloring during lunch and then we got into a marker fight and i guess i play dirty cause i always stab with the marker then drag so people get long ass streaks of color on them. then destiny punched me fucking hard in the arm and it hurt so bad and it still hurts and i punched her in the boob and taylor was hitting her. really she wouldn't leave me alone all day! cause in sixth hour she knocked me out of my chair and onto the floor in the computer lab and then she was like rolling around on the floor with me...yeah, i'm pretty sure she's hitting on me. heard that justin was gonna get into a fight with a freshman and i asked him about it and he said he wasn't. and he ended up hugging said freshman in the hallway...yeah... tried to teach doug about panic at the disco but he just couldn't grasp it...poor country bumpkin. and he pole danced in front of me later. well i'm exhausted and am about to go to sleep but i wanted to touch on something briefly. danny, i think he changed. i think he's cleaned up his act...i'm not sure though because it's been an eternity since i've talked to him like actually talked. but his myspace he did apologize to all the girls he hurt in the past and i am including myself in there because there is no way anyone can say that he never hurt me. anyway i'm glad he's growing and maturing and i wish him all the luck in the world with that endevor. ~cassie~

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Thursday, April 24, 2008

what if i ripped your heart apart at the seams? then you'd know how i'd feel

listening to: helena-my chemical romance we didn't have school yesterday and i didn't go the day before that so i had two days off and now i so don't feel like going today but i know i have to so i am. i have to go do a horrible test saturday. it's to test if i have diabetes or not. i really don't think i do but according to the test i have to not eat anything after midnight and then go do the test and drink this stuff, get my blood drawn, then wait there for like two hours then get my blood taken again....i don't want to do that. my brother is taking drivers training soon too. meh, i don't really care about that but i have to study soon too so i can take the test's and get my license too. so, i'm feeling freaking stressed. i really am and it's all about graduation...they can't screw me over...they can't! not after all i've done...god i'm running out of time and i feel like no matter how hard i work i can't accomplish it all.... imma go cry myself to sleep now...not really though.

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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

i st-st-stutter when you ask me what i'm thinking about

listening to-chicago is so two years ago-fall out boy (possibly the best fob song ever) Cassie's Comment Corner: belinda: i've always liked that name too. yeah, i would've much rather had danny opposed to a gay girl hitting on me. krissy: unecessary emoness is always fun. lawl so the field trip was fine, school was actually fun considering we weren't there. i didn't go to advisory till late cause i didn't know my teacher was there because she didn't have her car. so i was all late and i didn't know where taylor was and i saw her boyfriend and he and i and my brother went out to taylor's car and she wasn't out there so we were coming back inside and we ran into brittany and destiny so all of us went downstairs to the advisory class. then we had to get ice so taylor, brittany, destiny, my brother and myself all got in taylor's car at seven thirty in the morning and drove to the supermarket where we bought ice and we were bumping the bass and we were all squashed but it was hilarious. the bus arrived soon after and i practically ran out to the bus and managed to get a seat but holy shit did that ONE BUS fill up fast! destiny was behind me so she sat with me. then like a whole bunch of other kids were left off the bus so we had to wait and wait for a second and very small bus to show up for the other kids and the teachers decided to drive so everyone got a seat. taylor was on my bus but she was waaaay in the back and my brother was on my bus too. but seriously we were sitting in the bus waiting to leave for nearly an hour! then the bus ride took forever so all i did was talk to destiny and my friend jessica and listen to music and text taylor and yell at my brother and whatnot. the museum was cool though. they got mad at me though cause they said i was being loud when i first came in and i didn't even know i was but whatever. i was the only person to bring a camera so i didn't really listen to our guide. i was taping stuff and taking pics with the flash off and looking at stuff. a lot of the stuff was cool but i don't feel like i learned much. we learned about the history of the jews and saw a bunch of natzi memorablia and they had like hitler's office stuff with cigarettes that are like forty years old and the real outfits the jews in the camps had to wear. we were sat in this room and showed videos and some of them were so damn disturbing that i doubt i'll ever forget them. they had this cool thing called a think note where you write a note and stick it to this booths and i wrote one. then we listened to a holocaust survior and his story was really touching and i believe it was my favorite part. the bus ride home was more fun then the ride there. after school taylor hung around and got in a ice fight with my bro and we got free pops. jeremiah showed up and took my pop and was drinking it and then i had my other pop and he took that one and i couldn't reach it and he dropped it and dented it then he tried to spray me with it so i let him have it but he promised he'd bring me one tomorrow. he also claimed i had the hots for him. and he like jumped on me cause i took his papers out of his pocket and he wants to take pics of himself with my camera so i guess i can show you guys a pic of him. ~cassie~

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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

cassie and jenny escape from guantanamo bay

listening to: since you've been gone-cover by a day to remember Cassie Comment Corner: awesmeguitarist: well i will send it to you soon i forgot to do it so i will soon i promise! krissy: i shall fear the krissy if i don't send you chapters! i sent it to you now though so don't hate me! lol belinda: well i sent you the next chapter too my chapter so i hope you read that one too. angel zakuro: i don't know it was required to take the ACT in my school to graduate. had a pretty damn easy day at school. since i had my dentist appointment i didn't even get there until the middle of fourth hour so all i really had were two classes to attend. the dentist was fine though. i got my teeth cleaned and they told me the pain i feel in my mouth is from a tooth that has decay so i will probably need a filing and that my wisdom tooth on the same side is coming in so i can get anything done until may 15th. too long for me. hee, taylor saw me come in late and she was all looking at me and i was like "what?" and she was like "where were you?" my brother said it sounds like we're married. i learned that the field trip we have to the holocaust museum were only getting one school bus. one bus for seventy five+ kids? no way is that gonna work. plus teachers? no doubt we're going two to a seat and that sucks already. and paul already called dibs to sit with taylor but taylor said she'd try to save me a seat and my bro did too because really, i hate riding on the bus since i've had such horrible experiences on buses. i had to go shopping with taylor and paul after school so we could buy stuff for the field trip and it was hilarious because for real it was like seeing their future together. she was bossing him around and they were arguing like they were married. it was so funny. though at one point taylor left paul and i alone so we looked like a couple....no, just no. lol really looking forward to the field trip though. i ran into jeremiah when i was leaving to go shopping and i gave him a hug and promised i'd see him later. i did see him later and he showed me pics on his myspace and asked if he could cry on my shoulder and he made fun of fall out boy and he headbutted me when he was leaving but it was friendly and it didn't hurt...yeah, that sounded strange. ~cassie~

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