Thursday, February 22, 2007

if your head's a prison then these are just conjugal visits

mood: depressed watching: conan o brien hi, wow i was totally not expecting seven comments yesterday! thank you all! seriously i was expecting like one at best. well i want to apologize in advance because this post is flavored mildly depressing. i don't know lately i just feel really sad for some reason. i just feel really ugly and not good enough and just plain old sad. i feel like i'm sinking slowly into depression. i think i mostly feel ugly because of the fact that i am overweight and maybe the whole myspace thing hit me harder then i thought it did. i never mentioned i was overweight before now and it may not seem like a big deal but i did it on purpose i don't know i just didn't want anyone's perception of me to change. like i don't want to be posting and all you guys can think of is a huge overweight girl. hell even as i'm typing this i feel like i should just backspace and delete it all. but maybe i feel i should get this out in the open so i can feel better about all of this. this is also the same reason why i have never put a picture of myself up on my site even though not too many people do. even though i know nobody here would every say anything but it's not so much what people would say as much as it is what people would think about me. *sigh* i don't know maybe i should just get over my fears and post a pic of myself in the near future but i'm not sure if my self esteem will allow it. well i don't want you guys to look to much into this as it is probably just the depressed rantings of teenager with low self esteem. i'm almost sure i'll be fine in a few days time. in other happier news i still didn't finish my world war two diary despite working on it nearly all day. so i don't really know how this news is happier. it's more like a change of subject. well it is thursday my dear friends and that means the next chapter of my story! so last thursday i screwed up and posted the wrong chapter so i'm going to post the entire chapter five. it's alittle long so anybody who already read and remembers the first part of chapter five can skip on down to part two. and as always if anyone missed any of the story or wants to reread it for any reason. feelm free to go to the myo site redmoonchick2 because that's where the story is archived. "my friend rory" chapter five: noon: make a decision rory's words struck me hard like a slap across the face. "infamous?" i wondered what he could mean, and i prayed silently that my hunch wasn't right. rory was currently pulling me along behind him; his hand clutched tightly around my wrist. at first i wasn't sure where we were going but as we raced down the body filled hallway i realized it; we were heading upstairs. the floor upstairs held four classrooms. classrooms that at this point i wasn't sure were empty or full but because rory was heading up to these rooms i could guess that they were in fact full. as the two of us moved i began to think. "should i be doing something to stop him?" i thought "was there anything i could do?, what could i possibly do to stop rory at this point? short of having him kill me and saving his future victims a few spare minutes." my thoughts transferred from what i could do to help the other students to the other students. what were they thinking right now? what thoughts were playing through there minds? did they know they were doomed? or by chance did they think they were free? it was all too much for me to bare. there was no way i could stand idly by and let rory kill those remaining students. i still didn't know how many people had managed to get out or if my brother and ellie were one of them. "rory what if my brother and ellie are upstairs?" i asked him "im not sure yet" he said and it made my blood run cold. "your not going to kill them are you?" i asked not terrified praying that ellie and my brother weren't upstairs. the two of us had reached the top floor everything was silent and the doors in the hall were closed and the lights in the room off. it left everything in the hall with a atmosphere of death as if the school itself were reflecting the actions that had taken place in it. rory let go of my wrist and i noticed a fine purple bruise was forming; rory's fingermarks etched into my skin. rory moved slow and quietly towards the first door in the hall, the computer lab. he reached out slowly and took the door handle turning it and pulling; the door rattled roughly but didn't open, it was locked. "damn" rory muttered as if he hadn't perdicted that the door would be locked. rory appeared to think for a moment considering his options before he raised his foot and kicked the door hard. the door let out a loud rattle; rory kicked again harder this time. the glass in the door broke and shattered covering rory's leg in fragments. "success" rory exclaimed he carefully reached his hand into the now broken glass of the door reaching down he grabbed the handle from the inside and gave it a pull. the door opened mercilessly before rory; he looked back at me grinned and went inside. for a moment i was tempted to stay in the hall believing that if i didn't see it take place then it wasn't real. "laylah" i heard rory say from inside the classroom "come here". i flinched as i heard his words but remorsefully i followed him knowing that i would have to make a choice now; there was no time to wait, no time to properly think it over. if the roles were reversed and i was trapped in a classroom about to be killed wouldn't i want someone to help me? it was then that i decided; it was in that moment that i knew what i had to do but i had to see what rory would do first. chapter five: noon, make a decision: part two inside the computer class the students were huddled together on the floor by the teachers desk. the teacher in question mr. carter was too on the floor huddled by his desk except he was sitting in front of his students in what i'd guess was a last ditch effort to save them. the students in the class at that time ranged from seniors to freshman but there was no doubt that all the students were terrified. most of the girls in the class had burst into tears at the sight of rory and it made me wonder why i was no longer crying; wasn't i scared too? my eyes quickly scanned the students in the class as did rory's and to my relife neither ellie or my brother appeared to be in the class. "alright" rory began. "everybody listen up! the cops are here now and so are the news cameras now heres the deal; i want to go down in history as a legend so now i'm going to kill you all." he said in an emotionless way. at his words more people gasped and cried in fear; i could see them all visibley shaken knowing full well that these could be their last moments. i had also made a decision based on rory's words i decided that now would be a good time to go ahead with my plan; it was just that i couldn't really think of a way to stop rory; that was until i saw a boy in the class staring at me. i moved my head a bit so rory wouldn't notice me and looked at the boy. he was a student i had seen many times but had never actually spoken to; i didn't know his name or what grade he was in but right now none of that was important. the boy seemed to be signalling to me in some way but i couldn't really tell what he meant. "please rory tell me why your doing this?" we heard mr. carter ask. i knew what mr. carter was doing; he was buying time for himself and the students. "that's not important" rory answered; while rory was distracted by his conversation with mr. carter i was still trying to figure out what the mystery boy was saying to me. he lifted his hands up a little trying his best not to draw attention to himself; he pushed his hands forward like he was grabbing or pushing something. i must've still looked confused because he then mouthed the words to me; from what i could tell he was saying "distract him" he then pointed at rory and i knew it was what he meant. i shook my head softly "no" i mouthed thankful that the boy and i were behind rory. i brought my finger to my throat and slid it across then pointed at him signing that this stunt would get him killed. while the boy and i were still signing rory and mr. carter were still talking; about what i wasn't sure. i watched the boy mouth the words "do it' thankfull once again that i was close enough to him to be able to accurately read his lips. i nodded seeing that this was finally my chance to pull off my plan. i saw the boy nod at me he appeared as a mix of anxiety and nerves and i realized that i was the same; i saw the boy sort of get up a little ready to jump up at any moment. i glanced at rory's back checking where he was currently holding his weapon; i took a deep breath trying hard not to think of it as my last. i glanced at the boy once more. "rory!" i half shouted half said. he turned and looked at me surprised. "what?" he asked sounding slightly annoyed "i-i thought i heard something in the hall. what if its the cops?" i said to him; "really?" he asked. i nodded "please, please fall for it" i pleaded to him in my head; he looked at me for a moment before he turned and walked past me heading slowly towards the hall. before rory could reach the hall the unknow boy had leapt up to his feet; he dashed over towards rory jumping on his back "the hell?" rory cried out as he felt the larger boy tackle him. the duo fell to the ground just outside the classroom door; the gun slipping out of rory's hand and skidding across the hall floor. rory and the boy were now struggling on the floor; rory was fighting to once again take hold of his gun and the boy was fighting to keep rory down. the two of them were throwing punches and now rory's lip was bleeding and the boy had a large scratch on the side of his face. "grab the gun!" the boy yelled at me; i was snapped from my daze by this and instantly ran to the hall "laylah no!" rory screamed at me. just as i reached the gun rory had kicked the boy squarely in the chest; rory was now laying stomach down on the floor he too was now scrambling for the gun. i grabbed it first but before i could flee with it a hand grabbed my arm firmly; "i don't think so laylah" rory muttered to me. rory looked positivly crazy; the fight had left him disheveled and bleeding; rory began bending my arm in an unatural way causing me pain. rory continued holding my arm in this way until i was on the ground in front of him; with his other hand he pryed the gun from my hands. "its over" i thought desperately; rory now had the gun he had his power back i was dead for sure. before i gave up i willed myself to try once more despite what may happen to me; rory was standing before me huffing and breathing wildly. "this is it" i thought i scooted a bit closer to him lifted my leg and swiftly kicked him in his dick; pain showed on his face and he dropped to his knees; during his fall to the floor the gun had gone off with a sharp "bang" and i felt a white hot pain filling me. ************************************************ my that was quite a cliffhanger! ~redmoonchick~

Comments (9)